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Talkin’ shit on the tee-vee

By Ross Sharp

“The ABC is out of control and must be reformed!”, howls Andrew Bolt, the Herald-Sun’s resident expert on taste and restraint, and O! how he doth howl, often and most loudly. His frequent allies in this noble quest – from the mighty Gerard Henderson, to stout and doughty Piers Akerman, from the audacious Janet Albrechtsen to the staunch daring of Miranda Devine and beyond, gallants all – steadfast and true in their brave crusade. This fearlessly outspoken consortium of Brothers and Sisters in Adjectival Febrility remain unwavering in their pursuits and arrayed, united and opposed, to the multiple perfidies of progressive advocacy that have lodged deep within the bowels of the nation’s public broadcaster and must, now and forevermore, be purged.

Begin position …

The ABC has consistently and wilfully betrayed its charter and its key, core constituents, those men and women of Australia on whose behalf it is expected to serve, to educate and inform – the Common Man and Common Woman of this land, the working man and woman, the mother, the wife, the modest and the humble.

The ABC’s news and current affairs content, on all platforms, has revealed itself repeatedly, and over time, to be fatally biased toward a disruptively radical “left-wing” liberal-social agenda by embracing and promoting without question positions of extreme anti-capitalism, anti-industry, and anti-family agitprop, to name but a few, as the preferred, prevailing paradigms of our time.

The nation’s public broadcaster has arrogantly forsworn its clear responsibilities to this charter by engaging in, and encouraging, base rumours, confected smears, slurs and vile slanders against the government of the day and the current Australian Prime Minister in particular, and elevating such things to the status of “news”, which they are clearly not.

The established orthodoxies which have served as the foundation and bedrock stones of our nation, and the nation’s citizens since Federation, are sneeringly dismissed as merely the antediluvian obsessions of naïve bumpkins and yokels, their traditional values, mores and morality reduced to the stuff of parody and satire, and sheer common decency regarded as a joke out of fashion and out of time, a fetish for simple-minded fools.

End position.

Nothing is ever what it simply is, or of its times, according to these, and countless other diligent Media Hounds for Truth, Justice and Wanting Everything Their Own F*cking Way All The Time, but rather, each item of “news” and the manner in which it is presented must be assigned, by them, a context serving some underlying political, religious or social ideology, whether that context be deduced from a facial expression, a random turn of phrase, or the sandwich and coffee someone’s just had for lunch.

To their critics, the ABC charter is an unholy mash of Marxist screed and Gaian enviro-ganda, its intent and ambition to thwart our minds with the language of misunderstanding, to alter our perceptions with catastrophic visions of our futures, to blind us with science, to expose our most senior government members to ridicule and scorn, seed our minds with doubt and mistruths, and to arouse and pervert our desires just to prove we’re depraved.

It is not just an organisation, mostly a broadcaster of news with news in it, and occasional entertainments of widely disparate quality and interest, but a “movement” now, an ideological concentrate of pure “leftist” evil and irresponsibility, a grotesque malformation of orthodox mores and virtues, an amorphous accretion of base tumescence, smearing its fusty scent across all things decent, and of righteous virtue, upstanding temperance and unostentatious reserve.

The ABC’s latest vile crime against propriety and couth occurred on June 22nd’s episode of “Q&A”, a program of negligible quality and import which usually comprises a bunch of heads talking at and over each other about the issues of the moment, mostly in what appears nothing more than frenetic pursuit of achieving “quip of the night”, or making a headline the next day for being the biggest dickhead on the show.

On this momentous occasion, a brief and tepid exchange of words between a dickhead in the audience and a government minister on the panel resulted in said dickhead having a “Who? Ya muvver?!” moment, tetchily saying the type of thing one would expect a dickhead to say, which was promptly ruled out of order by the show’s host, who then quickly wrapped up and called it a night.

“O, what a fall was there, my countrymen!
Then I, and you, and all of us fell down,
Whilst bloody treason flourished over us.”

“What side are you on?!” bellowed our Prime Minister in discombobulated outrage by way of response to this event, all a-flutter in his mind with choleric vapours, and, soon enough, his rallying cry was dutifully picked up and echoed through the august journals of the people and of the land, demanding action be taken, apologies issued, investigations launched and retribution sought to ensure that our ABC shall never again be taken hostage by such barbaric forces of pure evil, and that our nation’s citizens shall never again be subjected to such expressions of deviant tyranny on the national broadcaster at the expense of Team Australia.

Or dickheads saying stupid shit on the tee-vee.

“Pollies get away with spouting rubbish because we let them. If we as a society have the collective attention span of a gnat, and obsess more about who’s stabbing whom in the back on the reality programme du jour than the future of our country, we can’t complain if politicians talk down to us or treat us as mugs, and if the media reports name-calling as serious political news.” – Terry Barnes, The Guardian.

