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Mathias The Misunderstood!

Ok, much has been made of Mathias Cormann’s so-called gaffe.

Of course, most people are presuming that Mathias’ illiteracy – I mean he did come here from a foreign land so he must be illiterate, right… Well, certainly he’d have to be innumerate because he’s Finance Minister in a Liberal Government.

Anyway, most people are presuming that when Mathias said, “Bill Shorten is very caring and very much in touch and Bill Shorten every single day is promoting our national economic plan for jobs and growth, which of course is exactly what Australia needs given the continued global economic headwinds,” that it was a mistake.

However, this is the sort of cultural misunderstanding that people frequently have when they’re dealing with people who are so different. You know, people like foreigners… Or Liberal Party front-benchers… Or back-benchers… Or indeed, anyone who thought that Tony Abbott did a good job!

No, Mr Cormann did not mean to say “Malcolm Turnbull” when he said “Bill Shorten”. What people are failing to realise is that when Mathias called Bill “caring” it was meant to be an insult. Sort of like when the Right refer to people as “bleeding hearts” as though hearts aren’t meant to release any blood. You know, in same sort of way that governments are never to release any of our taxes by spending them on us. They’re meant to accumulate them in the form of surpluses, so that we know that it’s far better for us to spend an extra five bucks for our doctor’s visit because if it came out our taxes then the government might have a deficit and then we couldn’t criticise Labor… Aw shit, if we have a deficit, it must surely be Labor’s fault anyway…

You see, “caring” is a form of abuse in politics these days.

Sort of like when Barnaby Joyce told us that he was Hannibal Lecter when referring to Jonny Depp and his dogs. He didn’t mean that anybody should infer that he actually ate human flesh. It was just his way of demonstrating that he had no actual empathy for animals being slaughtered, or anyone who wasn’t a fellow front bencher… Mm, much of a muchness… Of course, when he attempted to suggest that Labor’s decision to suspend live cattle exports to Indonesia with an increase in boat numbers, he went a step too far and demonstrated that he had no actual understanding that – in diplomatic circles – it’s not considered cool to accuse a neighbouring country of aiding people smugglers in order to get back at you. It’s even more uncool if it happens to be true, because then one would have to concede that it wasn’t Labor’s actual policies on “border protection”, but their policies on the ethical killing of animals that caused the upsurge in boat arrivals… which sort of brings us back to Depp’s dogs.

And, in a strange sort of way, helps me make my point about Mathias meaning it as an insult when he called Bill Shorten “caring”. Let’s be clear here, if you’re not Hannibal Lecter, you’re not fit to be Deputy PM.


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  1. Jack Russell

    Hannibal ate rude people…

  2. Gangey1959

    Does that mean that because I understood all of that I am, or am not fit to be deputy pm?
    Or can we just let depp’s dogs eat cori’msarthefricann ?

  3. Gangey1959

    Dear old mathias is not misunderstood, he is just unintelligible. Something to do with his haircut I think. Or maybe he’s just plain stupid.

  4. Sam

    He SOUNDS like German Information officer from 2nd world war trying to stay on message in trying to convince the Jews that they should leave their luggage at the station because there is so much Job’s and Growth in Auschwitz..

  5. mark

    right wing german nutter,if people can’t see that,we’re in trouble.mark

  6. jim

    Tony Abbott did not stop the boats. but the debate proceeds, assisted by journalists who still claim that Tony Abbott stopped the boats. He didn’t. ……..

    Not only did Tony Abbott not stop the boats, but he, together with the Greens was responsible for the dramatic increase in boat arrival numbers after the rejection of the Malaysian arrangement in August 2011.

    What largely stopped the boats, although not completely, was the announcement by Kevin Rudd on the 19th July 2013 that in future any persons coming by boat and found to be a refugee would not be settled in Australia. We may argue about the wisdom of that policy, but it effectively crippled the business case of the people-smugglers.
    Between July and September 2013, people arriving by boat fell from 4,145 to 837 and the number of boats fell from 47 to 15…….
    Source: Department of Immigration and Border Protection, and Australian Parliamentary Library.

    John Menadue. A graph on boat arrivals for lazy journalists.

  7. etnorb

    Ve have vays off saying tings, just becauze ve are from a foreign place, it doss not mean ve are stupit! Ya!
    Unfortunately for ALL Australians this inept, lying incompetent is just another of the (very!) many in his party, who are trying to win an election based on lies, half-truths & twisting of facts! I shudder to think what will happen if this bloody lot of incompetents wins the election. Another great article Rossleigh!

  8. jimhaz

    Cormann = Terminator = Machine Man = No empathy or at least strangely programmed empathy.

    Turnbulls switching between good cop and bad cop has him all confused – that is supposed to be his job!

    He needs a reboot. In fact lets all try booting him.

  9. Heidi

    Even Heimi the robot from Get Smart had compassion. Not sure the girlie man has had that programed into him yet !

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