Pyne Tells Us That The Government Likes Wasting Money; Downer Tells Us That He Doesn’t Spread Hate

Sometime last night after it became clear that the Government wasn’t going to win any of the seats, Christopher “The Fixer” Pyne began telling us that it was only to be expected.

Governments never have swings toward them in by-elections, apparently. Why, there hasn’t been an occasion since 1920 of anyone doing that! Really, Labor shouldn’t be getting carried away with this. It wasn’t a referendum on anything, let alone a judgement on Malcolm Turnbull. No, of course, there’s no need to abandon the tax cuts. It wasn’t really a vote on issues. Or personalities. No, it has absolutely no implications for the next election. That will be fought on things whereas this was all about other things. Or nothing…

Again this morning, Pyne was running a similar line. This was in line with historic swings in by-elections, and as for Georgina Downer, why it was a great result. She got 39%, and if she can just boost that up to 45% at the next general election, she’ll have a great chance of winning…

Of course, one could point out that if she could just boost it up to 55% then she’s a shoe-in, however that ignores reality. It should be pretty easy for her to get that seven percent once people realise that she’s a DOWNER.

Oh, just to make it clear here. By suggesting Georgina is a “Downer”, I am referring to her place in the Adelaide Hills, and not suggesting that she’s rather depressing, but, hey, have it your own way, people.

Anyway, the Downers are apparently nation-builders. That’s what her father, the highly esteemed wearer of fishnet stockings told us in his summary of the election. Not only that but he wrote on social media that the Sharkie supporters had brought hate to the Adelaide Hills.

Bastards! The Downers bring only love and nation-building. It’s those other people who disagree with us that prevent consensus. Of course, as he put it, “They must be new arrivals”!

Before you jump the gun and accuse him of being anti-immigrant, it’s worth stopping to consider that he probably just means new arrivals to the Adelaide Hills, not to the country. There’s a certain type of person who lives there and some of those new arrivals don’t understand that there’s a certain expectation on how one behaves. One should speak correctly, use the correct knife and fork and vote Downer… I mean, Liberal.

Notwithstanding the absolutely spiffing result in the Adelaide Hills, where Georgina received a swing of over 30% to her, the other results had some commentators suggesting that it was a poor result for Turnbull. (That’s to her personally, not to the Liberals. There was no Downer at the previous election so any votes she received can be considered a swing to her!)

But how could it be considered anything but a ringing endorsement of Turnbull’s tax cuts? I mean, according to Christopher Pyne, to have won either of these other electorates would have been a miracle, which begs the question:

Why did the government waste so much money?

Now I could go off on an economic tangent and suggest that maybe it’s part of their trickle-down philosophy. High Court cases and by-elections are great for jobs and growth. But given they haven’t mentioned this as an idea, I’m inclined to think that they must just like spending money for the sake of it.

I mean, they caused these by-elections by questioning their opponents’ eligibility in the High Court – a costly exercise. Then there’s the cost of the by-elections themselves. Of course, the various campaign costs of the parties wouldn’t be public expenditure. And I’m sure that none of the MPs would have claimed travel costs.

Whatever, it’s quite a tidy sum.

And, given Pyne’s hypothesis, that Labor and Sharkie were always going to be returned, one has to conclude that his government must just like wasting money.

By the way, has anyone seen Malcolm since the results were announced? Is it too soon for a ‘missing persons’ report?

 

 

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

40 Comments

  1. Oh dear, I almost feel sorry for Georgiana, it was a bit of a downer Saturday for her and the other Downers…

  2. Interesting comment from Downer senior at the head of the article. I find that the most obnoxious comments come from conservative posters. But, if in politics, and you don’t expect to serve the electorate and want to help the big end of town, you are opening up yourself to negative commentary. The odious IPA has an agenda that is adverse to people, Georgina Downer has a close association with the IPA.

