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Greg Hunt, Phil Ruddock And Now I Know What’s Wrong With The World!

Ok, it’s not a joke. I’ve checked.

First we hear that Phil Ruddock is to be made Special Envoy For Human Rights. I did think that maybe the word “for” was meant to be “against” and that bloody autocorrect had done its worst again, but no, Phil Ruddock is leaving Parliament to be the Special Envoy For Human Rights. You remember, fabulous Phil who declared that sleep deprivation wasn’t torture. The man who wore an Amnesty International badge while locking up asylum seekers.

And today I wake up to the news that Greg Hunt has been named “Best Minister in The World” and not in true Liberal fashion by Greg Hunt, himself. It was done by the World Government Summit. And no, before anyone asks this is not some organisation linked to wrestling or a satiric site. It’s a genuine, bona fide, ridgy didge, fair dinkum summit which includes President Obama as one of the speakers. And some of its ideas even sound worthwhile.

But if Greg Hunt is truly the best minister in the world, what sort of a mess must the other countries be in?

When you look at the published scoring methodology, the report becomes even more mystifying:

Scoring Methodology:

The methodology for scoring the applications will be based on the following criteria:

  • Innovation & Leadership The solution that was introduced by the candidate will have revolutionized the utilization of Government Services by its citizens. This work of true innovation will have increased productivity, reduced costs and improve the citizen’s opinion of the Government.
  • Quality & Impact The solution should address the needs of the citizens and must demonstrate a significant social impact. Significant social impact includes but is not limited to easily accessible government services for all citizens, efficiency in execution, human development impact, job creation, etc.
  • Replication The solution must have the quality of being easily replicated in multiple geographies. The solution should demonstrate propensity for impact beyond the local level, either nationally, regionally or globally.
  • Reputation The candidate must be highly credible amongst his peers and the general public. The candidate must have a proven record amongst his peers of developing innovative solutions that have positively impacted the citizens.

So one has to ask, was Hunt the only person nominated, or did they confuse him with someone else?

Did the people scoring the award really think that turning away from an emissions trading scheme to the Liberals Direct Hand Back The Money To Your Backers Scheme was better? Or was it for his wonderfully innovative idea that you can protect the Great Barrier Reef by arguing that it doesn’t need protecting.

Whatever, I’m looking forward to seeing Tony Abbott being given the role of Sex Discrimination, Andrew Bolt being made head of the CSIRO and Clive Palmer being given the role of Auditor-General (Bronwyn Bishop can’t have it because she intends to stay in Parliament no matter what happens and that includes her losing her seat in an election).

The strange thing is that if I’d written this yesterday I could have put the respective appointments of Greg Hunt and Philip Ruddock on that list and it wouldn’t have looked out of place.

But lots of things happen that we don’t expect. Like the Liberals speculating about an increase to the GST when they’d assured us all before the election that talk of a GST rise was just a Labor scare campaign. And then, even more surprisingly, having risked electoral backlash by raising the subject, Malcolm suggests that it’s not really something that they intend to do.

So, having ruled out an increase to the GST – at least until after the election – Mr Turnbull is turning his attention to another area likely cause problems: outsourcing Medicare.

Why?

One theory is that he wants to whittle away his lead so that Labor don’t replace Shorten, but that seems about as likely as Tony Abbott sticking around because Murdoch promised that he could get rid of Turnbull and make him PM again.

But I think that the more likely idea is that he wants to get us talking about things that aren’t actual policy so we don’t notice that since becoming PM, he hasn’t actually done anything apart from pose for photos and say how committed he is to something, even if like innovation and the CSIRO, the commitment seems about as long lasting as a Britney Spears wedding.

Whatever, if Greg Hunt IS the best it certainly explains the world’s inability to solve some of the really complex problems like Syria and wealth inequality.

Come to think of it, it explains the world’s inability to solve some of our simplist problems.

 

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24 comments

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  1. Deidre Zanker

    What exactly is the World Government?

