Barnaby Has Already Achieved Net Zero!

Current poster boy for Real Australians, Barnaby Joyce

One thing I’ve noticed about Coalition governments is that they like to tell us that they have a plan. Ok, exactly what it is may not be self-evident. I guess that’s why they need to tell just that there is one even if it’s; a) commercial-in-confidence or; b) part of a booklet that us that doesn’t mention the details but has lots of photos of Coalition MPs or; c) being developed in greater detail to be released some time in the very near future… Yes, in the scheme of human history any time this century is in the near future.

So it was rather surprising to hear Barnaby Joyce on the ABC this morning tell us that he couldn’t commit to net zero until he’d had a chance to look at the plan and consider whether saving the planet was worth the cost…

Ok, I’m going to have to digress and make a point that I’ve made many times before: WE ARE NOT SAVING THE PLANET WITH ACTION ON CLIMATE CHANGE!!

That might sound a bit controversial. I may even sound like I’ve gone back to my National Party roots when I say that the planet’s climate has changed many times in its history and that it’ll adapt. but hear me out. Of course, the planet will adapt. It’s humans that may not. We may become extinct and take all those things we regard as cute and cuddly with us, leaving just the cockroaches… which, in spite of what some may think, does not include Rupert Murdoch and his stenographers.

Yes, Barnaby wanted the Labor Party to release a plan for achieving net zero. He didn’t seem to realise that he’s been in government for the past eight years… perhaps that’s because he’s been a bit disoriented over the past few years owing to… can I say a range of factors without another Coalition MP getting all litigious?

Anyway, he did tell us where he was – Walcha Road – several times in the interview… perhaps it was code, perhaps it was a request for someone to come looking for him. Whatever, it certainly answers my charge about him being disoriented incorrect when it comes to geography. However, I was referring to that video he released where he demanded that the government get out of his life… Personally, I agree and think it would be awesome if the government had no connection to Joyce, however…

So Labor, it’s up to you. Barnaby has told us that they don’t have a plan and this is a problem for Scott Morrison – who we’re told wants to achieve net zero emissions at the same time as vaccinating the population. Both are to happen, “as soon as possible” which is a pretty ambitious plan for most of us, but it seems pretty pedestrian for a man like him who believes in miracles. Couldn’t we have at least one of them happening before it’s possible instead of waiting for the possible? Otherwise, where’s the miracle?

sigh<

Maybe I should just congratulate Barnaby for achieving net zero in politics and conclude that maybe the planet knows what it’s doing and when the cockroaches take over, it might be an improvement.

 

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

14 Comments

  1. In the 70’s, when I was a teenager, these evangelical shit-heads were thoroughly laughed out of the room. Now it seems they’re back; and their God who supports all the eschatological clap-trap that all religions are currently facing, is stronger, mightier than ever! Forget Science; Religion is bigger than ever.

  2. Barnaby is always the man with a fully costed plan. Indeed, he never leaves home without one. Well, that’s his claim.

    It’s why, as a devout Catholic, he planned a Mistress, sired a pair of Bastards (religiously speaking of course), created four legitimate Daughters (now estranged), as well as being still encumbered with a Wife who doesn’t believe in divorce.

    Just about sums up where we are at.

    Will probably take up a Hillsong franchise in retirement.

  3. This political pervert, foreign agent, bumboy for other people’s corporations, a traitor to Australia, Barnaby Rootemand-Drinkmore, is a disgrace to the nation, district, public life, decent behaviour.

  4. Interesting, the change may (need to) come from the inside of the LNP and southern Australia, or the NSW/QLD LNP may simply implode despite their autocracy, while no amount of even more crazed and unbalanced media support will help.

    Recently the Vic NP had an unsuccessful motion to disaffiliate from the federal NP (after reinstatement of Joyce, climate science denial and corrupt water mismanagement) while key Liberals in Victoria are begging NewsCorp to stop constantly attacking the Victorian govt. and Premier (as Andrew’s ratings rose amongst Lib voters…..).

