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Scott Morrison: Ask The Audience? No, He Chose To Phone A Friend.

There’s been a bit of media attention about Scott Morrison phoning the NSW Police Commissioner, Mick Fuller. Let’s escape the Canberra bubble for a moment and concentrate on the facts.

  1. There’s nothing wrong the PM ringing the police commissioner because he needed to know about the investigation into Angus Taylor.
  2. There was nothing inappropriate about the conversation because the Police Commissioner didn’t tell him anything that wasn’t in the press release.
  3. The PM couldn’t have simply read the press release because he’s a busy man and only has time to do things like take selfies and run water to the various sporting teams that need it.
  4. There has been a scurrilous accusation that Morrison was a neighbour of Fuller’s who used to take in his bins. Fuller assured everyone today that he didn’t have a personal relationship with Scott Morrison. From this I infer that, as a neighbour, Morrison was a snooty, unfriendly bastard who never spoke to anyone.
  5. The person who made the accusation about the bins was, in fact, Fuller himself in a 2018 2GB interview… but he wasn’t lying; it was just a joke, which some people took seriously simply because it wasn’t funny.
  6. Many of the Liberals’ election promises can similarly be considered a joke that some people took seriously.

Now that all that’s been cleared up, I’d like to tell you that I have an exclusive. Someone has sent me a transcript of the PM’s call to his non-mate, Mick Fuller. I hesitated before releasing it because of the recent AFP raids on journalists. However, I decided that the public had a right to know, even if the letter is complete fabrication like the one Fuller made to 2GB about Morrison… That’s the one about Scott taking in his bins. I wouldn’t dream of suggesting that he’s lying about anything, even though he’s on record as saying something that he acknowledges is totally untrue. Anyway, I’ve hidden naked photos of myself in my underwear drawer, so if the AFP want to raid it, the horror may make them think twice before they do it to anyone else. There’s only so much PTSD a person can take…


“Hello, it’s Scott Morrison.”

“Sorry, who?”

“Scomo. You know, your PM.”

“Oh, that’s right the person who used to not take in my bins and who I don’t have a personal relationship with.”

“Yes, I guess you don’t have my number which is why you didn’t answer any of my three previous calls.”

“That’s right. I thought you were one of those annoying telemarketers.”

“No, no. I’m the Prime Minister… So about this Angus Taylor investigation, what’s going on?”

“Well, I can’t tell you anything about from what’s on public record but there’s no need to stand him down because we’re only investigating because we have a complaint.”

“Was that the one from Mark Dreyfus?”

“Exactly. Anyway we haven’t found any evidence yet and we want to make this investigation quick so there’s no likelihood that we will find any.”

“That’s good to know. So you’d say that Angus is completely in the clear and he doesn’t need to stand down?”

“Well, not until the investigation is completed because if some evidence turns up things would change.”

“That’s not likely to happen because from what I understand all the evidence was destroyed.”

“Ok, no problem then. So, is that all?”

“Yes, thanks.”

“My pleasure… Who did you say you were again?”

“Scott Morrison. We used to live in the same street.”

“I have no memory of that, bringing in your bins or your wife, Jen.”

“Excellent. You’re a wonderful quiet Australian.”

Like I said, I don’t know if this is a verbatim transcript but, hey, isn’t it the business of the media to report all rumours, leaks and unverifiable quotes from people who may or may not be real?


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  1. Terence Mills

    The media in the form of the Daily Telegraph were the ones who reported the leaked, false information about Sydney City Council supplied by Angus Taylor and it was the Daily Telegraph who breached one of the golden rules of journalism : check and verify your sources and then check again.

    Spreading false an misleading information both by a minister and a media outlet is the real problem here.

    Next we have to find out who provided the minister with the false information and that is the interesting part of this fiasco.

    The fact that the PM sought to breach the convention of the Separation of Powers merely points to him being either ignorant or arrogant.

  2. GiftoftheGab

    I laughed and snorted at the phone a friend line that I came straight to comments. Hilarious. Yes I’m going back to read the article.

