Some Tinkle Peep I Should Be Ledder of Da Nashunal Party…

Image from abc.net.au (Photo by ABC News: Nick Haggarty)

Interview Transcript from one side only:

There are moments when you think that you know what’s going on… Like some of the conspiracy theories make sense…

Notice I only said some, before you think that this is a recruiting ad for Qananan… Mmm, never realised how close “Qanon” and “Quoran” were in terms of spelling until I misspelled one of them… Can’t remember which one because I don’t remember much these days… don’t tell the guy who’s mates with the guy who is connected to one of them, I think it’s QandA Nonny no… but anyway, surely we can make something of that and this job of being leader was always mine…

Always mine… mmm, great slogan for the Nationals…

Now let me make it clear that t never signed anything so…

Thanks, I will have another…

Anyway… Patricia let me just say that I’m the…

Yes, thank you, that’s what I am, I wake up every morning and I say that I am that…

But let me make it clear that I was never in Glasgow so there’s no way that I’ll agree to making gas go…

Ha ha,,, did you hear that PK?

That was very clever of me Glass go, gas glow…

Ha ha, I’m the Deputy P…

Oh, I think I may need one.

How can we afford child support if we don’t sell coal because that’s where most of our money comes from… well, most of mine and I’m the one who… No, I didn’t leak about… Oh, I see…

Any resemblance between this and any interview that our Deputy PM did is pretty remote so any legal action is liable to result in me being the next leader of the National Party.

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

19 Comments

  1. There is a penetrating stench about this, emanating from a date (in a calendar?) connected to the top perch of the country party (it isn’t and never was national) and floating from the compass points of Armidale (so lovely, except for its polly) where odd anti Australian scheming goes on to enrich a few insiders by foreign connections to exploitative corporations and suckiktolfftoCaymans profiteers. B Joyce, recreated from expert surgical work from cast off foreskins, is a devotee of destruction, an apostle of appalling apelike asinine acts of national vandalism, now becoming an international embarrassment and a planet stuffing SIN. May he soon join Lincoln and Kennedy, Gaddafi and Saddam.

  2. Geez, Kaye, that’s how I looked one day after a long lunch shortly after I started as a temp in the public service.

    I still have the blisters on my bum from one hell of a massive drag across hot coals.

    We need some of those hot coals in Parliament House.

  3. Love the pic, that you could find such a photo of what appears to be a sack of shit with a degree of manual dexterity ( though, maybe someone else tied his tie) is truly remarkable. And, what’s more, our second in command, our deputy pusillanimous motherfucker, what a joy to behold, the visible of all of those braindead fuckers that vote this thing into parliament.
    Look in wonder, children, this is what us adults inflict on you, after all, we know best.

  4. You got me, rossleigh, I think you should send it to ports they could use it as a confuser. ps Kaye: The photo is like monte python’s mr creosote at the une petit wafer monsieur stage – then duck?????

  5. Aw shucks Rossleigh ….. I did not know that you were interested in politics and prepared to move to New England where women are preferably barefoot, pregnant & in the kitchen and ”men” think drunk and adulterous are key criteria for success while pursuing your own pecuniary interests at everybody else’s personal expense.

    @ Kerri: McCormack?? What is a ”McCormack’? A tractor?

    @ Michael Taylor: Agreed!!

    @ Vikingduk: Manure is useful ….. that is Beetrooter, Deputy Pram Monster from the back blocks of Danglemah.

    @ wam: Monty Python? Who needs Monty Python!! THAT is a accurate portrait of Beetrooter in the flesh and in the grog ( as usual) after singing his favourite New castle song, “Don’t you ever let e beer go by”.

  6. Wonder what his squeeze Campion sees in him. Money ? Fame ? Infamy ? Notoriety ? Bedroom satisfaction ? The price for all that is to be known forever as the fornicator’s accomplice.

  7. Rossleigh,

    One look at that photo and I’m in love. I’m sorry to have to tell you this in such a public way, but it never would have worked out between us. Could I have my banana cakes back? Both of them?

  8. “Wonder what his squeeze Campion sees in him … Bedroom satisfaction?”

    You will never convince me that he isn’t a “whip it in, whip it out and wipe it” bloke.

  9. leefe…. It does seem highly improbable that an alcohol sodden brain can perform adequately in any circumstances.

  10. Just noticed the ad under the photo of the Moaner Leaster, Who is the villain responsible for this outrage?

    Manufactured in Australia
    With a wide range of moulded and fabricated fittings, with a price that can’t be beaten!
    Holman IndustriesOpen

  11. At the next election I’m hoping someone [looking at you anonymous Labor people] place posters of Barnyard’s pic all over the New England electorate. No need for any text…just the pic.

  12. Hmmm, the photograph of the SERIAL DRUNK (above) is even more repugnant when one realises that the tsunami of beer tossed down the throat of this corrupt, skirt-chasing, wife-cheating, disreputable sociopath (Barnyard Joyce) is at taxpayers’ expense! Shame on everyone who is short-sighted and foolish enough to vote for this appalling, disreputable beer-swilling BOGAN who brings NOTHING but shame and disrepute to our shores! My God, is there ANYONE more stupid, more gullible and more short-sighted than the Murdoch-manipulated fools who keep on and on voting for the LNP who have PROVEN themselves to be the absolute WORST, most corrupt, self-serving, misogynistic, callously inhumane, totally inept and fascist regime in Australia’s history! NONE of them – not ONE member of the LNP at State or Federal level – has a single redeeming feature! The damage they have done to our nation, our environment, our egalitarian society, women’s equality, our international reputation and our children’s future is almost irreparable. Is it any wonder the loathsome megalomaniacal bible-thumping hypocrite, Sloth Morrison, was justifiably treated like a PARIAH in Glasgow? The LNP is full of skirt-lifting misogynists, stone cold sociopaths, corrupt political parasites and greedy narcissists overflowing with self-serving entitlement! This weak, self-promoting and unconscionable regime is a disgrace!

  13. Psssst!! Phil Pryor …. Beetrooter has a property outside Tamworth (thankfully) so we rarely see him (not that Nazional$ are well known for being seen in Armidale except for the fortnight before an election when they are shouting the bar at every pub).

    Your delightfully accurate post has worried the local Tourist Development Officer who fears that even mentioning Beetrooter in the same breath as Armidale will undo all their tourist promotion work, not to mention scare off the tree-changers with daughters considering re-locating to Armidale.

    While there is little that can be done about UNE awarding him an Accountancy degree, his former College was so unimpressed with his extra-curricular behaviour and suggested that he may like to retire from their company.

    Why even the Nazional$ candidates in the 041221 NSW Local Government elections are calling themselves (make believe) ”Independents” to dissociate from the underwhelming political party representing foreign owned multinational corporations rather than Australian voters.

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