Ok, I know a lot of you lefties like to mock the good, Christian folk of the LNP. Not content with mocking George Pell for his views on climate change, you take every opportunity to indulge yourselves when something goes slightly wrong with the current government.
Now, it’s been suggested that one of their members has been travelling overseas to indulge in “sex tourism”.
Nothing illegal in that, of course. I mean, the AFP have investigated and made it clear that it’s not a crime. And there’s no Scott Morrison Tourism Australia promotion for “sex tourism” in Australia where some model asks, “Where the bloody hell are ya?” After all, one could hardly indulge in a seedy Australian sex tour, and that’s not just because the wages here aren’t competitive.
It’s because of fellow Coalition members who support family values.
Members like Tony Abbott, Andrew Broad and George Christensen…
Ok, Andrew Broad looks a bit of a hypocrite at the moment, but nobody could criticise the other two. Well, not without a defamation action, anyway.
So, I’m waiting for the moral right of the LNP to come out and condemn this MP. Or at the very least, condemn the MP… I’d suggest that they use the privilege of Parliament, but I doubt that we’ll have a sitting while Scott Morrison is still PM.
Now, I know all you comrades have always thought so, but I have to admit that I’m starting to find Scottie a little strange. I mean, Tony Abbott always seemed a little bit… different. Scottie always just struck me as boring. You know, the sort of uncle who’ll tell you that by your age he’d managed to save enough for the sort of lifestyle that he’ll never enjoy because he’ll never stop accumulating just enough money to make him irritating but never enough to actually stop worrying that having a coffee at a local café will cost too much.
However, it was last night when I wanted to send a friend the video of our beloved leader comparing the defence forces to a curry that he began to remind me of Harold Holt after the final scuba dive. You know that he’s there somewhere, but you’re pretty sure the oxygen isn’t getting to the brain.
Anyway the search “Scott Morrison curry” produced more search results than I needed. I mean one wouldn’t have thought that one would get several pages of results – all including a reference to our PM and curry. Try it.
Ok, I’ve decided that I’m at an age when I should grow up and vote for the LNP out of naked self-interest. I should acknowledge the superior economic management that enables successive Liberal Treasurers to suck more money from us than they give back in services. All right, I admit they haven’t done that lately because the most recent one is simply saying we’ll do that with the first one after the election and you can trust us, because the only reason we haven’t done it before is that we’ve been paying off Labor’s debt by doubling it.
(Ok, before someone gets into an argument about Modern Monetary Theory with people who have no understanding of money, I know that government debt and the Budget surplus/deficit thing have almost nothing to do with each other, but if we go down the economic path, most of us will get confused. Economics is confusing. Look at the Liberals’ take on Labor’s negative gearing policy. It will drive up rents and reduce the value of properties so before too much longer we’ll be paying $10,000 a day in rent and houses will only cost $100,000 to buy… Nobody will want to buy one, of course, because the dangerous solar panels will make them liable to burn down if you own it, but not if you rent it.)
Yeah, can’t wait to get that adulting thing going.
Merry Christmas.
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Great précis. I think I’d like to do the kind of adulting the LNP do, you know, the one where it’s always someone else’s fault and to say one thing and do the opposite.
At 51 is it too late to change from responsible to LNP?
Well I googled – Scott Morrison curry – and it took me to Sri Lanka which reminded me that in Sri Lanka, the number of Ministers and Assistant Ministers equals the number of (living) members on the government benches. It’s a case of every member gets a prize (and a cherished expense account.)
Because there’s no defections, it’s a model Scott may well consider.
Until then. https://www.facebook.com/iwakeupwithtoday/videos/304655417001727/
Then again – assignations are fairly common.
Isnt it good that George is taking field trips to the Philipines to study the customs and ‘habits’ of the local population after dark… wow what a truly civic minded politician we have here.. but George is willing to do it to foster better ‘relations” between our two countries and isnt that a good thing?
Tony Abbott professes to be a practicing Christian. Does this mean he hasn’t got it quite right yet?
Only the brain dead tories would fall for the old “family values” again and again, but then they should know that when the tories have a government they plunder public health and education, as Hockey did in 2014 when he removed $40 Billion from the funding of same, bloody disgusting. I just can’t comprehend their motives to continuously vote against themselves, are they all masochists?
