I heard something interesting today. Scott Morrison was on 2GB telling voters:
“Anthony Albanese has been totally burned by this scandal. We’re fighting for jobs, they’re fighting each other.”
Yes, it’s a fairly unremarkable statement were it not for the number of times I heard him tell interviewers that he wasn’t a commentator when asked about such things poor opinion poll numbers. It’s been a fairly consistent line from a lot of politicians when they can’t simply “reject the premise of the question”.
So one must presume that from this moment on, Mr Morrison is a commentator and will be doing a running commentary on a whole range of topics. For example, if Judge Flick finds Peter Dutton guilty of contempt of court just because he’s that the judge’s ruling is wrong and treating with contempt, will Commentator Morrison tell us:
“This is outrageous. We can’t have a duly elected member of the government being asked to comply with the law. If this becomes a precedent there’s no telling where this will end up. You’ll have the AEC telling people to take down signs just because they’re purple and containing misinformation. We’ll have employers going to jail just because they’ve deliberately held back money from their workers in order to buy a ticket to a Liberal fundraiser. This is the end of democracy as we know it.”
Instead of getting on with the job of creating jobs, will he instead devote his time to telling us all what a great job his government is doing at the business of announcing really, really good policies and how good they are and how Labor are the party of negativity because they see it as a bad thing that almost none of the announcements are leading to actual money being spent? Will he tell us that – in spite of the worst unemployment figures in years, the highest debt ever, their inability to actually deliver a surplus and a massive costing mistake – the current government is a great economic manager because it would be worse if it wasn’t for their skill at making announcements.
Oh wait, that one already happens.
Perhaps he’ll begin to comment on the election chances of Donald Trump and say that his idea of solving the Covid-19 problem in the US by not testing is a sure vote winner and it’s something that could be used in Australia with the same likelihood of success.
Or maybe he’ll tell us what a great job Boris has done with Brexit and what a good idea it is for a country to close its borders…
Actually, don’t get me wrong. I think Brexit is a damn fine thing, albeit too little, too late. I mean, the idea that the British people want to exit from the EU is a fine thing, but many, many countries in the world probably wish that Britain had exited from their country before they even got there.
Yes, that’s what somebody told the British generals and so they did. And there they stayed until the Indians kicked them out.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Any minute now, Alexander Downer is going to Tweet that you should think yourself lucky that the British were the ones to not invade Australia because if it was the French then you’d all be in trouble because nobody much speaks French. “I mean,” Alex will tell us, “I can, so I’d be ok, but the rest of you would just grow frustrated and need to be put out of your misery like all those aboriginal people who didn’t respect my grandfather’s property rights. Probably because the law was written in a language which they couldn’t read. And you’d be just like them if it laws were written in French…”
Anyway, it’s good to know that Scotty will be providing commentary from now on. I look forward to his take on such things as how the Liberals manage branch stacking when they don’t – as Malcolm told us – have factions. Or perhaps commentary on Bridget McKenzie’s skill that enables her to criticise Labor for inappropriateness, while keeping a straight face. I look forward to him providing a running commentary on exactly why he rejects the premise of any question that doesn’t suit him.
And I particularly look forward to his commentary when told about an upcoming leadership challenge or Liberal Party scandal…
No, I don’t know anything but it’s been over eighteen months since the last change of PM, so surely someone must start spreading rumours soon. And it’s been over a week since the last suggestion of Liberal Party corruption… Or clever politics, as the MSM refer to it.
Surely something must be about to happen.