Victorian MLC Moira Deeming: the pretty face of…

“I can’t wait until I’m legally able to hunt you down.” This curse…

Science & Technology Australia welcomes National Reconstruction Fund

Science & Technology Australia Media Release The nation’s peak body representing 115,000 Australian…

Calculated Exoneration: Command Responsibility and War Crimes in…

Being the scapegoat of tribal lore cast out with the heavy weight…

The Voice: Remember When The Liberals Were Still…

At the moment we're witnessing the Liberal Party at their absurd best.…

Nazis on our streets: don't judge protesters by…

On some level, it is straightforward for a Neo-Nazi protest to be…

Whither Constitutional Change?

Within a very short space of time, we are going to be…

A Hazardous Decision: Supplying Ukraine with Depleted Uranium…

Should they be taking them? Ukraine is desperate for any bit of…

Murdoch's Zero Sum games: divisive propaganda meant to…

The Murdoch media drives resentment with propaganda as constant as drums of…


She is to blame for everything

By Melissa A. Frost

I see myself as a bit of a social observer. I listen and watch: reading through reams of threads on Social Media, establishing the pulse of the populace.

In the last couple of years I have noticed an alarmingly increasing trend of alienated baby boomer single mothers. It’s subtle. Lying between comments of those Facebookers who exagerrate family get-togethers and family holidays. You know the ones. Those Facebookers who blast us incessantly with their perfect lives and their perfect jobs and their perfect children on our feeds.

These comments rarely get a Facebook like these days. We are all so well-educated about the narcissist and the sociopath. We all know the signs. Facebook is very good at reminding us about our flawed psyche. In fact, we check ourselves sometimes. On those feeds! By exploiting those quick “Check your sociopath traits quiz”. Phew. Not I. Silly quizzes.

Nevertheless, our psyche and the way we interact with each other is important for our evolution … our trajectory. And in that evolution I have been witnessing a growing trend: the alienation of the baby boomer parent from their millenial adult children. Its a growing phenomenon.

I have been listening to stories from strong independant educated baby boomer single mothers who are been alienated by disenfranchised disgruntled millenial children. I listen to these stories in cafes, at work, read them on the internet, get glimpses of these stories between comments on threads of happy families, happy lives and happy loving children. These baby boomer single mothers are grieving. Perplexed by angry dismissive millenial adult children lashing out at their mothers of disappointment with their own lives. Ugly confrontations, screaming matches, involving everyone and anyone. Millenial adult children not needing their mothers physically but seemingly needing to thrash her emotionally. Why? I ask myself; Why? I dont have an answer. I only have observations.

Many baby boomers have done well. They grew up in a period of prosperity. But we know that baby boomer single mothers have not been advantaged by this prosperity. In fact, the ABS statistics suggest that 50-70 yrs old single woman are closer to the poverty line than we realise. These statistics are due to divorce, lack of superannuation funds, lack of secure housing, lack of job security, ageism and mortification. Maybe the key is self-sacrifice.

Women of this group are the great self-sacrificers. The resilient coping self-sacrificers. Forfeiting life’s comforts in silence to benefit their children.

So why do these millenial adult children lash out at this group? I dont have an answer but one thing I do know is that it is on the rise and growing exponentially. Parental alienation syndrome is alive and well in Australia. And baby boomer single mothers seem to be coping the flack, silently. Quietly between the threads.

 478 total views,  2 views today


Login here Register here
  1. Sheila Newman

    It is hard for a child to get independence in a tough economy with severe competition for housing or jobs. They perceive failure to live up to learned standards as a lack in themselves which they cannot explain. They are embarrassed by their parent’s anxious love and acceptance because they do not believe they deserve it, yet they cannot figure out how to deserve love. So they live in shame and denial. I learned this from observing young people with alcohol and drug problems who could not really see that alcohol and drugs were deforming their chances and personalities, but just felt guilty about not being able to get on and could not face their parents because of their shame. I’m extrapolating this to suppose that adults and adolescents in our society might interpret events and effects over which they have no real control as their own fault.

  2. Maeve Carney

    Children of single mothers are disadvantaged in many ways. Perhaps these adult children are realising that and blaming their mothers for it.

  3. Pappinbarra Fox

    I don’t understand this article. It just doesn’t make sense

  4. Matt

    Well I don’t feel very close to my mother – although she was not a “single mother” until I was 18, but even then she had partners in fact, most “single mothers” I am aware of are not entirely single, but have partners, maybe on and off. But I worked out the reason I am not close to my mother (and most of my much younger siblings also), was that she is not emotionally available and never has been. She would buy us stuff (not that much, but I think what she did buy she saw as showing love) when what we kids really wanted (and needed) was hugs and someone who was interested in our lives. That never happened except at the most superficial level. I don’t hate her though, I just think we missed out on a mother/son relationship. I think I am not alone, in fact I am sure I am not. But I am not a millenial, maybe they have additional problems.

  5. ceridwen66

    This probably doesn’t have all that much to do with this article, but it’s relevant for Whyalla tonight and a MSM 7News Adelaide article posted earlier today. Small town judgements and the usual tar and feathering. Twenty four second social media video doing the rounds of a kid being filmed by his mother smoking his first billy. Strident calls from the normal self proclaimed paragons of all morality and virtue for the mother to have the kid removed from her care, for her to be executed, run out of town, murdered or bashed. Some of the accompanying comments beggar belief.

