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Now, I know that I’m meant to write satire but sometimes I just have to use my language skills to point out what is probably bleedin’ obvious.

Compare the way the conservatives among us thunder on about burglaries and carjackings to the way they respond to people who are prepared to steal your life-savings…

No, I don’t mean the Labor Party. Honestly, the whole kerfuffle about the idea that money going to retirees from dividends should be taxed at least once was a great example of how the Liberals – with the help of Murdoch – can spin things that make Chicken Little’s “the sky is falling” look like a case of understatement.

But anyway, Victoria was being hit with a crime wave because of Dan Andrews being too soft on crime and that was making people too scared to go out at night. Well, that’s what we were being told. Although this did seem to stop once polling showed that, while people were becoming more concerned about gangs, they also felt that Labor would be better at dealing with it. We didn’t seem to hear much about African gangs after that.

However, I think that conservative calls for tougher sentences make an interesting comparison when placed along side Scott Morrison’s comments on the Royal Commission into Things We Tried To Avoid Looking Into Because These Men Aren’t Linked To Labor. Our Treasurer really got stuck into AMP, telling us:

“This type of behaviour can attract penalties which include jail time. That’s how serious these things are.”

Ok, it seems fair enough if you don’t actually compare it to say, a car theft. I can’t imagine any Liberal politician telling us that maybe, just maybe, a car theft could attract a penalty. You know, it might. And that penalty could include jail time. So, shucks, guys, you really shouldn’t be doing that sort of thing. I mean it’s that serious. So please don’t do it again, hey? Of course, it’s not like AMP and some of the banks were actually taking your car for a joy ride. Nah, they were just giving some people advice that led to them losing their home.

So it’s a bit rich when people complain that they were charged for financial advice they never received. I mean, given the quality of the financial advice and the fact that the Liberals opposed legislation to ensure that a financial advisor was acting in his or her client’s best interests, people who didn’t receive any advice at all should have been more than happy to pay for the privilege. Nay, they should have been grateful. Instead, they’re complaining.

The Liberals were right. There’s no need for a banking Royal Commission. It’s just fostering ill will and leading to a lot of complaints from people. Ok, not perhaps, the dead clients that the Commonwealth Bank continued to charge for advice even though they knew that they’d died. Let’s be real here, people. Dead people aren’t in the best position to make their own decisions so they probably needed the advice more than anyone. I have it from a source that in many cases the advice was: “You should stop paying me now that you’re dead.” Not one of these dead clients are complaining that the advice was wrong, even if it wasn’t heeded.


I had another paragraph, but some days when I consider that, not only is Scott Morrison our Treasurer but he doesn’t seem as disconnected from reality as the rest of the government, words just fail me.



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  1. Peter F

    Priceless, not worthless. Thanks again Rossleigh.

  2. Charles A

    I met Scott Morrison on the hustings in 2007, he was introduced by the retired Bruce Baird.
    I took an instant dislike to Morrison.
    It has saved me lots of time since.
    Today he was spinning the RC as one of great achievements.
    (ps I think his optometrist hates him)

  3. lawrencewinder

    When will the ludicrous facade of economic sagacity be ripped from these ruling rabble faces?

  4. Glenn Barry

    Is it just me or does Froth Pondscum pull that face in pretty much every press conference? It just howls “look at me up here – talking crap and lying about most everything and no-one in the press gallery has the cojones to call me out on it”.

    But hey if we stop the bankers thieving from their clients by actually taking steps to imprison them, how are they supposed to make ends meet, they’ll be stealing luxury cars for chop shops just for their cocaine supply funds

  5. Rhonda

    I like this Rossleigh style..and I share your dismay and disgust

  6. Cassandra

    Why is funny stuff the saddest of truths?

  7. Matters Not


    he doesn’t seem as disconnected from reality

    Perhaps he constructs his own reality? And then will suffer the consequences if it’s a then perceived mis-construct? Presumably, he will then reconstruct? (The important bit.)

    Or is it the case, that when it comes to reality, humans have no input?


  8. Zathras

    African gangs terrorising Melbourne again?

    About 11 years ago – about a month before the increasingly desperate Howard lost to Rudd, they trotted out this little tale –

    Sadly, the black victim in that film clip was later murdered by two white men out to “clean up the streets from n*ggers” on the basis of that media campaign.

    It seems strangely familar. It was a contrived media stunt back then and the recent allegations about the mythical “Apex Gang” are more of the same.
    Before we had the Muslims to bash it was all about Chinese Triad gangs infiltrating Sydney. (Whatever happened to them?)

    Now the government is trying to take credit for the Banking Commission they specifically tried to avoid.

    It’s easy to write it off a shameless opportunism but it’s far more sinister to deliberately scapegoat and target a community for political gain while protecting an entire economic sector from scrutiny.

  9. Lurline O'Brien

    I’ve just spent the last 6 hours wandering around the Melbourne CBD, using a walker. We’ve eaten dinner and seen comedy festival shows at various venues, and I’ve only seen one African all night. He definitely wasn’t in a gang as he was the sound tech at one of the gigs.

    I’m so disappointed that I keep missing my African gang experienceas I’m in the city 3-4 nights a week. Am I not good enough for them, or is this government full of shit?

  10. johno

    The latter.

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