  3. Christine Milne

    ‘We’ve helped to make this nation great’ Alexander Downer. No,You disgraced us bugging #TimorLeste. Family dynasties are last century #Mayo

    4:41 pm – 28 Jul 2018

    Greg Jericho

    Alexander Downer: “Our family have been nation builders”

    cripes. #insiders

    4:38 pm – 28 Jul 2018

    simon holmes à court

    ok, i’m trying to follow this logic.

    did @AlexanderDowner just kinda sorta claim that there have been at least 36,677 new arrivals in #mayo?

    6:09 pm – 28 Jul 2018

  4. Don’t forget Downer’s Iraqi wheat sales excuse;”I can’t be expected to read everything that comes across my desk”Outrageous!!

  5. Oh and let’s not forget Downer’s oh so not-funny quip that the party’s domestic violence policy should be named “The Things That Batter”.

  6. Loved Plibersek’s dismissal of Pyne as a Pollyanna figure on Backsliders. The owner of the quiet put-down.

  7. I’ve heard Lucy is in the bedroom throwing hundred dollar notes all around the bed and has informed the media that a hand has emerged quite often, but no body.

  8. Alexander and baby fishnets need to be reminded that sitting on your bums in the Adelaide Hills and donating to/ researching for/ networking with the IPA do not a nation make.

    Tell that to the immigrant workers who built the real Snowy Hydro infrastructure, tell that to our the steel workers, the maritime workers, the farmers, the teachers, the physicians, nurses, the men sent off to fight in wars not of our making, etc, etc.

    What a bunch of delusional wankers!

  9. As my darling husband pointed out on Twitter last night regarding the Downer Dynasty, the nation builders..you mean the Sir John Downer who authorised the massacre of untold numbers of Aborigines?

    As far as having an overblown sense of entitlement due to one’s surname goes, I do believe that my own ancestors are every bit as worthy as the Downer Dynasty to be called nation builders – one was a dry land wheat and sheep farmer, one was a butcher out at Roma QLD, one a country midwife and the other drove a hire buggy and later a bus. All are nation builders…not that it needed ‘building’ in the first place due to having a civilisation in tact, in place and thriving for around 70,000 years (minimum). More like nation destroyers if you look at if from the point of view of the people who really own the place.

  10. Kaye Lee, I smile. Who would have thunk it..that corporate tax cuts weren’t a sure fire election winner. Surely even the most stupid would realise that giving big business massive amounts of money would mean JOBS AND GROWTH…or not.

  11. I don’t think I can see Georgina as a great mover forward for civilisation, but the Downer family are of a group that would have us back to the 14th century.

  12. Exactly, Carol. Bloody new arrivals! By that I mean the whole Downer family…

    Actually, did Alex mean his daughter and family? After all she only moved back in the past few weeks…

  13. How very true Carol. Politicians build nothing other than a national attitude and a global reputation.

    So we are now known for torturing refugees and are regular recipients of the colossal fossil award for our obstruction to action on climate change. The world saw how we treat Indigenous children in detention. The world applauded Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech and were in awe of how well we survived the global financial crisis. And then were aghast that we threw out our first female PM, who was highly regarded on the world stage and negotiated successfully with a minority government domestically, and then gave them Tony Abbott who is as adept at small talk and perceptive of the mood of the room as a noisy toddler.

    We are supposed to be frightened to go out. I keep losing track of who I am supposed to be frightened of – African gangs, Muslim terrorists, rampaging drunken Aborigines, descendants of Lebanese migrants, the Chinese, the hordes of illegal boat people poised to invade our shores, feminists and gays destroying family values, non-Christians who are threatening the church’s right to discriminate and tell lies, union thugs?

    Or we could listen and take heart from the Uluru Statement From the Heart and all learn to walk together in our wonderful country, helping those who may need it along the way.

    We really have a lot to learn from ‘the people who really own the place’ – if only we would listen, their words can make us think about how we do things. They issue us an invitation to walk with them. if only we all could learn to walk together in respect. They can also teach us a lot about forgiveness. I get so sick of people talking a black armband view of history etc. it is just truth telling. But they invite us to move forward. It is a generous and hopeful way to put things.

    Sorry, carried away.

  14. Rossleigh, that was definitely marked on Georgina’s To Do list..move back home, win election and start nation building. After all that’s what Downers do..they eventually do spend at least ‘some’ time in Australia.