Never let it be said that the White Trash on Heat who currently comprise our body politic and their media cohorts won’t abandon all sense of perspective on a thing in a heartbeat in favour of inchoate squeals of beleaguered rage and protestation over trivialities to deflect any substantive discussion or debate about issues of actual import, those things that affect real people out here in the real world.

No, let us not be thinking, let alone speaking, of the wholesale trashing of industries, the destruction of jobs, the demonisation of the young, the criminalisation of unemployment, and of poverty that our government are so enthusiastically engaged in; let us not be thinking of the shattered cheekbones of battered women denied refuge because funding no longer allows it; let us not think of our abandonment of human rights, the tortures and travails we inflict on the confused minds and soft bodies of women and children fleeing foreign conflicts; let us not think of the desecration of our lands and environments when we can be thinking of the money to be made from them; let us think not on these, or any other such things when we can find lazy solace in the easily confected outrage of the righteous where reality exists solely as a means of fulfilling an ideological end, and if it does not, reality will be duly denied.

You can’t handle the truth.

So let’s make some shit up.

Beat those drums of terror, dance to the discordant rhythms of fear and of loathing, come comrades, sing songs of battle, of defeat and of glorious victory over our most loath’d enemies, for they are closer than we think, much closer, and they do walk among us, in stealth and in silence …


Attention-seeking trolls talking shit on the tee-vee.

“Nurse, pass me the rubber underpants. I’m spending the night under the bed.”

For f*ck’s sake.

This article was first published on Ross’ blog Smelly Tongues.



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  1. donwreford

    The ABC on Q and A, the convicted supposed terrorist appearing as a guest was a courageous act by the ABC to get feed back as to how people think, far to much if Australian TV is modified to the sensitive palate of what is decided Australians should and should not know.

  2. Phi

    Right on – thanks for a good read. This is Abbott’s Theatre of the Absurd.

    He will burn out long before I do but in the meantime I do find his character amusing despite it’s infantile amateurism.

  3. DanDark

    Thanks Ross, and loon pond has summed up the over reaction by the rightwing journalists/twits to a tee 🙂

    I used to watch Q&A until it just got to nauseating to watch in the end,
    the LNP politicians use it to grandstand and push their double speak
    and it is usually just old white men talking shit on the Tee vee with blue ties on or red ties on.

  4. corvus boreus

    Steve Ciobo (current Lib MP) publicly stated that Labor should be ‘slitting Julia Gillard’s throat’.
    Graham Morris(former senior Lib staffer turned lobbyist) said they should be ‘kicking her to death’.
    Allan Jones (Lib lickspittle and radio whore) said she should be ‘dumped at sea in a chaff bag’.

    Anthony Abbott has no problem associating with some people who make statements condoning/inciting murderous violence against Australia and it’s elected representatives.

  5. Florence nee Fedup

    Shorten has told caucus he doesn’t expect parliament to resume before an election. Agree. DRUM

  6. Kaye Lee

    I thought the guy from the Australia Institute was interesting on election timing. After Shorten appears at the RC and before they clear him.

  7. Glenn

    spot on Kaye. I suspect Shorten will do brilliantly at the RC and this will backfire in a HUGE way on the LNP. First glimpse of passion from Shorten over the weekend on his interview about this. He bloody well better….Abbott and co have so seriously crossed over the threshold of doing significant damage to our social fabric. It will take a lot to repair and more than one government’s term to fix.
    I am so horrified…. every friggen day Abbott gets more extreme and displays more unstable behavior. He’s a nutcase. Seriously. I can’t believe it sometimes. If he worked in the corporate world like I do, he would have been fired so long ago. Someone would have complained to HR and he would have had his arse fired quick-smart, for any one of a dozen different things he’s said.
    He is a nutcase.
    As a sidebar……just exactly when is the judge going to give his ruling on the Hockey defamation case????? How friggin long does it take to consider the evidence??????

  8. mark delmege

    Funny how they howled at the ABC for being lefty. That bloke in the audience worked for the Free Syrian Army (and back here as a recruiter – I’m told). And as he said and as everyone has forgotten at that time the FSA was being supported by the USofA, Turkey Saudi Arabia Qatar France and Britain Israel and probably also Kuwait and a few others. Not to mention the ABC and the BBC and the rest of the MSM quisling bastards. Like David Hicks he worked for terrorist armies (Hicks in Bosnia and Kosovo) and was doing the dirty business for empire. Nothing lefty about it.
    Not surprisingly many of the FSA went on to work for IS who are still doing Uncle Sams dirty business – helping to divide and destroy Syria and Iraq – while making the Kurds look good – who no doubt will be the big winners in the Policy of Terrorism and Chaos. And as tensions rise in Turkey and Iran with their Kurdish populations the US will service this particular useful creation of tensions for years to come.
    Of course too we have have no idea of why that bloke threatened the security services. Perhaps they had threatened his life liberty or family – who knows – it could have just been an off the cuff comment of someone angry having done the business of empire in the crumple zone being banged up for two years for no legitimate reason. Lets not forget either the role of the former Labor Foreign Minister who talked up the usefulness of assassinating the Syrian President. Lets not forget either that this is not a civil war – and that the planning for this aggression started long before that covert op more commonly known as the so called Arab Spring.

