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Dutton Blasts Albanese: ‘How Dare You Do What You Said You Would Do!’

SATIRE

Incoming Opposition Leader Peter Dutton has blasted Prime Minister Anthony Albanese for doing what he said he would do, as well as going back on an LNP policy.

‘How dare you do what you said you would do? That’s not what a government does’ he said.

‘That’s not what a government does’ he said.

‘He also reversed our policy, a very galling decision on his part. Mr Albanese is very entitled, isn’t he? He seems to think being ‘in government’ allows him and his fellow lefties to ‘make decisions’. The man is ‘delusional’.

 

 

 

 

 

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16 comments

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  1. Phil Pryor

    Hello, phone orders? Maccas? I’ll have a poomarinated Dutton and a bowelbasted Joyce please, with no dill…What??

  2. wam

    I think he probably joins the rabbott in believing the teal women should have stuck to ironing before the carbon price makes the task too expensive.
    No matter how tempting, albo, don’t use the ‘move the member be no longer heard’

  3. Alotl Axolotl

    The best Potatohead mashup I’ve seen.

  4. Phil Pryor

    I offer an apology for the bilious burst above (10.16 p m, oh no) but those conservative crooked crapmerchants foul up the balance of juices…and now we hear that Mr. Littleproud (some say little to be proud of, bad construction…) is to offer himself as a candidate for leading, perhaps us, perhaps astray. If Mr. Chester were to offer himself up with this as a deputy, it might make for a less unsavoury lineup, for Joyce should be fumigated and buried in a pit outback, far away. Mc Cormack has been tried and dumped, quite fitting. He’d make a good lump in a dump. But seriously, Australia’s social and political fabric is entwined with coal, gas, oil, the wealth and lifestyle factors over time, finance, superannuation, investment, speculation, retail, media. ALL of this is the old way and we live with it. Whole regions in Australia may need heavily planned and financed reconstruction, as do flood plain areas. To enter a new world concept of work from home, work with ultra technology, decentralising, electricity renewables, inclusiveness, etc., is very enticing, very challenging. We learned of those fine men (mostly) who gave us our modern world, Trevithick, Stephenson, Faraday, Marconi, so many. That world is going and so should the old country party way of operating, under the reptilian rootadrinkayabba Joyce. Then, how do we avoid the continuation of a Dutton?? Ugghh. So, no dill in the burger and no dill in the conservative parties…

  5. Bensy

    And how many policies, has the LNP wrecked and dumped that of Labor’s ? … HEAPS !!! …

    So dead-beat Dutton, can just fuck off, Labor has every right, to get rid of any cruel policies,
    that have hurt the most vulnerable, while protecting their mates.

    The LNP only governs for those with money and power, they will never listen to the Australian public.

  6. Dave Scott

    Dutt has the ethics of a cartel boss

  7. Harry Lime

    Littleproud will probably get up because he’s not as toxic as the Beetrooter,but it’s merely shuffling a deck full of Jokers.Chester, easily the most palatable of the offerings ought to consider joining the ranks of the Independents,where he may be part of the political change desperately needed.If the Gnats persist with Joyce,they will deserve the extermination that’s staring them in the face.

  8. Ill fares the land

    Of course, Dutton made his first comment as the “leader” elect of the Liberal Party (which is anything but “liberal” and if it were in power under Dutton would continue the “fine” work done over the last 10 years to make Australia less “liberal”), on the Muraguppan family, in particular asking if Chalmers had “relied on advice”. Hmmm. I wonder which advice Potato Head “relied on” or blatantly overrode when he made a decision, against his department, to allow a rich Liberal Party mate to have their au pairs allowed into Australia! Potato Head is a rabid authoritarian and granted power, that is how he did and would again try to recast the Australian cultural landscape into a form more in accord with his neurotic ideology (let’s not forget – he left the chamber when Rudd gave his apology for the stolen generations). When Dutton says he isn’t the same person, he’s lying.

  9. GL

    A Liberal insider, anonymously said that he later saw Dutton in his office excitedly stroking a small toy sumbarine he kept in his trousers pocket and cooing, “My precious, my precious…” At least he thinks that it was a sub, but now can’t be too sure.

  10. Consume Less

    Well said everyone. GL, nuclear or diesel ? Dutton has 3 kids, wonder what their life has been like so far. Watching Dutto’s seat winning speech his son looked uncomfortable being there, maybe he wants to vote for the loonies when he grows up.

  11. Kaye Lee

    I have no idea why male politicians feel they must bring their family to work.

  12. Michael Taylor

    Kaye, I feel it’s a ruse to give them the fluffy family-man look, and hopefully, impress the female voter.

    I’ve noticed that the nastier a bloke it, the more he drags in the family.

  13. Consume Less

    Rekon you are right Michael, Scooter played on that strategy big time.

  14. LOVO

    Revelations or allegations??? One wonders…..

  15. Chandler Chandler

    I believe that Morrison will be still running the Liberal Party via Dutton. Dudd Dutton is a mutton head thug who hasn’t shown any leadership qualities at all in the last decade. Labor is in government now and they have the say. Go Albo Go Labor Go Greens.

  16. Jack sprat

    “all politics is local”, Dutton always plays the race card to shore up the large white South African vote in his once marginal seat of Dickson. There is even one part of his electorate that local call Little Johannesburg and they are very active in liberal party branch.

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