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Scottie, It’s Time To Get Democracy From Under The Doona!

Just twelve months ago, I was thinking about what a challenge writing was going to be. I mean, I expected that we were going to have a Shorten Labor government and, while I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before I’d be able to apply my satiric style to them, I was sure it was going to be more of a challenge. Let’s be real. With the Coalition the satire practically writes itself.

Take, for example, Scottie telling us that it’s time to get out from under the doona and that we need to get things moving again while it’s still too dangerous to fully re-open Parliament…

Of course the danger in having a full session of Parliament has nothing to do with Covid-19; the danger is all those tricky questions people get asked in Question Time and Senate Estimates. There’s only so many times you can ‘reject the premise of the question” before someone actually says, “Well, I reject the premise of your rejection!” leading to a premise rejecting interchange reminiscent of Monty Python’s argument sketch.

The strange thing to me about politics is the stupidity of what we discuss.

Now I’m not holding myself up as someone outside the stupidity here. I’m not trying to suggest that somehow I’m above it all and it’s all your fault. I’m just saying that there’s something basically wrong with the way we discuss politics. Because the media is all about conflict, it means that when we have that dinner party and people start to disagree we’re all concerned that it’s going to end up like a discussion between a Trump supporter and a supporter of ISIS whereas the reality is that we all share more common values than the media would have us believe… even the Trump and the ISIS guys…

Actually, probably especially the Trump and ISIS guys…

But anyway, we have people popping up all over social media talking about 5G and complaining about the conspiracy of silence over Bill Gates determination to control the world, but we have almost nobody concerned about the legislation that Dutton is trying to slip through that would enable him to arrest Morrison and prevent his access to a lawyer because the lawyer keeps making it difficult to obtain a confession.

Ok, ok, I know this is Australia and that sort of thing would never be done even though the legislation allows it. I mean, a few years ago people were concerned that some of the security legislation could be used to intimidate journalists and that’s never happened…

Well, as far as we know it’s never happened. Some of it would be illegal to report, so we just have to trust people, content in the knowledge that no journalist has been charged yet and as far as that Annika Smethurst is concerned if you’ve got nothing to hide there’s no problem with the AFP going through your underwear drawers.

In order to write this, I decided that it might be interesting to re-read the Liberal Party’s “Real Solutions” booklet. I suspect that’s not available in most good bookstores but here’s a copy


Now what do you notice about all the people on the front cover? Apart from the obvious that they were all ministers in Abbott’s attempt to prevent us from being too smug about the USA electing Donald Trump.

That’s right. There’s not a single one of them left in the government. (That’s Warren Truss, not Eric Aidsandabetz, in case you were going to try and point that the latter is still haunting the Senate like the ghost of Christmas Past.)

It’s pretty interesting when you think about it. I mean, you’d expect a few to have moved on, but just two elections later and nobody who was considered senior enough to make the front cover is left.

Which makes me wonder to what extent, Scottie was able to pull it off last year because voters thought of him as a new government and didn’t associate him with the mess from Abbott and Turnbull. After all, you only have to look at the way the media is presenting him as a candidate for canonisation due to his handling of the Covid-19 crisis. It seems to be something along the lines of, “He hasn’t stuffed up like he did with the bushfires because, not only did he stay in the country this time, but he also changed his mind about going to the football. Clearly he’s learned and is now up there with people like Menzies, Gandhi, Jesus and Alexander the Great.”

Of course, I still think of the fable about the scorpion and the frog*

I mean how else can you explain someone who’s put everyone on government benefits now complaining and telling us people shouldn’t be on government benefits and we need to get out from under the doona? How else do you explain someone suggesting that we need to Improve productivity (read lower wages) because nothing stimulates demand like workers on less money? And how else do we explain that every time a new advisory body is formed we find it’s stacked with ex-Liberal MPs and fossil fuel executives regardless of whether they have any expertise in that area or not.

Actually did you notice the story that Covid-19 recovery guy, Nev Power, is talking up a pipeline to take gas from WA to the eastern states. Some have suggested that because Nev is a director of Stryke Energy there appears to be a conflict of interest but as the Liberals frequently tell us, just because someone will benefit from the advice they give the government doesn’t mean there’s a conflict. Quite the opposite!

Yes, we can expect Saint Scottie of Marketing to soon be telling us that we’ve had our fine and it’s time to balance the budget again. We will do this by a combination of cutting services and government payments, while giving businesses big tax cuts. Why would cut taxes when we’re trying to make the budget balance and there’s no evidence that it’ll lead to more jobs?

Well, as the scorpion told the frog, “It’s my nature!”

* ”A scorpion asks a frog to carry him over a river. The frog is afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, both would sink and the scorpion would drown. The frog then agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When asked why, the scorpion points out that this is its nature.”

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  1. Phil Pryor

    Never ever trust a hollow, defective, self inflating fantasy worshipper, a superstitious fool who lives in a sick fraud world that never existed. The P M, a Pathetic Moron, creates rules and attitudes, to behave as suits one who has been saved, blessed, anointed, enpowered, forgiven, roaring ot do the same old shit again as if this were the only script on earth.., and the other seven and threequarter billion can go and get STUFFED. Swollen egofixated shitheads cannot be beaten easily, but must be fought, as with Adolf and Benito. The nation deserves far better than the machinations and self seduction of a shitskull who could not lie well enough in the advertising game, and, slinked away from facing up to the truth of his mediocrity and self deception. Our nation and its environment depend on thwarting this turd and the odious team of fellow greedites, grubs, grots, gougers, ganglia and B Joyce.

