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Henceforth, The Liberals Shall Be Called “The Sleeping Dogs” Party, Because They Believe We Should Just Let Them Lie!

Ok, there’s no truth in the rumour that the Liberals are changing their name to the Sleeping Dogs Party, because people should get let them lie.

However, one has to wonder. Just how stupid do they think we are? Of course, the answer to that may well be, you’d have to be pretty stupid to elect any party that had Tony Abbott as its leader. (Of course, we weren’t voting for Tony we were getting rid of that “terrible woman”, that “dysfunctional government”, that bunch of incompetents that caused the GFC… But I’m getting ahead of myself, more on that later!)

And speaking of more on: Let’s start with Joe Hockey.

Over the past few months, the public has been repeatedly told that things like changes to pensions and Medicare, cuts to the ABC/SBS and various other promises didn’t matter, because the Abbott government was keeping the big ones. In particular, these things had to make way for the biggest of them all: Getting the Budget back on track.

Now if I can sum up what Mr Hockey has had to say:

Of course, cuts had to be made. Any fool can see that. Let’s start by cutting the Carbon and Mining Taxes because they’re just a big drag on the economy and giving money to government which doesn’t help the Budget bottom line at all. However, when Tony said before the election that there’d be no cuts to various things, you have to balance that with the fact that we were telling you we were going to get the Budget back in the black and that nothing was exempt, so you can see that – in this card game called Politics – we had a bigger card to beat the small card of no cuts. Clearly, everybody knew that before the election. So why did Tony lie? Well, he was asked to. He was asked to rule out cuts and he did. It was really the interviewer’s fault. But let’s not live in the past, let’s move on. We promised to have the Budget back in the black as soon as we took over as government. Not with the first Budget as I originally said, but we amended that to “within our first term”… and by first term, I meant before we were voted out, not in our first term of office. Our latest projection isn’t the 2018 I suggested a few months, but sometime in the 2020’s, so if you vote us out before then, it’ll really be your fault. Whatever, at least we’re not like Labor who promised a Budget Surplus and then didn’t deliver!

Joe is starting to sound more absurd than Christopher Pyne’s attempts to justify the change in tone on Gonski from before the election which was about as convincing as me attempting to argue that there’s absolutely no difference between me and George Clooney! Ok, he’s rich and good-looking but apart from that, we’re practically twins. Well, yes, he’s successful too, if you want to be like that…

Yep, I can’t see that the person who was going on a blind date with George, will be happy that I was the one who turned up. Whatever, I don’t think I’d like to have Mr Pyne as the one who’s trying to convince her to stay…

But, of course, the Gymnastic/Contortionist award for the previous few weeks would surely go to Tony himself. Not only that, but I feel that, in spite of the strong competition from Joe and the rest of the Keystone Cabinet, Abbott should be awarded Gold, Silver and Bronze.

The Bronze for his performance on the Paid Parental Leave Scheme. While trumpeting it as a signature policy, it’s been watered down a couple of times and still he hasn’t actually managed to announce what form it’ll take. But rest assured, Abbott is the MiniStar for Women (at least women who have children – the others can look after themselves), so he intends to keep on improving it. Perhaps, better childcare or, even nannies, whatever. he promises that he’ll definitely announce further details before it starts.

The Silver goes to his announcement that another of his “priorities” the recognition of the Aboriginal People in the Constitution should be delayed to coincide with the 50th anniversary of 1967 referendum. Why? Now, some suggest so that he doesn’t have to do anything about it in this term of office, but surely he can’t be presuming that he’ll get another one. But I’m giving this the Silver for the way he managed to justify it by citing the Referendum on the Republic, telling us that the Republic didn’t succeed in spite of both major parties and a whole list of other groups being behind it. He neatly neglected to mention that there was also a majority of the public being behind it, but the proposal was neatly snookered by Howard creating division about what type of republic to have leading to various pro-republic people campaigning with the Monarchists to defeat the referendum.

But the Gold Medal for twisting and turning has to go to his statements on Peta (Peter) Credlin. (Autocorrect kept changing it to “Cradling” – it must be sexist too.)

