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Bronwyn Bishop For Senate Spot And Other Rumours…

A very high source in the Liberal Party has told me that Bronwyn Bishop is considering her options and thinks that the Liberals may need her to stop the rot and the socialists… which are, after all, the same thing. Like all good journalists, I’m not going to reveal my source because apart from anything else he may sue me for alleging that he was high. Although the very idea that anyone could suggest that Bishop would improve the party’s problems would have to be on something.

Besides, there have been much more reasonable suggestions. Take Michael Kroger’s leak to The Australian that Tony Abbott was a possibility. When I say “leak”, it’s probably the wrong terminology because Kroger put his name to it and leaks are usually – like sources – anonymous. Of course, the difference is quite obvious. In the case of leaks, it’s because someone with access to important information has informed a journalist so that the information can be made public, while in the case of “sources close to” it’s because the story is largely made up, either by the person getting the free lunch or by the journalists themselves. The fact that Kroger has put his name to it suggests that he’s quite happy to be identified as the person who made the stupid suggestion of Tony Abbott. Perhaps he’s done so in the hope that people forget that he was a strategist in the 2018 Victorian election.

Cory Bernardi has ruled himself out because he left the Liberals when nobody was listening to him. As yet, he is still to do the same thing with his show on Sky but he’s definitely not in the running for the Senate vacancy left by the death of Jim Molan who was a patriot.

I know Jim Molan was a patriot because every single tribute to him said that. This sort of begs the question, aren’t Liberals usually patriots, and wasn’t there something more unique about him? I mean, when I’ve been asked to say a few words about a teacher leaving I tend to try and say something more than, “One thing about Barry was that he was a human being, I think we’d all agree on that, so good luck in your new role Barry where I’m sure you’ll continue to be the same human being we’ve all come to know and to accept for your human beingness…”

It seems that a much stronger contender than Abbott is Katherine Deves. Nothing says we’re listening to the electorate more than shoehorning in someone who failed to win a seat at the previous election… (Speaking of Senator Henderson, she’s blocked me on Twitter which I find strange because I’ve never commented on her tweets, but there you go.) Anyway, nominating Katherine Deves should please Alan Jones who said that the party needs to stand for something and, who cares if that something is someone whose main concern was the unfairness of transgender people playing women’s sport because it was dangerous. She was given a big tick by Scott Morrison who showed just how dangerous sport can be when he tackled a kid in a game of soccer.

The front-runner, however, is Dallas McInerney. He ticks all the boxes. He’s in the Party. He’s from NSW. He’s in the Right faction of the factionless Liberal Party. And most importantly, he’s male, so nobody can suggest that he’s just there to fill a quota and then he didn’t get there on merit.

Finally, a source has explained to me that the Liberals position on the Voice is very simple: They want it to go away, but because they can’t just delay it like they did when in government they have to find a way of keeping the racists in their party happy, without appearing to be pandering to them. So they’ve decided to adopt the strategy that worked so well with the Apology. Any day now Peter Dutton will announce that we weren’t the ones who didn’t set up the Voice in the Constitution so why should we be responsible for it when it wasn’t us and any Voice might set a precedent and we’d be held liable for all the things that our ancestors did. He’ll then say that – like the Apology – it’s just virtue signaling and that it won’t do anything to deliver practical solutions because there’s no obligation for Parliament to listen to it and that it would be better to listen to the First Nations people actually in Parliament like Jacinta Price because she opposes the Voice.

Oh, as far as the Senate vacancy goes, I can confirm that there is no truth to the rumour that Scott Morrison has already been secretly sworn in, taking on a role in both Houses.

At least, I think there’s no truth to it. I’d better check with David Hurley. You know, the Governor-General who people used to accuse of never doing anything. Little did we know how hard he was working, swearing in Scotty to a new ministry every second week!

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16 comments

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  1. Phil Pryor

    B Bishop is an egotistical black hole, a dud, a drain, a wart on the todger of politics, as bad as Abbott the Abyssmal. They and many similar conservative turdlets are a drag on the nation, all for self, image, career, money, pose. Far Cough…

  2. Kerri

    Shoehorning in Katherine Deves would just be maintaining usual practice in Jim Molan’s electorate!
    How many times did he get parachuted in and subsequently fail to be elected?

  3. Caz

    Why not Joe Hockey or Christian Porter . The list of leaners is endless. So much (lack of ) talent to choose from.

  4. Paul Smith

    Dear God,
    Please, P L E A S E let it be the Bishop or the Abbott. Forestall any choice that might signal that The Party understands its problem.
    Your suffering servant,
    [You know who I am so…]

  5. Canguro

    Bronwyn Bishop, the beehived blonde bimbo who bombed out of her Sydney University five-year LL.B. degree program after failing 11 subjects over six years and was understandably deemed ineligible to continue found refuge in a sympathetic legal firm which somehow fiddled the system to enable her to gain her professional qualification from the Solicitors’ Admission Board. Go figure! She failed, but passed. The Nancy Reagan approach to success, perhaps.

