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Let me pierce you with my eyes . . .

I swear, you could not make this stuff up.

Late yesterday it was revealed that Immigration Minister Peter Dutton sent a text describing journalist Samantha Maiden as “that mad f*cking witch” to, wait for it, the “mad f*cking witch” herself, in error. (True)

Apparently he was in a crowded bar after a hard day, the hour was late and he was far from home. A passing femme fatale brushed up against him with her ample breast, and his finger slipped as he was scrolling through his contacts list. (I made that bit up.)

This next bit is true, based on the information we’ve been given. Dutton’s text was meant for Jamie Briggs, who lost his ministerial portfolio only hours earlier after allegedly sexually harassing a subordinate in a crowded bar after a long day when he was far from home and she pierced him with her eyes.

Maiden had just published a column critical of Briggs’ behaviour and apparently Dutton’s text was in response to that criticism, and intended to give Briggs support in his time of trouble. After all, what man needs to listen to the opinions of a mad f*cking witch?

Dutton was a member of the governance sub-committee who unanimously decided Briggs had to go, so his vehement disagreement with Maiden’s opinion appears, at first blush, odd. But we are used to odd from the Immigration Minister, aren’t we.

By now Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, who seems to have retreated to his multi-million dollar bunker with harbour views to have a good think, might be wishing he’d stayed in merchant banking, as one cabinet minister after another redefines the outer limits of sleaze, sexism, and stupid.

These things frequently, like Tony Abbott’s slogans (and the witches in Macbeth, lololololol) come in threes, so who will be next? I’m keeping my fingers crossed it’s Scott Morrison.

It must be a source of great frustration for Turnbull that his ministers are unable to keep their contempt for women in check, given his recent blatherings on the need for men to show respect towards us as the first step in ending epidemic proportions of violence against us. Ordered by their leader to control their primitive urges, Briggs and Dutton have finally broken bad with the sense of entitlement and contemptuous verbal abuse we are now seeing is the default position of LNP males towards women.

Sooner or later it’s going to sink in that while they might get away with all manner of perfidy, the time when they can abuse women and get away with it is rapidly coming to an end. Or they’ll die out, like the dinosaurs they are, in the unstoppable onslaught of the Mad F*cking Witches’ meteoric wrath.

I cannot wait to see how The Australian journalist Chris Kenny writes up this latest episode. Kenny is a great believer in taking legal action against those who cause him offence. Some of you may remember the controversial suggestion made by The Chaser some years ago that Kenny was a dog f*cker, the raising of which possibility landed them in court and caused the ABC to humbly apologise for any tasteless insinuations of bestiality. Logically, Kenny ought to be urging Maiden and the woman in the Hong Kong bar with piercing eyes to call their lawyers, though Kenny and logic are really not words that should appear in the same sentence.

witchesToday we are all Mad F*cking Witches as, apparently, any woman with a mind and an opinion who doesn’t want to be barefoot and pregnant or a member of the LNP, must be. So this Mad F*cking Witch is making a voodoo dolly and buying pins while considering original places where the sun don’t shine in which she might park her broomstick while she does the ironing.

Here’s the thing. It’s very straightforward. Don’t touch us without permission. Don’t verbally abuse us, especially if you don’t know how to send a text. This is what respect means, you dumb f*cking warlocks, and if you can’t get your cabbage heads around that come here, and let me pierce you with my eyes. I’m a witch. My gaze is fatal.

This article was originally published on No Place For Sheep.



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  1. bobrafto

    come here, and let me pierce you with my eyes. I’m a witch. My gaze is fatal.

    In the distant future can I consult you for a euthanasia service?

  2. hforward22

    Excellent article. Keep up the good work.

  3. townsvilleblog

    This rag tag government is beginning to fall apart at the seams, I suppose Ewen Jones will come out and say Peter is a friend of mine and he’s a good bloke as he did with the other turkey.

  4. Roswell

    Meanwhile, the main story on the ‘front page’ of is this:

    ‘I was drunk, horny and alone’: MP explains sex text scandal with 17-year-old job applicant

    It was a British Labour politician FFS! Where’s Dutton.

    Second top story was about Jarryd Hayne. Again. Still. Who cares.

