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How The Black Lives Matter Protest Enables Me To Drink And Drive

It seems that Dan Andrews has stuffed up by allowing a protest to go ahead. I know this because every second person interviewed by the media is telling me so.

The other interviewees are concentrating instead on the poor management of the hotel quarantine. Apparently it’s not a good idea to use a private security firm to look after people unless they’re looking after people on Manus and Nauru. And apparently the guards weren’t trained properly so that they didn’t realise that the people under quarantine would have to follow the same social distancing rules as everyone else in the community. No, for once, the Liberals are outraged that a private company was used instead of the public service!

Of course, this lack of training and basic common sense from the security guards is Dan Andrews fault and he should resign because when you employ someone to do a job and they stuff up, then you should take responsibility and resign. Remember how Angus Taylor resigned when someone is his office stuffed up? Oh, that’s right, the AFP said it was all ok because someone said sorry. Ok, well Michaelia Cash? When that guy tipped off the press about the raid and… Oh, that’s right he moved on and she stayed.

All right, this is different because it’s a Labor premier and we all know that Labor are responsible for everything that happens under their watch while the Liberals are totally irresponsible.

Perhaps I’m slow, but I’m still yet to understand how the Black Lives Matter protest was Andrews’ fault. He did ask people to not protest, but that wasn’t enough. Apparently he should have stopped it. Exactly how you stop a protest I don’t know. And surely police arresting people when they refuse to cooperate would have been more likely to spread the virus than simply allowing them to march.

Whatever, it wasn’t stopped and so even though there were only one or two cases from the actual march, it was the effect on the people doing the right thing. Apparently, all those people who were doing the right thing said, “If those people can get away with that, then why should we stay at home? Let’s stop using hand sanitiser and masks. Let’s all go out and shake hands with as many people as possible!”

Yes, I remember how I felt when Peta Credlin got off her drink driving charge. I remember saying to myself: Fuck safety. I’m going to drink copious amounts of alcohol before I get into my car because the only reason I’ve had for not doing that it the fear of getting fined. No, it hasn’t been the concern for my own safety or the safety of others, it’s only been the fact that I felt that everybody had to abide by the same rules but after Credlin, I’ve decided that if the rules aren’t going to apply in every case, then I’m free to do what I like and it’s all George Brandis’ fault for writing her that letter to show to the magistrate!

No, I didn’t think that at all, and it’s certainly a worry if anyone actually decided that just because we had a protest that risked people’s safety then they should be free to ignore all the health requirements…

So, if I put the narratives about the recent Covid-19 surge being all Dan Andrews’ fault together we end up with this:

There was a protest and some security guards who were so badly trained that they didn’t know not get too close to the people they were guarding or let them go shopping. The security personnel who thought they were just there to open the doors and to share cigarette lighters and bodily fluids, noticed that the BLM protesters weren’t fined so they decided to stop social distancing because it just wasn’t fair!

Mm, perhaps I should send that off to Rupert. He might be able to find me work as a replacement for one of his columnists, or if he can’t afford to pay me, he might be able to arrange for me to get preselection for a safe Liberal seat!

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  1. Terence Mills

    And when a plane load of travellers from Melbourne disembark in Sydney with no health or security checks and no quarantine lockdown, who’s responsible ?

    Has to be Dan Andrews doesn’t it, after all he’s a Labor Premier !

  2. Geoff Andrews

    I can’t flaw the logic or the philosophy (the bit about Labor being responsible & “Libs” being irresponsible, I mean)

  3. Olivia Manor

    Well said. I am sick and tired of the msm baying for Andrews’ head! Pandemics have a habit of spiking. And as for the BLM March, it seems to have escaped the notice of all critics that this was not confined to Melbourne alone. Heaven forbid that we should have O’Brien and his wannabe Premier, Tim Smith in charge. Smith’s main concern, for the last few months, was to reopen everything monthis ago, cull all the bats on the Yarra Bend and make sure he used offending nicknames, when mentioning Andrews, having learnt his lessons from Trump.
    And why doesn’t anyone apportion any blame to the security firms, who were paid to do a job, but chose profits over quality? And they weren’t even obscure , unknown firms.

  4. Sully of Tuross Head

    A tale of The Press, The Liberal Party and Conservative Commentators and two different State Governments.
    Gladys is allowed to blame Jetstar when it was her health officials failure to be on the job and present when the announced Jetstar plane landed at Sydney, planes do not just land like taxicabs pulling into a rank.
    Dan Andrews is lambasted when Private Enterprise (the backbone of the Liberal Party) companies, private security firms, fail to carry out the duties as described in their contracts with the Victorian Government, and allow the virus to escape quarantine.
    The jetstar debacle is just a repeat of the Ruby Princess failure.
    The blaming of Andrews for BLM protest and saying that was a cause factor in the outbreaks is just unchallenged Murdochia myth making.
    All capital cities had protests, Andrews strongly advised people not to attend, and no actual cases were reported as being from the BLM protest.
    Journalists should look beyond the political hysteria mounted by the Liberals and their mouthpieces.

  5. crypt0

    How very LieNP it all is.

  6. pierre wilkinson

    and to think I used to believe that you wrote excellent satire Rossleigh,
    now it would appear to be more a statement of facts

  7. Matters Not

    New Principles being developed on a regular basis.

    Liberals are outraged that a private company was used instead of the public service!

    Not the last we shall hear of that little gem. Then there’s the PM in waiting setting a new non-Trumpian benchmark.

    Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton has called for Victoria’s Deputy Chief Health Officer to be sacked … Mr Dutton said that Dr Van Diemen “should go” and suggested she isn’t focusing on her job if she has time to Tweet.

    Yes people doing their job don’t have time to Tweet. Perhaps a journalist might ask Minister Dutton if he expressed those very sentiments (re tweeting while on the job) when he was recently in the US socialising with the Trump family. Or does he not recognise double standards?

  8. Neil

    I can see the bobble-headed dickhead in the background

  9. wam

    How ironic scummo uses labor’s stimulus tactic when forced and has, according to a newspoll, 90% support andrews uses jlnp outsource and it fuqs up? Gladys at the ‘jade’ airport will be lucky enough this time.
    But WTF was andrews thinking ‘public money’ to private is rort heaven then why shut down the ‘public’ towers and leave the private???
    the ABC thinks, to tie labor to a questio. then give each of the two opposition parties a free advert to kick labor is fair and equal.
    At least it is obvious who the murdoch press prefer but the ABC are just a mixture is deliberate and dumb sneaky. but is is far from fair and works very hard to apologise for any opinions straying to wards labor.reporting

  10. New England Cocky

    Now Rossleigh, it is most unprincipled of you to correctly identify the too many shortcomings of the present mismanagement of the Australian economy for the benefit of a few self-serving COALition politicians with big egos and little talent. I mean, well, everybody knows that private corporations and agricultural enterprises cannot exist without government subsidies, so these alleged misdeeds by these individual politicians are merely poorly completed applications for a government subsidy rather than common law fraud.

    I think Victorian Premier Dan Andrews is doing a fine job under extremely difficult circumstances. This is the major complaint of the News Ltd mastheads. How does a Premier personally control the activities of employees of a private corporation?

    I would think that a judicial investigation of the security industry was in order, followed by sacking Serco et al in Manus and Nauru before bringing the refugees home to the Australian mainland.

  11. Pagnol

    Quite simply the born to rule, do as I say not as I do LNP = Hypocrisy R Us.

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