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“How Good Are Utes?” OR Where’s Godwin Grech These Days?

Being blessed (or cursed) with a long memory, I can’t help but wonder sometimes whether politicians think that the general public can’t remember anything from before the previous election, or whether they think that people weren’t paying attention so they didn’t notice what they said last time so they can just recycle the same policies in the hope that it will sound like they’ve got some ideas and… sorry, I got distracted… was the PM saying something, oh yeah, that sounds good, carry on.

Anyway, apart from potentially reviving memories of Utegate, the death of the weekend and the condemnation of South Australia’s big battery being no more useful than the Big Banana or the Big Prawn, I couldn’t help but wonder about Mr Morrison’s mental capacity when he told us, “I love utes. How good are utes? How good would a big ute be?”

The whole thing about a rhetorical question is that one is not meant to answer it. However, as there were two in what is often referred to by the media, without irony, as Morrison campaigning, I intend to answer them both.

Utes are very useful. The word itself is short for “utility” which suggests a functionality completely missing from our current federal leader. As to the second question about how good a big ute would be, well, obviously that depends on the size. For example, a ute larger than your average road would have – like Morrison – very little practical capacity and would be mainly there – like Morrison – for show.

The Big Ute to which Morrison was referring was, in fact, an idea for a Big Ute On A Stick, which reminds me of a product that I haven’t seen in years called “Soap-On-A-Rope”. I would suggest that no matter what the size, that a Ute on a stick would be mainly there as a tourist attraction so that people could visit Geelong and marvel at it and explain to their children, “This is a monument to those good utes that used to be made in Australia but were sacrificed to the god of Can-do Capitalism when the Liberals said they couldn’t afford to subsidise manufacturing any more because they hadn’t received enough in campaign donations from the auto industry.”

One hopes that after the next election, Canberra will have its own tourist attraction called “Scotty On A Stick” which will be a cautionary tale for all those children who think that they can get away with not doing their homework and then trying to bluster through by making things up or blaming someone else. No, Scotty, the dog did not eat the order form for the vaccines.

Still Morrison has what he sees as a great new slogan. “We’re looking out the front windscreen; we’re not looking in the rear-view mirror.”

Ok, I understand the cynicism from people that are saying that the Coalition are happy to look back for things to criticise Labor about whether it’s pink batts or Whitlam’s trip to China. Yes, I do get the fact that he’s trying to frame it so that when Labor or anyone point out past mistakes, it’s a ready made response of “We’re not looking in the mirror, we’re concerned about the future!” Ok, maybe not until after 2030 when it comes to net zero, but for everything else, the only thing that matters is the next election and we’re prepared to make all the same promises that we didn’t keep last time. How good is that?

However, my main concern is with the analogy itself. When one is driving, it is a GOOD IDEA to check your rear-view mirror fairly often. Do we really want a government who uses such poor driving practices?

Particularly when they find themselves in reverse so often…

Which reminds me, has Gladys come out and said that she never had any intention of standing in Warringah yet?


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  1. Phil Pryor

    The childishness and retarded rubbish ratbaggery of this defective P M, a Pathetic Misfit, is beyond belief, past toleration. He is a skin full of poo, has never actually worked, has never succeeded, has never achieved, has lied, backstabbed, betrayed, doublecrossed, suffers from delusions, is inflated like a zeppelin sized condom always about to blow, is repulsively coarse, undiplomatic, insensitive, obtuse, collectively an inferior substandard human. Apart from that, he should not be in any public role, making decisions for others. What is severely wrong is that the desperate need for corporate, consumption fixated, conniving, capitalist, controlling political perversion needs this low type of dummy front, marionettes, glove puppets with Merde Dog’s digit up ’em to keep them alert to their harlotry. With such as Trump, Joris Bonkson, Mor(ris)on, many others, western societies are plagued, poxed, parasitically penetrated by sheer FILTH.

  2. David Tyler

    Gladys has indeed come out to Ben Fordham (who else?) No dramatic pause or “Look over there” stunt really at all.

    “Look, I’m really grateful to the PM and so many other colleagues who really asked me to consider this. It wasn’t something that I intended to do, but out of respect for those people … I gave it some thought but decided against it.

    It’s not something that I want to do…”

  3. Keitha Granville

    45% of the voting population still think Scummo is the man for the job apparently. How do we find them and arrange for lobotomies?

  4. Cheryl Tonkin

    Rossleigh and Phil.
    EXCELLENT work.

  5. New England Cocky

    Really people there is only one solution to this self-inflicted wound. At every election
    and we might just save Australian democracy for our kids.