Apparently, there’s an element of sexism behind the attacks. Mm, is the PM suggesting that his Party contains men who are sexist? I’m gobsmacked. Is this the beginning of the Minister for Women actually doing something in the role (apart from defending the right of women to have babies and get the PPL)? Something like telling his Party that sexism is wrong and just for “girlie men”? Could this lead to the number of women in Cabinet exceeding the number of female prime ministers that Australia’s had? (Sophie Mirabella was lamenting the other day that, by losing her seat, she felt partly responsible for the lack of women in Cabinet. After all, if she was there there’d be double the number!)

Or is this a more subtle attack on a potential leadership challenger?

After all, hasn’t there been a suggestion that there’s a lot of tension between Julie Bishop and Peta Credlin? Is Abbott suggesting that Julie Bishop is behind these “sexist” attacks? After all, it was just a few weeks ago that Bishop felt it necessary to tell us all that she wasn’t a feminist. And if she’s not a feminist, couldn’t she be the one behind all these sexist attacks? At the very least, she should be defending poor defenceless Peta from those nasty men, like Tony’s doing.

Yep, this could be his way to show everyone that Bishop is far too sexist to be taken seriously as a potential Prime Minister.

P.S. Someone just brought an article to my attention which says that Peta and Julie get on just fine and have a very professional working relationship, and any suggestions of tension between them are completely exaggerated. Ah, so it’s all ok.

P.P.S. I did try to squeeze in an honourable mention for telling us that the G20 was about economic matters and not the place to discuss climate change only to send the Finance Minister to Lima, leaving the Environment Minister at home. Apparently, meetings about climate change are not where you talk about the environment either!

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  1. corvus boreus

    Tony, the foreign-born, male Minister for Women(and indigenous peoples) is a feminist.
    Julie, the female, Australian-born Foreign Minister, is a misogynist.
    To hell with the science, let’s have some sport.
    What a ripe serve of fuxslaw!

  2. Kaye Lee

    rossleigh,

    I for one would much rather have dinner with you than George Clooney. I prefer someone who can make me laugh and who can make me think.

    For some reason your article has made me remember that old joke about “two dogs”.

  3. joffa230

    “Peta (Peter) Credlin. (Autocorrect kept changing it to “Cradling”
    Autocorrect should change it to Cretin. Another stuff up by Microsoft.

  4. corvus boreus

    Credlin craves credit for credibility of cretin.

  5. Möbius Ecko

    Surely a medal for participating should go to Ian Macfarlane today, who argued that the cuts to science and the minuscule (he did use that word) ones to CSIRO were actually an increase in funding, that is if you did the bunch of mind contortions he did that I doubt anyone, even Padgett, could have followed.

    For instance not scrapping the $126m RV Investigator, actually funded and built under Labor but a Howard proposal, yet cutting its sailing days from 300 to 180 and less means that $126m plus the cost of its sailing days gets added to this government’s science budget, increasing it.

    That was just one of his contortions.

    It really is so hard to underestimate how dishonest and deceptive this government and its ministers are, and just how much they treat the public as utter idiots.

  6. vivienne29

    It’s high farce. But I don’t think even the Chaser could come up with this (could go close). The contortions and distortions are beyond description. They take us all for idiots but they are the idiots. Competent, adult, methodical blah blah blah – absolutely NOT.

  7. DanDark

    Mobius this is the truth about CSIRO, I watched it last night, so of course the MC Minion has to come out and say that CSIRO are lying saying their funding is increasing when it has clearly been smashed.

    http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2014/s4148028.htm

    McFarlane is talking absolute crap and what gets me they can lie through their teeth with a straight face, someone has given them all the book called,
    How to lie and look believable……..Mc Farcked is a Newt, a nothing pretending to be a somebody…

  8. Kerri

    VOTED LIBERAL.
    You bloody idiot!

  9. Kaye Lee

    I’m trying to think who should get the most improved award but I am coming up blank. Can anyone think of anything good that any of the current government have achieved?

    They keep saying how well Andrew Robb has done in getting signatures on free trade agreements (or memoranda of understanding whatever the hell that means) but if they are so good, why are they a secret? Scott Morrison is pretending the boats have stopped by refusing to report on them. Apparently he has moved his attention now to stopping the planes – presumably to stop people dying from DVT? Julie Bishop has done a lot of hand-shaking and finger wagging death stares and looked pretty while she’s done it but if you read the international press we have become a pariah since she took over. Mathias Cormann should get recognition for his dogged determination in answering every single question asked of him with “Layboor’s debt and deficit disaster”. If they are their high fliers then Houston…we have a problem.

