Abbott, Shirtfront and Words of the Year!

Say NO to Brandis’ mandatory data retention regime

Apparently, thanks to Mr Abbott, “shirtfront” has just been named word of the year. This is in spite of the fact that the National Dictionary director admitting that it was hard to define after Tony used it to refer to his intentions for Mr Putin.

Still, I guess that seems appropriate for the current government, as nothing they say seems be clear, particularly the statements they make in an attempt to clarify their changes to their unchanged positions. For example, the $7 co-payment no longer has to be paid up front. Or at all. It’s up to the doctor to decide if he or she want to be paid $5 less, so you can see that it’s something that doesn’t concern the Senate at all, so why should they vote it down, because it hasn’t even been taken there.

Another thing that doesn’t need any up front payments is your university fees. I saw an ad in a bus shelter which said that thanks to HECS, you paid zero upfront. Sort of like when you put something on the credit card where don’t pay now, you pay enormous amounts later – but that analogy only works when you’re talking about Labor governments.

But I don’t want to get all political here. I’m just trying to make my contribution for word of the year for 2015.

Just as “doing a Bradbury” came to mean someone who came from behind to win when everyone else fell over, I feel that we can add the following to our lexicon. Or whatever the word is. If Tony can use “shirtfront” to mean, have a private meeting where I tell the Russian leader that I’m very grateful that he saw me so I could pretend that I spoke harshly to him, then I can misuse the odd word without the pedants crawling out the p(ed)antry. (Ants/ pantry – it’s a pun, ffs!)

Anyway, henceforth the following definitions apply:

To do an abbott – To loudly protest and complain and announce one’s intention to do all manner of things, only to meekly change one’s turn after being criticised.

To do a pyne – To argue that the only way to resolve this is to look at the facts, and then proceed to proclaim a large number of things as factual when they are either a matter of opinion or just plain wrong.

To do a hockey – To proclaim that in order to prevent a particular thing one has to do that very thing. For example, in order to reduce the country’s debt we have to eliminate the debt ceiling and borrow more money. Or in order that the standard of living of Australians doesn’t suffer, most of us will have to live in a cardboard box while people with no qualifications from third world countries come over here to work in jobs that we’re not qualified to do.

To do a sinodinos – to be able to do something while receiving a large amount of money for whatever it was that one was doing even though one is not quite sure why one received the money but whatever the question was one can’t recall the answer.

To do a bronwyn* – to impress all with one’s capacity to be able to recite the rules backwards, and to apply them in the same way.

To do a turnbull – to be consistently beaten on everything you supposedly believe in (from the Republic to an ETS) but still publicly support views of the people who laugh about you and humiliate you. You do this because you believe that it’s better that you’re working with the side that doesn’t resemble your actual views, because one day they’ll ask you to be their leader because they like the fact that you never win.

 

*To clarify this is a quote from when Bronwyn Bishop was made Speaker. I presume that the Ms. Bishop being quoted is Julie, because surely Bronwyn wouldn’t show this much bias… Surely.

“So we believe that Bronwyn Bishop will be an outstanding Speaker,” says Ms Bishop

“She knows the standing orders backwards as has been evident during many occasions during Question Time but she’s also a very gracious woman and I think she’ll bring a great deal of dignity to the House of Representatives.”

 

About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

24 Comments

  1. To do a Hunt – perfect sad puppy eyes while you pretend you earnestly care.

    To do a Dutton -You bet I can, I think I can…I..think…I …can…I think you can…you bet you can,

    (or not, because we all know doctors are already rich and don’t spend enough time with their patients and if we cut $5 from each visit and they pass it on to you it’s their fault, unlike when companies passed on the carbon tax which was Juliar’s fault…pssst great idea guys).

    To do a Robb – be able to sign your signature blindfolded

  2. Peter Mutton oops Dutton is a dunce, He should be named Dopey, hi ho hi ho it’s off to work we go, hi ho ho watch how we can destroy the health system in one foul go, Dutton is such a stooge and plays the role well…

  3. I gotta do it. As a long term unionist forgive me brothers and sisters.

    Go get F*cked you moronic vacuous dick-head.

  4. To do a Brandis; To legitimize bigotry by both defending and enacting it, legislatively and/or personally.
    In honor of Sir George, opponent of s18c RDA and card-carrying member of the “Hellfire Club(Gentlemen only)”.

