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AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists

Of course, when I say that the Australian Federal Police found no evidence of the existence of Malcolm Roberts, I have to be fair and point out that they didn’t look for any. As with the Angus Taylor case, they saw no need to waste valuable resources when there was very little likelihood of finding any evidence. And there was obviously almost no chance of finding any evidence because they weren’t going to look.

And, as with the Angus Taylor case, the absence of any evidence – apart from a letter containing incorrect information which he signed – doesn’t prove anything one way or the other, so it’s best to keep an open mind and accept that there is a possibility, however, unlikely, that somebody who could be stupid enough after being wrong in their assertion that they didn’t have dual citizenship because they didn’t believe they had it, could turn around and start asserting that large numbers of scientists were wrong on the basis of their personal belief.

Given the unlikelihood of Roberts’ existence, I can’t see why so many people are still talking about him. Surely it’s time to move on and look at some of the other problems facing Australia:

  • After promising to be a “no excuses” government, the Liberals excused Tony Abbott from PM duties and agreed to let Turnbull be the guy as long as he promised not to actually do or say anything about climate change. Now Mal’s gone and Scottwhogotsackedfrommarketing has said a number of times that climate change is real and we need to do something about it as soon as somebody comes up with something that we can do that doesn’t affect anything that we’ve done in the past, change anyone’s work practices or cost money.
  • Frydenberg is suggesting that the balanced Budget that they achieved last year was all they needed to do because the Surplus was “never an end in itself” and now they’ve balanced the Budget that practically counts as the Surplus they promised, so they don’t need to make excuses and they can help out all those in need because of the drought and the bushfires. (Of course, using the logic that a balanced Budget that is close to a Surplus, one could argue that Collingwood won the 2018 Grand Final because the game was balanced and it was only one kick in the end.) In order to help those in need, we may need to take money from the NDIS and crackdown on welfare recipients who don’t understand that the best form of welfare is a job which everyone can get. Look how easy it is for failed Liberal MPs to get work when they lose!
  • To encourage young people to look for apprenticeships in the trade area, PM Morrison engaged Scott Cam as a jobs ambassador. Now, lots of students are interesting in becoming a tradie so they can be paid hundreds of thousands to do nothing. Unfortunate that the jobs ambassador has the name S.Cam.
  • In a “7-30” interview, minor party deputy leader, David Littleproud, argued that people shouldn’t vote Greens because they were a minor party and had no power. His use of the phrase “We cut the cheques” was unfortunate given the only reason that he became deputy was because of all those large cheques that Bridget McKenzie approved. He went on to complain about the “emotional two-word slogan ‘climate change’!” Slogan? Surely all slogans are three words like “Stop the boats” or “meet and beat”. Still, Littleproud did tell us that he wasn’t academically gifted. I don’t know why he felt the need for the word “academically”!
  • Speaking of stopping the boats, the Liberals have a new plan to eliminate them once and for all. By privatising the visa system, instead of paying people smugglers, potential asylum seekers can just pay the preferred tender for a visa and come by plane. Unfortunately, the Liberals declared a donation of $165,000 from a company run by one of the people attempting to win the billion dollar contract. They quickly scrubbed this and explained that the disclosure was a mistake which makes me unsure as to whether it was the disclosure that was the mistake because they were intending to hide it, or the fact that the money was never intended to go to the Liberal Party and that it was just an administrative error. If it was the latter, it does concern me that this is not the sort of thing we want from someone in charge of our borders. To paraphrase John Howard, “We will decide who issues our visas and how much they can charge us, but they get to decide who gets in and the circumstances under which the money gets transferred to hopefully the right account.”

So, it’s little wonder that AFP can’t waste their valuable resources on Angus Taylor when it was simply a matter of fraud and he said sorry and not much damage was done because the document used had such dodgy information that anyone could pick it as unbelievable… except apparently Angus, but how can you expect from a busy minister to check what they’re putting their name to. The AFP need to concentrate on tipping off the media about raids on union offices and not tipping off the media before the raid their houses.

And, of course, their most pressing investigation.

I suspect that one will take even longer than their investigation into Michaelia Cash’s office.