  6. Canguro

    Keitha, lobotomise, sever corpus callosums, administer multiple ECT’s; I don’t think it will help. The 45% who see the Moron as their man will still see him as their man. It’s a tribal thing. Like AFL… who ever changes their team preference, and risks exclusion from their own ‘pack”? Very few, eh? Or religion… very few Jews today, Pentecostals tomorrow and Buddhists the day after. The big three preoccupations – sport, religion & politics – put the war-paint on early and wear it for life. Just ask the Trumpists… ‘when are you guys going to wake up and see the light?’ – and expect to be abused for being a fool and simpleton for not seeing the reality of the deity Trump and the necessity of venerating him. We’re a weird mob, for sure, with our predilections and preferences so at odds with our best interests.

  7. Kerri

    As the Morrison government rigorously avoids going forward, one can only assume Scottyfrommarketing is looking forward whilst reversing full throttle.
    A very dangerous practice indeed.

  8. Josephus

    Trying to bully Gladys into standing against a far superior contender is typical of this anti feminist , who feels entitled to speak for women at press conferences etc but won’t consult Gladys before asking her to make a ninny of herself; who won’t face the crowd (15 March this year, the gigantic rally at Parliament House). The man is a fraud, a Scots college pupil remade as a prole in hi vis, a clown as is Boris but in scomos case pretending to be one of them silent Australians. Pass the sick bag.

  9. David Stakes

    Gladys wont run for Warringah she says, going to work in the corporate world. So that job has been offered and accepted I guess. We will find out after the ICAC findings are released.

  10. Kate Ahearne

    Thanks, Rossleigh. Lovely!

    Question: When is a Big Ute not really a Big ‘Utility’?

    Answer: When a cigar is not just a cigar.

    Question: When is a cigar not just a cigar?

    Answer: Nearly always.

  11. blair marks

    It’s so hard to see where you are going when your head is up your arse!

  12. Vikingduk

    So, when a cigar is not just a cigar, what the fck is it? How good are utes, yeah, they’re ok, I knew a Uta in Berlin, that’s pretty close. How good is trashing the chopper deal and buying USA blackhawks, etc., billions involved apparently. Yeah, I think I stick to my simple V12, double overhead cam, foxtail on aerial, ubeaut Ute. What could a cigar possibly be if it is not just a cigar?

  13. Kate Ahearne


    Haha. You know as well as I do what a cigar is when it’s not just a cigar.

    (I’m not 100% joking.)

  14. Kaye Lee

    Speaking of long memories and cigars…..

    When Malcolm Turnbull was at Sydney Uni, he took part in a debate “THAT A WOMAN IS JUST A WOMAN BUT A GOOD CIGAR IS A SMOKE”…….this was part of his speech

    “The Deputy Leader of the Opposition, Ms Liz Kirkby, took a more serious line. As an ardent womens’ Libber she saw a women’s place as being more permanent than cigars. She saw women behind every man (how frustrating). Which is better for the Liberal party––Sue Gaillie or a Corona, she asked rhetorically.

    She thought the House should unite against smokers, against those “who would push cigars before women” (strange perversion).

    Cigars may be good smokes but women are better pokes.”

    How terribly witty of them all. Not that sexism is endemic or anything…….

    PS this was 1974, pre-Monica

  15. wam

    A utilitarian treatise, Rossleigh,, Wonder where albo fits?? Would it be nice to hear from him? I know where godwin grech is. He is a labor advisor in darwin where gunner has just ruined years of hard work by following a ridiculous ute-like plan. ps after a $90000000000 french underwater ute and now a $7000000000 hovering ute. Maybe Ms Kaye CrowMikeGeof could consider where such cash comes from? Perhaps it fell off the back of christine’s ute? Whatever, Rossleigh, it is a hellova pork barrel ute, eh!!!

  16. New England Cocky

    @blair marks: In New England the surviving Nazional$ supporters believe that standing with your head between your knees and looking up gives you the best view of the future that is much better than looking for the end of your nose.

    @wam: You are naughty, don’t you realise that the purchase of US made choppers is another round of Australian vassal tribute to the lord & masters of the Liarbral Party, parasitic capitalism in the USA (United States of Apartheid)?

    It means that the US military occupation force based in Darwin will be able to commandeer RAAF choppers directly into their own forces when they ”defend” the ”Canberra bubble” from Australian voter protests as happened during the Gillard regime.

  17. Bert

    We originally purchased the Taipan choppers to phase out the Blackhawk which defense deduced had serious problems.
    So now we’re replacing the problem helicopter type with one that is of a type that we purchased to originally replace with the current helicopter that has problems…….
    My head hurts

  18. Terence Mills

    Dutton is costing us a fortune firstly in scrapping the submarine contract with no mention so far of the contractual penalties we will face from the French.

    Now he’s off on a helicopter frolic again with no mention of the costs to the nation.

    ln all of his portfolios Spudley has left a trail of destruction and cost blow-outs . Can you forget the $70million damages we had to pay to Manus Island detainees for unlawful imprisonment when he was running Immigration ?

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