  5. rossleigh,

    I will have you know “The Opposition’s health spokesman is regarded as a rising star of the party and a potential future leader.”

    http://www.smh.com.au/national/turnbulls-man-beaten-in-win-for-democracy-20091004-ghcp.html

    Then again, they also said that of Hunt who they refuse to invite anywhere except mine openings.

    “Almost 40 years later, Hunt has emerged as a rising star of the federal Liberal Party, a moderate who is part of Tony Abbott’s inner circle, and arguably the pre-eminent federal Liberal from Victoria. ”Greg is the first among equals,” says a senior Liberal.”

    http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/hunting-ground-20120210-1sjt7.html

  6. Careful ross,

    That sort of talk will get you excommunicated, ask Galileo.

    We live in a tonyocentric galaxy where tides rise and stars get shot down.

  7. hockey and the greens increased debt ceiling last december. The greens voted with the coalition against carbon trading. The greens are equally complicit in gillard’s demise as mrabbott and kevin o’lemon. good luck to them but why not put some brickbats their way?

  8. My apologies for the earlier outburst it is just that I have known so many decent and ethical unionists who have put themselves out for their fellow workers and citizens and this unreasonable and totally unacceptable denigration of unions is an absolute insult to many decent and good hearted citizens.

    Vilification is the lowest form of discourse when all rational and reasonable arguments fail. Only cowards fall upon such vile and immature over-generalizations. These schoolboy developmentally delayed bullies are the antithesis of a contestable democratic system of rational and logical debating.

    Question time, for me personally, is an insult to my intelligence.

  9. Question time is a chance for the boys to indulge in theatrics as Sharman Stone dismissively suggested. In fact the whole bloody place is a stage for overly theatric people….like Michaelia Cash with her vitriolic spitting performance in the Senate for which she has been hailed as…dare I say it…yet another “rising star”.

    As Paul Keating said…

    “If Tony Abbot ends up the prime minister of Australia… I mean you have got to say ‘God Help Us…GOD HELP US’…truly an intellectual nobody. No policy ambition… I mean is that all there is?”

  10. The quote about the ‘gracious dignity’ displayed by Bronwyn Bishop immediately conjures up the image of her smirking and sneering under the “ditch the witch” and “bob browns bitch” signs.
    Yep, Bronnie is all grace and dignity.

  11. “Vilification is the lowest form of discourse when all rational and reasonable arguments fail. Only cowards fall upon such vile and immature over-generalizations.”
    Then call me a coward, Stephen. Reasonable arguments don’t get a look-in and these wing nuts remain unacquainted with rationality. I’m tired of being reasonable. Now I just want revenge.

  12. Regarding Peter Duttons’ vilification of the HSU and other unions, it is interesting to note that this union was exempted from the joint federal/victorian police taskforce investigation recently enabled by Mr Abbott, despite the allegations and evidence of widespread and serious corruption in their upper echelons.
    There was the saga of credit cards, holidays, top-shelf boozing and boob jobs regarding disgraced HSU General Secretary Kathy ‘charity’ Jackson, whose current partner Michael Lawler, appointed as Vice President of Fair Work Australia by one Anthony Abbott, has repeatedly interceded on her behalf in a clear conflict of interest, as well as being the (possible) direct material beneficiary of her (alleged) rorting (including access to her silicone supplements).
    Then there is the curious affair of Kimberley Kitching, General Manager of the Victorian HSU, accused of serial misconduct including rorts and falsification of documents, and her husband Andrew Landeryou, rorter, fugitive from subpoena and bankrupt, who were recent luncheon guests of one Andrew Bolt(Kimberley also appeared on Blots’ weekly bile hour on TV for a soft puff-piece without any queries as to the allegations against her).
    It seems that there is a degree of tolerance and indulgence afforded to a certain breed of seriously corrupt unionist by the forces of ‘conservatism’, political and media.
    All superficial political differences can be put aside when a shared love of enrichment through deception and corruption is discovered (eg the bromance between Abbott and Richo).

  13. Point taken Audioio and agreed Corvus corruption seems present everywhere however sometimes it does me good to focus on decent ordinary people who are simply trying to survive as best they can. The whole thing about power corrupts and absolute power etc. demands checks and balances and we most certainly do not have it right. Self-regulation is a laugh when dealing with power and corruption and we desperately need a Federal ICAC with sweeping capacity to investigate, not only corruption, but some level of accountability for lies, especially when those lies adversely cause harm and suffering to others. Arguments form the ends justify the means are an ethical abomination. Media fact checking is no great help when the media is more often than not the problem.