  5. Barnaby, in a hat he borrowed from Bob Katter, told us yesterday that he would not commit to having lunch until he had seen the menu and checked the prices and the same applies to climate change and net zero by 2050.

    Barnaby’s metaphor seems to be that all of the evidence before us with surging temperatures in Europe and North America, unprecedented flooding in Germany and Belgium, bush fires in Australia and the US, the disappearance of glaciers and sea level increases : none of this is good enough for him to accept that we must recognise and start tackling climate change.

    Barnaby, don’t worry about the menu and the price of the meal, the kitchen is on fire and the restaurant is flooded.

  6. Perhaps now Rossleigh you understand the too many frustrations of the few thinking voters in New England. Barnyard was spawned in New Zealand and raised in the wilds of outer Walcha Road, a whistle-stop for the train coming up the hill from Tamworth.

    The White Supremacists in Tamworth organised his election after Tony Windsor (Independent) retired under family health pressure in 2013 and his Campaign Manager (a former Nazional$ leader)
    plus Campaign Committee in 2016 ran a defamatory campaign against the entire Windsor family claiming that Windsor was having it off with any piece of skirt.

    You will notice that this 2016 election campaign was occurring while Barnyard was concurrently running a sexual affair with his staffer bit of fluff and breeding the first of his two bastards. Given the local knowledge of the time, this campaign clearly demonstrates that the entire Nazional$ Campaign Committee lack any morals despite asserting that they are ”good Christians”..

    Barnyard has opened a few small bridges on quiet country roads to the broadacre properties of the few geriatric Nazional$ Party members, published a couple of taxpayer funded self promotion handouts and generally kept himself available for Nazional$ members while excluding the Australian voter hoi-pollloi. HIs participation in the dirty water deal to use Armidale drinking water in Malpas Dam to grow export tomatoes for a Canadian agri-investment corporation, at supply rates much less than that paid by Armidale ratepayers demonstrates that the Nazional$ want a country third world economy without manufacturing jobs to protect the incumbent Nazional$ politicians from the workers who usually vote Labor.

    City folk must realise that this is about the limit for the expected work-load of a Nazional$ politician in country Australia, plus claiming credit for work done by others and preaching the great myth that “Vote Nazional$ and we will give you [public infrastructure project]”.

    So remember that in 2013 Tony Windsor achieved feral Budget funding for upgrading the killer Bolivia Hill, 30km south of Tenterfield and for the Tenterfield town By-Pass. The Bolivia Hill upgrade is almost complete but the interstate transports still run a very real risk of killing pedestrians on any of the three pedestrian crossings in Tenterfield … because Tony Abbott cancelled that funding as soon as he was informed that Windsor would not nominate in 2013 …with Barnyard REPORTED AS LAUGHING!!

    Thank you Tony Windsorand Rob Oakeshott (Independent MP Lyne) for saving Australia from the 2013Toxic RAbbott COALition misgovernment which subsequently allowed ALL AUSTRALIANS to survive the 2008 GFC thanks to the Rudd Henry LABOR financial plan.

    Barnyard Joke has indeed achieved ”Nett Zero” for New England.

  7. It is so bloody “good” for all of us that this fucking poor excuse for a real man is still with us & still trying to appear clever! Where would Australia be without this fuck wit–in far better condition than it is right now that is for sure! Now if he would only take ALL his bloody liberal/national mates with him & fuck off, Australia will be ever so much better off than we are at present! Great & true article, as usual, Rossleigh! Climate change is just a two word slogan that the COALition would NEVER do anything about whist they are in “charge” (sic), ALL they want to do is cosset ALL their obscenely wealthy business mates, the BASTARDS!!!

