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Plan B

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Scott Morrison – The Next Line And A Generation In The Sand…

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the phrases, “the next generation of the Liberal Party” and “line in the sand”, I may not have enough to retire, but I’d certainly have enough to buy a decent set of noise-cancelling headphones.

Of course, as Malcolm mansplained a few days ago, politics is the art of the possible. It’s also the art of framing things so that you disguise the forest by getting people to look at the leaves and not notice all the felled trees.

So, it’s a whole new generation. We’ve moved from the old Turnbull and Julie Bishop to the young Morrison and Josh Frydenberg and, hey presto, you’ve got a whole new generation. Immediately the whole Liberal Party has entered a “new generation” because with the new PM, we’ll have an enormous range of more up-to-date policies, reflected by his youthful outlook on such things as marriage equality and climate change. Ok, well, maybe not, but hey, he and Josh are both younger, so that makes the average age of the leadership team younger and that’s what a “new generation” means, isn’t it? I mean, we don’t have to go changing policies or anything.

Whatever, it’s time to draw a line in the sand. I know this because it seems to be the new line from just about any Liberals I’ve heard interviewed in the past few days. While I’d like an interviewer to actually point out that sands are known for shifting and that perhaps a line in the wet cement might actually have a chance of still being there next week, I do agree, we need to “look to the future” and “move forward” and “put the events of last week behind us”… And I didn’t even get the Liberal’s talking points for this week!

It’s time to forget the past and get on with the business of governing for all Australians so that they understand that the Liberals are on their side. As part of this philosophy, Scottie has appointed Barnaby Joyce as a special envoy for the drought, and offered Tony Abbott a role as a special envoy for indigenous affairs. For those of you wondering what a “special envoy” is, it’s basically an appointment made for a specific and expressly stated purpose, such as giving former leaders something to do. In the case of Joyce, his role will be to go around having a beer in drought affected areas and reassuring all those in marginal seats that the government is on their side and that the drought has nothing to do with climate change. In the case of Abbott, should he accept the role, his role will be to go to remote communities and stay there. Not all the time, of course. Only when Parliament is sitting or when there’s an election campaign.

So far Tony hasn’t accepted the role and has expressed concern that it’s not a real role and he’d just be given a title without actually doing anything constructive. According to Tony, we’ve just had a Prime Minister like that and we all know how that ended.

Anyway, I think it’s time that we all got behind this forward looking government and let them tell us how effective they’ve been in keeping unemployment at the same rate, getting the Budget back into credit in a few years time and putting downward pressure on energy prices thanks to things like suggesting that we have National Energy Guarantee which asks private companies to guarantee energy and keep prices as low as they can.

The NEG did get through, didn’t it? I mean with all the brouhaha of the past week, I sort of stopped paying attention so I don’t know where it ended up…

Oh, apparently so did the Liberal Party.

Anyway, Scott Morrison told us in his first speech: “We’re on your side”, and I believe him even though earlier in the week when he was asked if he had any leadership ambitions, he put his arm around Malcolm and said: “This is my leader and I’m ambitious for him.”

After all, how was he to know that he’d stand as leader just a couple of days later. How on earth would he have been expected to know what he was planning.


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  1. Kronomex

    And now it appears the “I’m the new PM and must show off” overseas bug is biting him. Looks like he’s heading off to Indonesia later this week to talk about another LNP must-have free trade agreement. It’s nice to know how much he cares about the ordinary Australian.

  2. Keitha Granville

    I love it ! You have managed to get just about every useless meaningless phrase constantly uttered by pollies into one piece – brilliant. Have you considered offering yourself as a speech writer for them ? You already have all the words you’ll need.

  3. king1394

    A new generation of the Liberal party sounds like a pack of Young Liberals to me: all ideology, and all idiots

  4. Phil

    Thanks Rossleigh – always a good read when you skewer the pompous asses.

    Morrison is soiled goods, marked down and unsalable.

