“Well, I got a call from God the other day… not so much a call as a… he spoke to me and he said we needed to schedule a meeting and I said…you know, we’re both busy men… me with all the fake witch-hunts and the election and you with all the… God things… and anyway he was insistent that we needed to talk and so I squeezed him in and we met and He thanked me and I said, ‘So what can I do for you?’
“Well, He’s very old you know, he’s even older than Sleepy Joe Biden… I know, I know, that’s hard to believe, but unlike Sleepy Joe, God’s still loves America and wants to do what’s right… So I asked him what He needed to speak to me about… We don’t waste time, we get down to business and get things done…
“So God said to me that He was getting tired and that He’d probably need someone to take over in the next few years… I could see where this was heading, so I cut him off and… And said that I’d be pleased to help Him out because that’s the sort of thing that… but… I did wonder… so I said, ‘What about the kid? I mean I always thought that he’d be… you know… that you’d be… you know, handing over the reins to him…’
“And God said, “Let me stop you right there.”
“And I said, “Nobody stops me…”
“And then we both laughed and laughed because… well, I don’t know… but it’s true… a lot of people said ‘They’ll try and stop you, Mr President’ and I tell them I know that they stopped counting the votes and… where was that… we were in front and they stopped counting the votes and just declared Biden the winner… Mm, oh we were behind when they did that… They claimed that Biden had won that state and they stopped counting because they couldn’t find any more votes, but I’ll bet they could have found some if Sleepy Joe had asked them…
“After we stopped laughing, God went on to say how Jesus was never as popular… the ratings for my show were so much larger than the Sermon on The Mount which was, apparently his biggest… what did he call it a parable, no that was something else… Jesus was never as popular as me and that he spent his time on Earth hanging around with the wrong sort of people and God needs someone who’d drain the swamp just like I did with Washington… Jesus couldn’t even organise enough food and he had to borrow some loaves and fish from one of the supporters and that would never be enough to satisfy all the people who come to my rallies which are really, really big and they’re doing something that’s really important and that’s why God wants me to take over…
“He really liked my Make America Great Again slogan and thought that I might be able to come up with something like that for Him. I said that I thought Capitalism Creates Calm Kids would look nice on a cap and He nodded and told me that I was His greatest creation and that He had no idea when He created the Heavens and the Earth that it would turn out so well and that there’d be someone like me as a result of what He’d done…
“And I said, ‘Thank you, sir!’ because I am respectful and modest. In fact… I may be the most modest person God has ever spoken to… I don’t know but I just might be…
“But I had to go because I can’t spend all day just talking to God who, by the way, nobody ever voted for… but that’s all right, because He wasn’t a Democrat and He knew that they’d find a way to crucify Him if He stood for President because he wasn’t born here just like Barrack Hussein Osama who never showed me his birth certificate but he allegedly had one if you believe the Fake News, so God never stood for election which is why He admires me so much because I didn’t have to but I decided that someone had to save the country from all the criminals and woke people trying to say… what are they trying to say? Well, who knows? Nobody understands them and nobody cares because they’re dangerous and when I’m in charge we’ll build another wall like the one I built which was really good as far as it went but it didn’t join up at the other end so those Democrats just waved in all the terrorists and drug dealers and Latinos… When I’m President I’ll build a wall and put all the woke people behind it and we can have democracy again because we’ll be left with only people who believe in it and me because we’re Ameri-CANS not Ameri-can’ts… I said this to someone the other day and he said that he was Ameri-can’t… a very merry one… he meant someone by that but… I don’t know…”
“So, I’m off to court tomorrow where that hateful judge is going to try and stop me speaking but I’m on first name terms with God so nobody can stop me and… I don’t know… hopefully there’ll be some other judge there because the one who told me that I could speak to the jury while the woman on the stand just making up lies… he showed who he was voting for… and who voted for him. Maybe a bolt of lightning will hit him or something… “
“God bless America and all of you!”
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What is this exactly? Did Trump say that or?
A-meri-can’t is *chef’s kiss.
Can’t wait for Woland and the behemoth to be on the bench, then bumping the orange man off the stage before the end of the primaries.
To close to real for me, God help America when he’s President again.
Nah.
Big probs there for dysfunctionality since Obama.
Trump stuffed the US within the country itself and Biden has borched on foreign policy and war for its own sake.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to believe that there are any TWO identities as remotely alien, so incredibly opposed and as different to each other as God and the man who’s ego is so HUGE he BELIEVES he is God, ie Trump! Trump has so MUCH more in common with the depraved, megalomaniacal Behemoth – the Mother and Father of ALL lying, conniving politicians = Satan himself! In fact, most people believe that the devil is so nervous of Trump carking it because he is justifiably concerned that Trump may take the devil’s position in the seat of hell.
Sorry Rossleigh. This is FAKE. I think you have picked up one of his press releases in error.
If the tangerine trumpeter had ever met God, She would have ripped the nugglets from the americ_nt so fast he would be having to squeak in tripple tounge.
perhaps if they were to crucify him and then if he were to rise again in three days we would know that he was the Messiah.
‘Worth a try !
Concise posting, Sandra.. It IS true.
Only the good die young.
Never mind, we can guess the Donald, Netanyahu, Dutton and several others will all be dropping down for a visit to the Great Subterranean .Permanent barbecue run by the virtuous in comparison Ashtaroth.
The vindictiveness, viciousness and sheer childish nastiness of this thing of orange never ceases to amaze me.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/jan/23/trump-victory-speech-haley-playground-bully
https://www.forbes.com/sites/saradorn/2024/01/23/trump-bashes-imposter-haley-claims-gov-sununu-is-on-something-in-fiery-new-hampshire-victory-speech/
Anyone else see (almost inevitably I expect) The Donald unleashing on Carroll again and being hit with a third defamation case? His ego and narcissism won’t allow him to accept the ruling of the jury and court.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/jan/26/e-jean-carroll-damages-trump-defamation-trial
The Donald is “interviewing” for new lawyers in his appeal against E Jean Carroll.
“Is Donald the President?”
“Yes he is, and he’s also the new messiah.”
“You’re hired.”
“Do you like Donald?”
“If he pays me enough.”
“Hm, do you think Donald should be President again?”
“No way.”
“Get out! Get the fuck out of my sight!”
“Is Donald more popular than…stop licking my shoes…you’re hired”
“Is Donald the worlds best and most stable…”
“Don’t bother with the rest of the question. I’m out of here.”
“Lindsey, stop kissing your way up my leg, I’m not hiring you.”
This is bound to set Gaetz, Taylor Greene, the rest of the RRRWNJ’s and The Donald will be tearing up the carpets with their teeth in rage. I don’t envy the three Republican’s who voted with the Democrats in defeating this spiteful and completely childish piece of faeces from the rest of their party.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/02/06/house-mayorkas-impeachment/
Donald, to put it mildly, is not happy:
https://www.smh.com.au/world/north-america/donald-trump-ordered-to-pay-535-million-in-ny-fraud-trial-20240217-p5f5oq.html
He’ll be so angry that his overheated brain may well burn the hair off his orange head. Being The Trump he will not waste any time fundraising and grifting for his “election campaign” piles of cash from the MAGA cultists.
The Trump is being indicted for the Black population and they like him even more because of his indictments and mug shots:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/02/24/trump-black-voters-indicted-mug-shot/
Like father, like son. Little Donny isn’t about to hand over the money because it’s, “My money…mine, mine, mine…”
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/29/donald-trump-jr-australia-tour-2023-ticket-refunds-waiting-brisbane-melbourne