    I doubt the mother needs a bullet, at the very least maybe some drug counselling and life coaching skills. She is the product of an invisible society which has been all forgotten except for instances like this. Then the dirt is gleefully dished and the same tired, discriminatory narrative is exhausted. Watch how quick “A Current Affair” or any other tawdry, dirty little ‘current affairs’ program jumps on this. Then watch how quick the Basics card and other nanna state legislation gets implemented here. It’s what happens, it’s how they operate. This town is already under government surveillance and consideration for ‘income support’ Some people really should know better.

    Yep, it’s not good giving any aged kid a billy and filming him having a cone, but seriously, he’s not sitting there being injected with smack or sucking on a glassie, nor is he actually being forced to do so. He is in his own home under the supervision of a not too bright parent with limited life, reasoning and parenting skills who obviously doesn’t know any better. Instead of such vicious public condemnation and judgement, maybe a bit of empathy would be better, we’ve all done things that we’re not very proud of. This is a kid we’re talking about, and local mass posting of the video will not help him, in fact, it’ll hinder him in more ways than one. I wish people would think before they perpetuate this stupidness.

    The poor bitch is copping some serious flak, I wish people would look to their own and cut her a break.

  6. Matters Not

    is in his own home under the supervision of a not too bright parent with limited life, reasoning and parenting skills who obviously doesn’t know any better

    So we should sit back and simply ignore what seems to be child abuse? I thought we’ve just had a Royal Commission into that? Then again we’ve seen what happens to a Stolen Generation?

    Lots of Rights involved. But for me the emphasis ought to be on the Rights of the Children. And sometimes that requires immediate intervention. But that’s my ‘weakness’, because I intervene when I see cruelty to animals but when it comes to children I should not intervene? Perhaps I should ‘look the other way’?

    Do what were’ve always done?

  7. ceridwen66

    No, people shouldn’t sit back and ignore child abuse, what a ridiculous question. The issue is with the very public threats of harm and condemnation towards a woman who obviously possesses little to no parenting skills and the constant reposting of the video identifying the child in question. There has been an ‘immediate intervention’, SAPOL were notified and the mother charged with supplying a prohibited substance to a minor and then bailed.

    Not sure what you mean by the Stolen Generations and how they relate to a kid smoking cones in Whyalla

  8. Matt


    Not having seen any of what you describe I can only say that an appropriate response would be offers of help and counselling – but what if they are refused?’


  9. amethyst3009

    Hi Melissa, i find your article interesting but quite confusing, especially the time line. The baby boomers are the grandparents of the millenials, not the parents, unless they had their children very late in life.

    There is a strong suggestion from NSM that Baby Boomers and Millenials should not get along. – the nonsense articles that the BBs had it so easy and have taken all the properties so the Mils have nowhere to live etc. The BBs think that the Mils are lazy and somewhat useless, too interested in their ‘devices’.

    All of that is so much tosh, a marvellous method of the 1% to set up groups against each other so they miss the big picture, ie that all the resources are being concentrated in the hands of so few (the 1%)

  10. Deanna Jones

    You can’t refer to parental alienation syndrome. The APA rejected this years ago as it has never met the criteria needed to be recognised as a syndrome. Even if you were to refer to parental alienation, which does occur, the term was never intended to be used in the, admittedly weird and illogical, context that you seem to be trying to apply it. The term only applies to children. Lots of people of all generations don’t get along with their parents. I don’t know what you are trying to say here but whatever you are talking about is not parental alienation.

  11. abbienoiraude

    What @amethyst3009 said, really.
    It is not ‘just ‘single mums’, or ‘Millenials’, or Gen X, Y or whatever….
    We ‘Baby Boomer’ mums did not have it all ‘good’, ‘done well, ‘in a time of prosperity’. Many of us gave up our careers, dreams, individuality, self determinism, independence to fulfill the ‘pretty picture’ of the impossible dream and perfect ‘forever after’ story of our post WW11 mothers. ( See how easy it is to always blame the ‘mother’?)
    We did the best with what we had and most of us were sold a ‘pup’. We Baby Boomer females were sold a story of ‘having it all’ and we felt a totally failure whatever we did. Some of us pursued and persisted with a career ( especially if we were fortunate enough to be given a good education, or a leg up financially.). Some of us were determined to be ‘free’ to travel and see what else was available ( if we had a good education and financial support.) Some of us were politicised and were determined to make a difference in the historic events of women’s feminist journey. Some of us made a decision to be revolutionary and ‘movers and shakers’ ( if we were fortunate enough to be given a good education and financial support/independence.)
    Many of us ended up much like our own mums….marrying, having children, following their man wherever the jobs were and sinking our hearts and heads into the raising of strong, recalcitrant and freer daughters and ‘released’ sons ( released from the male bonds of being tied to a job for life).
    No matter what we ‘Baby Boomers’ ( ie “Mothers”) did we were destined to be blamed.

    At the very least, I know I did the best I could, without a ‘good education’, without any support (financial or otherwise), in raising three astounding children ( with a fabulous dad involved), who even now, have ‘issues’ with their mother ( “not a good example of a ‘feminist’, “Gave too much of herself, I won’t make that mistake”, “I will never ever give myself or even have children of my own like YOU did”..etc) just as it is set out in this post.

    Single mother or not, please be reassured that most children raised as independent, thinking, feisty people seem to always ‘blame their mum’ for those things they see as ‘missing in life’.
    After 18 years old…it is now THEIR journey, not yours.
    Relax and see how it all unfolds and keep quiet as you smile to yourself of their experiences in becoming fully fledged humans of their own.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 2 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video, document, spreadsheet, interactive, text, archive, code, other. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

Return to home page
%d bloggers like this: