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Malcolm Turnbull Longest Serving PM, Kim Jong-un’s Australian Schooling And 1924!

From time to time, I do the quiz in “The Age” on my iPad. Every now and then, it surprises me. For example, it gave the answer to the question, “In what year did Malcolm Turnbull become Prime Minister?” as “1975”. (No, it didn’t say Malcolm Fraser! I checked it twice.)  A few days later, I discovered that Kim Jong-un’s Western Education took place in a country called “Woolloomooloo”. That day, I was also stunned to discover – a few questions later – that Switzerland was a suburb in Sydney.

Ok, we all make mistakes. After all how many of us thought that Malcolm Turnbull had moral fibre…

Oh. I see. Yes, you’re right. We only had to remember the whole Godwin Grech fiasco… Or indeed, the fact that he was happy to stand there while Tony Abbott insisted that as the person who practically invented the Internet in Australia, he was clearly the best qualified Coalition MP to take on the job of wrecking the NBN…

Actually the idea of “inventing” something, but only in your own country I found an interesting concept. Usually that’s simply called “stealing”. You know, here’s the man who “invented” Rolex watches in China. But let’s not talk about Rolex watches because that might remind everyone of the time those Liberals accepted a gift of a fake Rolex watch which turned out to be genuine.

Before I get distracted on a trip down the best SNAFU moments of those boys in Canberra we laughingly refer to as the government, I’d better get back to the topic. (Yes, yes I know there’s a couple of girls but generally they’re only trotted out for ceremonial occasions like the Melbourne Cup or raids on union offices) Staying on topic is important when you’re writing something; straying off topic is a necessary skill for a politician…

Perhaps I’ve missed my calling anyway:

ACCURACY

Lately, there have been a few moments where the media has been accused of getting it wrong. The Dumpster (aka Donald Trump) tweeted that the media was full of fake news because they were 91% negative about him. I don’t know whether you can accuse the media of being “fuill” of fake news when only 9% got it wrong, but before you accuse me of being one of those latte-sipping, chardonnay-swilling inner city hipsters, I’d just like to say that occasionally people you disagree with,  get it right. A difference of opinion and a difference of accuracy are not the same things.  I’m pretty willing to take on any bets about the quiz being wrong about Kim Jong-un going to Woolloomooloo for his schooling. After all the question asked “What country…” and unless I’ve missed something Woolloomooloo was still part of Australia.

So, I was extremely pleased to read Andrew Bolt’s column about the ABC this week because he accurately told us why the government was cutting its funding. It was because they were running stories that reflect poorly on the government  and, as such, deserved to be punished. Ok, you may have a difference of opinion with both Andrew and me here: You may think that the ABC isn’t running enough stories that point out what an incompetent mob of muddlers they are. But I would argue that whenever the ABC publicises anything that a Coalition MP does or says, then they’re showing the government in a poor light. Similarly, reporting what’s actually happening is to be positively hostile to the Coalition. After all, Andrew’s paper rarely does it.

Of course, this begs the question, if it’s ok for the current government to punish the ABC for not running the party line, does that make it ok for a Labor government to do it in future. Naturally, Mr Bolt would say no. After all, his column frequently suggests that it’s only white men with lots of money who have certain rights, so any time you suggest that they’re wrong is inhibiting their free speech, so if you’re one of those lefty people you should just shut up or be sacked, jailed or run out of the country… (Big “Hi” to you Yassmin!)

Still, Andrew Bolt wasn’t the only conservative saying strange things in the past few days. Rudy Giuiiani’s suggestion that Comey was fired because he wouldn’t tell Trump that he wasn’t the target of an investigation does tend to suggest that the accusations of trying to obstruct justice can’t be too wide of the mark.

And, of course, we have the Federal Budget. And this year it’s that magical, just before an election one where everything that the government has done is working and there’s no problems and everything’s going so smoothly that we can give Big Business billions of dollars. Not only that, but we’ve got $500 in a tax rebate for some of you… After the election, but trust us, we’re the grown-ups.

Oh, things may going well and we’ll be back in surplus next year. but that doesn’t mean that the ABC doesn’t have to tighten its belt… Oh, it doesn’t have a belt any more? Guthrie got rid of it? Anyway, we need a few million from the ABC to pay for your tex cuts in 2024.

2024, you know. The year when we’ll have got our coal-fired power stations actually reducing emissions, and we will have – like King Canute – turned back the rising sea levels. 2024 the year when Adani will announce that they intend to start mining sometime “in the very near future just as soon as funding has been settled”. 2024, the year when we’ll have had five surplus budgets delivered by Scott Morrison and we’ll be having a national holiday to remember Peter “Nobody else will deliver a surplus in my lifetime” Costello. 2024, when Dutton’s super ministry will still be holding all those nasty people protesting about spending more on Captain Cook commemorations than on reducing domestic violence.

