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Plan B

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Morrison Government Burning Money And Destroying Our Children’s Future!

It’s really unfortunate that Covid-19 has hit during a Coalition government. I mean, normally economic shocks occur when Labor is in power. The oil crisis of the 1970s, the world-wide recession of the eighties and the GFC were all used to beat Labor over the head. It’s almost like the Liberals were able to say, “Here take the wheel!” just before an upcoming storm, then take control of the ship when the waters were smooth. This time, however, Labor dodged the bullet and lost an election they were widely expected to win.

Now I’m not suggesting that Scott Morrison winning was a good thing. I’m just approaching this with all the objectivity of Dyson Heydon when he decided that he didn’t have to disqualify himself as Head of the Royal Commission into Union Corruption, because he wasn’t biased… And who would be in a better position to judge than the judge judging himself. No, I’m simply looking at this with complete objectivity…

Although reading Alexander Downer’s tweet this morning, I’m shocked to find that I’m a political opponent. According to the big Downer:

“I’m going to advise the government not to participate in #QandA. One minister and all the rest are political opponents…”

Isn’t it cute how Alex thinks anyone would take his advice? As for the composition of the QandA panel, there was performing arts representative, a youth advocate, as well as Sue Morphett whose profile showed her socialist credentials: “Sue currently holds non-executive directorships with Arnott’s Biscuits Limited, Asaleo Care Limited, and Mosaic Brands Limited, she is a member of the Corporate Council for the European Australian Business Council (EABC).”

Mm, while Bill Shorten could reasonably be described as a political opponent, the fact that Alex thinks these people are opponents says heaps about the Liberals us and them view of the world. Whether you support Labor, The Greens, Clive Palmer, Pauline Hanson or the local cricket club who wants to know why they missed on funding, you’re a political opponent. Or perhaps the best way to define it: Unless you’re a donor then you’re some sort of leftie…

Anyway, we have the rather unusual spectacle of the Coalition having to deal with difficult economic times. Unlike Labor, who seem to be responsible for everything that happens while they’re in power, the current government constantly suggests that everything was hunky-dory and this Covid-19 is a setback that wasn’t anything to do with them, so let’s all ignore all economic indicators and just give them a big pat on the back for the fact that they actually understood that keeping unemployment benefits at starvation levels would have led to the sort of collapse that made the Great Depression resemble a Gatsby party. Couple that with their realisation that they needed something like JobKeeper so that we wouldn’t actually notice that the true employment numbers actually make the GFC look like boom times.

Yes, the government has been generous. Announcing billions in funding for this and that, in the hope that the new announcement will make the public less concerned with the fact that the previous announcements haven’t been fully delivered. Or, in some cases, haven’t even been partially delivered…

Of course, this generosity can’t last. We can’t have people not wanting to work. In fact, anecdotally, somebody said that they’d be a fool to work for less money than they’re getting for staying at home, so logically we need to cut payments to everyone because we don’t want to have a situation where some people are happy not to work and only those who actually need or want a job are the ones working.

Yes, it may seem strange to some of you that we’d be concerned about the people who don’t want to work when there are more willing workers than jobs. This would be like a concert promoter being concerned because there were only a thousand people unable to get into the venue instead of the ten thousand who caused the crush which killed a few dozen people the week before. The idea that some people might be content to stay at home during this pandemic and not want to go out… I mean, the message may have been stay at home but we didn’t want you to like the idea!

We can’t afford to keep paying people for doing nothing and I’m not just talking about most of the Coalition front bench here. Ok, we don’t have jobs for everyone but the least that those who miss out could do is feel depressed and miserable about it. At least that way, the numbers of unemployed may go down because they give up looking for a job and don’t get counted any more.

And yes, some of you are going to ask if anecdotal evidence is any way to inform government policy? Well, there’s a simple answer to that which is: “I reject the premise of your question…” With any luck the person asking it won’t follow up by asking which premise, the idea that only anecdotal evidence is being used or the idea that the government has policies and isn’t just lurching from announcement to announcement in the hope that we’ve all forgotten about the notional bushfire fund?

If that doesn’t work, the response should be: “I find that a pretty offensive question…” So far no journalist has thought to respond with, “That’s a pretty offensive answer,” so it’s pretty much a great way from distracting from the central idea.