  15. Yes indeed. Such esteemed nation builders. His grandfather John Downer, as premier of South Australia, sanctioned the murder of Aborigines in the Northern Territory.

  16. Kaye Lee, please feel free to get as carried away as much as you like. ☺️ Indeed, the white supremist attitude of A. Downer glaringly shone through via his arrogant attitude that ‘his family’ are nation builders. The seat should have been Georgina’s as a birth right..an hereditary title if Downer had his way.

    A trouble with the LNP’s fear and loathing campaigns is that most people these days have families that contain at least one of the above you have mentioned Lebanese, gay, Indigenous, an illegal immigrant…well that’s our family anyway..but minus the rampaging, terrorist, gang and horde part.

  17. When I was young, I was in far more danger from rampaging drunken football teams. Thankfully, sporting codes are taking real action to change the culture. Unfortunately, we don’t seem able to write a code of conduct specific enough to get our politicians to behave.

  18. Uhm …Carol Taylor … a historical amendment … William Wentworth I attempted to bring in hereditary titles for the squattocracy in the 1850s before he retired to England to deny that his father had been a notorious highwayman and medical person. Despite the yearnings from political dynasties for the Pommy “honours titles”, Australians generally prefer real people to represent them in Parliament. Sadly there are very few … real people … in Parliament.

  19. Paul, I had nobody in mind, solely because I’m godsmacked at your comment. You’ve clearly mistaken Carol or Kaye with someone else, and I have absolutely no idea who. And nor do I wish to care to even consider who you might have had in mind.

  20. New England Cocky, I was speaking metaphorically concerning A. Downer’s recent comments concerning his daughter running for Parliament, as if it was her birth right due to esteemed heritage.

  21. Re:

    definitely marked on Georgina’s To Do list..move back home, win election

    Not sure about that. Seems like it was her second best option at least.

    Ahead of the 2016 federal election, Ms Downer sought nomination for the Victorian seat of Goldstein.

    Despite backing from prominent Liberals, she lost to Tim Wilson — a former policy director at the IPA.

    For Georgina, Mayo was the case of any old port in a storm.

    She is now unemployed, given that her IPA position probably requires a Melbourne location. Sharkie is hoping upon hope that Georgina will again be her opponent at the next election. I don’t think it’s going to happen.

    Is it time to resurrect Jamie Briggs? At least he’s good at harassing.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-05-14/georgina-downer-selected-unopposed-as-mayo-candidate/9759848

  22. Sharkie is not only a former member of the Liberal Party, but a former member of Jamie Briggs’ staff. Apparently, there was a plan to woo her back to the Liberals after Xenephon left but it was blocked by Liberal members in the Adelaide Hills.

    Carol, for my part in keeping you away, I am truly sorry. I am aiming to do better. I don’t always succeed but that just gave me yet another reason to try harder.

  23. The Libs said during the campaign that Sharkie votes with Labor most of the time. She took exception to that calling it Liberal lies and demanding they retract….

    “In a letter sent to voters in the electorate, she says she has sided with the government in 49 per cent of all House of Representatives Divisions, compared to 41 per cent of votes with the Opposition.

    In 35 votes on contentious bills, she says she voted with the government 16 times compared to 13 times with the opposition and, on four of the 13 occasions, has changed her vote to support the final version of the bill.”

  24. Thanks for that.. more food for thought.

    Afterthought, given the 50/50 nature stuff involved with that, the party wonks would be looking for patterns, eg economic policy, security policy, etc.

    Seems like an attempt to invent a new or contemporary liberalism free of some of the worst accretions of the last century as to race, caste, maybe the worst of market economics.