    Actually I think I will give an award to Greg Hunt. Not because he has done anything good but because he must be feeling awfully lonely now that he doesn’t have a carbon tax to oppose and he isn’t allowed out anymore.

  10. mars08

    The only popular conduit between what the ruling class says (and does), and the electorate… is the MSM. Unless they expose the facts… our system will continue to rot.

  11. Dandark

    I will give first prize for Liberal Dummies to the invisible minister,
    the minister when you havnt really got a minister,
    so you could call Arfur a Claytons minister,
    where is Arfur Sinodinis, he has vanished into thin air since he couldn’t explain his lies and fraud….
    Someone should make a book like Where’s Wally….Where’s Arfur……

  12. stephentardrew

    His medal tally is legion amongst fools.

    Only three choices?

    You do us all a disservice Rossleigh.

    Surely the number is in the tens, hundreds, thousands if truth be told to wisdom and that surely Dear Dum Dum has not got.

  13. lawrencewinder

    Poor Peta “Bloody Idiot” Credlin. Commissar to a lying nincompoop, Wrangler to a hideously inept Environment minister; who cant get her own make-over shots in Vogue like “Asbestos-Death Stare” Julie and who has to deal with the mangled English of Horse-Shite” Coormann. With others (due to space requirements) as untalented, unmentioned, she must feel like she’s running a kinder full of ADHD / Asperger toddlers… I mean have some pity….. or just revel in the schadenfreude.

  14. Kyran

    Rossleigh, I think you may have been upstaged by most of the comments here, which is saying something. The only thing I would award our current “parliament” is a “soft spot”. It’s a bog, on the west coast of Ireland. I’m tipping we could neutralize many harmful gasses in the process. Dandark stole my thunder for awarding Ms Lee’s “Most Improved Award”. Clearly, Arfur is the most improved……because he had to leave. His absence hath made my heart grow fonder!
    Take care

  15. Terry2

    Kaye,

    Greg Hunt sat through a six and a half minute harangue from Alan Jones yesterday – must say something about his fortitude I suppose but personally i would have thought a lot more of him if he had :

    1. Got up, said f**k you and walked out

    or

    2. Got up and wandered out to the kitchen at 2GB and come back with a cup of coffee saying to Jones: “feel better now,sunshine”

    By the bye, just reading Peter Van Onselen in the Australian talking about the Credlin factor : evidently he has seen Credlin doing Tony’s hair and makeup before television appearances – note to Peta/Peter, lay off the fake tan.

  16. Kaye Lee

    As reported by a beauty consultant at IA: “the smooth polished wrinkle free finish to his face, particularly his forehead; the “tanned” look to his face; the white eye shadow used to “highlight” his eyes; the strange makeup addition to his lips (must be a new product!); the new slight, but noticeable, “extra fullness” to his hair.”

    http://independentaustralia.net/wordpress-opt/wp-content/2013/02/AbbottsMakover.png

  17. My Halo Broke

    Cradling? I thought it was Kremlin.

  18. corvus boreus

    Re KL, 3;27
    I think it is the release of the new prototype, the fully artificially automated, synthetic-skinned ‘Robo-Tone’ with pre-programmed vocalisation responses to reduce um-time.
    They were aiming for fewer verbal malfunctions and reversions to primal predatory behavioralism and primitive courtship displays than have been occurring with the previous reptilian cyborg ‘Komodo-tone’ type.

    I do believe the visual inspiration for the styling of the new model Tones was taken from the image of a partly-melted Ken doll.

  19. mark delmege

    Joe HA ha hA Hockey

  20. John Fraser

    <

    Hockey's done for ….. no matter how long he leaves his calculator out in the wind its never going to be recharged.

    Surely the MSM must be getting close to calling Abbott a lame duck Prime Minister ?

    Although it took them a bloody long time to figure out Credlin was the poxy Prime Minister.

    Whoops ! …. I may or may not have made a spelling error there.

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