When Ronald Rump asserted that he’d get Mexico to pay for a wall being built between it and the USA, a lot of people scoffed. Well, I’ve heard reports that Mexico is building a wall! But it’s not to stop people heading north; it’s to stop all those gringos trying to escape the Disunited States. Not to mention all those non-gringos.
Ah, so Trump is to become president. And you were all surprised when Tony Abbott was elected PM. But at least we can say that we didn’t vote for him directly!
I have to take a deep breath and tell myself that it can’t really be as bad as everyone’s saying. After all, the man’s a successful businessman and isn’t running a country just like running a business. Although he has gone bankrupt thousands of times…
Look, I know some of you think that Trump has no idea and just because he’s never held political office before that it’ll go something like this:
“Good morning, Mr President. You need to start the process of picking your cabinet.”
“Melania always picks the furniture, so just show her the catalogues.”
“No, no, your cabinet. The people who advise you.”
“Why would I need anyone to advise me? I got where I am without listening to anybody so why would I start now?”
“But there are jobs that need people to fill them.”
“Like what?”
“Like Secretary of State, for example.”
“Didn’t Hillary have that job? How hard can it be? Give it to Ivanka.”
“It’s a very important job, Mr President, it requires great tact and diplomacy.”
“Yeah, well, Ivana is pretty hot so I’m sure that she can win over those foreigners.”
“Mr President, you can’t just appoint your daughter.”
“Well, if her being a woman is problem, then just appoint my son then.”
“I mean you can’t appoint any member of your family.”
“You’re fired! Hey, does that Monica chick still work here? Tell her to bring me some pizza!”
Yep, it can’t be like that, surely…
Mm, I can hear his victory speech in the background. He’s just thanked his parents who he’s “sure are looking down on him right now”.
I suspect that they’ve been looking down on him for years.
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