The Liberals Always Have A Plan And An Announcement To Remind You That One Exists…

Cults need their followers to be in constant contact because without that, followers may start to notice that there are more sensible ways of looking at things. So whenever I hear the Liberals say that they have a plan, I can’t help but think that – when other people say it – we usually expect the person saying it to follow up by describing the actual plan.

For years we heard that the Liberals had a plan for jobs and growth. Yes, they were in favour of both and, it seems, their plan was to wait until both things happened then claim the credit. This is similar to their plan for the recovery from the “Covid recession” which was nothing to do with them, but the sudden jump in growth in the most recent quarter was thanks to their economic management. Now when I pointed out a few weeks ago that the recession would be over quickly because growth had contracted so much that Australia was bound to get a bounce when restrictions were lifted, people wee sceptical. (Of course, when I say that the recession is over, I’m talking about the «technical recession ». What’s the difference between a «technical recession » and an actual one? Well, it depends on who whether we have a Liberal or Labor Treasurer. During the GFC, we didn’t have a recession in Australia – technical or otherwise – but that too was a technicality that was worth overlooking when talking about our economic performance.)

Usually when the Liberals make an announcement, I presume that’s to make us feel better about the fact that – while no actual evidence of one exists – they do actually have a plan to make some sort of improvement, so that when something good happens they can say that was our plan all along. Its supporters can feel reassured and anyone with any memory can be relieved that they’re probably just going to ignore everything and not stuff it up by doing any more than post the odd photo of our Prime Minister pretending to caught at a candid moment by his official photographer who sees no need to stage the shot and just happens to get the professional finish to the lighting and composition by accident.

Lately however, I’m worried that their modus operandi of not thinking about anything but how to give away money to their donors while not being so flagrant that they lose the next election, has left them unable to think about what happens beyond the immediate present.

Take Paul Fletcher’s letter to the ABC where he complained about the coverage of Porter and Tudge’s private lives. Now I could make the point that what one does in a public bar with plenty of other people – and journalists – around, is not exactly one’s private life. As Great Aunt Greta used to say, «I don’t mind what people do just so long as they don’t do it in the Main Street and frighten the horses. »

However, the point I wish to make is not the rights and wrongs of Fletcher trying to prove that he’s not completely irrelevant; the point is that the story has been largely forgotten and while he may think that this is sending a warning shot across the bows of the ABC, by questioning the accuracy of their report of Porter demonstrating his dental proficiency with his tongue, in actual fact he’s given all the media a free pass to establish whether or not the story was true. If you report that I was in a bar behaving inappropriately with an attractive woman, few people would care… some wouldn’t believe you and some would think that it’s nothing to do with them. But If I demand a retraction, suddenly the veracity of your story becomes a talking point… I seriously doubt that this was Fletcher’s intention.

Let’s move on from Porter to Morrison. No, I’m not going to talk about the rumours that he’s left Jen and the girls and started a relationship with his personal photographer. I’m more interested in his stance on China.

Before we go any further, I’d like to state for the record that China does have a poor record on human rights, but if we’re going to let detentions without charges, secret trials, government secrecy and unaccountable officials stop us trading with them, we won’t be trading with anyone… particularly if other countries apply the same standards to us. We’ve allowed China to become a very important trading partner in spite of all these things, so if we’re going to start a public bellowing competition, we should be prepared for them to remind us that they really don’t need most of the things we sell them.

So, when Scott Morrison demanded the investigation into the origins of Covid-19 did he really think that Australia was important enough to influence world opinion? I mean, when it comes to climate change, we’re too insignificant to have any impact, so why stick your head up over this one?

And did he think that China wouldn’t take the proposed legislation which would allow the federal government to cancel contracts without giving a reason, personally? Particularly after all the accusations that Chairman Dan would be beholden to the CCP.

So when you start a fight with the biggest guy in the room, the first question you should is ask is what will you do when he starts hitting back. Yes, you can complain that he’s being a bully and that you want an apology because it’s just not right when he starts saying things about you. But what’s your plan when he doubles down and starts saying things about your mother? Do you shout louder and hope that what hasn’t worked in the previous five minutes suddenly works? Do you suggest that he has no right to speak about your family when his is far worse?

Exactly what is Morrison’s plan? To keep China’s embargo going so that when we slip back into recession it’ll be the fault of China this time, so that any economic downturn can’t be blamed on the Liberals?