  3. Kaye Lee

    Fuller said on camera, “To be honest with you, I actually don’t feel as though the allegations themselves are serious”. He described it as “a great diverter of my time”. Could I suggest, press conferences take up a shitload more of this guy’s time than they should. As apparently does fielding calls from politicians who he says ring him all the time.

    So alleged forgery and lying for political purposes is not serious but the Peter Slipper pursuit was? Morrisson dismisses it because the investigation is just because Dreyfuss complained. As far as I am aware, no-one actually fessed up to who referred Slipper to the AFP though everyone is looking at you George Brandis.

    What happened to the “cannot comment on current investigations” line?

    Why did Scott have to ring the police commissioner when he could have turned to the guy next to him and said hey Angus, just tell us who gave you the document?

  4. Rossleigh

    I think the ABC stole the bit about phoning a friend for their news but I did my first draft in my head this morning before the alarm…

  5. Socrates.

    If you never nailed one before, you sure nailed one this time.

    Count my blessing including AIM and Rossleigh.

    So sick of liars today.

  6. Phil Pryor

    The current P M, a Prime Masturbator and serial defective superstitionist self inflating bowel, is totally untrustworthy, for his demeanour is based on righteous fiction, fantasy filth, self seducing righteousness. He wakes to repeat to himself the doctrine of egocentric me-ism. This knob polishing self focus is publically horrible, self defeating for a nation, and just a rotten id bound dickhead in a position above his status. We should not have to see this shit every day, a loudmouthed inward looking idiot yabbering lies by the million. It STINKS,.

  7. Peter F

    Rossleigh, the sad thing is that you have so many opportunities to write your great creations.

  8. One foot In The Grave

    The only thing here to worry about, is the country is in good hands, nothing to see here, don’t you worry about that.The reality is, this fcking shyster thinks he can do or say anything he pleases,because he, and he alone has the key to all wisdom and is exempt from any norms.Australia has been reduced to a pile of shit under this self serving cockhead,and it looks like getting worse.Hello darkness, my old friend.

  9. Matters Not

    There will have to be a metaphorical fall guy and soon. That a person(s) is not yet identified suggests he/she/they is proving very difficult – perhaps in possession of dates, times, documents, witnesses, recordings, etc and may even have future political ambitions. No doubt Mr A Taylor is seeking urgent advice from Ms M Cash who’s been down that path of recent times.

    Too big a political scalp to jettison – particularly at this time. Nevertheless, would be a great Christmas present for Albo.

  10. Glenn Barry

    PM is an acronym for pervertedly mythomaniacal

  11. Socrates.

    All comments, inc MN.

  12. Matters Not

    Fuller, the Police Commissioner advocates a little bit of fear as a legitimate police tactic but to date he’s limited his sights to young people. Methinks, Angus has more than a little bit of fear at this moment in time.

  13. Kaye Lee

    Sometime in the next two days, Friday afternoon on past form, the quarterly emissions data to the end of June has to be released. One would think if it was good news, Taylor would be releasing it now to divert attention. The fact that he is not makes me assume it will show we are still above 2000 emissions levels.

  14. Matters Not

    KL, seems to me that Taylor’s there to make some really serious money and in the shortest possible time. Like yesterday. Over-reach was always on the cards. He, like Morrison, believes they are dealing with absolute mugs. Further, even if serious questions are asked then it’s perfectly acceptable to just shrug, turn and then walk away. It’s all too easy. And usually it is.

    While Labor might dislike him, his real enemies sit behind always ready And with sharp knives – ever willing to feast on the spoils his departure would bring.

  15. johno

    Gee, can’t wait to see how oz is faring with emissions. Fess up Angus, on both accounts.

  16. whatever

    If I remember correctly, Mick Fuller announced a “Law & Order” crackdown on the Northern Beaches just as Tony Abbott was campaigning to hold on to the seat of Warringah, which he lost to Independent Steggall.

