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Barnaby Launches A Spill!

Ok, you’ve all seen the photos/video of the ex-Deputy Prime Minister demonstrating his skill in answering a phone while prostrate… It’s not as easy as it looks.

There have been comparisons to Sir Les Paterson by some, while others are using the cheap joke that this is unfair on poor Sir Les who managed to remain upright.

Let’s be clear here, we shouldn’t be making jokes about someone who’s so pissed that they can’t stand up. Alcohol is a serious problem. We need to acknowledge that. As Barnaby himself said:

“You have to be honest about the source. About 40 to 50 per cent of the problem is alcohol. If you don’t want to call it that then I don’t know what you want to say. It’s fairies at the bottom of the garden, it’s the alignment of the planet. No, it’s people chasing grog…

Well, he was talking about Alice Springs but I think he does make some very valid points.

Just like when he called himself a “dead f@cking c#nt” while talking to his wife on the phone. I’m adding the symbols because I’m quoting directly from a couple of the papers and I don’t want to be accused of misquoting the man. Anyway, according to his partner, Vikki Campion, he “likes to self-flaggelate”… which goes a long way toward explaining his presence in Parliament when he asserts that he’d rather that government just get out of our lives.

She was also quoted as saying: “I’ve been with Barnaby when we have found a man in the same state on the street and rather than take a video and sell it to the media, he picked the guy up and took him home.”

Now, while I have no wish to disparage the couple’s Good Samaritan act, I don’t know that a federal politician and their partner filming someone lying in the street and trying to sell it to the media is the sort of thing that’s liable to lead to favourable media coverage, so it’s not really an option.

Just for clarity, I should explain that Barnaby’s predicament was caused by a simple accident where he wasn’t concentrating and walked into something he didn’t see: the ground. Once there, he decided that it was better to continue to talk on the phone rather than get up because, as anyone with a degree in Psychology knows, multitasking is a myth.

Now there have been a number of reactions from his colleagues but basically they’re saying that it’s a reflection on modern society that the person filmed it because whenever they find Barnaby self-flagellating on the ground their first reaction is not to reach for their phone and film it; their first reaction is to offer assistance… I presume that’s assistance in standing up and not in the flagellating department…

This whole incident just shows how unfair society is. Anyone else would have probably been given free accommodation in a police cell while poor Mr Joyce was left to fend for himself in the cold Canberra night.

We need to remember that Barnaby is “one of the best retail politicians” in the country so I’m sure he can be forgiven for a misdemeanour like this and I’m sure that he’ll be back to campaigning in no time…

Not in Dunkley, obviously because the Nationals won’t be standing a candidate there, and so the Coalition will have to do without the unique skills of Mr Joyce who recently called wind farms “filth” asserting that they’re not farms but factories, prompting most people to wonder if he considers coal-fired power stations farms or factories.

Even without Mr Joyce, the Liberals are still a good chance of being able to spin the result in Dunkley favourably. After all, after a week of Dutton and his cohorts telling everyone that Albanese’s broken promise would finish him, Simon Benson managed to write an article about how Newspoll had stayed the same and the tax cuts hadn’t given Labor a bounce in the polls.

Similarly with Dunkley, at this moment in the electoral cycle with the cost of living issues, the lack of rate relief from the RBA, the loss of a personal vote for Peta Murphy after her death and the broken promise attacks, you’d have to think that anything less than a win would be bad news. However, I suspect that any swing away from the government will suddenly be perceived as a massive plus for Dutton and we’ll hear something like one of the following from Bridget McKenzie’s partner:

“Excellent result, Dutton managed to get something like the average swing for a by-election and that’s hard when you have by-election caused by a tragedy like this.”

Or, in the unlikely event that Labor increase their majority, we’d get:

“Great result under the circumstances when you have a government throwing money at the public! They’ve obviously been blinded by the bribe of tax cuts and it’ll take a while for the government’s dishonesty to bite in the suburbs.”

Whatever, in three weeks’ time we’ll have Samantha Maiden and/or Phil Coorey on “Insiders” telling us that Labor’s refusal to announce any plans on negative gearing is enabling the Coalition to frighten people with a scare campaign about Labor’s plans for negative gearing and so they’d better say something that we can say that people won’t believe them so they’d be better saying nothing rather than giving Dutton ammunition by saying something!


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  1. Katie

    The ONLY spill this notorious, racist, right-wing extremist (Barnyard Joyce) causes is when he trips and falls in the gutter in what is now widely considered to be an almost permanent state of drunken stupor! The man is a disgrace, a serial alcoholic and should be removed from politics but, tragically, the gormless, Murdoch-manipulated fools in New England keep supporting this non-achieving political parasite. As such, his constituents are quite OK with the fact that they are supporting Joyce’s evident alcoholism by funding his (seemingly) endless supply of taxpayer-funded booze!

  2. Kerri

    Phil Coorey, demonstrating how the media begs for a lead storyso they can write history.

  3. Clakka

    Thanks Rossleigh, a concise sitrep. Sums up the likelihoods so eloquently.

    Even though he’s full of ink, the Beetrooter couldn’t come close, because despite being a gouging retail politician, he’s suffering a perennial shortage of think, and has resorted to laying down on the job.

  4. Pingback: Barnaby Launches A Spill! - independent news and commentary Australia

  5. Ken Fabian

    “Isn’t Barnaby funny?” seems to be entirely enough explanation for mainstream journalists and news editors, even ones who ostensibly are not LNP partisans to overlook things they would relentlessly criticise in others, especially any “not LNP” perpetrators.