  5. Klaus

    This is a great piece of work. That dumb shit decides, being of superior character, who may need to be removed from Australia. The same dumb shit talks about ‘..water lapping at their doorstep…’. Mind boggling that this guy is allowed to judge anyone of ‘lesser’ character than himself. TB doesn’t have the guts to remove him and send Morrison, Brandis, Pyne straight into the abyss.

  6. bobrafto

    The journalist labelled a “mad f—ing witch” by Peter Dutton

    On Monday, Education Minister Simon Birmingham praised Mr Dutton for owning up to the text mishap and acting quickly to stop a “witch hunt”.

    No, you can’t make up this shit, they are channeling Monty Python.

  7. Backyard Bob

    I’m sure if the article had been written by a male they would have been subject to a few choice terms as well, but for me the most curious thing is the intended recipient of the text. It was reported that of the sub-committee members Dutton was the one who most expressed reservations about the action they ultimately took. I guess we should not be surprised, given who Dutton is and his form on so many fronts. I agree it must be a nightmare for Turnbull to be surrounded by so many degenerates.

    Hmmm, can you FOI the content of a government phone? That would be fun. Yes, he probably used his personal phone but the idea strikes me as something akin to humorous.

  8. Peter F

    The adults really are showing their true colours aren’t they. Mind you, they lost my respect when they drew numbers out of a hat to send young men to Vietnam for their own political purposes. ( I was too old, but only just). . . . . . . They just keep getting worse.

  9. paul walter

    if Briggs has gone, why not Dutton, an even more unpleasant individual?

  10. roaminruin

    These guys know sleaze. A lip-licking, winking, wall-punching arse-grabber is their hero after all.

  11. martin connolly

    PLEASE let it be Morrison next PLEASE

  12. Matthew Oborne

    Roswell,possibly an attempt at confusing the issues for people and in so doing muddying the waters in favour of the Liberal Party

  13. Sen Nearly Ile

    Dutton’s language pretty well fits the consistent male empathy with briggs’ approach to women and grog. The affected women should hit the courts because at least one will have problems even reaching the glass ceiling in her public service career.
    Wonder who is going to ask the opinion of any of the liberal women?(are there any national women??)

  14. longwhitekid

    I’m hoping it’s Dutton next. As soon as Turnbull succeeded, for some reason I suspected it would not be long before Dutton was out. I’m no fan of the new PM but it does seem like he deliberately reshuffled the cabinet into positions where he had deliberated they’d fail.

  15. Julia

    My only worry is that Abbott will notice all these holes in the portfolios and put up his hand to do them all! Wait – that’s not a worry, that’s a nightmare.
    On the other hand, maybe they will have to hand some out to Labor and the Greens, just to keep the process of government in train

  16. johnlord2013

    At some time in the human narrative… our history, man declared himself superior to women. It must have been an accident, or at least an act of gross stupidity. But that’s men for you”

  17. Matthew Oborne

    Perhaps the Liberals beieve all women are stupid because all the smart ones were burned at the stake?

  18. kerri

    Jennifer? By “odd” I assume you mean hypocritical?

  19. Kaye Lee

    And they question why Dutton was axed from the national security committee?

    Briggs Chief of Staff also lost his phone the night they were out on the piss.

    To paraphrase George Brandis: The position is, I’m sorry to say, that the people have lost confidence in the Minister for Immigration.

  20. Terry2

    What is the male equivalent insult for ‘witch’ – which, incidentally seems to be a Liberal Party favourite when it comes to women they don’t like or respect which, it seems is most of the feminine gender.

    Looking at P Duddy’s photo, “knob-head’ comes to mind.

  21. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    You’ve nailed it again, Jennifer Wilson. Well done.

    I want to join the ‘Mad F*cking Witch’ brigade too!

    I can’t wait to see Jamie Briggs, Peter Dutton and of course Snotty Morrison all holding hands as they’re shown the exit from Parliament House for the last time never to be seen again.

  22. Matthew Oborne

    Scott Morrison is their superstar. He stared down accountability, transparency and human decency and apparently won. So much so that Barrie Cassidy even wrote a piece Outlining Morrisons stellar abilities, going by the benchmark of his remarks Slobodan Milosevic would also qualify as an exceptional politician.

