“Good morning, I’m here to inspect your house.”

“What! I didn’t ask for any inspection.”

“There’s been a complaint from someone that when they knocked on your door, part of the roof fell down and nearly hit them, so there’s some safety concerns.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the roof’s falling down. I can’t afford to get it fixed at the moment.”

“But it could be a serious health hazard. Do you own the house, or are you renting?”

“I own it.”

“Well, can’t you borrow some money?”

“Borrow money! God no, I have to live within my means.”

“But this is vital. Perhaps, you could get some extra hours at work.”

“Oh, I don’t have a job.”

“Perhaps you could get one.”

“No, no. They’re too costly. I’d need extra clothes. Then there’s fares to and from work. Besides I’m not really qualified for anything. I didn’t go to uni because I’d have had to take on a HECS debt.”

“Good morning, Mr Jockey, we’d like to talk to you about the Liberal’s economic policy.”

“What! I didn’t ask for any inspection.”

“There’s been a complaint that your figures don’t quite add up.”

“Look, it’s Labor that’s got this country into a real mess. We’re going to fix it up by living within our means.”

“So what sorts of things are you going to do?”

“Well, for a start we’re going to get rid of the carbon tax. And the mining tax. The country can’t afford to pay for those.”

“But that’ll leave you with less revenue.”

“I just make the point again. Labor got us into this mess, we’re the one living within our means. Have you any idea how much debt we’re in?”

“But how do you propose to fix that debt?”

“By cutting the fat from the public service which has blown out by over 20,000 since Labor took office.”

“But by our calculations, even eliminating 40,000 public servants wouldn’t raise more than $5 billion. Where’s the rest of the money coming from?”

“We getting rid of the school kids bonus. And we’re not spending any more money on the carbon tax.”

“But that RAISES revenue.”

“Exactly, it’s a tax that we can’t afford at the moment.”

“But you get it, you don’t pay it.”

“We don’t get it, the Government gets it.”

“But you’ll be the Government.”

“Now, we don’t want to seem overconfident here. There’s still the formality of an election.”

“Ok, so what about some of your promises, such as the maternity leave scheme.”

“That’ll be paid for by a LEVY on big business, not a tax, a levy, because a tax would be passed on to the consumer.”

“But aren’t you going to give them a tax cut of the equivalent amount?”

“Yes, if we can afford it. Then it won’t cost anyone anything.”

“And Gonski, the Disability Scheme insurance…”

“We have to live within our means. This has been the way it’s always been Whitlam left a massive debt, and the Liberals had to clean it up.”

“Actually, the Whitlam Government left no government debt, and the Fraser Government left the biggest debt to GDP ratio in the country’s history.”

“Because of the Whitlam Government’s poor economic management.”

“So you don’t think there are investments we need to make in the future, and it might be worth using taxes on the well-off to fund them.”

“Yes, but you need to understand that we don’t have any well-off people in this country. People on $250,000 are struggling.”

“So you’d support a rise for our lowest paid workers on less than $40,000.”

“No, they’re ok. They don’t have the same expenses as the people with proper jobs.”

“So let’s get this straight. According to your party, we’re in deep debt trouble and your plan is to balance the budget by cutting taxes, and not spending money on things that have been implemented yet. I don’t see how that will lead to any improvement in the bottom line.”

“It’s simple we’ll have a STRONGER economy, because we’re in charge.”

“Mr Jockey, your roof is falling down!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”