  17. Kaye Lee

    I don’t get why this is so hard. Why doesn’t the PM just ask Taylor where he got the document? If he says I downloaded it from the City of Sydney website, the response should be that is a lie, you’re gone. Or he could tell who gave it to him and sack that person. Why take up police resources to make a Minister answer a simple question?

  18. wam

    I hope albo can see how desperate the morning shows are for scuttlebut and he should be getting us to laugh at this inept mob. Pose the questions always spiced with a couple of their current and past cash splash give aways. Go albo be a quiet Aussie critic and let idiots like silly Sam and drippy Deb ask the questions.

  19. Florence Howarth

    I gain the impression Fuller doesn’t consider the PM a friend.

  20. Kaye Lee

    Josh Frydenberg said “But the substance of these inquiries is based on the allegations of the Labor Party, and we know the tricks of the Labor Party.”

    No it isn’t you moron. It’s based on the use of a forged document by your Minister, given to the press to attack a political rival, and his subsequent refusal to disclose where the document came from.

    When Taylor was busted for trying to get Josh Frydenberg to change endangered species status on grass his brother had illegally poisoned, Taylor said “I make absolutely no apologies for standing up for farmers in my region. That includes me and other family members.”

    How many times do these guys start a sentence with “We make no apology for….”? It must be something about their privileged upbringing and/or their gender that seems to make it utterly impossible for them to ever admit they stuffed up.

    Everyone makes mistakes. The measure of a person is how they deal with them.

  21. Matters Not

    A lazy, long lunch to recommend. Slow roasted Black Angus on the bone topped with lashings of traditional Keating sauce accompanied by a 2010 Penfolds Grange – (a coiled reticence to the bouquet, skirting black plum, liquorice and dark chocolate, opening into breathtaking violet fragrance. ) Turnbull’s shout.

  22. Vikingduk

    From Shane Dowling : NSW police refuse to deny scummo interfered in the investigation of Brian Houston. See Kangaroo Court of Australia for the yarn. Seems glorious leader may have form in this area. To be expected, I suppose, given the liar from the shire has such an inflated sense of being, shithouse judgment, but, nonetheless, for this narcissistic waste of space, believes himself to be the the chosen one, holding complete authority over us lesser mortals.

    Meanwhile, global warming gallops closer to the tipping point, an unobstructed canter towards the constant feedback loop, where the planet will stabilise around 5 deg. higher. Welcome to the new normal. Bullshit is paramount, keep our attention diverted from the really important stuff, like what the fck can we do now, right fcking now, to give us a chance. As far as I can tell, the planet don’t need us parasites to survive and the only way we will have a chance is to clean up our act and demand the arseholes in charge take positive action now.

  23. johno

    MN, is there a vego option ?

  24. Matters Not

    johno – yes it can be served with a Spud but no Greens allowed – even in the side salad which has to be Taylor made.

  25. johno

    MN – Nice

  26. Kaye Lee

    There’s a friedeggburger and a beetroot salad along with the Angus burger on the menu – #grassgate #watergate .

    Manus manum lavat

  27. johno

    I hope there are Liberal serves of our National entree, smashed avocado on toast.

  28. RomeoCharlie29

    I can’t help thinking that the discredited Telegraph, with egg on the face over running bullshit, actually missed a real news story. Imagine where they could have gone if they had actually asked Moore about the figures, before publishing and found out they had been lied to by a Fed minister? Now that would surely have been a better story but, as usual, the rag is happy to be a bumboy for the LNP, even if it means further trashing their reputation. Oh, that’s right, they don’t have a reputation, except as the bum boy previously referred to.

    Great story, Rossleigh

  29. Andrea Weymouth

    I am beginning to suspect that Godwin Grech may
    still be in the building ????!

  30. Ross Barrell


    “Next we have to find out who provided the minister with the false information and that is the interesting part of this fiasco.”

    Hmmm… I bet it was a Labor party insider who slipped the altered document to Taylor’s department just to see if Taylor could be duped into doing something stupid. Like use the altered document to attack the Lord Mayor of Sydney without checking to see if it was factual. And that means, of course, when all is done and dusted, it will all be Labor’s fault!

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