  23. lawrencewinder

    Good article… truth and Liarbril values never intersect, Ethical behaviour from this ruling rabble is beyond them and any capacity for humility service to the community at large evaporated under Little Johnnie! When is this stupid electorate going to wake up that these shysters are not interested in the public wellbeing but only that of their IPA and corporate masters!

  24. hemingway13

    This column is exceptionally lucid, but also saddening that our society will tolerate this vicious public vilification of a woman by a cabinet minister. From a federal cabinet that has an egregiously low percentage of female ministers yet.

    How many potentially competent women MPs have been stuck as Liberal Backbenchers while the likes of Dutton, Brough and Briggs were gifted “Peter Principle” promotion to the top portfolios. Maiden has, of course, followed Murdoch’s orders to laugh off her abuser’s insult and stated that Dutton should not be stripped of his ministry. Her jocular tone and Orwellian deletion of the F word (now being copycatted by ABC24 news channel to fool the public into accepting that Dutton had called her a “mad witch”) constitutes very effective damage control by our Murdoch-dominated MSM.

    No prizes for guessing how loudly all the Murdochian tabloids’ front pages would be screaming bloody murder if any sort of attack on their political editor had been perpetrated by a Labor Pollie.

    Thank goodness for AIMN.

  25. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    The ABC seems to only be quoting: “Mad witch” too, not “Mad F*cking Witch”. The Orwellian white-washing of the language is spreading. This is another sad indictment on the ABC being compromised.

  26. David

    @Mathew Oborne…great response Mathew along with the others. I and many here from time to time have said it over and over, Dutton is a major catastrophe in waiting…but while he is great for Labor, not the country. Oh the dilemma for the snake oil salesman PM, the more the merrier.
    Incidentally ABC News reported earlier on News Radio, Turnbull was so anxious to be seen to be scrupulously fair when deciding Briggs dismissal from the Ministry, he called in Dutton and Morrison, both like Briggs Abbott supporters, to ensure the finger couldn’t be pointed at him with accusations of payback for supporting the mad one in the leadership spill.
    This bunch of Tory conservative bullies and sexists should rerun Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech to Parliament, find the nearest mirror and get the answer, it will be staring at them.
    So far not a word publicly from that bastion of womens rights Julie Bishop re Briggs dismissal or any of her female colleagues.

  27. brickbob

    Latest breaking news””””’ Runaway freight train spotted in Canberra has now reached speeds of up to 150 klms an hour and gaining speed as we speak,the train is full of LNP politicians and is driverless and totally out of control, and rescue crews from all around the country cannot be called to help until at least March.

    Un named sources also say the train is occupied by a large number of Australian journalist,but for some reason no reports are being filed on this potential train wreck, only fuzzy motherhood statements are being released at this stage.

    If the train is not stopped by the end of March it could end up as the biggest train wreck in Australias history.

  28. hemingway13

    As usual, J M-S, you are spot on! The Libs have now appointed a woman (former longtime Murdoch Minion, including Foxtel and Star TV Michelle Guthrie) to head the ABC in order to provide camouflage for their mission of turning a once proud ABC TV News into SkyNews Lite.

  29. Deanna Jones

    Thanks, Jennifer, brilliant work.

    I think these clowns are competing early for the Ernie nominations.

  30. terry

    probably a double dipper too

  31. Michael

    Promotion at the Liberal Newsletter me thinks is assured.
    Is it time, at the current level of minister laxative effect and with what is known to today, a job description and kpi assessment (progressive stages from before birth) would be very handy to compile for those aspiring to the highest echelons of LNP power?

  32. virtualnonsense

    You’re right, you simply can’t make this shit up. And just when you think you’ve seen all the episodes, the LNP bring out more! I’m fast running out of popcorn; watching the train-wreck that is this government is beyond farcical. Great article!

  33. Not Sure

    This is the thing; Verbal abuse is only such when it is directed at a person with the intent that they hear it. This was a conversation between two people, but someone was dumb enough to send it to the person he was having a whinge about. So he called her a witch! Big deal. Asbestos Julie called Plibersek a bitch. Is that okay? Is it like when an African-American calls another African-American the ‘N’ word? As for Briggs, it is alleged. Make a gesture of getting the police to investigate at the very least. As for the piercing blue eyes remark, remember when Dustin Hoffman was being interviewed by Jana Wendt and he kept going on about her eyes? BFD. Also not, I would never vote Liberal.