  8. After listening to Barnaby Joyce the only conclusion possible is Barnaby Joyce has reached net zero in brain cells.

  9. Is there in existence, anywhere, a National Party member who exhibits decency, honesty, an exhibited degree of rationally acceptable intelligence, a commitment to their electorate in the fairest sense of the word, and a willingness to avoid the temptation to go low and plunge deeply into the trough where he or she can slurp to their heart’s content on the seemingly never-ending slush of public funds for their own benefit?

    Is the moon really made of green cheese?

    In a true-to-form display of sagrapes, Lismore-based Federal NP member Kevin Hogan had a spiteful dummy spit over Lismore Council’s handover of council-owned land to the traditional owners, the Widjabul-Wyabul people, who consider the land to be sacred.

    ‘We coulda build a 100 homes there’, Hogan hissed. He might have said, but perhaps was marginally conscious enough not to, ‘disgraceful, giving land away to aboriginals.’

  10. Canga, Hogan of Lismore is a turgid turd, on the make and/or take for sure, because you can’t make a backhander buck out of giving aboriginals some land for free, actually their own by honest rights of descent. The “crown” can get stuffed as the symbol of theft, murder, occupation, humiliation.

  11. Now you are talking fact, Rossleigh, climate change is natural and ongoing. The point is does the emission of green house gases cause a green house effect that upsets the natural action of climate change? Science says yes, barnaby’s god says no. ps canguro and phil why ‘Kevin Hogan’ but not Aboriginals???

  12. Disappointingly Mr Speers failed to ask what Mr Joyce’s menu shows for what fossil fuel energy will cost in 30 years time – as if anyone CAN know. Nor can we know what the costs of global warming impacts will be to rural Australia, nor what the impacts to how much worse global warming will be by aligning with nations opposed to taking responsibility for their emissions – in opposition to the alliance of nations that take decades of top level science based advice seriously.

    It ought to be clear even to people in The Nationals and Liberals that near term the competitive costs of clean energy make taking advantage of them compelling, irrespective of uncertainty about how the last steps to zero emissions remain unclear – yet at every juncture they choose what helps fossil fuels and constrains growth of clean energy. And never pass over an opportunity to stoke alarmist economic fear of renewables, nor a chance to disparage everyone who takes the climate challenge seriously.

    It also seems glaringly obvious to me that a “we won’t unless nation x does it first so it will be their fault if we don’t do our share” position is logically and ethically problematic and obvious that mainstream journalists and news editors fail to challenge that logic and those ethics as a matter of choice.

  13. @Bronte Allan: I offered a Kiwi friend and Rugby fan a swap deal of one month of NZ PM Jacinda Ardern in Australia in exchange for the Australian Wannabes Rugby team, the return of former NZ national Barnyard Joke and the entire Australian fascist COALition misgovernment. His wife reports that he is still laughing some months after receiving the offer …..

    @Canguro: You are certainly optimistic until you understand that the first cull of potential Nazional$ candidates removes any person with any character, ability and/or principles that may jeopardise the too many scams already in existence that benefit the unelected political hacks who control pre-seection in the Nazional$ Party.

    The first objective of any Nazional$ politician is to stay in office harvesting ”political donations” aka ”political bribes” to maintain their ranking within the Party so that they may climb up the dead men’s shoes into Ministries where the financial pickings will support their pecuniary interests.

  14. @wam, yes, I stand corrected, thank you. I should have capitalised the word.

    I might add, in passing, that your comments seem a case of, pot, kettle…

    If you’re going to get picky & pedantic over grammatical slips, then one may as well point out that the use of more than one question mark is non-standard punctuation, that ‘barnaby’ is a proper noun and the ‘b’ deserves to be upper case, as does the ‘p’ in phil, as does the ‘l’ in lord (John Lord).

    But all these are minor infractions, as is a lower case ‘a’ instead of upper case. One learns that questioning others over their grammatical slips is merely an exercise in pedantry, and of no account.

    Deliberate trolling and nasty criticism of others’ ideas & opinions is of another order altogether.

    Warmest best, (upper case ‘c’), Canguro.

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