Rossleigh, don’t turn adult too soon, my favourite folk are all comedians, creative people who always find something to laugh about , even when things are not going all that well…
My five year old grandson was a bit sad when parents divorced… He told me : Oma (grandma), let’s laugh.. we did,then we decided that it’s better to have TWO homes than just ONE….
( we still did not turn into them Liberals…)
“I’m starting to find Scottie a little strange. I mean, Tony Abbott always seemed a little bit… different.”
As always, and with the greatest of respect Mr Brisbane, your capacity for understatement is to be both admired and feared. Admired for the genteel chiding and feared for your previously acknowledged ability to have your genteel chiding (albeit unsubtle) adopted as IPA/LNP policy.
If you have only recently come to the realisation that “Scottie is a little strange”, to quote the fool himself, “Where the bloody hell were you?” Since August, this buffoon has lurched from one self created catastrophe to another, always oblivious to the consequences. It’s like watching Mr Magoo episodes on an endless loop. If he wants to do us a favour, he will relax the gun laws and get gifted an Adler semi auto from their donor munitions importers.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/mar/15/peter-dutton-considering-request-for-gun-importers-to-review-rule-changes
At least then, any self inflicted injury may be of enough significance to put him out of our misery. Fair dinkum, it’s like watching long term occupants of the front bar attempting to leave the establishment well after closing – the stumbling, the incoherent speech, the slurring, the rambling, the short attention span, the easy distraction, the subject hopping. Mind you, he probably has the same sensations when leaving his Church on any Sunday.
Not sure if you saw his recent cameo appearance in camo in Iraq/Afghanistan. It was high security and super secret, which was evident because he only had four platoons of media with him. As he was only dealing with terrorists, such media attention was ok. It wasn’t like they were refugees or asylum seekers, you know, real threats to Australian security. Had that been the case, a media ban with security classification ‘on water’ matters, ‘on land’ matters, ‘none of your fecking business’ matters, would have been applied. At least he showed his ‘compassionate’ side.
“”I understand it’s a sacrifice – I understand it’s a big thing to be away from your family at this time of year – and that’s why I’ve decided to come just to say thank you from one Australian to another,” he told troops at the Taji military complex north of Baghdad.”
Sure. His dropping in with a “Ta, mate” is going to bolster morale. Why doesn’t he just bring them back? As a devotee of Donald ‘The Duck’ Trump, he has all the reason he needs. Mind you, this is the truncated trip due to ‘security reasons’. No mention as to whether the proposed change in Middle East policy regarding the two state solution may have been a factor though.
“A planned visit to Afghanistan was cancelled due to operational security reasons, on advice from the Chief of the Australian Defence Force, Angus Campbell.”
Ah well, at least he re-equipped the troops with stuff you can really use in a high security, high temperature, environment.
“The prime minister, who was travelling in-country with General Campbell, brought along some rugby league footballs and shirts from his beloved Cronulla Sharks, as well as AFL balls.”
https://www.news.com.au/national/breaking-news/morrison-visits-troops-in-middle-east/news-story/885efd328580d9e5acfc26a2282a1a7f
As for “Tony being a little different”, you may be better advised to seek counsel from another renowned commentator – Bruce McAvaney. His rather peculiar, almost salacious, way of saying ‘special’ seems far more apt for these fools. “Speeeeshiuul”. It’s the sort of ‘special’ that should naturally lead to measures of quarantine, or maybe cauterisation. Beats the heck out of ‘strange’ or ‘different’.
Having taken your advice on searching Mr Magoo and curries, it is self evident you are on a winner there. His penchant for all things spicy nearly rivals the gNats. I had no idea of the reality of reality cooking shows. His fixation with curries is the basis of our immigration policy!
https://www.sbs.com.au/yourlanguage/punjabi/en/article/2018/11/05/garam-masala-immigration-brings-more-flavour-australia-scott-morrison
Not to mention the basis for our foreign policy and commitment to international treaties.
Given his unbelievable genius (I mean it, his genius is unbelievable) as a marketing guru, it’s easy to see he stays on message, even when inadvertently promoting the wrong product.
“Continuing his current barrage of social media postings Morrison’s video team filmed him promising to send curries made from his favourite Sri Lankan recipe to help promote the campaign. He also linked it to his forthcoming drought summit.”
