Dolores Umbridge: [to Harry] As I told you, Mr. Potter, naughty children deserve to be punished.
* * *
“Sell, sell, sell, sell everything you stand for
Tell, tell, tell, tell all the people that you care for
Running here, running there
Keep it moving, sonny, don’t despair
Because the next one will be, the next one will be, the next one will be, the best one of the year”
Sell, Sell, Sell
* * *
Well, I guess some of you haven’t read Harry Potter. Or watched Bronwyn Bishop’s wonderful impersonation in her role as Speaker.
Let’s be fair. Bronwyn has always suffered from NEAS or Not Enough Attention Syndrome. Remember that she started out as a Senator, but changed to the Lower House in order to become Leader. Yes, she was going to become the first female Prime Minister. No wonder she hates Labor. They took that away from her by giving Julia Gillard her birthright. Well, at least she can still get an award for the best performance as an impersonator of Dolores Umbridge.
However, the performance of the week has to go to Andrew Bolt. Or should that be performance of the weak?
Amazingly, he managed to improve Turnbull’s standing with just about everyone. Let’s be real. Turnbull, to quote Bolt, is “on the far Left of the Liberal Party, charming a constituency that hates Abbott”. (Mm, the far Left of the Liberal Party??? Sort of like those far Left Nazis in World War 2? I know, I know, Godwin’s Law.)
So, let’s take a step back for a second. How dare he try to “charm” a constituency that hates Abbott when he should be out “selling” the Budget!
“Get your Budget here, half price. Come on, discount Budget, going cheap.”
We shouldn’t be trying to “charm” people. Unless they don’t hate Abbott. Turnbull should be like the rest of the government and try to win over those who agree with Abbott.
He should be selling.
But I guess that’s what it gets down to. Abbott and Bolt and so many of the Liberals don’t seem to understand that he’s Prime Minister, not the CEO of some company. He doesn’t have a legal obligation to make a profit. Or even a moral one. While it may be ok for the CEO of a company to say that we can make certain departments redundant because they aren’t contributing to the overall profit of the company, it becomes a little bit harder to do that as Prime Minister. “Unemployed people under thirty create a loss on their balance sheet.”
Of course, they could get work. After all we had one member of the government suggesting that people should go to Tasmania, while another suggested that Tasmanians should be prepared to move to the mainland. All this moving around should create a travel led recovery.
“Get your no frills, no extras Budget here. Come on, we’ve eliminated welfare, Medicare, pension rises, anything fair. We’ve uncapped uni fees, because that’ll allow competition to drive them down, whereas currently, the cap on the maximum they can charge stops them competing for students.”
Little did I know with my leadership speculation a few weeks ago (It’s a plan, Jim but not as we know it…) – because Malcolm had posed wearing a Hi-viz vest – would make it spread so quickly. So, when I suggested last week, that Turnbull’s meeting with Palmer may have had something to with leadership aspirations, a few Liberal supporters were dismissive, suggesting that there was nothing wrong or sinister about a couple of politicians sharing a banana after a tender duck. However, now that Andrew Bolt has decreed it, we all need to remember what a dangerous man that Malcolm is. “Far left of the Liberal Party”? Why that’s nearly as bad as that other far left millionaire Phillip Adams. And he’s a “friend of the ABC” too. God, if he wasn’t an MP, he’s could be charged with treason.
And all this, too, when the attention should be on Mr Abbott’s overseas trip where he’s off to sell D-Day, where our troops stood side by side with people from Canada, France and the USA to defeat the Germans who were trying to impose a carbon tax. Thankfully though, the forces of freedom won and Australia is now open for business.
Ok, I know that some of you will tell me that I shouldn’t talk about Bolt because it’s better to give him no publicity at all and that any publicity helps him. I can understand that point of view. Which is why I wonder why Bolt chose to make such a big thing about Turnbull’s meeting. If you wanted to close down speculation, wouldn’t have been better just to say nothing at all at this stage? Perhaps like a shadow puppet play, we shouldn’t be watching the puppets – perhaps we should concentrate on the shadows.
“Last chance Budget. We’ll do deals. Yes, that’s right – we’ll do deals. No price is too ridiculous.”
P.S. Couldn’t help notice that in an interview on his “Drive” show, Rafael Estein suggested to Graham Morris that these few weeks after the Budget had been Tony Abbott’s worst as Opposition Leader. Morris commented but didn’t seem to notice the mistake. In fact, I don’t know that even Tony has realised that he’s no longer Opposition Leader.
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