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Covid, Morrison And The Day My Car Stood Still

When people suggest that I’m just one of those sheep that follow people in authority blindly, I must admit that I have to agree with them. I mean, who am I to argue with them? I don’t actually think that I’m a sheep, but who am I to argue with someone who has a really strong opinion? Obviously, they have done the research and they have a really strong grasp of how it all works.

So, arguments about vaccinations and lockdowns and whether Gladys is gold standard I find difficult because I can see some really good points on all sides. It’s true that Big Pharma make enormous profits by selling us drugs we don’t need, but it’s also true that they supply drugs that actually keep people alive, even if they’re doing it for commercial rather than altruistic reasons.

I’m not a genius so I tend to rely on other people’s opinions a lot. You know, should I support a lockdown or will that just make me a sheep?

“No,” someone on Facebook told me, “you need to ignore the power structures and come and join us in protesting Covid restrictions.”

“But,” I suggested, “I’d rather not be in a large crowd of people before I’ve got my second vaccination.”

“YOU GOT A VACCINATION?” the person thundered. “Get away before you contaminate me with your shedding.”

“I don’t own a shed. I’m not very masculine when it comes to tools,” I tried to tell him, but he was probably out of earshot because this was a Facebook conversation and he’d stopped it before he could tell me what to do in order not to be a sheep.

Anyway, I couldn’t have gone to the protest without taking public transport and I never take public transport because – like renewable energy – it’s too unreliable. Like a coal-fired power station my car never lets me down.

My car just suddenly stopped working. I don’t know why, and unfortunately a very persuasive guy just convinced me that mechanics were just in it for the money and there’s no way that I need ever consult one again.

“Really?” I asked. “Because I’ve been told that I need to keep my car serviced so that it doesn’t use too much petrol.”

“Cars don’t need petrol,” he assured me. “That’s just a myth perpetuated by mechanics and oil companies. Cars run just fine on methane, which can be created from excrement.”

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Positive,” he told me. “You can run your car on shit and the silly sheep spending money on petrol have never looked into that.”

“So you’ve successfully run your car on petrol?” I asked.

“Nah, I don’t have a car. Cars are part of the whole evil mechanistic world that controls us.”

I nodded. If someone who’d totally rejected automobiles wasn’t an expert on such things, then who was?

Next day, I collected as much dog poo as I could find and put it in the petrol tank and I continued to do that for several days.

Then, for no explicable reason, my car just stopped working. I’d take it to a mechanic but such people are simply wolves.

Not that I need to worry.

I’m not a sheep.

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  1. Williambtm

    A Classic overview here in Australia. Thank you Rossleigh.
    Remember that only 70 odd years ago we are told that Australia rode on the sheep’s back.

    Back then we as a race… must have been the much lighter in our body weight, on the other hand, there’s the story about a bloke trying to mount one of his sheep, sometime later the police had arrived and grabbed him and tossed him into the back of the Police ‘Divvy’ van.
    There you go, how times have changed!

  2. Canguro

    Perfectly spoken, Rossleigh! I see a need to climb out of the box and seek advice more often. More opinions! Excellent advice, thank you.

    And a well-chosen pair to illustrate the benefits of seeking others’ views. Pozzo wielding a lump of fossilised fern, (or could it be a chunk of dried dog poo, apropos the ‘new fuel’?) while Lucky exclaims ‘Quaquaquaqua’ in naive amazement at Pozzo’s brilliance.

  3. Phil Pryor

    Morrison the cloacal c— (or a greghunt for the unenlightened) , a political perverted preposterous penile impostor, a misfit among many conservative misfits, aowel blockage posing as a pontifical prelate and a poseur of prehistoric pretensions.., a Cuckingfunt of a leader and a blot on the blot of this nation. He is a leader from impetus provided by superstition , donors, patrons, and his repulsive deputy, the member for member inserting, is a disgrace to his former family, his electorate, the notion of national planning and sensible controls.., a monument to pests, plagues, poxes, erosion, overclearing, overstocking, water theft, hunting for insider initiated personal wealth…

  4. Trevor

    Thanks Ross I needed your missive.
    Be alert, world needs leers!

  5. wam

    My sheep think you baa baa lies, Rossleigh, and they speak god’s truth.
    The leaders of the sheep are christians who say that their god’s love is the vaccine for them and they share beliefs like ‘the blood of jesus is my vaccine’ and ‘if I die I go to a better place with god’. They are hooked on american white churches (although many are Aborigines) ie Anti-vaccination attitudes have long been prevalent in America’s white evangelical community, says Monique Deal Barlow, a research and doctoral candidate at Georgia State University. That anti-vax position, Deal Barlow says, has been incorporated into a conspiratorial, anti-science political view she describes as Christian nationalism.
    Some evangelicals have found biblical justifications for their opposition to vaccination, Deal Barlow says. But much of it, she says, stems from a “suspicion of science and the global elite” fed by misinformation and conspiracy theories stoked by right-wing, white supremacist political figures.
    Hopefully, there are less than 20% christian idiots, so we may get 80% herd safety???

  6. wam

    ps get a tesla??

  7. BB

    Ahh Rossleigh, bummer, no wonder you car won’t go, comes of listening to sheeple who make out they have all the answers when in fact they know fuck all, like a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

    But I’m intelligent, I always have all the answers.

    I read The Daily Telegraph see, and the mistake you made was in using dog shit, dogs are carnivores, and what you need is shit from herbivores, and the best quality herbivore shit is bullshit… So next time try the lawns around parliament house.

    You’ll find a never ending quality supply of top grade bullshit.

  8. Bruce White

    A lovely piece of satire Rossleigh. You got me laughing. We, the sheeple, aren’t gonna take it any more. We’re mad as hell.😅 Peter Finchs’ TV anchor man Howard Beale famously said in the movie Network (1976), live to air ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore’. A brilliant movie, winning four Oscars for best actor, best actress, best supporting actress and best original screenplay (Paddy Chayefsky). It has been the inspiration for many people, shock jocks like Bolt, Jones and Zemanik (remember him? no, nobody does), in Australia, no doubt quite a few in the US,etc as well as fire and brimstone bible bashers, and a host of others. Even satirists such as Shaun Micallef and of course you yourself. Thinking about sheeple, I suppose there would be an equivalent in the sheep world (ie sheep who behave like people). Maybe they should be referred to as Bo Peeps.Or just Shaun. Actually I did know a shearer down in The Riverina whose name is Shane. That’s pretty close. There is of course a great paradox in the whole concept of supposedly following authority sheepishly (mob behaviour?) being wrong, because that would preclude someone from following people like Trump. Maybe they are not QAnon/Antivaxers/Anti Anything Scientifically Proven/etc at all. Maybe they are just anti IQ of 62+? Or maybe they are just anti belief? Maybe they should be referred to as ‘Contradictionists’. If they were Spanish speakers they could be Contradictionistas? Or Polish Kontradickioniks?😆. The whole thing becomes so ridiculous it becomes a parody of a parody of a parody.

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