    The current state of affairs internationally demonstrate that the checks and balances upon corruption are almost non-existent except in extreme cases. The general public has been conditioned to trust those it cannot trust, while, through political bias, they ignore the problem in their own ranks.

    The lack of accountability of the Banks, financial institutions and too big to fail set the ground for implicit and uncontrolled corruption reaching into every level of government, left and right.

    Corruption is a plague eating at our democracies as politicians ignore the lies and deceptions that are driving us towards economic servitude and gross inequality.

    The so called doyen of democracy, the US nation of exceptionalism, is exceptionally corrupt leading the way to irresponsible deregulation by allowing the power of money to dominate through a corrupt Supreme Court. And the LNP are trying to replicate US patriotism while destroying lower income families right to safety and security.

    A return to Marx’s axioms concerning low income workers as primary contributors to the means of production and accumulation of profits and wealth, in which labour deserve some reasonable returns and security for their contribution to society, has been destroyed by a vilifying cabal or right wing hate mongers. Workers are treated more like vermin than people with a right to union representation.

    As for the left they are failing abysmally to hold the 1% or even .001% to reasonable standards of equity and justice.

    In short democracy is broken. We have been hanging on by the skin of our teeth thanks to Labor’s handling of the GFC yet now we are falling into the pit of corruption thanks to a heartless and immoral LNP. Vilification of Russia and China is far out of proportion to the facts while the US continues upon wars that simply destroy, rather than rebuilds, undemocratic states.

    The attempt to drive a new cold war seems to be exclusively a US generated fallacy because they are loosing their drive for world domination and hegemony. The universality of the dollars is being challenged as so it should in a free market but the point is the US does not want a free market and is trying to exclude China through the signing of TPP trade agreements.

    Meanwhile the media is asleep as ownership of the media falls into fewer and fewer hands and the general public dumbed down so they will be compliant patriotic zombies.

    And so the fight goes on.

  14. Hmmm… To do a Arfur-Da Spiv” Sinodinas: Brown paper bags to be found behind the third pillar on the right as you enter Parliament.

    To do a Pyne: “Whyne-like-the-Perfect-Prat-of-a-Prefect” you are and lying in falsetto whilst mincing about the Chamber.
    To do a Shirtfront: Vest worn to catch drivel dribble.
    To do a Dutton: Nothing Much.
    To do a Johnston: see above.
    To do a Bernardi: Hold index finger against lips whilst wobbling it up and down and blowing hard. Also paddle barbed wire canoe
    up shit creek.
    To do a Turnbull: Tangle the strings between two tin cans.
    To do a policy: Glance at IPA’s 100 Thought-Bubbles and implement badly.

    There’s too much to cast with this mongrel lot……

  15. Abbott is still in ‘ shirtfront ‘ mode ( and mood ). …. all that silly giggling from Abbott ( the article was on Victorian ABC News ), while the President of the Ukraine nodded delightedly at the Abbott’s Government support of the Ukraine – providing ( selling ) uranium and COAL …… to them.

    http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/pm-meets-ukrainian-president-petro-poroshenko-and-offers-to-supply-ukraine-with-uranium-and-coal/story-fnii5smt-1227152393840?nk=bff776c62923d86fcfadf524fdf46ac2

    More ha ha ha haaaa’s…….

    …………. Abbott – “All I can say is, shirtfront must have
    ………….. translated well in Ukraine,” Mr Abbott joked.

    ………….. “It’s nice to be popular, if only in Kiev.”

    Mr Poroshenko said he appreciated the PM’s shirtfront comment directed at Russian leader Vladimir Putin. ,,,,, Oh what hilarity.

    ,,,,,,,,

    So we become chummy with the Ukraine ??????

    …… ” Mr Abbott said that Ukraine faced “a grave external threat” and he would ‘ STAND BY ‘ Mr Poroshenko in the country’s hour of need……..“I’d like to offer him as much personal support as I can,” he said.

    ………

    As at first mentioned above ……… Abbott is STILL in shirtfront mode. …. Why else all the grand-standing with the Ukraine and their politics. —- I would hope Putin is laughing in his solyanka, but I hope it doesn’t choke him !!

    .Leave the rest for you all to read – if you are interested.

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