  2. New England Cocky

    The head pic shows politicians who correctly should be tried for treason against the best interests of Australian voters. Conspiring to elect, and then electing Rabbott was a crime against humanity and certainly against the best interests of Australian voters. Now what could we have done with FTTP Internet during the pandemic?? Thank you Muddles Turdball, another self-serving graduate from the Billy MacMahon School for Inept Prim Monsters.

    Where are they now, these denizens of COALition history? Which corporations have swept them up to the corporate bosom as thanks for services rendered while a politician. But there is no legislation to prevent these little retirement deals, is there?

  3. Florence

    Labor usually comes back to power when all the coalitions chickens are coming home to roost. Leaving Labor to clean up their mess. This time Labor was lucky. The only way this government can win next time is to call an election, even if one house, as Menzies did as quickly as they can.

  4. Aortic

    A pictorial portrayal of pusillanimous ponces who sucked the public purse dry without an effective policy initiative between them. All safely ensconced in sinecures no doubt reflecting on their glowing record whilst in power. Hockey’s key statement was the unsightliness of the wind producers of electricity near Canberra and who could ever forget the Abbott climate change crap comment. Collective cornucopia of clowns fit only for the rubbish bin of history.

  5. wam

    The new government argument was the clincher for turnbull after the disaster of the rabbott and billy without attacking the rabbott on debt and waste and inept emissions policies and FTAs . He did stir the medicare and was close to winning.
    The libs were ready for billy with another new boy but he was gone for all money till the miracle.. He fell into office and was less adept than his inept predecessors.

    Another miracle, billy and labor would have been perfect for covid19 but smirko’s adequate approach to a labor solution has left albo
    emasculated but his balled were tightly bound since NO NO NO.

    “while I was sure that it would only be a matter of time before I’d be able to apply my satiric style to them, I was sure it was going to be more of a challenge.”
    Seems to me, rossleigh, that you should shut out:
    smirko and write about lalbo
    frydenberg and go for jim chalmers
    dutton and go for keneally
    forget tehan and go for plibersek
    cash no don’t let her vanish so go for o’connor and cash
    There is plenty to practice on
    only joking
    my page no longer gets any of those but husic pops up begging for a ‘share’, billy on the closure of a centrelink office with ’24 hours notice’ and wong occasionally.;

  6. Henry Rodrigues

    These numbskulls who claim to be in charge, handing out vast sums of money ( all borrowed and which will need to repaid, somehow), are feeling good about ‘saving’ the nation from a fate far worse that the corona virus, never mind criticizing Labor when it did the same thing during the GFC, except that now that crinkled old bastard Murdoch is running interference for them and suddenly they’re financial geniuses. Scummo who couldn’t be trusted by his boss Turdball, to draw up a budget, is now the saviour of the nation.What a load of crap.

  7. Mrs Wobbly

    Saviour SCUMMO and his apostles in the broad church LNP FASCISM party of ERWNJ, who purportedly are chosen by a fictitious god has helped to destroy Australia’s democracy, with Master Murdoch’s propaganda media saturation, completely dumbing down the MAJORITY of his viewers, who VOTE and believe what they are getting SERVED up as the TRUTH, SADLY not able to cognitively think, for their own good. So SCUMMO’S LNP FASCISM party, will win the next election because the majority of OLDER Australians believe in a fictional character, like him. LNP FASCIST in our parliament plays a RUTHLESS game called FASCISM, which LABOR have VOTED YOUR RIGHTS AWAY, for self interest, as well when they VOTED with the LNP FASCISM party of Liars. So Australians Get ready for a “ONE PARTY STATE” as the MAJORITY of Australians are leading the country down this path, with their own MISGUIDED ignorance, bias and fears that LNP’s FASCISM Party policy’s have installed Into Master Murdoch’s PROPAGANDA media as required. When it comes to Labor being the great saviour for our democracy, and taking back government, it’s NOT happening until they start playing REAL politics in Australia and start treating LNP FASCISM party as EXTREMISTS and giving the same TREATMENTS back Just as RUTHLESS, as the LNP FASCISM government‘s have DONE and are still doing to LABOR, time and time again, at what ever the cost, LIES, CORRUPTION, CHARACTER ASSIGNATION, “OPERATIONAL MATTERS“, to cover up of REAL TRUTHS from the Australian people. FED PROPAGANDA with the saturation Help of MASTERS MURDOCH’S media in this country, all for the CAUSE. . Many times have LABOUR politicians and THE INDEPENDENT’S have voted with the LNP FASCIST LIARS party in favour of PROFITS , DONOR’S cash and big BUSINESS PROFIT’S over the interest of Australia or its people, tax free. SADLY the people who know they are being SCREWED are in the MINORITY of the Australian people. Welcome the the new NORMAL In Australia called FASCISM. DEMOCRACY in Australia is DEAD ITS ’s time for a REVOLUTION Thinking AUSTRALIANS.

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