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Every Now And Then, I Think Before I Say Something… Perhaps, Malcolm Should Try It Some Time!

Ok, just in case you’re wondering, I am talking about the Turnbull Malcolm and not the One Nation Malcolm…

Now, I know some of you are critical of Malcolm Roberts and are suggesting that he’s been put there to make Pauline Hanson look intelligent…

Well, maybe not intelligent, but at least sane.

However, I say, everyone is entitled to believe whatever they like. So if our recently elected senator wants to believe that there’s no such thing as man-made climate change because we had climate change in previous times, I say, let him. In fact, I see similarities in his argument and my assertion that because car accidents had occurred in previous times, there was no way that it was my fault that I had that accident in 1993 when I pulled out from a stop sign without looking. Indeed, I don’t think that the government has a right to impose stop sign laws against us, and I’m thinking of seeing if Senator Roberts will take up my cause and get my money back from aforementioned “accident”. Clearly stop signs are part of the UN conspiracy to impose world government, as are all road rules.

But enough about that. ‘Tis the other Malcolm I intend to discuss. You know the one I mean, after all, at least some of you voted for him…

Although even Neil of Sydney won’t admit to being a Turnbull supporter so it does make me wonder how he’ll last out the year. That’s Malcolm, not Neil. There’s apparently a patron saint that protects drunks and fools… Ah, so that’s how so many One Nation supporters have managed to vote without stabbing themselves with the pencil… Yes, yes, tell me that it’s democracy and all that and that we should respect the vote… I heard that from the editor of one of the Murdoch papers on the radio today. I couldn’t help wondering if I asked him why his paper never takes that view when Labor actually win an election.

Anyway, let’s try and imagine if the Labor Party had done what the Liberals did this week…

I guess that I should point out for the umpteenth time that I have no links to the Labor Party, I’m not a left-winger and if you come up with a halfway competent group of people who make me feel like they’re capable of organising things in a way that enables people to have the chance at a decent life no matter where they’re born, then I’ll pledge my loyalty to them for the next election. In fact, I may pledge my undying loyalty to them for life and join their cult and just follow orders, but not if it involves too much exercise.

The point of this is to point out the bleeding obvious, and, in doing so, I’m not doing it in the hope of winning votes for anyone – I’m just intrigued that there isn’t more of a “you can’t be serious” reaction from people.

It’s sort of like the joke where Gillard walks on water across Lake Burley Griffin and the headline in the Murdoch papers is “Gillard Can’t Swim!”

Anyway, let’s just look at the facts in the most objective way possible:

ABC does a stitch-up on Government by releasing video showing the treatment of young offenders in the Northern Territory.
Turnbull springs into action and announces Royal Commission, nominating ex-Chief Justice of Northern Territory as head.
Turnbull rejects suggestion that there should be an Indigenous person appointed as well, saying that it’s not needed.
Turnbull also rejects suggestion of any conflict of interest given that the appointee was actually part of the system that he’s investigating.
A couple of days pass, and the appointee stands down.
Indigenous appointment made.
Big announcement that they’ve told the – “we don’t make the decisions it’s an independent body” – CSIRO to create a climate change division and employ some of the people who were going to get the chop.
In spite of it being a firm commitment in their election campaign, they’re now considering changes to the superannuation policy that they took to the election, because there was a supposed backlash against it. Somehow though, they have a mandate for all their other policies. It’s this one that caused them the electoral pain. And, of course, the Labor lies on Medicare.
Turnbull announces that Mr Rudd always knew that his endorsement was in the hands of Cabinet. Someone leaks that Cabinet voted 11-10 in favour of endorsing Rudd.
Banks don’t pass on full interest rate cut; they’re told they’ll have to report to Parliament. (Didn’t Joe tell us that banks would always pass on cuts under a Liberal government when he was in Opposition?) So when the banks report and say that they need to pocket more money because the government upped the amount they need to keep in reserve, will Turnbull’s terriers tear them apart and tell them that, come the revolution, they’ll be the first ones lined up against, or will they nod and say, “Good on you, it’s responsible actions like that which make Labor’s call for a Royal Commission into the banking industry a political stunt!”