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  1. Kerri

    12 hours ago news broke of the arrest and deportation of one Mr Tom Zhou.
    You may recall the scandal last year that broke around Mr Zhou’s links to Crown Casino and Dude Ranch near Murrindindi where tourists are encouraged to shoot wombats.
    The arrest was made by police in Fiji. NOT THE AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL POLICE,!!!!!
    Mr Zhou has travelled unhampered in and out of Australia despite an Interpol alert having been issued by China for his arrest.
    One wonders if poor Annika Smethurt’s undies were so captivating as to keep police from doing their job both domestically and internationally???
    The AFP are a joke.

  2. Merkin Wartoff

    The AFP is at its best when shuffling through young female reporters’ underwear drawers.

  3. pierre wilkinson

    wouldn’t it be nice if we had a federal police force divorced from any one political party…
    this just highlights the necessity of a federal ICAC with judicial powers to deal with the blatant corruption that infests our government

  4. Pingback: AFP Finds No Evidence That Malcolm Roberts Exists #auspol - News Oz

  5. Peter F

    ‘Scottwhogotsackedfrommarketing’…. one of the many gems in this sad but great post. Thanks.

  6. Geoff Andrews

    A most enjoyable read.
    I have a cunning theory. Assuming Angus just signs every document that floats in front of him (had he have actually read the forgery, surely he would have screamed to himself, “How much travel? Surely that can’t be right!”), the profile of the perpetrator of the forgery is a Grade 10 work experience, Young Lib computer nerd trying to ingratiate himself to poor ol’ gullible Angus.
    Is it true that Mrs Angus Taylor (that should get the girls a’howling) is a potential Sydney Council Lord Mayoral candidate?

  7. Kaye Lee

    As usual, a wonderful read Rossleigh. You have a real talent for pointing out the ridiculous.

  8. Rossleigh

    Ah, Kaye Lee, it’s not talent; it’s that the ridiculous is so easy to find. When it comes to the ridiculous and the state of world politics, I have stood on the shoulders of giants.

  9. crypt0

    Scottwhogotsackedfrommarketing … has a nice ring to it!
    Nice work Rossleigh … they tell me he hates being called Scottyfrommarketing, so hopefully
    Scottywhogotsackedfrommarketing will meet with his approval!

  10. Kaye Lee


    It’s the way you say it 🙂

  11. Barry Thompson

    Rossleigh-and we are all being stood on by political pissants.

  12. DrakeN

    Yes, Kaye, and to paraphrase: “It ain’t what you say, it’s they way that you say it.”

    Another beauty, Rossleigh.

  13. New England Cocky

    “Still, Littleproud did tell us that he wasn’t academically gifted. I don’t know why he felt the need for the word “academically”!”.

    An easy explanation ….. Barnyard has a Accountancy degree from UNE (but they do not boast about it) and until the Kiwi Bye-election was a Fellow of St Albert’s College when they parted ways. Was it something about moral behaviour?

    Little-to-be-proud-of is an ill-educated bogan protecting family water use to produce bumper cotton crops during no pumping droughts. Perhaps he believes that he should be as academically qualified as Barnyard to do the same job of looking after the 4/168 MDB water licence holders who control about 75% of water entitlements and provide considerable funds to the Nazianal$ to protect their pumping practices and subsequent profits.

    Indeed, I am surprised that Little-to-be-proud-of appears to have been weaned out of the Barnyard Coven of Croneys given that Little-to-be-proud-of is reported as a follower of the Barnyard marital morals and holds the seat of Maranoa once coveted by Barnyard as a stepping stone into the House of Reps from being a Queensland Senator.

  14. king1394

    Remembering how Dr Jim Cairns, a great ALP MP and Minister came to grief by signing a letter carelessly.

    As Wikipedia describes: In 1974, Cairns was introduced by Robert Menzies to George Harris, a Melbourne businessman and president of the Carlton Football Club.[13] Harris had offered to secure loan funds for the Australian government, and in March 1975 Cairns signed a letter agreeing to a 2.5% commission.

    Many blamed the disorganised state of Cairns’ office for what ultimately turned out to be a misleading statement to Parliament in June that he had not authorised any such commission. Cairns claimed that he had signed the letter in question unknowingly while signing a batch of fifty or so letters and that it was not uncommon practice for politicians to sign letters that they had little or no memory of signing.

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