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/nov/24/scott-morrison-thought-he-was-promoting-australia-instead-he-advertised-an-american-beer
Well, tie me up and call me Sheila! A curry will fix the drought? It’s as good as any of his other suggestions, I spose. Mind you, even the suggestion of a name change implying gender awareness is enough to invoke the Kelly theorem on sensitivity. Craig Kelly, not that screaming feminist Kelly O’Dwyer.
“It’s because of fellow Coalition members who support family values.”
Yeah, this government is all about supporting Australian family values. In keeping with his curried view of the world, he is about to deport Australian born children to one of the spiritual homes of curry, Sri Lanka. Naturally, he is providing them accommodation over Christmas.
“Aran Mylvaganam, a spokesman for the Tamil Refugee Council, has been lobbying for the family to stay in Australia since they were detained. He said he did not understand why the family could not be placed in community detention rather than held in the Melbourne immigration transit accommodation centre in Broadmeadows.
“These two girls are going to spend their Christmas in detention,” he said.”
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/dec/21/tamil-familys-appeal-to-remain-in-australia-dismissed-by-federal-court
Sri Lanka is a bit like Australia at the moment. In the past twelve months, they have had a ‘state of emergency’, a constitutional crisis and ‘temporary PM’s’. DFAT advises; “We haven’t change our level of advice – ‘Exercise normal safety precautions’ in Sri Lanka.”
https://smartraveller.gov.au/Countries/asia/south/Pages/sri_lanka.aspx
The ‘Safety and Security’ section is worth a geeze.
“The security forces have wide-ranging powers, including the authority to impose curfews, detain without charge for extended periods and to search individuals, vehicles, residences and commercial premises. Non-Sri Lankan citizens of Sri Lankan heritage have been detained on occasion by police or security forces.
There is a significant presence of military and security forces in the Northern Province of Sri Lanka, including Mannar, Vavuniya, Kilinochchi, Mullaitivu and Jaffna Districts. Travel restrictions for foreigners may be applied without notice. Marked and unmarked minefields and unexploded ordnance remain in some areas.”
Just like Strayla!
As for your observation; “You know that he’s there somewhere, but you’re pretty sure the oxygen isn’t getting to the brain.” Again, the understatement is superb. Any surgeon worth their salt would approach a lobotomy procedure as exploratory surgery rather than an attempt to remove anything vaguely resembling a critical mass.
First Dog had a go at this this morning. He said it best when summarising Magoo’s communicative genius;
“Nobody knew or cared what this meant.” Mind you, First Dog’s take on Magoo’s capacity to deal with the misadventures of his hapless, witless co-crusaders was somewhat Brisbanesque;
“There were more sex scandals than you can poke a dick at …..”
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/dec/21/climate-change-a-buffoon-prime-minister-and-a-royal-wedding-what-a-year-it-was
As for your finale;
“Yeah, can’t wait to get that adulting thing going.”
It’s ‘adultery’, not ‘adulting’. Ask any of them. They are not only all experts on etymology, but they have broadened their field of research from the confines of Canberra to the national and international spheres. Knowing these idiots and their financial competencies, they will no longer refer to ‘parliamentary allowances’, it will henceforth be referred to as ‘Research and Development’.
You see? That way they can claim they have increased funding to science.
Thank you Mr Brisbane and commenters. Trying to make sense out of the nonsensical is getting easier and easier. Take care
LNP blokes would seem to me (and the AFP) the ideal personality type to be involved with “Nubile Teens” websites and their attendant scams.
Tony Abbott is very much “under review” by the people of Warringah. https://www.voicesofwarringah.org.au/
There was talk of Dave Sharma taking over the seat.
Watching Abbott take a bite out of that onion…nothing short of disturbing. His awful policies will be forgotten but that scene was the stuff of nightmare.
Now Fat Boy is having a whinging, “Wah, they’re picking on me.” attack. As is usual people like him can dish out the dirt and muck but when it starts to focus it’s attention on him it’s out with the blustering “righteous” indignation –
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/nationals-mp-george-christensen-lashes-out-at-smear-campaign-20181222-p50nui.html
Rossleigh and Kyran: Thanks for a lovely read.
“Trying to make sense out of the nonsensical is getting easier and easier. ” Genius!
Interesting that Christensen was mentioned today for having led a delegation to the Philippines and then submitted a largely plagiarised report about it. Guess he was busy.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/dec/22/australian-mps-who-billed-taxpayers-for-trips-copying-and-pasting-text-for-reports
I s’pose that the beetrooter and/or broadbeing could possibly have an answer to the existential question:
“Do children have more fun in their childhoods than adults have in their adultery?”
