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“I Believe In Miracles,” Says Scomo; “I Don’t!” Says Albo!

Autocorrect changed “Albo” into “Also”, which I hope isn’t some harbinger of things to come.

Let’s recap:

Why are you only asking Labor the hard questions in this election campaign? the media gets asked.

“They’re likely to be the next government of Australia and their policies need to be examined.”

Scott Morrison wins the election and makes the extraordinary declaration that he believes in miracles. This doesn’t get commented on by the media. After all, as I pointed out before, me winning Wimbledon this year would be a miracle, Ash Barty, not so much. When an incumbent PM tells you that their victory was a miracle, rather than a mild surprise, that surely tells you something about how bad his government actually is.

So now that Scomo has had his miraculous victory, the attention, of course, turns to… Labor. How did they lose? Why did they lose? What’s wrong with the pollsters? How did the betting markets get it so wrong? Hey, those of you criticising the media are just sore losers. Don’t you understand, Scomo was brilliant! The way he dodged and weaved past all those tricky questions like “Why are you so popular?” and “Do you have any good curry recipes?”

Anyway, the media has done its in-depth analysis of Labor’s failure to win support for its controversial policies such as free cancer treatment, ensuring that people paying no tax don’t get a refund cheque from the government for the tax they haven’t paid and their climate change policy. Apparently, saying that a coal mine has to stack up commercially and that Labor wouldn’t be giving away taxpayer money to support it was too green for the people of Queensland, but too unclear for all those inner city latte-sippers who don’t understand unless we have a healthy economy there’s no point in having a planet to put it on.

The Coalition’s first item of business is the tax cuts. Good things, tax cuts. Don’t we all want money in our pockets? This is not like when those lefties try and give you money for nothing by funding schools and hospitals. No this is giving more of your own money back to you, so you can afford to go to the doctor so long as you don’t do it too often. Besides, the economy is “facing headwinds” in spite of being brought back to excellent health by the current team in the six months they’d been there so a little stimulus is a good thing, right?

Yes, six years ago the Liberals went into the 2013 election telling us that they had a plan for jobs and growth. Now, it seems to me that I could similarly stand for election by saying that I had a plan for the drought. Just as the Liberals said we need growth to promote jobs, I could say that we need rain to break the drought. “That’s my plan,” I’d say, “making sure that the fundamentals are right and then rain will occur.” It seemed to be working for the Liberals because just like the inevitability of a drought being broken eventually, so too, after the GFC was growth likely to return. Unfortunately, it seems to have deserted us lately, but that’s surely not their fault, any more than the lack of rain is mine.

Of course, we now have a Budget surplus so we can afford these tax cuts in spite of the “headwinds”. Except these headwinds may put the surplus at risk, so we need the tax cuts to stimulate the economy. And they will. Stage 1 will start appearing once people have done their tax. But it does seem hard to argue that Stage 2 and 3 will encourage growth in the current fiscal year given they don’t come into play until after the next election.

The government refused to spit the Bill as Labor wanted, so the media’s attention turned to whether or not Labor would buckle. Or whether they’d be pig-headed. They were the two choices for Labor. And let’s be real here. We need to talk about what Labor’s going to do, at this point. We don’t need to talk about how intractable the government is when it refuses to split the various stages. We don’t need to discuss the massive change to the progressive nature of the income tax system. We don’t even need to point out that the changes benefit the people voting for them. No, we need to concentrate on Labor and what it will do.

Even after Senator Lambie agrees to a handshake deal and forgets to count her fingers afterwards and the government has the numbers to pass it whatever Labor votes, we need to talk about Labor.

We need to get very, very angry that they didn’t understand that because they’d lost the election they must acquiesce to the government’s mandate. Or, if you think that governments don’t really have a mandate to dictate policy on tax two elections into the future, we should get really angry with Labor for capitulating and not making a principled stand.

Ah well, I guess that Labor have worked out that if they just go along with everything the government does, eventually some of the criticism must eventually be levelled at the Coalition. Although, surely Albo must have been around long enough to notice that strategy has never worked in the past. I mean, you only have to go back to the AFP raids on the media a few weeks ago to notice that people were criticising the Labor party for supporting the legislation in about equal measure with horror at the raids themselves. Very few people seemed to be actually suggesting that the government had failed to put adequate safeguards in the legislation.