    This bumptious opinionated crow found her niche amid the NSW Liberal party in the early sixties, and in 1987 secured a sinecure as a federal senator, where, like a fly to a maggot-ridden corpse, she remained until her move to the House of Reps in 1994. Incomprehensively, opinion polls around that time showed her to be among the most popular politicians in the country, despite a quip from Foreign Minister Gareth Evans, who during one debate in 1992 exclaimed to the chamber “I am reminded of the exchange I heard recently in Parliament House when someone said, ‘Why do so many people take an instant dislike to Senator Bishop?’ to which the answer was, ‘It saves time’ [wiki]

    Beehive Bronnie did not distinguish herself during her political career; she was an opportunist, a carpetbagger, an obstructionist – she infamously took the record for the most ejections of ALP members during her tenure as Speaker, 393 times to the Coalition’s seven, she was rightly criticised for rorting the system… Choppergate being a prime example, and, all said and done, she lived up to the general view held of Liberal politicians that they’re in it for the perks, the money, the easy lifestyle, the seat-warming and the cushy pension at the end.

    The old bag’s now pushing 80. It seems unlikely that she’ll rise from the ashes of an undistinguished career to flicker, briefly, before her final guttering, but I suppose with the Liberals being the gaggle of incompetents that they currently are, anything’s possible.

  6. GL

    Jeez, bring Bronnie back and they’ll have to lay in a fleet of helicopters just for her.

  7. Stephengb

    GL
    🚁

    🎼🎶There would be,
    🎶One going up, and
    🎶One going going down, and
    🎶One going no where, just for show🎶

  8. Terence Mills

    I have it on good authority that Warren Mundine who now prefers to be known as ‘Nyunggai’ has been offered the senate seat previously held by Jim Molan.

    Mundine is a man for all seasons and all parties . Not only has he Labor credentials as their former national president but he was a Liberal candidate for the seat of Gilmore in the 2019 federal election, although he had only joined the party that week. The state executive waived the usual waiting period for new party members, and withdrew the endorsement of Grant Schultz, who had been preselected as the party’s candidate eight months previously. Mundine failed to excite the electors of Gilmore and it was the only seat won by the Labor Party at that election.

    Seems to me that Wassa is an ideal candidate for a senate parachute, despite his father in law being Gerard Henderson !

  9. Max Gross

    Tony Abbott is a huge Mad Dog Molan fan but even he – as obdurate and tone-deaf as he is – never admitted on national televison that he didn’t rely on evidence in his denial of the scientific consensus on the climate change crisis. Abbott did, however, declare that it was “absolute crap”. So if any wigged-out crackpot should be parachuted by the loony RWNJs of the LNP into Molan’s slot, it definitely should be Monsignor Abbott!!!

  10. Cool Pete

    Bronwyn Bishop started her political career in the Senate and I will never forget Gary Punch firmly telling her that she was out of order and she stubbornly refused to back down. Bronwyn Bishop was the worst Speaker the House of Reps ever had. And let’s not forget that post-politics, in her role as a farting backside (aka common tater) on Sky, she called for the defunding of the ABC because it dared to point out the fact that Jesus Christ, rather than looking like a Mediterranean Movie Star, was a man of diminutive height with black curly hair, brown eyes and dark olive skin! If that is not a call for censorship, what is?
    Krichael Moger may fart that Tone The Botty was an effective Opposition Leader (actually, he was more like a bowel obstruction) but his performance as leader of the country was embarrassing to be kind and appallingly atrocious to be harsh! And Devestation is as bad as Botty and her platform on transgender athletes is easily demolished by Mhairi Black, who said that predators can already access some women’s spaces such as change rooms and toilets. and that is NOT the same as trans rights.
    If the Liberals want to be in opposition forever, or have it that the Liberal party ceases to exist, they are on the right path if they select any of those three.

  11. Harry Lime

    Heart warming and hilarious commentary team, standards are definitely on the up on this lil’ ‘ol blog.Giving the gig to that hapless old boiler would be like Jesus running for President on the Republican ticket.Mind you,Liberals can’t be underestimated in finding new ways to kick themselves in the balls. As for the mercenary Mundine or the fuckwit Abbott….yeah,nah.

  12. Jack sprat

    To quote Paul Keating when asked years ago by a reporter what did he think about Bronwyn Bishop becoming the new leader of the liberal party in the then opposition ,replied with a broad smile ” God help the liberal party “

  13. Andrews Geoff

    I think Barnaby Joyce is the right choice to guide the LNP on the Voice.

  14. Terence Mills

    Andrew, You’re talking about the Voice ( the TV song contest) aren’t you ?

  15. New England Cocky

    @ Andrew Geoff: I did not realise that ”The Voice” called for adultery, alcoholism, amorality, bigotry, copulation, fornication, misogyny or sexual harassment that is practised by the Nazional$ representative in New England.

  16. Benjamin

    There’s nothing left, in the LNP cesspool, they are all nothing but Trump supporters and they will be condemned in opposition,
    for the rest of their lives.

    All conservatives will burn in hell, for their crimes against humanity, while they were wrecking our democratic rights.

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