And if all else fails, use the ABC cuts tactic and deny reality completely. “Just say that there are no cuts and people on unemployment benefits are given more than enough to live on.” This is actually true. The forty dollars a day would enable someone to live in luxury if they were only able to time travel back to the 1930s or move to a country where most people are subsisting on less than two dollars a day.

So don’t worry about anything. The future is bright now. We’re getting ships and long-range missiles. That should solve all our problems. But don’t ask where the money’s coming from. That’s only a question for when we need to tackle climate change.

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  1. Keith

    On Q&A, when Paul Fletcher says that the government’s own report is wrong when quoted to him; then the credibility of the Minister goes to zero. But,in my view the best Q&A programs have been when no politicians were on the panel.
    The standout panelist was Yasmin Poole.
    In the real world everybody is held accountable, Downer apparently believes conservative politicians should not be. The facial expressions on Bill Shorten’s face were priceless, he did not need to say bloody liar.

  2. Phil Pryor

    Conservatives are the self appointed superior ruling class, despite clear proof of idiocy, retardation, stunted and arrested areas of development, criminality, bias, ignorance, stupidity, naked greed, ambitious anality, severe disorders of development, egofixation, shades of neurotic and psychopathic corruption, inadequacy, unstable character and about a hundred more…, so, A Downer (what a name, Terminal Downer) is a very good example of the egofocussed fool, complete (incomplete?) idiot type that infests conservative ranks like flies around a dead camel’s clacker. Australia is one of many nations cursed by the greed, selfishness, stupidity and aggressive vanity of this type, Utter shit in eternal and universal calculations. Our Backward Boy, the P M, a Primitive Merdemuncher, a Piltdown Man, a Pillocky Moron, is about to spend hugely on weapons to cover the Caymans money. We should be able to hold out against New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Indonesia, until help arrives from Mc Arthur again (Churchill never meant to send much). We are a huge TARGET thanks to our bases, spy centres, telescopes, Yankee outposts. We will be gone in five minutes of a Themonuclear conflict, thus giving the despicable USA a few minutes of early warning. Hoo effing Ray for Snotty Moron, our saviour and friend. Never ever vote for, or support, a brainless, heartless conservative. They’ve put up a dopey dame, paper qualified, personally defective, for a bye election in Eden Monaro, a lady without sense, honesty, outlook, required knowledge, Typical…

  3. Michael Taylor

    What Phil P said. I’m with him.

  4. Michael Taylor

    Perhaps Lord Downer could confirm if the rumours were true that on the Sunday after the Nov 2007 election loss eleven wheelie bins full of shredded documents were removed from his Parliament House office.

    I’d also like to know why he gets eleven bins for recycling. I only get 1. ☹️

  5. Jack Cade

    Phil Pryor

    Every adjective, every epithet you throw at Downer is all too accurate.
    It revealed its true character when one of its sperm that had managed to fertilise his woman’s egg was roundly rejected by the citizens of Mount Barker and environs, in favour of a female candidate who had herself presumably been rejected by the sewage that determines who will represent the party of privilege in our national parliament. The Downer creature railed against the ‘scum from the suburbs’ who had lately infested the land surrounding its family estate, (itself having been sundered in the name of progress by Sir Thomas Playford, whose gerrymander enabled him to tell Downer senior to ‘go forth and multiply’ whereupon he ripped up the Downer ancestral estate for a freeway.
    And didn’t have the grace to name it the Downer…

  6. DrakeN

    “Fishnets” Downer is descended from a long line of opportunist, law defying, self serving physcopaths – right back to the earliest settlers in South Australia.
    It’s deeply embedded in their DNA.

  7. Alc

    Downer, Pyne, Abbott, Andrews, Abetz, Cash, Morrison, Dutton et al, where do these Lib nutcases arise from and who votes for the bastards. And don’t get me started on Joyce, McCormack either. We are in the greatest crisis in decades and we get Scumbo, Johnson and Trump. I fear for my kids and grand kids.

  8. Grumpy Geezer

    I’d always thought our plummy-vowelled, whey-faced Tory twat would meet a suitable end – found trouserless, hanged by his fishnets from a London bridge with a feather duster up his arse, his tadger decorated with glitter and an empty bottle of Pimms at his feet.