  9. kathysutherland2013

    Just some clarification please (andI ask purely for information) – I didn’t see the show, but I thought the bloke had done his time or got off or something. Surely that makes it OK to be an ordinary person again?

  10. mars08

    Zaky was charged and acquitted of terrorism offences but took a guilty plea to “threatening violence against a Commonwealth official.” That charge is NOT a terrorism related offence.

  11. Ned

    Whats the flag count now Tony? first it was 3 then 6 now 12! The bigger the me ego the more phoneyToney flags behind me. When your crowned dictator and chief with your silly military uniform and Aviator sunglasses it will be 20 flags behind you.

  12. Matters Not

    After Shorten appears at the RC and before they clear him.

    I also think that’s the plan. Clearly Abbott is in election mode.

    The election Budget (based on ‘courageous’ assumptions) is in place and now we have Abbott’s ‘agenda’ on which he wants to fight. Fear, terror and loathing and all that.

    BTW, no Australian’s been killed via terrorism so far this year but on the other hand 45 have died of domestic violence. (Perhaps they deserved it?)

    Maybe the MSM will go down this track?

  13. stephentardrew

    Well who would have thought our driveling nincompoop leader would once again take things out of context and lie.

    My fear is palpable as the ABC falls into communist Stalinist insanity.

    Ho hum just another day of floundering drivel from he who must be vaporised.

    Where are the Darleks when you need them?

  14. Terry2

    I am finding it hard to gauge how my fellow Australians are thinking : when Abbott says outrageous things like ABC, “whose side are you on”, he is reaching out to a demographic that probably never watch the ABC and certainly wouldn’t watch Q&A. He is following closely the brief that the IPA and Murdoch gave him and certainly *the daily telegraph* and *the Australian* are cheering him on and the polls seem to be going his way.

    In the lead up to the Queensland election I was similarly perplexed as the *Courier Mail* went out of their way to mock and denigrate Labor and sing the praises of the Newman regime : I couldn’t believe that any thinking Queenslander could possibly return the LNP but I thought I was probably out of step with my fellow Queenslanders. As it was, I wasn’t and the great people of Queensland turned the tables on Newman despite the LNP having a massive election war chest and the polls in their favour.

    If Abbott goes early it would probably be a Double Dissolution with an appeal to the electorate that his mandate has been blocked by a feral Senate. To complete his wreckage of a democratic Australia he would need majorities in both Houses and what really worries me is that many of my fellow Australians are listening to Abbott, Bolt, Murdoch et al.

    I sincerely hope that I am wrong and that the silent majority are just waiting for the opportunity to consign this mob to history as was the case in Queensland and Victoria.

  15. corvus boreus

    I do not watch or listen to the ABC but its lefty bias is obvious.
    I know this because commercial competitors (working for Rupert) have said so.
    It must be true because they stated it loudly and repeatedly.

  16. Pingback: Talkin’ shit on the tee-vee – » The Australian Independent Media Network | olddogthoughts

  17. Sir ScotchMistery

    Sadly that’s funny Rossco. The more’s the pity. Australians are as a group, f-wits.

    In terms of a brave step getting Zaky on the show, at least a portion of the bravery was his in saying “yes”, when they called..

  18. Free-Thinker

    In the Q. & A drama this week, I haven’t heard anything from Free Speech Commissioner Tim Wilson, specially plucked by George Brandis for this role from the IPA.

    Perhaps he is under special instructions from his patron George, to say nothing.

    Jonathan Holmes’ article this morning in the Fairfax Press is well worth reading.

  19. Kaye Lee

    Tim is busy. Our “defacto Commissioner for sexual orientation, gender identity and intersex status issues” said “the biggest international frontier for human rights is ensuring the legal, social and cultural tolerance of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people.”

  20. diannaart

    I have been rendered (temporarily) speechless by the continual, dismal antics of our government.

    We really can’t say it won’t get any worse.

  21. Florence nee Fedup

    Good debate occurring in senate on off shore processing from all but gvt. If Abbott expected Labor to behave as he did over Malaysian Solution, to say no, in hope of wedging them, he has made big mistake. Same goes for citizenship revocation.

    Labor said yes to policy, but is violently condemning how that policy is being carried out. Same goes for concerns being raised by citizenship legalisation. Much trouble in fine print. Abbott appears to smart by half. Maybe has wedged himself.

    Please don’t condemn Shorten on MSM reports. Yes said yes, but condemnation of government great.

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