  34. Kaye Lee

    Dustin Hoffman is an actor and it is an interviewer’s technique to put them at their ease in the hope they let something slip. Bad comparison. As for Briggs’ actions being alleged, don’t you believe his confession on tv?

    Do you think it is ok to denigrate women as long as it is done in private? You don’t think pervasive attitudes matter? Do you think this is an appropriate way for anyone to speak let alone a politician who should be setting some sort of standard hopefully?

  35. Deanna Jones

    No, it is a big deal, not sure. A very big deal when a male elected public official within a system predicated upon gender inequality that benefits his own gender makes disparaging remarks about a member of the subordinate group and those remarks are made public. This packs a much harder ideological punch and props up the existing social order in a way that Bishop’s attack on Plibersek never can. This is a huge deal in fact.

  36. silkworm

    The attack on Samantha Maiden is different from the attack on Gillian Triggs. The attack on Triggs, by Brandis and MacDonald, was calculated, and against a (perceived) political opponent, but the attack on Maiden is against one of their own. Maiden is a mad* Abbott supporter. This attack was really unprovoked, and just goes down to Dutton’s poor character, but the attack on one of their own – the far right attacking the far right – means that the core is falling apart.

    *By calling her a “mad f– witch” he did indeed get the first part right.

  37. Stephen

    Strangely convenient though how Gondsky and PBS cuts have disappeared from the headlines for a silly media beat up which did not even seem to bother the journalist herself. Still I’m probably a conspiracy nut why look for ulterior reasons when the usual stupidity will explain it?

    Still it was either very good timing or very convenient.

    Got to love the main stream media always bringing the news and facts we need to make good judgment and assessment of our leaders, nothing better than in-depth journalism from highly trained professionals.


  38. Backyard Bob

    Samantha Maiden: “Dutton is a good minister.” I’m rethinking that text right about now 🙂

  39. terry

    poor Dutton , everyone can see how u would get confused between briggs and maiden, their nearly the same spelling . good too see such a great role model in the campaign ” respect for woman ” . glad he phoned her straight away, made everything better ,bloody good bloke

  40. Kaye Lee

    Maiden relies on her cultivated relationships for her income. As if she is going to kill one of her prime gooses.

    As for this being a deliberate deflection away from substantive news, I have several opinions. Yes it is convenient for the government but too much to be deliberate. I have found that people like to read about when we catch people out more so than our grand ideas about a better way to run the country. If the general public (or better still the government) paid heed to John Kelly’s articles we would be well on the way to fixing many of our problems with no pain but they would rather read about Abbott’s daughter being given a dodgy scholarship or some buffoon who thinks a disgusting menu denigrating our PM in the most sexist of ways is funny.

    I do, however, feel it is way past time that Australians were made to confront the sexism that is endemic in our culture and that all of us must be loud in saying it has to stop.

  41. Rossleigh

    The idea that it was a conversation between two people was never something that Liberals seemed to consider when they were squawking about the sexist nature of Peter Slipper’s texts.
    Hope they don’t try that defence now! ?
    Remembering that it was Abbott’s posturing on that which led to Julia Gillard’s misogyny speech.

  42. terry

    no its not on , just another downgrade on woman from a thug . will never change if its comes from the front bench of government .

  43. Kyran

    Sooo, wait a minute. A fool, who’s idiocy is well documented (even on MSM), read’s an article written by a sycophantic fool about a narcissistic fool. He should be congratulated for reading, based on his performance to date. Given his clearly documented stupidity, it can come as no surprise that he text’s the wrong fool in response. It is not surprising he has both fools phone numbers on his phone. But, are the numbers so similar he became confused? Given this fool’s level of competency, he probably has them stored under ‘Snookie 1’ and ‘Snookie 2’ and merely pushed the wrong snookie. Which begs another question. If one fool sends a text to another fool, which fool sent the text to the media?
    As for the rightfully indignant female government members, their silence has been truly deafening.
    There’s a Somali lass, Abyan (not her true name). Her torture, whilst in our care, made it back into media circulation a few days ago. Kellie Tranter published some articles alleging mutton misled parliament, after she received FOI responses. Those article’s have disappeared from media cycles.
    So what, he ‘apparently’ lied.
    It is inconsequential that this moron, this fool, is meant to be the custodian, the caretaker, of people who desperately need our care and protection. Are we now seeking his advice, comment or opinion about anything? Oh, goody, we can get a second opinion from……
    Thank you, Ms Wilson. You may have guessed I don’t think much of this git (don’t know where you would have guessed it). That discussion’s like this continue to distract from discussion’s about humanity and decency is beyond me. Take care

