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The New Cop on the Beat

Andrew Street and Matthew Knott’s highly entertaining and informative articles in the Sydney Morning Herald on Thursday 22nd January, give us some insight as to what we can reasonably expect from the new Minister for Social Services, Scott Morrison.

Fresh from locking up those nasty boat people and telling them they will never get to see Australia, Scott it seems, has plans to deal with that other great assault on our community values, the dreaded ‘dole bludgers’.

Whenever the LNP want to fire up the national temperature and get people boiling there’s no better subject to throw into the flames than dole bludgers.

Never mind that there is only one job for every five people currently looking for work, many of whom his own government made redundant. Scott has a plan to track these vermin down and make their lives even more difficult than they are now. Never mind also that there are no job creation plans in the pipeline for these people to apply for, either. That’s irrelevant.

Scott has appointed himself the new cop on the beat and he is gunning for rorters because, apparently, if there’s one thing that Australians despise more than illegal arrivals, it’s those who claim money from our cash strapped treasury, who could be out there knocking on doors or writing 40 job applications a week.

The minister says the crackdown is necessary to help find the NDIS. I’m sure somebody told him the NDIS was already funded but hey, that’s no reason not to crack down anyway. He knows what we won’t cop.

“But what they won’t cop, just like they won’t cop people coming on boats, is they’re not going to cop people who are going to rort that system,” he said. “So there does need to be a strong welfare cop on the beat…I will be doing that because I want to make sure this system helps the people who most need it.”

Gosh, I’m feeling better already.

nightmareI’m no longer suffering nightmares wondering if some illegal boat person is going to murder me in my bed. And now I feel safe knowing that some detestable unemployed, dole budging, lay about who thinks he can knock on my door asking for a feed, will soon be getting a call from the new cop asking a lot of very uncomfortable questions.

Way to go, Scott.

Mind you, I often wondered just how much Scott was spending stopping those horrible boat people and whether or not it would have been cheaper to bring them onshore and make their lives just as miserable while locked up in some ghastly desert camp.

He says we have to stop the bludgers to pay for the NDIS. “I see achieving the NDIS as one of the worthy goals of going through the hard tasks of reforming the welfare system to make sure we can accommodate this,” he said.

Sure, Scott sure. But is it not more a case of stopping the bludgers to pay for stopping the boats? After all, how many billions did you waste there stopping a handful of people trying to start a new life?

You have to hand it to him, though. He’s the LNP’s pinup boy at the moment. He got the job done while the rest are still floundering in their ideological mire.

Just imagine what this highly gifted, austerity warrior could do if he was let loose in the Department that handles all politicians perks? What a field day he could have there.

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  1. Keitha Granville

    “Just imagine what this highly gifted, austerity warrior could do if he was let loose in the Department that handles all politicians perks? What a field day he could have there.”
    Don’t be silly – they are a protected species. Anyone who ever suggests doing anything about trimming those entitlements is immediately bundled out of the room and sent to see Bronnie for a good talking to.

  2. diannaart

    “I see achieving the NDIS as one of the worthy goals of going through the hard tasks of reforming the welfare system to make sure we can accommodate this,” states Morrison

    Just so long as no one feels entitled to any of this NDIS stuff, right Scott?

  3. Rosemary (@RosemaryJ36)

    If the refugees and other so-called boat people were assessed more quickly, released into the community if found to not present a danger to the public and helped to find work ASAP, we would not be spending money on hurting them but earning money from taxing their pay. When you consider what many of them have gone through to make it to our shores, they are surely the sort of people who could contribute positively given a chance.
    And the thought of Scott Morrison being a welfare policeman gives me nightmares!
    Did he perchance dream of joining the Gestapo?

  4. Phi

    Good points made here John. Can we have a damned thorough and critical look into ‘pollie perks’ please – the stink of hypocrisy is nauseating so I think there is need to address it.


    Great article.

  6. gangey1959

    Scott Morison on the front cover of Playboy, or Penthouse, or Cosmo, or Cleo? Hmmmm. I’m sure his wife would buy one, bu who else?
    And I’m sorry John. If I ever knock on a strangers door, it will be to ask if they know anyone who is currently hiring highly capable and skilled over 50s of slightly unstable fitness and health.
    Another fine article

  7. edward eastwood

    Awww… geez Scottie! Does this mean that when I get my next pension payment that I’ll have to cut back on the Oysters Kirkpatrick for breakfast, washed down with Verve-Cliquot, and then off to the Royal Melbourne Golf course to play the back nine before jumping into a plane – Club Class naturally, and flopping my chops on the beach at Port Douglas for a few weeks to top up my tan? The other fellows at the Melbourne Club will be sooo disappointed.

  8. edward eastwood

    You’re a knob Morrison, get off!

  9. Carol Taylor

    One opinion I also heard was that Morrison was in reality moved sideways. The preferred rhetoric was that it was a promotion – job well done with the asylum seekers, now let’s give those ‘rorting’ disabled people and dole bludgers a thing or two.

    However, the background is that Morrison was priming himself for a go at the leadership. He had already tried to take over from J. Bishop as #1 by attempting to create a super portfolio which would have incorportated a portion of Foreign Affairs. J. Bishop objected and nothing more was heard.

    J. Bishop’s leadership aspirations have been closely watched eg having Robb as her ‘minder’ and moving her parliamentary secretary sideways. However, mooted as leader and preferred by the far right is Mr. Efficiency, Scott Morrison. Therefore take him away from where he has been receiving accolades and put him where he is likely to become hugely UNpopular..Social Services.

  10. John Kelly

    Carol, that is also my reading of Morrison’s so-called promotion.

