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PRESS CONFERENCE: Women’s Task Force, Vaccines And Christina Holgate…

“Good morning, I’d like to announce that we had a very productive meeting of the women’s task force where we agreed that the time for action has indeed arrived and there was general consensus that we would all read the report which recommends actions which can help to address the issues which we all agreed need addressing. The report is being photocopied as we speak and we expect that by the end of April all members of the task force should have a copy. We intend to meet again after the Budget and I’ll be updated on exactly which page each of the members of the task force is up to. This is an historic day for women and I think that we should all acknowledge that.

“On the matter of vaccines, there’s been a lot of misreporting and I’d just like to put some facts on the table. For a start, when I said that we hoped to have more people vaccinated than is currently the case, I was expressing a hope and not a definite target and what’s the country coming to when people can’t even express a hope any more. I stand for hope… and miracles, and if you want to criticise me for that, well go ahead, but you’d better be careful because I know what some of you have been up to. It’s also been suggested that I was blaming the EU for the slow rollout. That just isn’t so, because we are ahead a schedule and therefore there’s nothing slow about the rollout. How could I be blaming the EU for something that doesn’t exist which is the vaccines we were promised but haven’t arrived due to a holdup. Now some may wish to play politics with this but let me be quite clear. Semantics is not the way to get things done and neither is turning this into a race. By taking our time we can learn from what others are doing and as everyone is taking their time with the Astra Zeneca doses, it’s only reasonable that we will too.

”Finally, on the matter of Christine Holgate, I’d just like to make it clear that this is not a matter for me and I have no intention of commenting, however, I would like to say that she resigned and that was because she chose to and any suggestion that I put pressure on her by demanding that she go, doesn’t take into account that it was nothing to do with me and I had no power to force her to resign so anything I previously said on the matter was just an opinion and nothing to do with her decision to step away from her role.

”Now, I have time for a few questions but make them brief because Chris Uhlmann has one that will take me quite some time to answer.”

Mr Morrison, do you agree that, in hindsight, it would have been better for the Commonwealth to have organised mass vaccinations and been in control of the whole process?

”No, I don’t because you’re assuming that we would have been able to have done mass vaccinations when there was a shortage of vaccines. When we predicted… or rather, hoped, that millions of people would have been vaccinated by the end of March we weren’t expecting them not to be. And they weren’t for a variety of reasons: floods, lack of supply, women marching… and let me point out, any doctor will tell you it’s damn hard to vaccinate someone when they’re marching. So, it really gets down to this. To vaccinate somebody you need a syringe, someone to vaccinate and a vaccine and if you don’t have any single one of those things you can’t vaccinate anyone and anyway, Health is a state responsibility.”

On the subject of the women’s march, do you agree that it would have been better to have gone out to meet them, rather than demand that they come to you?

“Well, I think it’s wrong to suggest that I demanded that they come to me. I simply invited them and to categorise that as a demand is to misrepresent the whole thing. I made myself available which is more than they did, so I think I was prepared to meet them halfway. But the issue is not who met who and when. The issue is that I have two daughters, one wife and one mother and they are everything so how can these women be anything more than a distraction from the very real task of making women safe in all workplaces which, let me tell you, are just as bad or worse than than some of the others and in particular, Parliament is not one that I’d characterise as lacking in this any more than anything else.”

Didn’t you demand that Christine Holgate stand down, so how can you say it was her decision?

“I reject the premise of that question, and not only that, I reject the premise that such a question exists.”

Mr Morrison, can you just…

”I’m sorry but I have an important meeting to attend and Chris hasn’t had a chance to ask his question yet. Chris?”

Thanks, Mr Morrison, would you like to outline your response to Labor’s criticism of the NDIS changes?

”That’s tomorrow’s question, Chris. I haven’t prepared for that one. Well, that’s it then.”


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  1. Terence Mills

    “I was appalled, and it is disgraceful and not on,” Morrison thundered in parliament. ” She has been instructed to stand aside. If she doesn’t wish to do that, she can go.”

    Those words over Christine Holgate, spoken on the record by Morrison, who is neither a director nor an officer of Australia Post, will cost us a lot of money – he had no authority to sack her but that’s just what he did.

    Why do we always have to pay for political indiscretions ?

  2. pierre wilkinson

    I am worried about you Rossleigh, your morrison speak is so realistic I hope he hasn’t affected your ability to do satire

  3. New England Cocky

    Morriscum: ” I stand for hope… and miracles”.

    Yep!! We live in hope ….. and prepare for the early 2021 federal elections. Just watch the handouts to marginal COALiiton electorates …..

  4. Rossleigh

    No, I am not moonlighting as Morrison’s speechwriter…

  5. Jon Chesterson

    Yup that sums him up really well Rossleigh, the incompetent, arrogant, corrupt bastard from Bronte. Will Morrison be suing us (the Australian public) next, surely not to beaten by Christian Porter, Peter Dutton and Clive Palmer at their own game? Why else run for office when it gives you such a fabulous opportunity to use public funds unfettered by non-existent public service staff to sue the general public for having an opinion and exercising their right to free speech or human socioeconomic political critique. Are we any different from China in silencing the masses or is it just the method by which we go about it?

  6. Jon Chesterson

    PS – ‘Miracles and hope…’ The miracle I am hoping for is the tsunami at the next election that sees Morrison and his krauts annihilated from office. A WA supercharged duo, but let’s see what happens in Tassie first shall we? Come on Tassie you can do it, let’s get serious, don’t get left behind!

  7. Michael Taylor

    Kronomex, just read the link about Dr Scotty and the question should be asked; “If AZ is so good then why did you get Pfizer?”

  8. Michael Taylor

    Carol just read in The Guardian that the UK will cease giving AZ to people aged under 30.