And yes, ASIC is have $26 million cut from its funding. What’s ASIC? Don’t worry, it’s just one of the things that should have been looking into the banks, but now we’ve had the Royal Commission, the banks have said sorry and there’s really not as much work for ASIC to do because we’ve fixed it all up.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe “The Age” was right and Malcolm has been PM since 1975. It certainly seems like it’s been far too long.


17 comments

  1. Henry Rodrigues

    Great takedown of Turdball and his motley crew. Can’t wait for the Turd to drum up the courage to call an early election to test his budget against Bill’s. The look on his and Morrisson’s mugs together with the rest of the fools during Bill reply to Budget, said it all.

  2. Kaye Lee

    You are a treasure Rossleigh.

  3. Keitha Granville

    you write so eloquently, makes my day every time !

  4. helvityni

    Enjoyed that one enormously…that reminds me of Julia Baird wishing us all an excellent evening at the end of her show…It’s for all of us, both the left and the right and what’s in-between: ABC is FAIR…( Tuesday evening was not so excellent for me, Scottie spoiled it.)

    Bill made my Thursday night OK, he remembered all that Scot forgot…

  5. John Boyd

    Didn’t I hear the treasurer say explicitly that ASIC would be given extra powers and resources??

  6. Jaquix

    Since this was written, more deceits have come to light in Morrisons budget. Firstly, the 14,000 “extra home care packages” announced, are actually not new funding at all, theyve pinched the cost from the residential care sector funding! And when 20,000 applicants joined the waiting list for home care, in the last 6 months, you can see this is a drop in the ocean. So much for the commitment for aged care that Turnbull announced.
    Secondly, the Libs are taking $47 million from the $84 million being taken off the ABC, to fund the Captain Cook memorial thingey in his own electorate! They admitted it to SBS!
    And, thirdly, theyve stripped $26 million dollars and 30 investigator positions, from ASIC !!! The body which is meant to be holding the banks to account, when there isnt a Royal Commission doing its work for it.

  7. helvityni

    Yes, Henry,enjoyed watching his face; it started with smirks, but soon soured, and he tried some pretend fun, no doubt saying something mean about Bill to Ms Julie and the Poodle…

  8. etnorb

    Great column, as usual Rossleigh! Your quiz from the Age is probably exactly what you thought, a very bad quiz with wrong answers to many questions! The trouble is that now the Age & the SMH are printed in country Victoria, & with so little editorial staff etc, proofreading has become a thing of the past! Even Media Watch has taken shots at the often shoddy editorial work & bad journalism from both the Age & the SMH. They are still much more reliable & “truthful” than ANY of Mudrakes press, but, sadly, because of so much cost-cutting & staff shedding they are not up to the standard they were 10 years ago!

  9. Henry Rodrigues

    Helvityni…… Morrison, Jules, Poodles, the poser from Point Piper and rest of the creeps. have one thing in common, no compassion but plenty of bile. Come the election and their number’s up. Bill got under their skin alright. The truth always does.

  10. Terry2

    This is just so annoying that Turnbull seems to be getting away with targeting Labor parliamentarians on dual-citizenship but won’t permit scrutiny by the HC of Liberal politicians.

    Do you remember Jason Falinski of whom Lawyers at Arnold Bloch Leibler conceded they “cannot conclusively advise on foreign law and recommend that you seek independent advice from foreign law experts”, which Mr Falinski has not done.

    Again, the born to rule attitude : the Labor Party need to develop some mongrel instincts if they are to counter these bastards.

  11. diannaart

    Rossleigh

    Malcolm Turnbull/Fraser quiz question… you, my friend, have caught a glimpse of a parallel universe … the one where Liberal Politicians rule for life …

    I am hoping to slip through the space/time continuum into the parallel world where life is valued and bullies treated kindly but kept away from any powerful or influential work. Goes without saying skin colour, gender and other features we regard as differences are not even a topic for discussion because variety is considered an essential part of the tapestry of life.

  12. paul walter

    Typo.

    Longest (Self) Serving Prime Minister.

  13. helvityni

    Good one Paul, short and to the point…

  14. Glenn Barry

    The biggest story being told whilst Morriscum delivered his budget was written all over the faces of those on his side of the parliament – the did not look supportive, they did not look happy, they did not look convinced – THEY LOOKED GLUM!!

    Watching the faces on the LNP mugs during the budget reply speech was even more of a treat – they just looked awkward, most either looked like their laxatives were beginning to take effect, others looked like the laxative effect caught them off guard, whilst a few full of shit MP’s – Dutton for example played games on their phones

    Turnbully is having an elongated epiphany – he looks exhausted, sounds awful, lies unenthusiastically and is generally deplorable – I think he knows he’s done…

    Every time Bill said “because we’re not giving big business, multinationals and the big four banks an 80 billion dollar tax handout” – Malcolm’s end drew closer

  15. paul walter

    Did you notice how hidden Bechamel Foreclaws, the member who reckoned how she could live on $38 a day, stayed?

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