  2. lawrencewinder

    Well… at least there’s movement… they’ve gone from Kafka-esque to Theatre of the Absurd!

  3. Ross in Gippsland

    At first glance, this has to be a piss take. Fearless Phil as Special Envoy For Human Rights and little Greg as best minister in the whole wide world? Have we woken up in a parallel universe where everything is arse about.
    Maybe they got confused watching re-runs of that sixties TV series Sea Hunt. Or maybe they like the word “Hunt” and all it’s derivatives.What ever the reason recreational pharmaceuticals should be kept securely locked away at all times.
    Surely Ruddock has sucked on the public teat long enough, does this self entitled pillock need to be attached to the day he dies?
    What next, James Ashby the Sex Discrimination Commissioner and what are they planning to give Chopper Bishop.
    Jesus wept.

  4. Klaus

    What was the revolutionary invention/creation that gave him the title? What is it (from that idiot) that the world craves to replicate to give their citizens the high quality of competent governance we all enjoy. I am really keen to find out

  5. Glenn K

    I didn’t think it could get more absurd than under Abbott. Ruddock for human rights???? Hunt the best minister???? WTF? it’s stunning in its absurdity. absolutely stunning. oh, and utterly, utterly utterly corrupt.
    wonder what Chrissy Pyne is going to get……

  6. Bronte ALLAN

    Tell me it is not April Fools day already? I think that the calculator–used to score these two inept, lying, flat earth, right wing, tea party obscenely over-paid so-called politicians–must need new batteries! WTF??

  7. Julian

    Indeed this just confirms that the entire political system is run by biggots. Whatever any of them say we should believe the exact opposite.

  8. David (other)

    The Award is organised by the terrorist Govt of the United Arab Emirates, now they would be a good judge. A Govt of family rulers, oil rich, locks up anyone who dares criticise them, close friend of the US and most European leaders and now…. well read The Huffington Post and SMH take on the absurdity.
    Most dailies have a take on it

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2016/02/09/greg-hunt-minister-world_n_9193142.html?utm_hp_ref=australia

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-opinion/greg-hunt-the-greatest-minister-in-the-world-accepts-his-colleagues-acclaim-20160209-gmpqj9.html

  9. Douglas Pye

    ……. ” Astroturf ” ??

    I’ve had a good sniff around this ” World Government Summit ” site, to the extent that I was eventually able to open the ” About ” sector. Once there I was treated to a few words about really Nothing!

    Whilst I’m open to be set straight, I seriously get a stiff whiff of Astroturf ! ……..on a Grand ( World ) Scale !…. seriously ! …

  10. win jeavons

    Time flies when you’re old ! April Fools ‘ day already? If this came from Dubai were all the voters oil sheiks? Minister to destroy the environment is what I see ; he is good at that .

  11. Kaye Lee

    And just to add to your day, we hear that both Truss and Robb are retiring. This puts Tim Wilson in a terrible position. In March 2014 Samantha Maiden at the Telegraph wrote “when Trade Minister Andrew Robb retires in Goldstein, a seat long marked out for Freedom Commissioner Tim Wilson.” Does he give up a 5 year sinecure in the hand for the chance at a safe seat? He quit the Liberal Party to take up this high paying job. Will he join again and take leave from the AHRC? The thought of him campaigning makes me cringe as does the idea of rewarding this no experience, no talent IPA hack any further.

    Is Robb getting out before the reality of how he has sold us out becomes obvious?

  12. mars08

    Kaye Lee:

    Is Robb getting out before the reality of how he has sold us out becomes obvious?

    That is so utterly ridiculous… For that to be the case, how would have to have a drop of morality in his blood, or a speck of shame. Our current mob of arrogant, self-absorbed rulers have neither.

  13. Adrianne Haddow

    Seriously?
    Who paid what to whom? Maybe the award givers thought he was minister for non environment.

    Next it’ll be an award for Dutton for outstanding service to humanity.

    I must be living in an alternate universe.

  14. diannaart

    Environment Minister given global award by Middle East Oil barons.

