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A Short Message From The Liberal Party…

Good evening,

In this upcoming election, which is all about jobs and growth, you have a clear choice. You can vote for a party which has a clear plan and a clear slogan, or you can destroy the country by voting for the Labor Party.

We have a clear plan and it’s clear that we’re not the Labor Party and that’s the reason that you should vote for us. Labor ran up an enormous deficit and we’ve managed to get that deficit under control. Various people have tried to suggest that we’ve tripled the deficit since coming to power but this is incorrect and we’d like to refute it by pointing out that it can’t possibly be true because it’s just not the sort of thing that we’d do. It’s the sort of thing that the Labor Party would do. And we’re not the Labor Party because we believe in jobs and growth and even though people have started sending it up, it won’t stop us saying jobs and growth at least four hundred times before the election because that’s what we are.

Not only do we have a clear plan but we also have a popular leader in Malcolm Turnbull. Malcolm has many admirable qualities. For a start, he’s not a member of the Labor Party, but more importantly, he’s not Tony Abbott. So there’s two reasons to vote for us.

However, if jobs and growth aren’t enough then let us just point out that we also stopped the boats and that if you vote Labor then that’ll be a clear signal that our borders are open and you’ll have illiterate people stealing your jobs because that’s the sort of worker our friends in business want – people who don’t cause a lot of trouble by reading about their entitlements.

Just remember on polling day, we’re not the Labor Party, Malcolm’s not Tony and we’re the ones with a positive plan for re-election and that Labor will send you broke by spending your taxes on health and education instead of using it to give $50 billion in company tax cuts, so a vote for us and you’ll get the same sort of boost to the economy that we promised when we cut the carbon tax and the mining tax.

23 comments

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  1. Jack Russell

    Well then…it’s clear…class warfare it is! Black biro primed and ready… ?

  2. Kate M

    I needed that. Thank Rossleigh.

  3. Florence nee Fedup

    Yes a war that sees those at the top attempting to wipe out all benefits, services and assistance given to the masses.

    At the same time, those at the top are refusing to pay their fair of cost in providing infrastructure needed for society and industry to exist.

    They see themselves to be entitled to the whole wealth pie, while demanding those at the bottom pay all taxes needed to keep the economy afloat.

    PM out today promising to cut wages in the construction industry.

    They don’t understand that wealth is created by all, not just capital.

    That a fair and just society, provides highly skilled, educated workforce needed for future growth. If we pull together, work together, we all prosper.

  4. Jack Russell

    Yep.

    Fed up with these parasitic sociopaths crushing workers and anyone who supports workers, the helpless, the vulnerable, and common decency, to death under the combined weight of suborned establishments, amoral corporate executives and their sycophants.

    Enough is enough…

  5. keerti

    I believe that that may be the problem Florence. The liberal party all pulling togeter!

  6. Max Gross

    I doubt that the odious, inherently rapacious and corrupt LNP and its financial backers will be detered by satire

  7. wam

    wow I just watched the wilder people with my grandies and rossleigh bro i want a selfie bro you are a legend bro.
    I can see you joining the poor in vaucluse with a story like that. It brought chuckles to my knuckles and put a giggle to my wiggle. I have been trying to explain quota, exclusion, exhausted and excess votes to people who struggle with the simple member voting sustem(excuse the kiwi influenced by a pleasant simple film)

  8. Carol Taylor

    Can anyone clarify for me what the Libs’ ‘clear plan’ is? They keep saying it, and I continue to be unable to see it unless it’s..wait for it..tax cuts. Because tax cuts for companies will encourage them to pay tax when they currently do not (sort of an honesty system), and because more money in the pockets of the already well to do will encourage them to buy a something-or-another from someone-or-another. A plan? No, it’s a theory and it wouldn’t matter how many economists you line up to say it will do zilch, zip and zero for economic growth, Turnbull will keep on insisting that it’s Jobson Groethe. Turnbull is doing the former Abbott/Credlin leadership proud.

  9. paul walter

    Really, people must stop taking notice of Turnbull’s nonsenses.

    I see Jobsan Groth has turned up again. Laura Norder, done to death by a maniacal Abbott, seems hardly able to raise a flutter.

  10. bobrafto

    I really liked this ‘a clear plan and a clear slogan,’

  11. MichaelW

    Is jobesan Grothe Eric Grothes brother? That famous footballer?

  12. Marilyn Riedy

    I am absolutely fed up with the Liberal (not at all) lies and posturing. I am completely over this election campaign. All three majors lie and make deals and there is not one statesman amongst them. This bunch of idiots are what you get with career politicians. We need a Hawke or better still a Gough Whitlam, Someone with the style and concern for the nation and the people in it. I just want to vote now and not have to put up with this blaming each other. …. and since when do business alliance get to advertise in an election? Since the lobbyists took over the government? Then God help the Australian people! Greed reigns and democracy is dead.

  13. economicreform

    As I recall, Turnbull ousted Abbott on the grounds that Abbott habitually issued three-word slogans in preference to real policy statements, and that this would never do because it would harm the Libs’ chance of re-election. Perhaps Malcolm has decided that “jobs and growth” should be regarded as something other than a three-word slogan?

  14. Kaye Lee

    As a journalist pointed out the other day, at least Abbott’s slogans had a doing word in them – STOP the boats, AXE the tax, BUILD the roads – Jobson Groethe on the other hand has no mention of action. Apparently if we ask multinationals to pay even less tax, we will magically all be better off. Rupert and Gina will be well pleased.

  15. Billy

    The Liberals are like most bullies. They are very shocked when people have finally had enough and they fight back

  16. diannaart

    Clear as Crystal

  17. Klaus

    Hi Carol, massive tax cuts to the corporate. Then waiting 30 years for the trickle down. In the meantime, the society, as we know it, is gone.

  18. Terry2

    Q&A

    Reporter : Mr Turnbull why did you change the Senate voting system and call a Double Dissolution of both houses of our parliament ?

    Turnbull : Excellent question : I only ever contemplated taking on the Prime Ministership of this country on the basis that I rule supreme and have a majority in both Houses. Anything else would be pure chaos.

    Reporter : So, if you do not achieve a majority in both Houses you’ll resign, right ?

    Turnbull : Are you from the ABC ?

  19. johnlward010

    Can I get some details of how this plan works? What are the specific objectives? When does each section start and finish? What does success look like?How much does it cost ? In detail?
    Can we have detailed copies to Study? Or is it blank pages like Tony (Ia a man wiv a plan) Abbott’s plan?

  20. gerald

    I’ve been invited to the wedding of Jobson and Laura at the Liberal Party Tabernacle, haha.

  21. Matters Not

    Gerald, your real name is probably: (Mr, Mrs, or perhaps MS) Weaver Plan .

    Just out yourself.

  22. paul walter

    I think Laura Norder is a major threat to Jobson Groeth, as climate denialism and alternative energy tech has demonstrated.

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