    When questioned about an overseas trip in a mining magnate’s private jet – an undeclared gift from someone known to seek to influence politics to their own benefit – he said it saved the taxpayers money! “Ha, ha, isn’t Barnaby funny?” – as he takes bribes or unnecessary helicopter trips or otherwise abuses the high trust he has and does hold, apparently in contempt.

  6. GL

    I reckon they should give the ground a bravery medal for saving Bananabrain from falling off the planet.

  7. James Cook

    As Neddy Seagoon once said, “Luckily the ground was there to break my fall.” Or was that Eccles?
    Meanwhile, I don’t understand why Labor, when quizzed on changes to negative gearing, don’t respond with “Why are you talking about this? Is this what you want?” And if the “journalist” responds that Libs are raising the point, continue with, “Well, why not ask them? Do they want changes? We are not talking about changes. We think the Coalition must be softening you up before they introduce…” Etc. For Dog’s sake, take control of the narrative!

  8. Max Gross

    Why? WHY do New England voters keep giving the Beetrooter the green light???

  9. Doug Anderson

    “As Neddy Seagoon once said, “Luckily the ground was there to break my fall.” Or was that Eccles?”


  10. Mr Shevill Mathers

    What a role model for up and coming would be young politicians. Utter disgrace, always has been, a leech on the public purse, maybe sacked from government he might drink less if he had to pay for it. Yeh, and pigs might fly!!

  11. andyfiftysix

    Barnaby is a lesson in how to be an arsehole politician. Stand for nothing but what gets you into power. Once in power do as you damn well like. His latest mantra is that renewables will be a blight on the landscape. Maybe a suitable punishment is to strap him to an exhaust pipe of a ram 1500. let him suck on those fumes for a while. humanity is wasted on this individual.

  12. Jack sprat

    Would you still trust your accountant with your money after seeing and hearing him like that on a late night out.

  13. GL

    “Joyce is dealing with a medical issue…” He’s an inveterate boozer that’s the issue. He was tanked out his gourd, “Witnesses say Joyce was seen at two functions at Parliament House on Wednesday night in the lead-up to the 11.30pm video.” so I find the supposed unnamed medical condition to be more of a panic mode spin attempt and I’m not about to change my views until evidence is forthcoming to back up the claim.


  14. Zathras

    It’s interesting how the media have brushed this off as some sort of harmless quirk that will be forgotten in a few days but imagine the ongoing outrage if it was a former ALP Deputy Prime Minister.

    How many free passes does he deserve?

    In the growing annals of Liberal Party embarrassment I think this even tops Malcolm Fraser wandering about trouserless and robbed in a seedy Memphis hotel back in the eighties.

    Meanwhile it’s nice to see Banana-by is keeping the memory of Barry Humphreys alive by becoming the personification of Sir Les Patterson.

  15. GL

    All this idiot piece from Rupert has done is show just how much of a brain dead moron Bananababy is, particularly if he knew that the supposed medication he’s taking (maybe for liver damage?) reacts badly to the copious amounts of alcohol he’s wont to imbibe. He’s an alcoholic and stain on the Australian body politic like Der Spud and almost all the rest of the LNP.


  16. Phil Pryor

    All the comment show B Juiced as the turd he is and always was. He falls and thumps and talks on. Someone in Merde Dog’s megia maggot menagerie will say “Good old Barnaby, he always knows when he’s had enough.” The sickest country party joke…but does Australia care enough to rid itself of this Un-Australian nematodal nitwit nuisance? Are jokes all there is?

  17. Harry Lime

    People keep asking why the burghers of New England keep voting for him….maybe it’s because he best represents their views of themselves.

  18. Terence Mills

    Barnaby is caught in the situation many federal politicians find themselves in. He probably realizes that he has no future as a leader in the National Party and could never repeat the accident of history that made him our Deputy Prime Minister. But he can’t afford to leave.

    Members of federal parliament and other public office holders received a 4% pay rise last August awarded by the independent remuneration tribunal. This put Barnaby on a basic salary as a backbencher of $225,742 plus numerous expenses and allowances. That’s up from a basic salary of $217,060 or about two-and-a-third times the average earnings of a full-time worker.

    Barnaby can’t afford to quit politics so it remains for the electors of New England to give him a shove at the 2025 election.

    Get rid of him for all our sakes !

  19. andyfiftysix

    At the very least, the media should be asking what medication he is on. Its in the public interest so that others on that medication dont have the same issues.

    OHHH, SORRY, nudge nudge wink wink, its a cover for him being pissed out of his mind. I am still waiting for the water report junket he was given…….legalised theft i call it.

    What was the last great piece of legislation barnaby proposed? His position is an over paid sinecure……..a blight on our taxes.

  20. Jack sprat

    Just as Don Quixote fight against windmills signalled his descent into madness, the Barnyard’s crusade against wind turbines has signalled his ,

  21. andyfiftysix

    Jack, somebody should send Barny a copy of the book…..hahahahaha

    Oh wait , somebody wrote a song about windmills of your mind…….

  22. Jack sprat

    Barnyard was flat on his back cursing himself cause he forgot to get a six pack before the pub closed for the walk home

  23. Old fella

    Petrhaps the best Barnaby Joyce put down by Tony Burke:

  24. Phil Pryor

    Can Barnaby Gucking-Farbage actually speak English? What is shown here is drunken, fumbling, inarticulate, egopoxed rubbish.

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