“Name?”
“Joseph.”
“And the woman and kid are with you?”
“Yes!”
“Reason for crossing the border into Egypt?”
“King Herod is killing all the recently born children in the land.”
“So there’s no actual direct threat to you or your wife?”
“No, but the child…”
“We’ll get to the child. I’m just establishing that there’s no reason for you two to come.”
“The child could hardly travel alone.”
“All right then, couldn’t his mother have travelled alone?”
“Hardly, it’s not really safe for a woman to do that.”
“And you are the child’s father?”
“Um… it’s complicated. But she is my wife.”
“I see. Now, about this supposed attack on new-borns by Herod, how did you manage to avoid it?”
“Well, it hadn’t actually started when we left. We were warned.”
“So, it’s really just rumours?”
“I think you’ll find that it’s actually happening. Our source was very reliable. Very, very reliable”
“Yes, I’m sure. Look, we obviously have to check out your story, so until we can check out all the details, you’ll be in custody.”
“How long will that take?”
“It depends. Basically, we’ll write to King Herod and ask him if it’s true that he’s killing babies and if he says no, then we’ll send you back to him.”
“He’s not likely to say yes, is he?”
“He might.”
“Ok, if he does, then what?”
“Then we send you back because we have a good relationship with King Herod.”
“But he’s killing babies.”
“Look, he’s a king, he must have a good reason. After all, sometimes in difficult circumstances difficult things happen.”
“This is absurd!”
“Hey, nobody asked you to come here. We haven’t forgotten that Red Sea incident where a lot of my countrymen were drowned.”
“That was hundreds of years ago. And they drowned chasing the Israelites, after telling them they could go.”
“Whatever. Guard, three more for detention.”
“This isn’t supposed to happen!”
“Yeah, well, it’s happening… Oh, and Merry Christmas!”
“There’s no such thing yet. Besides, we don’t celebrate Christmas – Mary and I are Jewish.”
“Hey, the writer of this piece is living in Australia under Tony Abbott, and accuracy has nothing to with what anybody writes any more.”
“But the writer also promised that this wouldn’t be about politics!”
“Look, his main promise that it was a Christmas story, so I figured that I had to say Merry Christmas just in case the heathens out there don’t pick up the Joseph and Mary references.”
“Surely he should have kept all his promises.”
“Nah, it should be enough to just lock you and your family up. That should give everyone a happy Christmas.”
* * *
Ah well, there’s always next year! Perhaps I’ll have better luck keeping my promises then!
Whatever you believe or don’t believe, try to make it through Christmas without it causing you grief!
Peace and goodwill.
Rossleigh
