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Obituary for a failure: The political passing of our always late PM

A draft obituary for the election aftermath

In anticipation of the political passing of our soon to be ex-PM I thought I’d get ahead of the pack and celebrate early, confident that I do not have the power to spoil the outcome by doing so.

A most amusing irony in the removal of the blunder omnibus that was MIA Morrison’s toxic government will be his attempt to reconcile his belief in divine endorsement of his worthiness with his humiliating loss of office due in no small part to ‘acts of God’. He would’ve made a pathetic yet also gratifying spectacle when on his knees (that peculiar, buttockless derriere overflowing his flanny jim-jams) praying for an explanation from his celestial sponsor – the one whose advice he sought over that of experts and scientists. The for once non-practised tears and choking voice would damn the lazy coward for the hypocrite and fraud that he was.

Lauded by Trump, a carrot-coloured, psychotic narcissist with whom he celebrated many shared values and yet perversely also called by God, F. Scott Fitzfuckup PM was a fatuous blaggard of no discernible decency or talent beyond posturing and the avoidance of accountability. He was an opportunist of disposable principles whose instinct in any circumstance, however dire, was to hide while looking for angles that served his own interests and for scapegoats to finger for his own failings. As with so many mediocre men he had in his possession an entirely undeserved self-belief and relentless ambition unhindered by merit.

As the country and the world moved on around him The Great Schmo, a flailing middle manager, flattered himself with the title of ‘leader’. A petty mind further constrained by a literal belief in Santa Claus for adults, a practised liar, a deceiver, a manipulator, a shrivelled, one-dimensional intellect, a light-weight incapable of reflection or forethought, mentored by a grifter, impervious to self-reflection. A lazy laggard with the underlying condition of smarm that typified the shameless big-noter.

There was no occasion too small for Skiddy to fail to rise to. Untroubled by scruples, honesty or shame he would claim credit for the work of others and deny his own well-documented fuck-ups. Like all poseurs and bullies, he was a coward. Frightened by feisty women, intimidated by the rubes of the Rustic Party, reduced to pathetic whimperings when confronted by the blatherings of twin non-entities Colonel Blimp Kelly and his rotund, fellow nutter-in-residence Buoy George Christensen.

He surrounded himself with sycophants, he used “Jen and the girls®” as human shields, no child, living or dead, was safe from being used as a prop, no brazen photo-op was too shameful. There was no bar too low, no issue he wouldn’t politicise, no expectation he couldn’t disappoint, no accountability he couldn’t dodge, no rort he wouldn’t exploit. There were no fringe loonies from climate conspiracists to neo-Nazis he wouldn’t dog-whistle. Victim blaming, bullying and backgrounding were his specialties.

Aggrieved by the concept of proactive government he was nevertheless comfortable with the notion that he was deserving of two publicly funded and staffed mansions and a retinue of minions and minders. The reality check of voter anger, disappointment and regret affronted his entitlement and was explained away as a failing on the part of the electorate. For Scotty, someone else was always to blame.

After >3 years of indolence interspersed with problems he bungled into crises the unanswered question is ‘what was the purpose of Scott Morrison?’ In retrospect it would seem he sought government simply to prove that government was counter-productive and in this one mission he was successful in so far as it applied to his own.

He sought power for power’s sake, refusing to exercise it (“… that’s not my job”), choosing indifference and invisibility in times of crisis while defaulting to his failed travel agent’s propensity for self-aggrandisement whenever opportunity arose. Why did he think his God wanted him in the job? To abandon those covered in ash, smoke and mud as being unworthy? To treat climate change and a rampant pandemic as his God’s will and not to be interfered with? To leave it to his disaster capitalists cronies to find profit in misfortune in line with the dogma of his weird prosperity cult?

“Getting government out of people’s lives” to leave them at the mercy of can-do fossil fuel oligarchs, party chums and Jesus retailers who, it must be said, have an admirable creative portfolio of schemes to transform public money and resources into super yachts, family trusts and property portfolios – the trickle-down of our money to their mates – Skiddy’s small government free-marketeer chums who subsidised their friends and regulated their enemies.

At last there is one government that is out of our lives – the most incompetent and corrupt in our history.

Morrison’s greatest contribution to high office was being removed from it.


Scooter surveys the results of 3 years of his government. Photo: AAP, Dave Hunt



Hidden detail in Scott Morrison’s Instagram post sparks outrage. Yahoo News.