  9. Max Gross

    As with Trump, it has become almost impossible to parody Morrison. I fear we will never climb out of the obscurantist shit hole the LNP has dropped Australia in.

  10. Brozza

    If Christina Holgate had given $20k bonuses instead of ‘cheaper’ watches, there would have been an outcry of how little she appreciates her team.
    Our Pathetic Muppet so much reminds me of a bulls rectum and we all know what the end product of that is.

  11. Brozza

    Michael Taylor – in the minds of the head freckle and the frecklets, AZ is only for the plebs

  12. Michael Taylor

    Under 50s are now to get Pfizer, says Morrison.

    It’s a start, but why not everyone.

    The downside is that there will now be a delay in the rollouts.

  13. wam

    the territory is small enough for labor to have given us pfizer but you can bet the pollies and relatives were the chosen few??? A poor decision gunner!!! you are lucky the opposition is the clp led by a woman who makes cash look and sound human.

  14. Doctor Wu

    Jon Chesterson wonders, “Are we any different from China in silencing the masses or is it just the method by which we go about it?” My two-penneth worth …

    I lived and worked as an expat in Cambodia for some time. Cambodia is a military dictatorship that is heavily dependent on China. Its leader, Hun Sen, says publicly that he doesn’t care what people say in cafes or at parties, but anyone who speaks against him publicly or in the media will disappear or be shot. He has made good his word many times. Cambodia uses Chinese surveillance technology donated by China and deployed to monitor the internet and public places. Khmer friends told me that I was lucky to be a citizen of a democratic country where the “guvmint” doesn’t kill people. My standard reply was only rarely believed. I told Khmer friends that Australian “guvmints” do kill people. They just don’t do it with guns. (Although to judge by the look on her face, Ms Cash would like to do so with trade union officials.)

    It is written, (Robert E. Howard), that “Barbarism is the natural state of humanity. Civilisation is but a whim of circumstance”. That sounds like a Hobbesian nightmare. But, having “watched the world walk by in its funny shoes”, (Kerouac), from several different countries, I take Howard’s view seriously. Now retired to my bush redoubt, I inspect the long view. I observe the increasing corruption, mendacity and brutality of our so-called leaders and fear that Australia is on a slippery slope to barbarism. Together, we must ensure that the “circumstance” is not further damaged or destroyed by the “whim” of the current crop of political bullshitters whom, in our wisdom, we actually elected.

  15. Rossleigh

    Michael, the delay is not a downside for Morrison. It’s the only reason we have a change. If he believed we’d meet the October 1st deadline it would be full speed ahead and let the torpedoes hit whoever.

  16. Jon Chesterson

    I agree Rossleigh, we were never going to meet anything close to the vaccine rollout arrogantly announced by Morrison. It was foot in mouth disease. The European supply issue was totally predictable from early last year even when Morrison placed his solo order on behalf of Australia and backed it up with the one and only domestic manufacture of the same product.

    As for Pfizer, we have been promised 20 million, just enough to cover phase 1a and 1b rollout (14-16 million doses), but we don’t even have enough to cover 4 million now or the immediate future, and there are no eagles in the clouds as we speak. Again same situation, US like Europe will protect their own market and citizens first, the US are always in the business of protective trade practices (free trade is almost a myth especially on vital products such as vaccines), and God didn’t they need it more than us for their 328 million population to our 25 million – predictable. And right now, despite ramping up their rollout, as many being vaccinated in one day as Australia all year to date.

    As we have all been saying here, Morrison put all our eggs in one basket last year and now we are reaping the result of his incompetent and arrogant gamble. No talk even of Novax, Moderna, Johnson and Johnson other than a bare rumour or mention. It was never going to happen. Morrison thought AstraZeneca would get him to the next election with Pfizer as the back up. No doubt many Liberals bought shares for profit last year in AZ or CSL before and around the government announcements. And just may be this is why the Morrison and Federal Govenment have remained silent and procrastinated for so long.

    Isn’t it obvious to us all, we’ve been bled and shafted.

    A sober and wise reflection, Doctor Wu – The killing is more than mere bullets, even Morrison understands that and the illusion of democracy.

  17. Jon Chesterson


    Christine Holgate was standing in the way of this Federal Government’s secret intention to privatise parts of Australia Post and lose jobs and offices in rural and remote regions. You could also argue the lucrative deal for banking that had been made would have benefitted Australia Post and strengthened its position to resist privatisation – That must have really annoyed Morrison. Morrison out of frustration, anger and self righteousness and his Minister found an opportunity to humiliate her in public over an issue he knew would make Australians angry and gaslighted it in question time, despite executive gifts like this very obviously being normal practice in the sector and especially by Liberals.

    He as good as used his position of office as Prime Minister to bully the CEO, Board and Chairman of Australia Post to stand her down. Ooops stand down, stand aside, stand down , stand aside – These phrases have been used synonymously, but after such public humiliation and de facto direction from the Prime Minister in question time does it even matter? This is classic political interference in affairs of the public service, which is both unconstitutional, political abuse and corruption, staff abuse and bullying, and all for political gain.

    Looks like the Board chairman is damned if he tells the truth and damned if he lies. Sounds like he and Christine Holgate have been muzzled by the government over their privatisation plans, and under oath in the senate, so will he commit perjury in trying to keep his job? This is a battle between Morrison’s government and parliament (the senate enquiry) no less with public servants and service in the middle taking the fall. Once again no surprises that it is a woman here being bullied by Megalo Morrison to the point of depression and suicide… Now isn’t that a familiar story?

    Stand aside Mr Morrison!. Fuck no, Stand down!

    Reference: Christine Holgate says she was bullied out of role as CEO of Australia Post after Cartier watch controversy – ABC, 13 April

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