    Yeah, that makes sense….. only to people so damn wealthy they believe they live on another planet.

  15. kerri

    Hunt is truly the best minister in the world, what sort of a mess must the other countries be in?
    Seriously? Hunt isn’t even the best minister in Australia?
    I won’t even mention what Hunt rhymes with?
    Look! I own a house in Hunt’s electorate! I am unable to vote against him but every time we get the local government “love us” rag it consists almost entirely of Greg Hunt at the beach, Greg Hunt at the bowling club, Greg Hunt at the shops. Page after page of photo ops with the world’s worst minister before the contest wven started and long before Hunt was a minister!

  16. rossleighbrisbane

    Yeah, it does sort remind me of the time someone was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world to which came the reply: “He isn’t even the best drummer in The Beatles”!

  17. Kyran

    Seriously, if satirist’s don’t launch a class action against this alleged government for ‘theft of material’, they are missing out on a great opportunity.
    My theory on the Ghunt scenario is ‘double jeopardy’ provisions being enacted in the political, rather than criminal, area. Ok, a bit weak, as political criminals appears to be ‘de rigueur’ in ‘modern’ Australia.
    There was a beauty pageant in December where the wrong winner was announced. The right winner was eventually announced, causing much distress to the entrants and acrimony towards the announcer. That was the precedent.
    If my theory is right, they announced “And the winner of best minister is……” and some inebriated, entitled fool at the back called out “Hey, Ghunt” (or something similar). Naturally, Ghunt stood up. They couldn’t possibly retract the award, based on the precedent of awarding an equally prestigious honour to the wrong person.
    As for the (now) time honoured tradition of captains picks by primed miniature’s, the appointment of Ruddock is entirely understandable (in the context of ‘captain’s who would be challenged picking their nose’s without assistance’). My theory is that Talcum was asked if he could think of anyone Australia could nominate as an envoy on human rights. Bearing in mind he’s allegedly intelligent and aware of current Australian history (including his pending need to address the ‘Closing the Gap’ report with a firm “We’re doing nothing”), he said “Bollock’s”. As the media bloke in their ‘press office’ is an ex ABC alleged journalist, he naturally thought “Ruddock?”. And didn’t question it further.
    Thank you, Mr Brisbane. I still think the legal action is well worth a shot. Take care

  18. margcal

    No. Sorry. Nothing that any of you says can convince me that Hunt’s gong isn’t a spoof.

  19. paul walter

    Robb complains of depression, but it is not depression, it’s his conscience pricking him.

  20. Geoff Andrews

    Despite all the foregoing thigh-slapping ribaldry, cheap shots and bitter envy, this award to Greg is an accolade we can all share even those who think deeply about the environment. Senator Scott Ludlam (AG, Western Australia) was fullsome in his praise even proposing statues of Greg in all the capital cities and suggesting that 10th February be a “Greg Hunt Best Minister in the World” day.
    For the information of all the know-it-alls above, GH’s award was for coining the phrase “Direct Action”.
    This broke the mould and satisfied all the selection criteria:

    Innovation & Leadership .A two word slogan that carried the same impact as three. It may not have appealed to some but it didn;t have .
    “tax” in it. Tax: is now off the table except when it’s on the table with everything else.
    Quality & Impact . People knew that the middle man was going to be cut out
    Replication . It was repeated many times
    Reputation This would have been Greg’s weakest subject but was enough to carry him past Mal Brough who did not score
    in this category at all.

    “Greg Hunt Best Minister in the World”. There IS a god of oxymorons and I am one of the crazy bastard’s disciples.

  21. townsvilleblog

    Another rat deserting the sinking Turnbull ship, along with Robb and Truss, the turnbull government is in turmoil with fighting between factions and Misterial misbehaviour, no wonder turnbull is looking to call an early election before things get any worse. When you get your chance please don’t reward them for bad behaviour.

  22. David (other)

    Nice one Geoff

  23. Stove-pipe

    The world government summit is just the Saudis. I know that sounds too simple and silly, but… I don’t care.

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