Sometime last night after it became clear that the Government wasn’t going to win any of the seats, Christopher “The Fixer” Pyne began telling us that it was only to be expected.
Governments never have swings toward them in by-elections, apparently. Why, there hasn’t been an occasion since 1920 of anyone doing that! Really, Labor shouldn’t be getting carried away with this. It wasn’t a referendum on anything, let alone a judgement on Malcolm Turnbull. No, of course, there’s no need to abandon the tax cuts. It wasn’t really a vote on issues. Or personalities. No, it has absolutely no implications for the next election. That will be fought on things whereas this was all about other things. Or nothing…
Again this morning, Pyne was running a similar line. This was in line with historic swings in by-elections, and as for Georgina Downer, why it was a great result. She got 39%, and if she can just boost that up to 45% at the next general election, she’ll have a great chance of winning…
Of course, one could point out that if she could just boost it up to 55% then she’s a shoe-in, however that ignores reality. It should be pretty easy for her to get that seven percent once people realise that she’s a DOWNER.
Oh, just to make it clear here. By suggesting Georgina is a “Downer”, I am referring to her place in the Adelaide Hills, and not suggesting that she’s rather depressing, but, hey, have it your own way, people.
Anyway, the Downers are apparently nation-builders. That’s what her father, the highly esteemed wearer of fishnet stockings told us in his summary of the election. Not only that but he wrote on social media that the Sharkie supporters had brought hate to the Adelaide Hills.
Bastards! The Downers bring only love and nation-building. It’s those other people who disagree with us that prevent consensus. Of course, as he put it, “They must be new arrivals”!
Before you jump the gun and accuse him of being anti-immigrant, it’s worth stopping to consider that he probably just means new arrivals to the Adelaide Hills, not to the country. There’s a certain type of person who lives there and some of those new arrivals don’t understand that there’s a certain expectation on how one behaves. One should speak correctly, use the correct knife and fork and vote Downer… I mean, Liberal.
Notwithstanding the absolutely spiffing result in the Adelaide Hills, where Georgina received a swing of over 30% to her, the other results had some commentators suggesting that it was a poor result for Turnbull. (That’s to her personally, not to the Liberals. There was no Downer at the previous election so any votes she received can be considered a swing to her!)
But how could it be considered anything but a ringing endorsement of Turnbull’s tax cuts? I mean, according to Christopher Pyne, to have won either of these other electorates would have been a miracle, which begs the question:
Why did the government waste so much money?
Now I could go off on an economic tangent and suggest that maybe it’s part of their trickle-down philosophy. High Court cases and by-elections are great for jobs and growth. But given they haven’t mentioned this as an idea, I’m inclined to think that they must just like spending money for the sake of it.
I mean, they caused these by-elections by questioning their opponents’ eligibility in the High Court – a costly exercise. Then there’s the cost of the by-elections themselves. Of course, the various campaign costs of the parties wouldn’t be public expenditure. And I’m sure that none of the MPs would have claimed travel costs.
Whatever, it’s quite a tidy sum.
And, given Pyne’s hypothesis, that Labor and Sharkie were always going to be returned, one has to conclude that his government must just like wasting money.
By the way, has anyone seen Malcolm since the results were announced? Is it too soon for a missing persons report?