Last election I voted for Monique Ryan but I certainly won’t be at the next federal election and I’ll explain the reason later but it would be remiss of me to ignore the obvious event that’s probably affecting the mood of so many people…

Trump won.

It’s really quite amazing on so many levels but, as I’ve been a glass half-full sort of guy most of my life, I’d like to remind everyone that this has certain positives which it’s tempting to overlook when the left were preparing to celebrate the election of the first female…

As I write that, I have to explain my assumption that it would only be the left who would celebrate the election of a female. It’s quite simple, the right are blind to things like gender… which is why they never see the woman raising her hand in the board meeting or the job application from the woman who didn’t go to the same same sex school that they did…

Same same sex school… mm, there’s a whole thesis for someone there but probably not from someone from the same same sex school that I went to…

Ok, the positives:

• Trump has shown that you don’t have to live by the narrow restrictions that the Religious Right demand because they’ll forgive you if you just pretend to like them.
• Once any accusation that you were in collusion with Russia would have been enough to destroy your political aspirations in the US. Now, that’s fine and it’s the Democratic Party who are communists in spite of their capitalist leanings. Forcing people to have health insurance so that a trip to the doctor doesn’t cost an arm and a leg is the sort of communism where they should be happy to sacrifice their arm or their leg by not going to the doctor and losing either or both…
• Trump has assured us that he’ll stop the wars and who can doubt the word of a man who’s been married so many times?
• This is a slap in the face to all those who say untrue allegations of sexual assault can destroy a man’s career… Of course, true allegations of sexual assault are a different matter and they may destroy a woman’s career which I can legally say owing to a recent defamation case in Australia…
• Trump may get sick of Elon Musk and have summarily sent to Guantanamo Bay.

Ok, there are a few negatives and these include the strong possibility that some of his policies may lead to economic problems and further inflation. Of course, this is only speculation and for all I know adding large tariffs on imported goods may actually lead to a severe drop in prices, followed by a complete collapse in trade which would reduce the emissions from goods being transported from one country to another.

Ok, ok, I get the fact that it’s a very depressing idea for some of you but I try to take the long view… if Keating hadn’t won in 1993, would we have had a decade of John Howard; if Obama had lost in 2012, would we have ever had Trump; if Germany had won WW1, would we have had Hitler; if I’d played for Collingwood in 1970 would we have been behind at half time so when I was taken off, would we have won?

So if we take the long view what is likely to happen?

I’m reluctant to make predictions on the grounds that they’ll probably be wrong, but even more worrying is the fact that some of the most ridiculous ones will turn out to be right. Anyway:

• Musk will convince Trump that his legacy can be – like JFK – winning the space race and with a mere commitment of several trillion, the USA can have a colony on Mars before the end of the decade.
• Robert Kennedy will attempt to ban all vaccinations on the grounds that they cause people to believe that fluoride in the water doesn’t lead to chemtrails. Malcolm Robert will invite him to speak in Australia, but the invitation will be refused on the grounds that Australia doesn’t exist and he’ll fall of the end of the world.
• Trump will say something that even JD Vance can’t explain but he’ll attempt to distract people by saying that he’s working on a prequel to “Hillbilly Elegy” where they show his conception and how it was done immaculately. Yes, he will tell us, there will be a role for the stars of the first movie because as they say, “Keep Glenn Close, but keep your enemies closer.” Of course, nobody will understand that but it will distract everyone from Trump’s comments about how he was responsible for winning Wordle War 3 and his refusal to admit that he actually meant World War 3 even though it hasn’t happened.

Notwithstanding all this, I promised to explain why I’m not voting for Monique Ryan this time… Well, they moved the electoral boundary. I’m no longer in Kooyong. Otherwise, I’d be voting for her because I’ve decided that we need more independents in parliament because the trouble with parties is that they end up doing the sort of things that lead to the sort of trouble that we now face where it’s not the person who actually stands for anything that ends up leading. Yes, more independents may make the governments more unstable but isn’t that what people want these days?