  44. Jennifer Wilson

    Hi Bobrafto, thank you for giving me the idea for a new career. 🙂

    Thanks for reading, everyone.

    Cheers, Jennifer.

  45. bobrafto

    Not a problem, Jennifer, always like to see talent shine!

  46. terry

    their good,can get u focused on one issue , and they make u forget they are all on the same team and the right wing getting paid the big dollars , the inside trading will be unreal with another term , does not matter what happens . the end game is winning another term and keeping turnbull looking good . what if they replaced Dutton with a woman ? got me guessing still even if abbott does not return still makes turnbull look good . turnbull has gone into hiding , and the press just laughing it off ,briggs stuffup goes unnoticed . think tank in overdrive again. doing my head in ha ha just vote labour

  47. bossa

    The Front Benches are made of Balsa Wood. Who knew? I know I did.

    PS: @Jennifer #3 will be Brandis. 🙂

  48. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I see where you’re going, bossa.

    Brandis, Briggs, Brough. Beautiful alliteration and alphabetical backwards.

    Snotty is too far away in the alphabet so we’ll need to devise another canny way of sacking him from Parliament and facing The Hague.

  49. bossa

    @Jennifer I meant next after Dutton… err but that’d be #4.

    Good enough. 😉

  50. Pingback: Malcolm Turnbull’s own Tokyo Shock Boys threaten to disrupt everything. | Urban Wronski Writes

  51. David

    How about the contradictions from Labor today on the Dutton/Maiden exchange. Penny Wong says Turnbull must do something about Dutton while not specifically saying sack him. Idiot Conroy says it’s no big deal, Ministers say things in the heat of the moment, he has apologised Maiden accepts and no more need be done.

    One would think Labor have just lost an election, not about to fight one. Nothing from Billy boy, still holidaying, ho hum.

  52. Jennifer Meyer-Smith


    the Opposition is NOT Labor.

    When Labor realises the Opposition is an Alliance of Left/Middle-ground political forces, then we have the means to knock this useless LNP Government off its undeserved perch.

  53. mars08

    @J M-S… errr sorry…. but I don’t see where 21st century Labor would sit in a left/middle alliance…

  54. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    I don’t really want Labor either, but reality is we need their brawn (some have brains too.)

  55. Fiona

    Okay, this is history, but I still can’t get over the fact of Dutton’s “service” in the Sexual Offenders Squad (for those who don’t already know, Dutton’s early career was with the Queensland cops).

    Imagine yourself as a person who has endured a sexual assault, and has reported it to the police.

    Then imagine yourself with Dutton as the officer in charge of the investigation.

    IMO, that experience would exponentially increase the trauma of the original assault.

    I wonder how many cases he brought to a successful conclusion, with the perp being convicted? Well, actually, I don’t.

    Her/His clothing was too tight/short/revealing, Yr Honour . . .

    Then think about the courage and honour of former policeman Peter Foster and his ilk.

  56. paul walter

    Yes, Fiona. It is the shameful truth. If you were traumatised in the first case, you’d be a certainty for a straighjacket after his ilk had finished with you.

    Definitely Snr Sgt. Hurley Planet.

  57. Fiona


    What’s worse is that, if there was a deliberate policy to select males of his ‘calibre’ to serve in the Sex Offenders Unit, it would have been done in order to camouflage assault rates.

  58. paul walter

    Ugly reality…brings to mind the dungeons of the Dark Ages. Speaking of ugly, while people have been preoccupied with Briggs and Dutton, a major, substantial attack on women has passed under the radar. In this case the minister responsible is a woman:

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