So, according to the chairperson of the ABC, Ita Buttrose political correctness is killing the Australian larrikin. I guess she’s probably missing old Kerry Packer who was a true larrikin and used to say hilarious things to people as, “Can you fuckers change the media ownership rules so that I can buy Fairfax and sack all those journalists who called me Goanna?” Hilarious. It was almost as funny as Ita when she announced that she was “embracing radical celibacy” in the 80s. Mind you, you had to hear her say it to fully appreciate the humour. Political correctness prevents me from pointing out that it was her lisp that made it so funny, because we can’t make fun of people any more. No longer can we mock the way someone speaks or hide people’s wheelchairs just for fun… Although you can if you’re part of the NDIS and it’s to help with a Budget surplus.

But back to Ita’s recent pronouncement, I think that this is great to hear. For too long, those sticks-in-the-mud at the ABC have censored people. Why? I’m sure you all remember how they apologised after The Chaser photoshopped Chris Kenny to look like he was having sex with a dog. Ok, it was after Kenny had taken legal action but, as he explained, he was doing it to protect free speech. Free speech means that one should be allowed to say what one likes as long as it doesn’t offend certain Australian values like ANZAC day, Australia Day or old, white men in the media.

And young Timmy Wilson did his bit for free speech by going and joining the Hong Kong protest. Some were unkind enough to suggest that this was a wee bit hypocritical, considering he tweeted that the police should use water-cannons on the Occupy Melbourne protest. However, as Timmy explained on Sky his was just a joke and besides Occupy Melbourne were permanently stationed there but the Hong Kong protestors move around. Just further evidence of Australians inability to take a joke… Of course, being a bit of a larrikin, I think the punchline would have been the Hong Kong police using water-cannons on Wilson, but I guess I shouldn’t say that. Ah, political correctness again…

Anyway, I couldn’t help but feel that there was a little bit of inconsistency being shown here. I don’t just mean because Dutton is suggesting that we should be arresting our own protestors, while Wilson is disrupting traffic in another country. I’m talking about our position on China.

Just a few weeks ago, Scott Morrison was telling us that Labor were being racist because they were suggesting that Gladys Liu was a member of a group that pushed Chinese Communist party interests overseas just because she was listed as a member, but when Peter Dutton comes out and says that there are people pushing CCP interests overseas, it’s suddenly no big deal and it’s simply “that there are differences between Australia and the People’s Republic of China, of course, there are”. Morrison went on to warn “against any sort of over-analysis or overreaction to those comments, because I think they just simply reflect the fact we’re two different countries.”

Of course, Scott Morrison can’t really be blamed when he’s just the titular head of the party and it’s Dutton making all the decisions. Morrison is there in much the same capacity as a head of state. He goes to official functions, cuts ribbons, makes speeches, visits Maccas, welcomes people, hands out awards and lets people take selfies with him. All the actual decisions are made by the man with the power to have him arrested under our anti-terrorism laws.

So while he can’t run the country Scott can do such valuable things as run the water for PM’s XIII Rugby team in Fiji, and tell them that they can spread the message about violence against women far better than politicians can. This makes me wonder, given that private industry can supposedly do things much better than politicians, exactly what politicians can actually manage?

Apart from running water to their heroes, of course…

(Before the lawyers get involved, that last statement in no way refers to either Angus or Barnaby!)