  11. John Kelly

    Edward, what ever aged pension you are on, I want some of it.

  12. Andreas Bimba

    Putin uses gays as his scapegoat for all of Russia’s problems and it works, the bigots love him for it.

  13. Wally

    All the patting on the back Morrison has given himself and accepted from his LNP mates for supposedly stopping the boats is a total load of crock. We don’t know how big a load of crock it is because they have stopped giving figures to the press. The Malaysian solution proposed by Gillard that Abbott and Morrison blocked in parliament would have stopped the boats humanely and fairly. The threat of going back to the end of the queue for trying to enter Australia illegally on a boat would have worked. People would not pay thousands of dollars if they knew it would result in taking them longer to reach our shores. Because of this dickhead we now have people living in terrible conditions for long periods of time and it is costing us dearly both fiscally and morally.

  14. corvus boreus

    John K and Carol T,
    There is also the possible factor that they are sending in this unapologetically sociopathic headkicker, not just against welfare recipients, but into a punitive campaign against those who professionally anchor the safety net.
    I think the provision of welfare is about to receive a large and nasty ‘efficiency dividend’.

  15. musicinhills

    There are lots of scenarios, one amongst many is Scotty is well liked by people who matter and it’s quite probably that if we were to have some nasty terrorists attacks our worrier Scotty could be prime minister. In the mean time how many women and children are going to be killed and traumatised, by loving family owing husbands, incidentally isn’t this were the real terror is, try growing up in a abusive home, for the rest of your life every time you hear a loud Yell or awful sound it goes through you like being electrocuted.

  16. Kyran

    Always a good read Mr Kelly. I am guessing from the responses and commentary, others think so as well. That is reading this as satire, humour, wit. What scares the whatchamacallit out of me, is that this git would actually use this, almost verbatim, in his CV. What we may call disgrace, he wears as a medal. Oh, and happy ostraya day. Take care

  17. Carol Taylor

    Corvus, Morrison’s promotion certainly fits in with the rhetoric of ‘coming down hard on’..people with disabilities, and other highly paid bludgers swanning around on welfare. This would also be typical of PM Credlin Abbott’s strategy of “..and while we’re at it..”. Nothing is ever at face value, lurking in the background is always the real motive.

  18. Loz

    Scott is a despicable, self-righteous individual. His ambition knows no bounds. God help the less fortunate in our society with this man at the helm of Social Services.

  19. Graeme Henchel

    Scott Morrison, the dog whistling master
    Is a crucial part of the Abbott disaster
    Exploiting the misery of refugees
    Once “illegal arrivals” now “transferees”
    Ever since Tampa they’ve played the race card
    Ensuring our history is for ever scarred
    Every time they go down in the polls
    Morrison assures the bigoted proles
    Their homes are safe from the terrorist horde
    Who throw their children overboard
    Scott Morrison, a devotee of Christ
    Allows human compassion to be sacrificed
    Scott Morrison, a diabolical demagogue
    Who has mastered the art of whistling the dog
    Now Scott’s been appointed to Social Service
    Those in need should be very nervous

  20. David

    If anyone thinks Morrison will ever give up his quest to be PM, forget it. He already has a following in caucus and I don’t share the thought his current job will inhibit him one iota. As pointed out he will go after those on unemployment benefits, the red necks will love that, then whatever he believes the public will find favour in.
    He has made his mark by outwardly stopping the boats, if Abbott wanted to push him aside.welfare is hardly the place. Nope there is method in Abbott’s apparent madness, I doubt Morrison is too worried about Bishop or anyone. He is a self confident cocky evil bastard.

  21. Hyper Bollocks


    Thankfully I think you’ve got this entirely wrong. Can you name a single PM who was granted that status from such a portfolio as Morrison has now? I could be wrong, but I suspect there have been none. It’s a poison chalice. He was given the portfolio precisely to thwart any leadership ambitions he may have had.

    And I doubt your contention that Morrison has caucus support has any legs. Do you have evidence of that support?

  22. David


  23. Michael Taylor

    I share your instincts, but I don’t think he’ll win a spill. But he will keep on harbouring his ambitions.

  24. Michael Taylor

    He might not even throw his hat in the ring this time. Whoever replaces Abbott might just happen to lead the Coalition to an election loss, in which event it is highly likely that they’ll be given the chop. Morrison would be wise to wait.

  25. Peter Anson

    The new Centrelink logo could include…”Arbeit macht Frei”….over the door of his ministerial office and every centrelink office, oh and let’s not forget the church he attends and his electorate office. Should be money in it for an entepreneur .

  26. John Kelly

    ‘Work makes you free’ is a good logo. I can imagine prisoners singing that as they march off to the rock quarry.

  27. diannaart

    @Michael Taylor, much agreement. Also any new leader will be considered expendable, in order that a Lib opposition can start over with a new leader and that would be the time Morrison steps forward.

  28. Harquebus

    I don’t think that people would be as upset about dole bludgers if, they didn’t pay income tax. As I have stated before, with all of the natural resources at our disposal, no one should have to pay income tax while the likes of Gina Reinhardt get $2million/hr.
    That said, it is not how much one earns, it is how much one spends. The more one spends, the more pollution and resource depletion one causes. At $12,500/pa, compare that to $2million/hr, “dole bludgers” cause much less pollution and are much less a drain on resources and the environment than most.
    “Dole bludgers” are doing less harm than those who work to consume ever more of our finite planet.

  29. diannaart

    @John Kelly

    “Work makes you free” – expect no less from a government of fascists.

  30. Pingback: The New Cop on the Beat | THE VIEW FROM MY GARDEN

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