The pattern is that if you attack Scott Morrison… he will lash out and background against you in the most vicious of ways.” Samantha Maiden, The Drum

“Morrison always presents himself as the answer to the problems he creates.”

“… the extraordinary reframing of abject failure as courageous leadership.

An administrator not a leader; The reason why he’s behind on issues is because he waits for the polling before acting.” The New Daily

Where would this man be without pollsters dictating his every utterance?” Dennis Atkins, In Queensland

Morrison’s whole career has been based on the ability to leave jobs unfinished while getting himself promoted out of trouble.” Richard Dennis, The Saturday Paper

This article was originally published on Grumpy Geezer.

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  1. TwainandHume

    Haven’t heard it put better.

  2. New England Cocky

    AW geez GG, I didn’t realis that you had a charitable side when discussing current Australian politics. I would have de cribed Scummo as the most totally incompetent Prim Monster and a curse on Australian voters.

  3. RomeoCharlie29

    This is gold. So many apposite alliterations.So many infinitely quotable summations of the man. Every day he cocks up another puerile photo op, combing still more voters of the fact that he’s as shallow as a mirror and has the gravitas of a goose ( well gander). His place in political history as the worst PM ever, and I include Biddy as well, ensures that in future, whenever disastrous governments are mentioned, his will be a standout. Some apparently still think he can pull this one off, another miracle election after all doesn’t his faith say ‘ he performs wonders that can’t be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted’? Of course those of us who don’t believe in sky fairies know that Skiddy( great name) has used up more than his allocation of believable thoughts, words and actions and is now just a babbling nonentity with a title and role he has made laughable. Long may he languish, not in obscurity but as a footnote to the history of incompetent governments.

  4. pierre wilkinson

    thank you for your articulation Mr Grumpy

  5. Kathryn

    Well said, GG! You have provided us with yet another well-written summary of Morrison’s appalling lack of leadership, unbelievable hypocrisy and self-serving narcissism. The bone-idle, non-achieving Sloth Morrison keeps on regurgitating bland weak excuses and self-promoting lies whilst shamelessly blaming others for the chaos, dysfunction and destruction his appalling cabinet of political psychopaths will be leaving behind when, at long last, they are removed from their role as the worst, most despised and remorselessly corrupt government in living memory! Everything Sloth Morrison has done – and not done – has achieved NOTHING but reinforce the belief that Morrison ticks every box as a megalomaniac with undeserved delusions of grandeur who is burdened with a total lack of insight, not one iota of integrity, zero credibility and a level of callous disregard for others that can only be described as sociopathic!

    Truly, the BEST thing Sloth Morrison and the appalling, totally heartless “attack dogs” in his wretched cabinet can do for this country, our democracy and the future of our nation is to STEP DOWN! Of course, this will NEVER happen because the Lying Nasty Party maintain a born-to-rule entitlement that is beyond depraved. This is WHY it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that the people of Australia rid this nation of the worst, most dangerously undemocratic government in our history (right up there with the war criminal, John Howard). History will show that the Abbott/Morrison regime only managed to do three things “efficiently” and that is to defund, destroy and vandalise just about EVERYTHING Australians value which includes our democracy, our quality of life, our economy and our (once) enviable international reputation!

  6. Kaye Lee

    Here lies Scott John Morrison,….and there…. and there…..

    Almost gone and quickly forgotten.

    May his photographer rest in peace

  7. Harry Lime

    I can’t help thinking that God wanted him to be Prime Minister to teach us a fucking lesson about not thinking for ourselves.Looks like She was right…again.Can’t wait for his concession speech..that’s if he isn’t knifed beforehand,or fails to turn up again.One thing’s for certain…not having to be assailed by his lying face will be a blessing.C’mon train,C’mon train.

  8. Claudio Pompili

    Dear GG, always love your prose.

    But there is nothing in Morrison’s tenure as PM that indicates any departure from his previous employment history and ministerial form….it’s all been bleeding obvious. And he’s only the latest incarnation in a long line of Liberal PMs that would vie for the top spot of men devoid of leadership qualities entrusted with increasing the prosperity and safety of all Australians, not just the select donor-mates.

    The elephant in the room is the majority Australians that repeatedly and doggedly empower the Liberal Party, despite voting against their own interests. I suspect that they, true to form, will do so again in the coming election.

    Despite that, Labor could win government, if they were to form a coalition government, like so often happens in Europe. Taking a leaf out of the LNP playbook, a coalition of Greens and independent progressives would highly likely garner enough votes. The ALP, however, likes to play Russian roulette…winner takes all. Clearly, it doesn’t care much for the broader Australian populace that has to suffer decades of Liberal rule. Life is cosy as a career politician, either in government or in opposition.

