Scott Morrison’s Successful Year!

Scott Morrison has had a really successful year! I know this, and not just because the media keep telling me what a great year he’s had.

Compare his year with Peter Dutton who, at the start of the year, wanted Border Force to be the unquestioned ministry in charge of everything, had to announce that they had nothing to do with keeping our borders safe when it came to quarantine. Or indeed anything that didn’t involve leaky boats.

Or compare it with Alan Tudge who got caught with his proverbial pants down and ended the year being given the Education Ministry as punishment. (Just before the lawyers get consulted, I’m not talking about Tudge’s personal life here. I’m referring to the way his conduct was described as “criminal” by a judge, which must have reminded some people of when he, Michael Sukkar and Greg Hunt all had to apologise for their comments, so that they weren’t found guilty of contempt of court.) While some suggested that Tudge should have lost his position on the front bench for any number of reasons, nothing he did was a hanging offence.

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard that expression before and guess it could explain why no Coalition ministers ever lose their portfolio when it’s established that their actions were the result of incompetence or corruption. “Minister Miscreant did overlook his purchase of property in the area and failed to declare his conflict of interest before overseeing a change that resulted in a large windfall but he has since updated his assets appropriately and this certainly not a hanging offence.” Given that – in Australia – there is no capital punishment, even for murder, then nothing actually IS a hanging offence, so obviously if there are no hanging offences, then there is no crime or misdemeanor for which a minister could be regarded as having gone too far.

Yes, the expression “not a hanging offence” is silly but not as silly as the phrase “gold standard”. When Scott Morrison said that he wasn’t worried about the recent COVID-19 outbreak in New South Wales because they were the “gold standard”, I worried that our PM had no Understanding of what the term gold standard means. Simply, it’s a monetary system where a country’s currency or paper money has a value directly linked to gold. The USA abandoned it under Nixon and, in 2020, no country uses it. So was Morrison suggesting that NSW approach to the virus was something out-of-date and obsolete or was he suggesting that it was backed by gold?

Either way, one has to conclude that he thinks that Gladys has had the same sort of great year that he’s had. To recap briefly on why it’s been such a great year for ScoMo:

• He began the year in trouble, not merely for going off to Hawaii while the nations burned, but for having his office lie about it.
• HIs explanation of not being the one to hold a hose, led to some ribald comments and lots of mocking.
• He attempted a reset with lots of photos of maps and firefighters, where he was pointing in a way that suggested he had something to contribute, leading to various media outlets telling us that he’d learned his lesson.
• His attempt to shake the hands of unwilling people undercut his attempt at empathy, leading to suggestions that his empathy coach may, in fact, have been Andrew Bolt.
• With the outbreak of COVID-19 in Australia, he got to show his true leadership by telling us that there was nothing to worry about and that he was going to the football, but because of potential backlash, he changed his mind.
• He told us that schools were safe just before a number of schools were shut down because of the outbreaks of the virus.
• The auditor-general released a scathing report about how taxpayer funds were used in the lead-up to the previous election prompting the phrase “sports rorts” to be used everywhere except for Parliament where the term was deemed unacceptable.
• He left various people out of JobKeeper such as university staff
• He told us that we couldn’t stay under the doona forever.
• He showed that even though Australia was a small nation who couldn’t possibly take the lead or even influence any action on climate change, we could be the world leader when it came to demanding an inquiry into China and the Coronavirus.
• His government failed to deliver the promise surplus in the May budget, but they did at least not have a deficit because they announced that there was really no point to doing a budget when they had no idea what was going on.
• He announced a big package for the Arts which we later discovered wouldn’t be delivered until they were back up and running and no longer needed money as desperately.
• He handled the escalating trade problem with China by telling them that they were wrong about everything.
• China has now stopped taking our coal as well as barley, wine and other imports.
• It was discovered that very little money had been spent on bushfire relief.
• Various ministers showed themselves to be corrupt, incompetent or both.
• Robodebt was settled, but the government still insisted they’d done nothing wrong every through they paid out over a billion dollars.
• His government delivered the largest deficit in our history and went deeper into debt than all the previous federal governments combined which people agreed was necessary because of the pandemic.
• His government announced that they wouldn’t be worrying about budget repair until unemployment was back down to appropriate levels.
• Some of his photoshoots are so obviously staged that it’s embarrassing, but in the most recent ones, the idea that standing by oneself in the country with your hands in your pockets seems to suggest that one is wanting to be a model for R.M Williams and not that one is a man of the people who belongs in the bush.
• There are so many more things to add to this list that I could keep going for an hour and someone is bound to write one I forget in the comments that I’m just going to say, “and the rest”.

So, all things considered, Morrison has had a great year. In spite of doing things that would have had the media calling for rioting in the streets, he has been congratulated, praised and has a high approval rating in the polls. Yes, the fact that he’s made just about every mistake in the book and it’s only been the premiers and the National Cabinet that’s saved him from himself. he’s still PM.

Anybody who’s managed to demonstrate such incompetence, with so many missteps and such a lack of empathy and not only keep their job, but actually have the media talk about them having a great year, has certainly had a great year…