“See this front page story on Labor’s leadership tensions?”

“Yep!”

“Well, I heard from a guy down at the pub that his brother-in-law knows somebody in Canberra who empties bins and he heard from another bin emptier that the guy who empties Kevin Rudd’s bin had a look at what was on one of the scrunched up bits of paper, and do you know what he saw?”

“No idea, mate!”

“There were numbers. So I can confirm this article about Kevin Rudd looking at the numbers is 100% correct.”

“Gees, you reckon that guy’s the ‘unnamed source’ quoted in the article?”

“Nah, he had a name. I think it was Barry, but I probably shouldn’t say that.”

“So there really is going to be a challenge to Gillard’s leadership this time.”

“What you mean, this time.”

“Well, they’ve been saying that Gillard won’t last the month since 2010.”

“Have they?”

“Yeah.”

“First time I heard anything was from the guy at the pub.”

“Rudd’s probably going to challenge her over this media thingy.”

“What media thingy?”

“Well, apparently the Government’s trying to shut down free speech by subjecting the media to some sort of regulation.”

“Probably to stop them publishing stories like the one about Rudd doing the numbers.”

“And also to hide the fact that Conroy’s related to Joseph Stalin.”

“Whose that?”

“He was a Russian dictator that killed his political opponents!”

“No, who’s Conroy?”

“He’ s the guy trying to stop free speech:”

“And how is he related to Stalin?”

“Don’t know exactly, but I heard someone in the ALP saying that relating Conroy and Stalin was just ridiculous. You know when they deny something that it has to be true.”

“Yeah, like when they say that the leader is safe. You know that they’ll be gone within the week. So how are they actually going to stop the press from publishing articles they don’t like?”

“They’re going to introduce some sort of standards thing that the press have to sign up to.”

“And if they don’t they’ll be taken out and shot?”

“Nah, they’ll lose some of their protections.”

“And then they’ll be shot.”

“Nah, they’re not going to shot at all.”

“Oh, so how is Conroy like Stalin?”

“Well, the stifling free speech thing. Like with Andrew Bolt.”

“Yeah, I remember that front page article by him where he said he wasn’t allowed to say anything ever again. And all because he’d suggested that some aborigines were pretending to be white.”

“No, what he said was that these Aborigines were pretending to be black, and they shouldn’t because they weren’t dark enough, and that they were doing this to get some of the enormous benefits that go with being an aborigine, such as getting an acknowledgement that they used to own the land before a lot of events. Anyway, the court decided that they were actually aborigines, and that Bolt wasn’t allowed to say they weren’t because that was incorrect.”

“That’s ridiculous. You mean, people can’t write things that aren’t true?”

“That’s right. My grandfather was a digger and he fought so that we’d have the right to say whatever we liked about any group of people whether it was true or not. That’s what freedom of speech means.”

“You’re grandfather must be turning in his grave.”

“Yeah … Well, he’s not actually dead, but he would be. He’s very upset about this Government and how they’re taking away his rights.I mean, he doesn’t mind that Gillard’s a woman, he just objects to her being prime minister. He says that if God had meant women to be in charge, he would have made them men.”

“Exactly, I mean, I’m not sexist, but I was expressing the same view the other day, and my daughter told me that I was wrong. I said that it’s a free country and I can say whatever I like. Then she told me I was stupid bastard. So I said if she was going to talk that way, she could get out of the house. I won’t have my free speech stifled like that!”

“Yeah, if I was in power, I’d make sure that those teachers and uni didn’t indoctrinate our kids.”

“How would you do that?”

“I’d make it illegal for them to comment on anything political!”

“I’d vote for you. Well, do you want another drink, or do you have to get going?”

“I have to get going. My radio program starts in a few minutes, and the producer gets upset if I can’t read the screen.”