The AIM Network

Strippers, Grandmothers, Wedding Cakes And Political Correctness!

Yes, we all know that it’s political correctness gone mad. When Greg “The Greatest Minister In The World” Hunt gets criticised for simply telling a 71-year-old grandmother that she needed to “f * * * ing get over it, you need to f * * * ing make Senator Scullion your best friend”. I mean, what’s the world coming to if you can’t tell people to do something that involves a lot of asterisks… Back BPC (Before Political Correctness), we used to take all sorts of risks and we certainly wouldn’t have restricted ourselves to asterisks. We used to let our children play on the road and if a car happened to hit them, instead of getting all hung up about how many beers the driver may have had, we’d send the kid to bed without supper and not rush him off to hospital for x-rays just because his arm was now at a funny angle.

Of course, I could understand the outrage if it was about the idea that anyone should be forced to make Nigel Scullion you’re “best friend”, but that’s an entirely separate issue that doesn’t seem to attract the same level of attention.

Yep, it seems that all the wrong things attract attention these days. Take Barnaby Joyce… Yeah, enough said.

For example, another matter which attracted attention in Victoria this week was the decision by someone to hire a stripper at the Bayswater Football Club. Honestly, back in my day, strippers were compulsory. In fact, we used to have them in the clubrooms before the game to get the boys into the right frame of mind for football. Once all the primitive juices were flowing, we’d be more than ready to go out and perform on the field.

However, some people found the idea of a stripper at the club politically incorrect, just because the function was for the Under 19s. Well, that and the fact that the Under 16s had also been invited along. But I say, balderdash. Isn’t it better that these boys were out, doing something with their mates instead of slowing up the NBN by watching porn at home?

And, of course, all the talkback callers were just presuming that the stripper was a woman! I mean, who knows, in these politically correct times, it may well have been a male… Which would be terribly confusing, because I wouldn’t know whether to rant about the attempt to impose a gay agenda on young boys or whether to continue my rant about political correctness preventing people from hiring whomever they chose to.

Anyway, at least the US Supreme Court has sensibly ruled that people can’t be forced to bake cakes if it’s against their religious beliefs. Well, not so much the baking of cakes, but the baking of cakes for people who were going to do things that they disapproved of, such as eating the cake at a ceremony to solemnise the commitment of the people ordering the cake. Sorry, just to be clear here. It’s not so much the eating of the cake at the ceremony as the idea that a baker should be allowed to express their disgust that people don’t live according to his or her moral code by refusing service. At least, I think that’s what it means. Anyway, this ruling should help do away with all this political correctness where people are trying to impose their beliefs on others by enabling religious people to try and impose their beliefs on all their clients.

Which makes me think that there’s a fantastic business opportunity screening potential clients for bakeries. Actually, not just bakeries, but florists and all sorts of other businesses as well. People hoping to use their services could be asked to fill out a survey something like this to see if they have the necessary morals to be acceptable:

  1. Have you engaged in premarital sex?  
  2. Do you believe that the universe was created at 6pm on October 22nd, 4004 BC, or do you think that Archbishop Ussher failed to take leap years into account? 
  3. Are you willing to agree to perform sexual acts only in the bedroom after dark?
  4. Do you intend to have sex after the wedding for any reason apart from the procreation of children? 
  5. If your activity does not result in one child in the first two years will you a) accept it as God’s will and stop, or b) try more often?
  6. Is there an approved Bible in your house? (Approved Bibles to be listed according to the baker, florist, etc preference)
  7. Will all your sex be in the missionary position as God intended? 
  8. Will you allow a person of my choice to come to your wedding venue/house to perform whatever exorcism is deemed necessary?

Then it’d be much easier for people to discriminate against all people whose lifestyle offends them. That should prevent any accusation that they’re homophobic!

 

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