Voice Over: There’s no doubt that this leader has had more than his share of detractors but tonight we’re going to visit Adolph Thatcher in his own kitchen where he’ll be himself for several minutes while we unpick his brain and he’ll show you that he, in fact, does have a heart which he keeps in the pantry in the freezer. Tonight we’ll see what makes him tick. Apparently it’s because of his undiagnosed PSTD…
As you see I’m making a dessert of hard toffee with extra sugar because, if there’s one thing that this episode will need, it’s extra sugar.
OPENING CREDITS: KITSCH UND CABERNET with SHELLY CLAWS
CANDID SHOTS FROM SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES OF SHELLY ARRIVING AND BEING GREETED AT THE DOOR MAKING IT LOOK NATURAL AND NOT LIKE THE CAMERA CREW HAVE BEEN THERE FOR AGES SETTING UP AND WORKING OUT WHERE TO SHOOT FROM.
Shelly: Hello, Adolph. lovely drive.
Adolph: Thanks. I’ve been criticised a lot for it, but it’s just my way of ensuring that things get done in a muscular sort of way…
Shelly: I meant the drive to here. It’s a beautiful spot.
Adolph: Ah, yes, right.
Shelly: And the view.
Adolph: Which one? My view on law and order or my view on why Victorians shouldn’t be allowed to vote?
Shelly: No, the view of the property…
Adolph: Ah, well, that’s what I love about this place. It’s over a hundred years old and we’re renovating…
Shelley: Are you a hands on renovator?
Adolph: Well, only in terms of knocking things down so someone else can rebuild…
Shelley: Sort of like your party
Adolph: Um…Shall we go inside?
Shelly: Thanks.
SUDDENLY THEY ARE IN THE KITCHEN WHERE THERE JUST HAPPEN TO BE SEVERAL CAMERAS ABLE TO SHOOT BOTH MEDIUM SHOTS AND CLOSE-UPS.
Adolph: This is the oven.
Shelly: I know, I’ve seen several before.
Adolph: Yes, well, I just thought I should point it out so people know that am aware of what an oven looks like and I’m not confused by the fact that it says, “SMEG”, which must be some foreign name for an oven…
Shelly: So what are you making for me?
Adolph: Well, I thought that a seafood chowder with crab would be appropriate.
Shelley: Lovely.
Adolph: I’m just going to turn on the oven.
Shelley: Better turn on the oven before it turns on you…
Adolph: Sorry?
Shelley: Just a little joke about the way Morrison managed to get you to challenge Turnbull only to use that to take over himself.
Adolph: Are you suggesting that Morrison is an oven?
Shelley: No… Actually do you really need an over if you’re going to use the stove top to cook the…
Adolph: Do you want to take over? I know what I’m doing. I said that this was an oven didn’t I?
Shelley: No, no, it’s fine. Look how about if we show a few shots of you cutting up food and then we’ll go for a walk and you can tell me something that humanises you.
Adolph: I could do that while I cut up the vegetables. I am capable of multitasking, you know.
SHOTS OF KNIFE SLICING THROUGH POTATO.
Shelley: So you were the eldest and your parents got divorced…
Adolph: Yes, I always think that it’s hardest on the eldest. There was time when I blamed them for getting divorced and all the money problems that followed…
Shelley: And this is why it took you so long to be able afford a house?
Adolph: Yes, I bought a house at 19 but it took years to pay off…
Shelley: I understand that you have undiagnosed PTSD…
Adolph: Yes, I’ve witnessed some terrible things. Like there was that poor family that I had to refuse dental treatment for their two-year-old… and I had to look at files from a thirty year old case.. and some of the things that happened to people I took back to the cells…it’s been horrible…
Shelley: Have you thought of getting professional help?
Adolph: No, well, when I was younger you just sucked it up and got on with it.
Shelley: What about now?
Adolph: Now? But I’m… that would make me… I don’t need…
Shelley: Why don’t you show me where you mediate?
Adolph: Ah, yeah, I think there’s enough shots of the food till we eat it.
WALK IN OUTDOORS WITH LOTS OF ENORMOUS TREES
Shelley: Wow…
Adolph: This just shows that I’m in touch with my soft side. I meditate here.
Shelley: What about when you’re in Canberra?
Adolph: Then I don’t meditate, but I do say my mantra.
Shelley: What’s your mantra?
Adolph: It’s just a single word.
Shelley: Ok, tell me what it is.
Adolph: No.
Shelley: Is that because it’s private?
Adolph: No, that’s because my mantra is “no”!
Shelley: Oh, right…
CUT BACK TO MEAL TABLE WHERE THEY CAN JUST IMPROVISE BY TALKING ABOUT FOOD AND WINE AND STEER CLEAR OF ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BRING AN ABRUPT END TO THE SHOW.
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