Or is he just incapable of thinking about anything but how it plays in the electorate and whether he’ll be able to get a good photo opportunity out it?

Whatever, he’s upsetting a lot of the traditional Liberal base because they can’t sell to China at the moment. More importantly, there are shiploads of coal not getting through. If our PM’s actions are hampering the sale of coal, how many days past Christmas can he last?

Yep, I suspect the Hawaiian holiday may be cut short again…

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

11 Comments

  1. Rossleigh, you are showing your age in this current world of post-truth fabrication of history It is a little unrealistic to expect the media to report actual events in politics when the major media outlets are controlled by Liarbal Party supporters who could not lie straight in bed. Next you will be asserting that commercial television is an accurate representation of 21st century Australian culture rather than a mish-mash of American cultural imperialism, cheap local mind numbing exercise promotions and feral extreme right wing dingbats paid too much by foreign interests to undermine Australian values.

    In this Scummo world there are only press releases and promises, never funding or constructive action. That would cost too much and reduce the available funds for flying retired mates around the world at taxpayer expense because he was a good bloke who spent years saying nothing of value.

    As we say in regional Australia; VOTE NAZIONAL$ LOSE EVERYTHING VOTE ANYONE BUT NAT$

    The same principle applies to metropolitan Australia with the Liarbrals. BRING ON THE NEXT 2 FEDERAL BYE-ELECTIONS!!

  2. Spot on rossleigh,
    To this simpleton all the lnp tax gifts to business, the rich, billy’s frankers, howard’s battlers and to themselves are no protection from recession.
    My lnp lovers have access to millions but they have health cards and their gov cash goes straight into the bank or family trusts. But give some cash to the real battlers it is spent and recession disappears.
    ps had some suspicious spots cut out and in talking whilst a lovely man was cutting he told me of his millions but he has a health card. Presumably packer has one and all business owners???
    Wonder if albo has a trust fund and a health card to keep him quiet??

  3. ‘So, when Scott Morrison demanded the investigation into the origins of Covid-19 did he really think that Australia was important enough to influence world opinion? I mean, when it comes to climate change, we’re too insignificant to have any impact, so why stick your head up over this one?’ – Yup that’s it exactly, convenience of issue and being seen to have a say on the world stage, when his ego and critical thinking is in conflict, actually practically non-existent, other than having a provocative opinion and shouting out loudly gets his Liberal conservative minority minions all up in arms behind him, mouthing off about China because clearly he has no plan – that is the plan, to blubber on and on with his senseless announcements and personal outrage to furnish us all with the smoke screen he has a plan and we are falsely well led.

    And again this morning – Morrison’s speech and announcement to the nation at 11am – Listen to it – Replete with opinion, cliche, regurgitation – absolutely nothing of substance, fact, utility or of informative value. Nothing we didn’t already know – Just another opportunity to stand from his pulpit and preach to us with the illusion of a plan, the illusion of an announcement of something new happening and there wasn’t. What was the point of today’s announcement with whacky Greg Hunt other than to capitalise on the UK announcement of the emergency approval of the Pfizer vaccine which has nothing to do with Australia; or is it that he fears Australia will serendipitously think he and his government are doing nothing, leaving us all behind, when clearly once again he demonstrates the empty bag of wind Morrison and his government continue to blow off.

    So now we can all be well informed about absolutely nothing and be assured Morrison has a plan for absolutely nothing. We can feel entirely secure that Morrison has a plan only to mouth off or shake hands with the press at every photo opportunity, from bush fires to Covid-19, economy to the jobless, refugees to borders, climate change to robodebt, coal to corruption, all the way from Trump to China, with an opinion on everything that he has nothing to do with but would like to take credit for or be seen to be standing for something regardless of the consequences, the damage his mouth can inflict on Australia in conjunction with the complete absence of critical thinking, evidence or a plan – the hallmark of modern day Liberal and Republican governments; especially those led by the likes of Morisson and Trump.

    That is the plan – to hoodwink everyone, make everyone feel grateful for his masterful bastardry, manipulate his re-election without any governance or leadership, to swallow his slogans, cliches and hyperboles without plans, and believe in these fantastic beasts, as he runs us all underneath the giant mortal engines of our fabricated enemies, just like Trump.