    Never mind. Irrelevance is a far worse fate for this laughable, wannabe hooray henry.

  9. Michael Taylor

    Grumpy, how many wheelie bins do you get?

  10. Grumpy Geezer


    They’re not used that much. I’m a paperless office. Plausible deniability.

    (Hi to Spud’s various goon squads. If you’re reading this, GFY!)

  11. DrakeN

    Michael, there are only two of humans and a couple of cats in our household but like much larger families we still are allocated one rubbish and one recycling wheelie bin.
    People keep enquiring as to our presence at home in the light of ours rarely being presented for collection more than once a month 😉
    Our saintly aversion to packaged goods and a thriving composting system is why.
    It is good that there are more than one human in the house otherwise we would possibly hurt ourselves in the contortions neccessary to pat our own backs 😀
    “Fishnets” et al are first class wasters in more ways than just shredded documents.

  12. Michael Taylor

    Drake, Downer probably got his staff to pinch a few wheelie bins when it hit home in his pea-sized brain that the days of the Howard government were numbered.

    I’m wondering how much of that shredded stuff contained evidence against him in the Oil for Wheat scandal. Or info that Witness K could desperately do with.

  13. Michael Taylor

    Grumpy, I couldn’t imagine how a miser like you would even need a bin. 😁

  14. Vikingduk

    Why does lord Mogadon of downer have eleven wheelie bins, well, he donated one dozen pairs of fishnet stockings and a Fetching pair of Jimmy Choo stilettos to the wheelie bin man who was most impressed. Bug free says the downer, weren’t needed in Timor, wheely, trust me, look here, sez the downer, this stain here, that’d be the mincing poodle, the shriek who walks had just made her entrance fetchingly attired in a black cummerbund, young chris couldn’t contain himself. What a night, baaarnaby with his mistress, Baarbara, that winsome ewe from the back paddock, phoney tony pissed as a newt rooting a cardboard cutout of the credible credlin, the lying rodent led us in song . . . yo, what we gonna do chop em up like the saudis do, la la la, yo, what we gonna do inject em with the Kung flu de de de dum. Ah, those were the days.

    I reckons that the smirking jerk needs two arseholes he’s so full of shit, oh wait, that’s right, deputy what’s his name takes care of the overflow and, really, Fiji is prime for an invasion and those Tasmanians been getting a bit uppity, so yep, more toys for the boys. Actually, the scent of napalm is good anytime of the day or night and jeez donny dipshit will love us and the Chinese will really appreciate the practice. Win win.

    Oh lord won’t ya buy me an AK-47, my friends all have winchesters I must make amends. Well, f#ck this, even being silly don’t help.

  15. Kerri

    So many journalists and so few intellects?
    Just accept the bluster and surrender to the tish!
    Given the journos in the US are finally beginning to realise there is strength in numbers and if every one of them continues the main line of questioning the politicians and their toadies have nowhere to go!
    “I reject the premise of that question!”
    “With all due respect Prime Minister, it is not my job to ask you only the questions you want to answer and it is most certainly your job to answer the questions asked on behalf of Australian voters!”

  16. wam

    Thank boobby for the miracle and thank christine for ‘where the money’s coming from’

    “I reject the premise of your question…Why is he allowed to say it without being asked why??
    a bloody fair % of the country think smirko has done a good job so he will need to go to an election before we find out he has f*cked up worse than andrews.

    Eden monaro is a noted bellwether seat. Surely melb labor stacking, long range crackers and under/over water drones and covid should make it a landslide and an election
    ps tommy stott kept playford in power both born in 19th C and benevolent dinosaurs

  17. Andrew J. Smith

    More evidence that the big ‘C’ libertarian and/or nativist conservatives are gearing up for (a media based) war through building up Morrison as some authoritative leader; nowadays dribbling all over ‘progressive’ Victoria since unilaterally breaking the Covid-19 truce.

    If one looks at their ideological counterparts in the US where Trump is losing credibility with GOP voters and in the UK Johnson and Brexit team (against a now proper opposition leader in Starmer) are also being humiliated over handling of Covid-19 and coming economic trauma; they should be concerned…..

  18. leefe

    To be fair, “That’s a pretty offensive answer” could be applied to everything that comes out of Morriscum’s mouth.
    And Downer’s.
    And every Liberal or national politician I can think of . . .

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