Yep, maybe the autocorrect was onto something. Maybe it’s not Scomo and Albo. Maybe it’s going to be Scomo and Also.


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  1. Ken

    Your autocorrect got it right. At his first big test Albo failed miserably.

  2. Phil Pryor

    That suppurating and pustular arsehole Murdoch, a filthy frisking foreigner, is always there, leering in the background of manipulation and coercion. His immediate removal by any means would be highly desirable, for the sake of decency, civilisation, progress. Murdoch’s muck mashers and mincers keep up the requirements of the old hun, trying to shape up this neofascist world view of his to create a compliant consumer society whereby he makes money and exerts control from dead heads, advertisers, a coalition of greedy, brainless, heartless merchant thieves, using advertising to create deadness of brain and soul. Orwell couldn’t go far enough to describe the rotten, decaying, oppressive world, like a dying, exhausted horse being whipped and flogged and spurred by misfit Murdoch.

  3. Max

    Our version of Billy Graham (spudmo) has sucked in the usual deep thinking,football,meat pies,kangaroos & hyundai cars ,voting red we,re blessed with albo our attack dog opposition leader 🤔 .its a virtual reality ‘let’s make a deal show’..what a line up of talent !used car salesman principles.morals of a pimp.most of them would sell their mothers gold fillings .spudmo,s got bowel optics, he sees the world through his arse..Jacqui lambie needs rooting! But_ we got it instead !

  4. Kaye Lee

    We have had six years of a Coalition government and yet everything is still Labor’s fault. They say we are paying down Labor’s debt and no-one bats an eyelid. The continued focus on Labor is bizarre and the Coalition must be made to accept responsibility and answer questions about their plans – stop referring to what Labor has or might do. It drives me mad. They avoid scrutiny. If there is a storm cloud, they send Peter Dutton out to say something ridiculous to distract everyone.

    I want someone to ask Scott Morrison if he agrees with the posts on Craig Kelly’s facebook page since he interceded to gift him preselection. Let’s get some attention on them.

  5. pierre wilkinson

    Why do the Labor Party continue to do nothing, say nothing and bring to bear any criticism of the lack of government policy on climate change, the economy and power prices?
    Why do they allow the lie that the COALition are better financial managers?
    Where is the accountability?
    I used to bridle at the old saw that there is no difference between the two major parties, but now I am unsure.
    Labor were not soundly thrashed, their policies roundly rejected at the last election, yet they are behaving as if that is the case.
    So very sad.

  6. Ill fares the land

    Some comments. I agree on Murdoch – except that from what I am reading, Lachlan Murdoch will be worse – if that is possible. Whether he is sucking up to the old man to win his approval or get the love he was never given as a child or is showing his true character I can’t say, but it doesn’t bode well for the world – although it bodes really well for all right wing and populist governments. The perversity of this is that Murdoch’s support of right-wing governments has nothing to do with whether they are, or are not competent. They get his support because they are not progressives (or “lefties” which is the customary derisive epithet/sneer).

    I find Lambie interesting. I also find her boorish, loudmouthed, unintelligent and entirely lacking in class, but that’s another matter. My take on her show of belligerence is that she went all “tough guy” on the LNP in exchange for her support and they said something like .. “Fine. You’ll take what we give you and you’ll lump it, or we give Tasmania nothing, you vote however you like and we go and get PHON to support the bill”. I say this because I watched a televised excerpt of her interview on ABC radio and noted with interest that at no stage did she lift her gaze and look the interviewer in the eye. She kind of mumbled her way through the interview ion manner of someone who knew they were lying and trying to put a good spin on a disaster (for Tasmania – she promised the world and seems to have delivered a few trinkets). I am inclined to think she tried the boofhead approach and was out-boofheaded and knew she had been shafted, or put another way, that the LNP had got the better of her when she thought she would have the upper hand. This is a salient lesson for both Lambie and PHON – first that they are not as powerful as they think they are and second that the LNP can play them off against each other and will do so shamelessly.

    I also agree that the absurdity of politicial commentary and the media at the moment is unchanged from pre-election. Morrison could lie from morning to night, smile his arrogant, pompous self-deluded grin, avoid answering anything remotely resembling a tough question with utter impugnity, but Shorten and now Albo are subjected to the most intense examination of every word and decision.

