The AIM Network

Scott Morrison’s Activity OR Why Wasn’t The Energiser Bunny On The Ballot Paper?

“I was simply trying to encourage [Mr Shorten] to tell the truth and to look me in the eye”.

“He couldn’t do that either. He scurried away,” Mr Morrison said.

“Wisecracks and stunts isn’t how you run a country. I’m happy for Bill Shorten to put on a cabaret performance in a debate but that’s not how you run a country and that’s not what Australians want to see.”

We’ve been treated to many tales of how ScoMo has energised the campaign. We’ve been told that he’s been busy going from place to place bowling cricket balls, shearing sheep, playing tennis and dribbling the odd soccer and basketball. However, it seems from his comments about Bill Shorten that a cabaret performance is not relevant when it comes to running the country. Scott’s capacity to dribble does seem to have some relevance according to the media.

Yes, both Scottie and the media keep telling us that Bill Shorten has been getting caught up with tricky questions about policy. Bill is required to talk about his own policies rather than performing gymnastic backflips, milking a giraffe or whatever physical activity that Morrison had performed. What energy from the PM! Wow, this is impressive and exactly the sort of thing that should determine who runs the country.

Ignoring all this, I was confused by an article which suggested all these early voters were somehow a threat to democracy. Apparently, we should wait and hear the finer points of policy that may be released in the final two weeks before we go to the polls… Or rather before we’re meant to go to the polls. Some people are ignoring what the writer defined as the proper way to vote: Listen to everything the leaders say in the two weeks before the election date, check to see that they don’t make some slip of the tongue, judge the energy with which they run around promising things which are normally state responsibilities in marginal electorates and completely ignore all the history of the previous performance.

In this particular election, that would mean ignoring the promise of stability by Tony Abbott in 2013 only to beat Labor by having, not just three PMs, but three different deputy PMs as well, the stuff-ups in the NDIS, the NBN and energy policy, the various projects that spent millions without going to tender, the large number of Liberals deserting the sinking ship, the refusal of the Coalition to admit that there’s a problem with endorsing female MPs, the refusal of the Right wing rump to compromise when it comes to just about anything causing policy inertia and… Well, the list is pretty long, but you can see why some people may be saying do I really need to wait and see if Scott Morrison manages to convince me that if they’re re-elected we’ll all be given an extra slice of cake and that wages will start to grow again thanks to employers being so grateful for a Coalition government that they decide that they’re profits are large enough and they’ll give workers the 3.25% predicted in the Budget?

They better or else the promised Budget surplus may just be a ridiculous idea floated by the Liberals to get themselves elected but they try to ignore later on…

And speaking of Tony Abbott, did you catch his comments to the student protesters about climate change? Apart from telling them that he had a responsibility to tell them the truth, not just agree with them – which I think we’ll all agree is a welcome change from Tony – Mr Abbott proclaimed “the earth has survived many things”.

Yes, that’s true. I’m sure the earth will survive climate change. It’s mankind I’m not so sure about. Still, we can be just as blasé about that destructive species as we are about various others.

Mr Abbott went on to announce that he didn’t think that the environmental catastrophe predicted by scientists would happen. He didn’t seem to elaborate on reasons for this, but it’s also worth remembering he predicted a Budget surplus once he was elected. He did add: “I’m not saying that there isn’t going to be some time in the future when, for whatever reason, things come to an end, but I don’t believe that modest increases of atmospheric carbon dioxide concentrations over the next few decades are bound to bring about the kind of environmental catastrophe that you seem to fear.”

Well, that’s good to know. It reminds me of the doctors in the 1960s telling us that smoking was good for our health. Why? Who knows, but they believed it.

Anyway, in two weeks the election will be over and we’ll no longer have those silly articles telling us how close things are, how the leaders’ debate didn’t produce a clear winner and how a change in methods of calculations gave the Liberals an extra point in the two-party preferred voting.

The simple truth is that Liberals are starting from a position of minority in terms of seats and they have to not only win seats, but stop Labor from winning in seats where it’s generally conceded that they will. I’m not suggesting that this can’t happen. I’m simply suggesting that it’s even less likely than the Liberals running an ad based on the old energiser bunny commercial where they show Scott Morrison racing to the finish line while Shorten conks out…

Actually, that may happen now that I’ve put it out there. Of course, it would run the risk of people suddenly demanding to know why the bunny wasn’t on the ballot paper. No, I don’t mean Peter Dutton, the bunny who paved the way for Morrison to become PM. No, not Turnbull either. You know, the one that used to be in that commercial.

Never mind…

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