  9. ajogrady

    Once you strip away the blatant ingrained insidious and treasonous corruption, the obvious and absolutely consistent poor judgement, the culpable and dangerous incompetence, the continual deception and the constant distortion, the endless creations of laws and opportunities to suppress and stifle contrary debate, the flagrant sneaky and self serving promotion of religious faith at the expense of political integrity, the erroneous attempts to hamper voting, the anger and disgust generated by cutting and running leaving our Afghani comrades in arms to their fate, the crippling of living standards, the devious and unfettered betrayal of Australias sovereignty, the culpable treachery in the ruination of good international trade and international relations, the trashing of Australias good international reputation, the shambolic and totally inept governance standards, the deceitful marketing spin and hypocritical sloganeering plus being a constant and continuous impediment to Australia and Australians reaching their true potential what does the L/NP actually stand for? What is left? What is left is a snide, sneering, sniping, selfish, smug and contemptuous ideology that nurtures, coddles and promotes corrupt to the core thugs, swindlers, chiselers, fraudsters, shysters, cheats and con artists, solicitors of anonymous brown paper bag donations, pathetic debauched degenerates and perverted misogynistic misfits, pseudo Christian cult wack jobs, fanatical religious lunatics, QAnon advocates, cowardly saber rattling war mongering hawks, sadistic and selfish economic vandals, problamatic climate skeptic fundamentalists, environmental saboteurs and desecrators, first nations people apathetic Judases, handicappers to the handicapped, oppressors of the needy and the disadvantaged, enablers of the obscenely wealthy parasitic profiteers, drunken lecherous fornicators and provocateurs plus egotistical born to rule privilaged sociopaths and psychopaths that are devoid of standards, principles, values, morals, ethics, honesty, and basic empathy always rorting, stealing, fiddling, fudging, obfuscating and basically out and out blatant lying while being protected by a maliciously biased, pathetic sycophantic and delusional media.
    Influenced by professional predatory lobbyists whores and directed by crooked callous conservative think tanks whose shadowy underbelly of criminality makes Ned Kelly look like a gentleman. The L/NP not only do not represent most Australians but do not respect them.
    Members of the L/NP are selfish corrupt cowardly sooks of, at best, average talent. They are defined by their privilage and family connections that explains their mediocrity. Merit and ability is always a secondary consideration when deceit and deception is considered meritorious and rat cunning and a Machiavellian character is considered ability.
    The L/NP have managed to create a massive trust deficit not only domestically but internationally that has left Australias once good reputation in tatters and Australia is now bordering on pariah state status. “Private and confidential” is a misnomer to the L/NP. Diplomacy, critical thinking and cause and effect are foreign concepts to the L/NP. These failings will have or result in dire consequences and outcomes for Australia and Australians. In particular the L/NP believe that success is the ability to go from one total failure to another total failure with no loss of enthusiasm or any sign of a guilty conscience or any shame.The L/NP not only rewards lethargic sneaks, cheats and sly back stabbers but consider mediocrity as their gold standard.
    The L/NP are an insult to equitable governance standards and egalitarian rule. The L/NP are not fit to hold any form of public office in a functioning, vibrant nation that is a cohesive humane society. Australia was built on the egalitarian theme of “a fair go” for all where “the greater good” is paramount to its fundamental beliefs. These values created strong and proud foundations that builds better futures for the many not just the few. These strong ethical values are an anomaly and an aberration to the L/NP. Somebody once said that Fascism comes wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.
    Enough is enough.
    Australians dont need “can do” capitalism they need a “can do” government.
    Another 3 years of the insanity, turmoil and malfeasance that masquerades as governance by the L/NP will see Australia become barely recognisable as the once great egalitarian nation it once was.
    Australians have got to stop voting against there own best interests or they will forever be remembered as the people from the land of boiling frogs.
    Lest we forget.

  10. margcal

    The photo of Morrison surrounded by wreckage would have to be the definition of “a picture is worth a thousand words”.

    “An administrator not a leader;…
    Administrators have their (often very important) place. Even if Morrison had only been an administrator and not a leader, if he’d been any good at administrating, we would be in a much better position than we are today.
    But he’s not an administrator either.

    Morrison’s treasurer is in the same mold. Frydenberg’s face is all over Kooyong already and his slogan is about recovery …. well who made the mess we have to recover from??!!

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