    As a country, we are in big, big trouble, because Morrison is doing a “Trump”, whcih is to say he is creating an “us” and a “them”. The “us” are “hard working Australians who are having a go” (or who think they are so instantly align themselves with that “group”) sand the rest who are bludgers, failures and losers who don’t deserve our support because they are responsible for their own plight. Oh, and they are stealing money from the hard workers in the form of handouts (of course, then you get the very well paid hi-viz mining workers who strongly believe they are entitled to tax cuts. I saw an internview from the Trump-parade (so he could bask in his own greatness) and listened to a Puerto Rican woman (a migrant in the 1970’s, and a total idiot to boot), who was convinced that it is migrants, George Soros and Hollywood power brokers who are trying to destroy America – how do you challenge such blatant falsehood and absurdity? We of course have Malcolm Roberts in the Senate being paid good money to deliver more or less the same message.

    But the “us” will gradually overwhelm the “them” and when that happens, aside from the venom that the “us” will spew towards the “them”, Morrison will have the power he craves and Labor will be consigned to the political wilderness. It seems to me that one real issue for Labor is that Morrison will use smoke and mirrors to convince his tribe that he is fdoing good things and he has their backs, while the rest of the LNP, business and favoured cronies and supporters will be out there pillaging, but that will never get any attention. Unless Labor and the Greens can find a way to be adult and to form a coalition, the LNP is, in my view, going to win the next election even more comfortably.

  7. Jaquix

    Pierre, you ask why Labor “says nothing”. However you forget the media controls what we hear, see and read. You will get 5 minutes of Coalition waffle, and thats the end of the matter. If they choose to add or include Albo, then they do. But generally they do not.
    Thats why you dont hear so much.

  8. Keitha Granville

    No-one is ever going to hold this lot to account, they have a compliant media.

    If this tax thingy doesn’t stimulate anything then that will be Labor’s fault too

  9. Terence Mills

    I wonder if the Ramsay Foundation will establish a Masters in political science with one of our universities (why not Bond ?) on how to stay in power even though you have already demonstrated that you are among the worst governments in history, that you are riven with internal dissension and that you have no policies.

    Then a very bright spin doctor sat down with Morrison and his gang and explained to them that they were on the nose, they had achieved nothing whilst in government and they were headed for oblivion unless they appealed to the one thing that will always get the attention of a voter : self interest !

    Initially the Liberals probably said we can’t possibly go to an election telling the punters that we have been collecting too much tax from them – because that’s not true – and we can’t say we’re going to give them massive tax cuts because it’s just not viable, we’ll bankrupt the country. But power is seductive and when they realized that they had no other basis on which to be re-elected they went for the hip-pocket nerve and it worked.

    They have learned a lot from Trump or is he learning from them ?

  10. wam

    The three people who embarrassed the shit out of the rabbott got smacked The peak download question that elicited the
    “I’m not a tech head’ answer and a smile of disbelieve got kerry the sack.
    Mark Riley copped flack for his decision to show the rabbott but is still on 7.
    When Sales asked ‘have you read the report giving the rabbott such a look of disbelief at the rabbott’s ‘no’ that she was reduced to one question ‘Mr Abbott(no sliding from r to A)would you like me to listen whilst you talk.’. She and the ABC in general are still wary of questioning of the government. This sets up a duopoly of questioning techniques. Single and simple for scummo’s mob and complex aggression for labor. They just use cardboard for the rest.
    You are so right and it is so depressing that the rabbottians can set up a slogan that is easy to support, repeat and has a modicum of truth.
    The morning shows love such shit because it can be said over and over in the few seconds allocated. Labor needs an intelligent audience and minimum of minutes to redress the slogan. Neither is available. The answer is a short controversy to expose the lnp and stimulate the autocuists into asking questions that require more than scummo leaning forward to say ‘no’ to albo’s ‘reducing service’ question.

  11. Matters Not

    Why not look on the bright side:

    Australian shares closed at a fresh 11-1/2-year high on Thursday as the major banks rebounded from a poor start to the week’s trading.

    What Trump can do in the US, Morrison can do in Australia. All that is needed is bigger tax cuts! It’s another miracle – just 11.5 years in the making. The wonders of prayer.

    In Queensland, Labor was in Opposition for 32 long, depressing years.

  12. Patricia Farrar

    I wish some clever photography person would do a mock up of Scomo singing “I believe in miracles. Where you from, you sexy thing” and put it on Youtube.

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