    His ‘new’ cabinet is covered in the same coal dust that asphyxiated the Turnbull cabinet.

    If ever Australia needed an election to clean out the halls, offices and back rooms of parliament, that time is now.

  5. paul walter

    They just might have given themselves a nasty shock with the antics of last week and realised an election is eventually due.

    I think they’ll do contrite for a while.

  6. John O'Callaghan

    Yea what’s happened to their vote saving innovative future NEG policy? what a load of bullshit that was,just another 3 word slogan to con the punters into believing they actually had a policy that worked that they believed in!

  7. helvtyni

    It’s a pity, the kids of today don’t read anymore, mums don’t carry books in their handbags like I used to do ; the babies in the prams now have their own phones…

  8. New England Cocky

    Now Rossleigh, Enid Blyton would not be amused by your linking one of her fine children’s stories with the infantile behaviour we have just witnessed from the Liarbral National$ misgovernment.

    Why, next you will be saying that Baryard Joke is teetotal and the National$ famous “Family values” are anything else but adultery, racism and MDB water theft.

  9. Geoff Andrews

    You forgot to mention, “moving forward” and (my favourite), “getting on with the job”;
    An old Goon Show joke also seems appropriate: “I vote that we give Scotty our full support … and that he wear it at all times.”

  10. Wun Farlung

    I gave the grubs a week before they started “Labor’s fault”ing I just saw Dutton being asked about the fishing boat on the bricks off the Daintree and he said that he had “warned Labor about the language they use”. A variation on the theme.
    Scummo says it’s a fishing boat so it doesn’t count.

  11. Rossleigh

    Thanks, Geoff, I did leave out “getting on with the job”, but in the middle of paragraph four, I did say “move forward”:

    While I’d like an interviewer to actually point out that sands are known for shifting and that perhaps a line in the wet cement might actually have a chance of still being there next week, I do agree, we need to “look to the future” and “move forward” and “put the events of last week behind us”… <

    However, at the end of the day, it’s all about jobs and growth and stopping Labor’s wasteful spending. I mean, imagine how much more than $400,000,000 the Great Barrier Reef Foundation would have been given if Labor had been in office!

  12. Rusty

    Surely each night as Scomo prepares to bed down in his decent, morally correct, All Aussie family bloke home like youse kindly forgiving voters, he prays for the welfare of all his ordinary lessers. The pleb suckers who should know he’s “on their side” (- guffaw, shriek). Play it again Sam! Myself, I can only pray to my own Pentagramstal God of Infinite Mercy and Justice that those two latter items will still be delivered to Australia next year. Mercy because we are so gut-sick from exposure to the gross, heartless creeps who run the Liberal Farty, and justice because they will never give it to anyone and must be forced out by an election that smashes their power to bits. Unfortunately in this mortally ill democracy the masses are too oft easily bought off by the smoke-and-mirrors luring of a tax cut or an indigenous people’s envoy (Tony of Assisi!) or some vile, money-filled yet obvious gimcrackery that promises to assuage the voters’ anger in marginal electorates. And isn’t that what matters really in nasty Oz politics? Not mercy, truth, justice or, Heaven forbid, the COMMONwealth – only grabbing at, and snaffling very teetery electorates with smelly, oily desperation. From both the Libshit and Laberal Parties. So very sad a future awaits Australia methinks.

  13. MöbiusEcko

    Morrison is running a one policy strategy that is focusing on the drought. He’s now stated it will be their major platform going into the next election. What number major Liberal platform is that now, 9 or 10.

    The concentration solely on the drought has nothing to do with looking after the bush and their communities as Morrison keeps harping on about, a little too Sisyphean methinks, but is all about detracting from the previous policy failures and lack of any other policies. Look over here, “drought”, not over there, ” “.

  14. may hem

    my favourite is “moving forward”, or as julia gillard said, “mervin ford”.

    took us quite a while to work out what she was actually saying after wondering who mervin ford was.

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