  25. You’re being dreadfully unkind, Mr Brisbane. You don’t seem to understand that the people of Mayo have a special spot for the Adelaide Hillbillies. A very special spot. A very, very special spot. It’s called Goldstein. They were going to try to get them further away, but the IPA said no.
    As for your cheap shot about the knife and fork and your inference the Downers wanted a greater slice of the Mayo pie, modern history shows us that if you use a knife and fork on a pie people don’t take kindly to it. Malcolm did, and now he’s on a diet of humble pie. Or was that just humble reflection? It’s hard to keep up with it.
    As for governments never getting swings for them in by-elections, the only one of the recent raft that I can recall is Bananas up in New England. There was a huge swing towards him. Admittedly, he sort of, kind of forgot to tell people of his ‘personal private life’ and subsequently lost his job. The poor bastard has had to supplement his incoming by selling his story to tell people to stop asking about his story. Without wishing to trample a good pseudonym, there not so Cocky in New England anymore.
    As for living in the electorate, that is only an issue if the Humble Pie Man says so. It was bad when Kristina Keneally lived out of the electorate (800 metres away in Boronia Park) but not so bad when John Alexander moved to the hills.

    https://www.domain.com.au/news/liberal-mp-john-alexander-buys-48-million-iona-park-in-moss-vale-20170611-gwo178/

    Poor bugger had to move in with his girlfriend after that. He even had to postpone his retirement. Funny thing. As far as I can tell, none of the Liberal candidates in the not so super Saturday non by-elections actually had to vote. None of them lived in the electorate they were campaigning in! More than happy to be corrected.
    As for the Downers being nation builders, that was a typo. An innocent mistake. They are, and always have been, great notion builders. They built the notion that Timor was independent and just needed to be listened to regarding royalties. ASIO did the listening, Woodside got a new employee of the month (which was a real Downer) and unChristian Porter will tidy up the legal remains when he finishes the secret men’s business. Well, he’ll try Bernard Collaery and Witness K in secret.
    As for casting aspersions upon the rectitude of Miss Georgina, well, that’s just horrid and despicable. To dispel this fake news you are dispensing, she hasn’t been a Twit since June.
    “South Australian Liberal candidate Georgina Downer — who is vying for the seat of Mayo in the upcoming by-election — has deleted her Twitter account, blaming “trolls” using “unacceptable language”.
    “I am no longer active on Twitter because quite frankly Twitter is not the best place where we as political candidates find it’s best to engage with our communities,” she said.
    “I use Facebook as my medium for engagement with people in Mayo.”
    Even when she went to all that trouble to stop being a Twit, those horrible nasty potty mouthed people went onto her FB page and repeatedly used the ‘C’ word. No, it wasn’t that nasty little Ghunt, either.
    “However, multiple Twitter users have openly complained that when they have commented or asked questions on Georgina Downer’s social media accounts, they had their feedback deleted and were blocked from commenting further.
    Professor Tim Stephens wrote: “My question to Ms Downer on FB re climate change lasted five minutes before being deleted. Odd and undemocratic behaviour for a candidate seeking election to the Australian Parliament.”

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-13/georgina-downer-deletes-twitter-account-in-mayo-campaign/9865002

    Climate Change! How could Miss Georgina possibly be expected to tolerate such disgusting language. Even her friends at the IPA were horrified at such language.
    And, as a final correction, your reference to Malcolm being the subject of a missing person’s report is unfounded. Well, so far. Missing Persons Week is from the 5th to the 11th August. Whilst Malcolm has enquired if there may be a photo-op for him in a hi-vis vest and a mask, the idea has been turfed. His media advisor, Tony, said it would be too easy for his opponents (which is now believed to be the entire backbench, most of the frontbench, the Liberal Party, the National Party and all of the crossbenchers) to misrepresent a ‘Missing Person’s Report’ as a ‘Missing In Action/Missing Inaction’ report. Tony was so worried, he doubted that even the combined efforts of NewsCorpse and whatever friendlies are left in whatever is left of MSM could help. Mind you, his ABC will still campaign for him.
    No. You are being dreadfully unkind.
    Well done, Mr Brisbane and commenters. Take care

  26. They forget about the convicts who labour built roads, set up farms, dug coal from the land. The hoard of free settlers, many fleeing poverty in their own lands, building farms from scratch across this land. Then they came in thousands to share in gold. It was those at the bottom in their own lands that built this country of ours. Built it with little more than an axe, shovel & pick.

  27. She did try unsuccessfully in Victoria before moving home to dad. Did anyone see her husband vote?

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