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Nigel Farrage Or What’s A Conservative Anyway?

Recently we had a number of foreigners come here and tell us what was wrong with the place. If they’d been from some countries, we’d have told them that we shall decide the circumstances in which they come and whether they’re allowed say anything at all, but they were mainly from Britain and the United States, so it was all ok, because we have a long history of being told what to do by those countries.

I refer, of course, to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Sydney. You may have read reports that when former Breitbart editor, Raheem Kassam, started speaking about Kristina Kenneally, sections of the crowd broke into chants of “Send her back”, which had a certain irony and just because of the number of speakers who were from her country of origin. As Kenneally herself pointed out, the original chant was because Trump had suggested that four congresswomen go back to their “crime-infested” countries of origin and start fixing things there, so the crowd was basically suggesting that the USA was a crime-infested country that needed fixing.

The conference was full of speakers happy to tell us that the greenies had taken over the world. Ok, let’s ignore the fact that we have three of the biggest buffoons to ever make it to high office and they all identify as conservative. Ah, for the days of those intellectual giants like Ronald Reagan, John Major and Billy McMahon… No, we just recently had communists like Malcolm Turnbull and David Cameron running things…

Now, I would have thought that trying to preserve the planet was about as conservative as you could get, but apparently not. It seems that by “conservative” what they all seem to mean is what I understood as “reactionary”: a person who opposes progressive social change and wishes to return to the halcyon days when everyone had the right beliefs and you could get a fair day’s work for a fair day’s whipping.

Most of you probably have an image of a conservative as someone like Bob Menzies, a defender of tradition, so long as it was British and suited his political agenda, and a keen lover of the Royal Family. However, Nigel Farage’s little speech made me wonder just what a conservative is these days.

Farage came to prominence as a member of the pro-Brexit UKIP party. I always thought that “kip” meant to have a sleep so when people say the name, it always makes me wonder who they’re suggesting should go to sleep. Nigel still holds ambitions of becoming PM, and given the situation, it’s highly likely that, were he to find an electorate silly enough to elect him, then he may be the only person silly enough to want the job in a post-Brexit Britain.

Surely someone like Farage would be a staunch supporter of the monarchy, I thought. Well, he sort of is. He loves the Queen – “an awe-inspiring woman, we’re bloody lucky to have her” – but he’s not so keen on some of the others in the family. Apart from describing the Queen Mother as a “overweight, chain-smoking gin drinker”, he told us: “Well, if I want the Queen to live a long time to stop Charlie Boy becoming king, I want Charlie Boy to live even longer and William to live forever to stop Harry becoming king,” His concern was prompted by Charlie Boy and Harry’s attitudes to climate change. (I’m presuming that “Charlie Boy” is Prince Charles and not one of the Queen’s racehorses).

Of course, this is a monarchy and, as such, it doesn’t really matter what a common man like Nigel thinks about succession, so I don’t know why he’s bothering with an opinion at all. I also don’t think he quite understands that Harry is so far down the list now that the chances of him becoming king are less likely than Farage becoming PM. Still, his desire for William to live “forever” does seem a little extreme. Unless by forever, he just means to the end of the world which, if he and his fellow travellers get their way, may come a lot sooner than we’d like…

P.S. On Sunday night, the ABC ran David Attenborough’s “Climate Change; The Facts”. I understand that there has been some backlash because they didn’t balance this by presenting non-facts. Malcolm Roberts is said to be ropable and is planning to write to the ABC management just as soon as he learns his other letters.


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  1. Terence Mills

    Nigel Farage arrives fresh from his British Airways first class flight from the UK and is met by his sponsors, the Institute of Public Affairs :

    Farage : Harrumph ! that was a hell of a long flight, good to be in Vienna finally, what, what !

    IPA Flunky ; (tugs at forelock) Actually Sir you’re in Australia not Austria and you’re here as the keynote speaker in the Sydney CPAC conference.

    Farage : CPAC what’s that ? Now you chaps just make sure that my fee has been paid and that my first class return ticket is ready so that I can get out of this hell-hole as soon as we’re done harrumph – so what do you want me to talk about , BREXIT ?