Now let’s imagine that it was a Labor government who’d been in power while all this was happening. We’d have front pages on leadership tensions because of the leaks. We’d have editorials on their inability to manage the simplest processes. We’d have complaints that they rushed into the Royal Commission and that it was a knee-jerk reaction which didn’t think through the implications of their initial appointment, as well as complaints that the subsequent appointments were similarly ill-considered. We’d have shock jocks talking about how this was the worst, most dysfunctional government since Whitlam.

Instead we have attacks on the Education system and cartoons that seek to remind us that if indigenous children are being ill-treated by white people than it’s all the fault of their parents for not being better people… I mean, let’s not shy away from it here, as Bill leaked today, it’s not racist to remind everyone that it’s all the fault of aboriginal people if they haven’t become a successful human being like him and therefore their kids deserve no sympathy!


It’s so hard to be someone like me. White, male, privileged. Incredibly good-looking. Modest…

Nobody cuts you any slack…

Oh, sorry, must go, important things happening. Collingwood are about to play. Far more important than politics.

(This is the point where I think that I probably should proofread/think twice/wonder how what I’ve said will sound to anyone else. But hey, if it’s good enough for our nation’s politicians to say whatever thought bubble they have and not be held accountable I guess you’ll forgive me for the odd split infinitive! … )

Have a good weekend, everyone.

Even Malcolms.

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  1. etnorb

    Love your thoughts Rossleigh, pity about barracking for Collingwood though! Yes, it would be a far different “viewpoint” by the Mudrake press (especially), if it had been Labor who were in power.

  2. Rossleigh

    I’m not actually barracking tonight. I’m establishing my Liberal credentials by sending messages to the AFL that it’d be fairer if Eddie Maguire was allowed to appoint the umpires and then asking them if they saw any conflict of interest in umpiring the game when they’d be asked to speak at a Collingwood fundraiser…

    Sorry, not a Collingwood fundraiser, and they didn’t notice that the tickets were printed in black and white!

  3. Phil

    Many, many points, extremely well made Rossleigh – thanks once again.

  4. lawrencewinder

    Tsk, tsk… naughty you…. rehashing old joke about Whitlam crossing lake Burley Griffin…. and as punishment the Tigers won!

  5. Keitha Granville

    sometimes I read Rossleigh and laugh like crazy – and then I realise that even though it’s usually hilarious, it’s also at the same time horribly true.
    How long do we go on before we all rush like lemmings to the cliffs and leap ? (I know they actually don’t do that but it’s always a good metaphor)

  6. Kaye Lee


    I think Rossleigh is brilliant but he always makes me feel uncomfortable because he reminds me that the line between satire and reality has basically disappeared and we are wallowing in a farce orchestrated by clowns.

  7. Hotspringer

    Sometimes I wonder whether Rossleigh and The First Dog On The Moon are one and the same person, the way they reveal the truth about our rulers.

  8. Clean livin

    Most of it makes sense, but I question “Collingwood are about to play”.

    Like the current government, all we get is promises……….

  9. helvityni

    I love Rossleigh’s take on things, funny and sad…and true.

  10. Freethinker

    Thanks Rossleigh for your excellent post, after reading it I thinking in going back to my cave (shed) and isolate myself from this embarrass situation that part of the electorate have put us for the next few months (I hope)

  11. townsvilleblog

    Kaye, I agree, it’s a little too close to home.

  12. Fedup

    You are just another of these pathetic people who sit back and make sarcastic comments of the people who have the balls to stand up for a political platform and there are those who just sit behind their computers and think they have the answers to everything. Why don’t all of you get off your computers and get out in the real world and stand for elections if you think you have all the answers! All most of you are ” All talk and no bloody action” Pauline Hanson and Co have more guts than all of you put together.

  13. rossleighbrisbane

    Thanks, Fedup, for taking the time to get on a computer and telling us that we don’t have the answers to everything. After clearly pointing out where I’m going wrong, I will reassess my world view and realise that simply having the guts to stand for election means that I should never question anything they say.

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