    Meanwhile, Twitter calls his bluff and WeChat takes him down – Now there is a message there for all the unbelievers – from both sides of the fence.

  4. @ jon chesterton: “That is the plan – to hoodwink everyone, make everyone feel grateful for his masterful bastardry, manipulate his re-election without any governance or leadership, to swallow his slogans, cliches and hyperboles without plans, and believe in these fantastic beasts, as he runs us all underneath the giant mortal engines of our fabricated enemies, just like Trump.”

    So far, so good, then.
    It’s working.
    The ‘sheeple’ following the shepherd to the sheering shed and the slaughterhouse.

    The ‘plan’ is to keep the actual plans from the eyes of the general public.
    The ‘mushroom’ syndrome.

    The “Bullshit Baffles Brains” concept or, to Americanise the concept as we are so eager to do with almost everything: “Bunkum”.

  5. Perhaps Scummo is an Expert in Misleading and Duplicitous Press Releases and Political Promises. The successor to Little Johnnie Howard’s ”Headland Statement ” or ”Bluff Statement”…..

    But in academia, an ”expert” is just a drip under pressure, who knows more & more about less & less until they know absolutely everything about nothing. Sounds about right …. now who is for a big wad of government largesse?

  6. For all intents and purposes the Liberals nationally should be in the wilderness fighting each other like the ’80s in a competitive media environment and when IPA wishlists were just a dream for libertarians.

    Fast forward Australia and the Libs have moved to the right, mainstream right wing legacy media dominated by NewsCorp gives PR support (while attacking and/or disappearing LNP enemies), IPA has become preeminent in policy, ageing demographics especially in regions almost guranatees their vote and conditioning by decades of US/Anglo white nativist and/or libertarian agit prop in media.

    However, an issue already is that the media and policy assistance given to the LNP allows sub-optimal quality in MPs, lack of ethics and complacency leading to hubris, which is perilous.

    Meanwhile from Melbourne, calls for a new ‘liberal’ centre party, as the Liberals have moved to the nativist right (recruiting and branch stacking with evangelical Christians), catering to regional Australia, miners, fossil fuels, IPA, NewsCorp, ageing white men and women; while Australia undergoes demographic change in the electoral rolls that will need to be embraced.

  7. Great article, as usual, Rossleigh! I think the only “plan” I would hope to see SloMO enact would be a plan to get out of politics all together! He is such a lying , failed in marketing, happy clapper, flat earth believer, climate change denier, big business supporter, Union basher that he MUST go , along with the rest of his scumbag liberals & nationals too.

  8. For me the most damning, illuminating sentence in the text, one that reset brain cell connections contaminated by propaganda, is where Rossleigh lists human rights abuses in a context where the reader assumes he is excoriating China, but then one realises that he is alluding to comparable human rights abuses in Australia, forgetting only to add whistle blowing rights to the list. From my near total isolation I ask: have other readers experienced the same Eureka moment?

    I appreciate the thoughtful comments , too. That said, while insults are cathartic for the poster, I would prefer that contributors stuck to argument, rather than simply mirroring the venom of the rednecks.

  9. Under their masterful and expert dereliction of duty and their corrupt guiding influences the L/NP, with their usual ability to disregard any practical use of due diligence or forward planning, has Australia destined to become a major economic backwater and an internationally recognised pariah state.
    Scotty from marketing,the periferous penticostalot Pinocchio, with his conga line of corrupt theives and con artists masquerading as a government are doing what they do best, deceiving and destroying gullible Australians lives and living standards while they funnel taxpayers monies into the pockets of L/NP donors who mostly do not pay taxes. Corruption 101.
    Australians keep voting for the party that does not represent or respect them. A party that is an insult to Democracy and an embarrassment to good governance. A party that is built on nepotism and corruption. A party that is big on rhetoric but small on achievement. A party that has overseen the collapse of Australian living standards. A party that has been the architects of the most failed policies in Australian history. A party that has decimated the economy and the emvironment. There has been enough evidence in the public arena for many many years that the L/NP are a criminally corrupt cabal of foot soldiers for big business. The fact that the L/NP shake hands with devils and turn their backs on angels is indisputable. Greed and corruption is their religion. Lies and distortion is their game. The L/NP are a parasitic pox on good honest hard working Australians. “1984” was written as a warning … not as an instruction manual for the L/NP.

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