    IPA Flunky : Well, no Your Eminence. We were wondering if you could vilify, denigrate and demean Malcolm Turnbull.

    Farage : Malcolm who ? Never heard of the chap, is he a Lefty conspirator ?

    IPA Flunky : Not quite Sir but he is a former Australian Prime Minister who was recently toppled in a coupe and we want to destroy his legacy.

    Farage : Right Ho ! What about a Guinness just to get the show on the road and I still need to see that my fee is in my Channel Islands bank account ; tax free haven don’tcha know.
    Now, what if I call this Malcolm Trumble a snake, would that do ?

    IPA Flunky : Oh Eminence that would be so good and would set the tone of our conference : your keynote address will be followed by a pile-on by Tony Abbott, Peta Credlin, Craig Kelly and all those people from Newscorp and SKY. it’s going to be so good.

    Farage : ‘don’t know half the people you’re talking about young fella me lad : you seem to be getting over excited : is that your vegan lunch in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me here in Vienna ?

    AND so it goes !

  2. whatever

    OneNation Senators have been making these demands that the ABC broadcast RWNJ sentiments for a long time.
    They usually get what they want, too. There are many strange programs that pop-up on Radio National about “Islam” and “Mining” and stupid NeoCon ‘Greenwashing’ ideas that are supposed to suffice for environmental action.
    They are obviously just being used as a proxy by the LNP to get their HardRight ideology shoved onto the national broadcaster.

  3. Henry Rodrigues

    At the heart of all this rightwing bullshit is Murdoch whose minions monopolize the media, whether by design or by submission to his power and influence. None of the other so-called journalists, broadcasters or media figures will take a contrary point of view, they are so cowed.
    So along comes the CPAC a peculiarly american initiative well suited to the corrupted american political system, where those with the most money get the most attention and sway. Are we surprised that rabbit ears, the ranting and raving parrot on radio, the woman who wishes she could cuddle up with the rabbot forever, and that lump of putresence, who despoils the name of a true Australian icon Ned Kelly, are front and center promoting the CPAC ?????

  4. Luke Daglish

    Send Farage back to France where his Huguenot family came from, that is why he hates the French
    and the EU. A racist and a bigot and he is about to destroy GB.

  5. Aortic

    It’s centre, Henry, we have not yet been formalised as the next State of the Union, although the way things are going it won’t be long.

  6. Ross Barrell

    “…so the crowd was basically suggesting that the USA was a crime-infested country that needed fixing.”

    Um… One could be forgiven for thinking the US is crime infested given the high rate of deaths caused by right wing, assault rifle toting nut jobs roaming the streets shooting up the place. And don’t we just need an assault rifle to protect our families and hunt feral hogs…

    And BTW, Farage’s photo at the top of this piece seems apt to me. All mouth. No brain. But it’s all right. This too will pass.

  7. Henry Rodrigues

    Aortic….point taken. Our ever so loyal aussie PM is just chaffing at the bit to be included in whatever mad war mongering misadventure they are about to launch so that his moniker can be included to the list of those who ‘fought’ for freedom, democracy and the american way. What a turd he is.

  8. OldWomBat

    Every photo of farage reminds of a clown in those sideshows where you stuff a ball down its throat with the aim of winning something, usually some totally useless piece of junk to be put out on the next rubbish night.

  9. New England Cocky

    These are the consequences of the Brexit campaign led by Nigel Farage.

    SMH 130819 p26. Brexit will never last, A C Grayling.

    What do the factions in British politics want from Brexit?

    The right want to protect their assets held in offshore tax havens AFTER new EU laws come into force in January 2020. Many of the Brexit backers are high net worth individuals with BILLIONS held tax free off-shore.

    The Brexit “advisory only” referendum was a voting scandal in which almost 5 MILLION voters were excluded from the franchise, including 16 & 17 year olds, many expatriates, and EU citizens resident in Britain. Most of these excluded groups would have supported the Stay Campaign.

    The Leave campaign committed electoral fraud, were prosecuted for it and paid about $500,000 in fines and costs. Without the “advisory only” status the result would have been voided because of these crimes.

    The spurious “mandate” argument has cost the time Ministers, three governments, a lost election and will likely be reversed as soon as demographics show you voters under 50 in the majority.

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