The rabbott is amoral but this man embodies the trinity of the LNP. He. is immoral, hypocritical and untrustworthy.
Billy has to hope we are sick of these qualities and can see through the slogans hiding them but he must not trust the media. Just keep the answers simple and start appropriate answers with an economic plus for labor and a negative for lnp..
I loved the Andrews resolve to forget the shock jocks on radio. Can bill shut them out of the campaign?
Keep tanya and albo on the breakfast shows.
I have been wrong all year to panic but my facebook loathes the loonies and they need a reason to vote billy?
Little johnnie lying and selling gillard combining but not telling us the rabbott lies loudly yelling the copper man verdigrising but my gut aches with the thought that this smarmy slime should win an election.
Thank you Rossleigh for the laugh ……..this read made my day ….Merry Christmas, good health and a Happy New Year (in more ways than one!!
George Christenson is one of many Australian men who go to Asia [in particular the Phillipines] looking for love and I don’t know about the rest of Australia but, where I live in Far North Queensland the number of older men hand-in-hand with young Filipina women is very apparent : and there’s nothing wrong with that in principle.
Even Christensen has said That in September he first visited the Philippines after learning that a significant portion of his electorate in Dawson were from the Phillipines – mainly women – and it was there he met April Asuncion, his now-fiancee.
They met in 2017, and he proposed over the phone in August, telling News Corp: ‘she’s the one for me’.
I wish Mr Christensen and his fiancee well but there is a risk for both parties, particularly the exposure to blackmail in the case of a high profile Australian male and the risk of servitude for a young Filipina.
There was a case not long ago in FNQ where a young woman was lured away from her family in Mindanao with the promise of marriage only to end up as a servant to an all male rural household in regional Queensland where her passport and mobile phone were removed and she was required to perform household and domestic services without payment and was subject to repeated rape by one of the males : the matter ultimately went to court and prosecutions followed after a concerned neighbour reported the goings on to authorities.
Christensen’s intemperate outburst is unfortunate when he could easily have ‘outed’ himself and shared his new found love and impending nuptials with his community, after all he is a public figure !
Beautifully said, Terence.
There are successful relationships found O/S.
My work in public housing, unfortunately, revealed the dark side of partner “shopping”. However, in my private life, I have met happy couples where the young woman was treated as she should be, an equal.
As for the repulsive George Christensen, I could ponder whether he, like a number of lonely people, had difficulty finding a partner due to his own personal characteristics … and, perhaps, his financial status enabled him to overcome his less desirable aspects.
I remain flabbergasted by the way women in regional Australia accept with docile resignation the philandering life style of male politicians allegedly representing “National$ family values”; you know … Adultery, Alcoholism, Avarice, Bigotry, Duplicity, MIsogyny,Philandering and Racism to identify just a few of the main life principles.
When will the women in regional Australia say “ENOUGH!!!!!”
Or, is it a matter of fact the “Women supporting Adultery support National$”?
FFS
NEC
Takes more than just one person to adult around … in fact if it is just one person, we refer to that as self-philandering …
Boo-frigging-hoo for the LNP. What a bunch of bloody cretins!
https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/pm-s-office-had-known-for-weeks-about-sugar-daddy-andrew-broad-20181227-p50ofw.html
It’s obvious which brain rules Andrew Broad. As usual with arseholes like him it’s his family that suffers the most, but he’s “suffering” the indignity of it being in the spotlight. Waah…waah…
The biggest terrorist the Americans have is the orange man with the dead tribble on top of his head in charge –
https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/422910-trump-says-he-wants-to-visit-border-wall-before-state-of-the-union
The Coalition are so confusing. One of them hooks up with a woman in Hong Kong and gets kinda blackmailed in an amateur way which he was very naive not to see coming. So the police warn another MP who has made eight trips to the Philippines and is sending a pot-load of dough there to be careful and he responds with abuse.
You can’t save these fools from themselves.
George Christenson has blamed a former government MP for spreading rumours about him according to the SMH :
Who do you think he is taking aim at ? Are there any former senior Mp’s who are now in the past lane as he puts it ? Could it be a former deputy Prime Minister who fell from grace while playing away from home ?
Is this Monty Python sketch directly taken from a National party pre-selection meeting ? :
Terence,
He also spoke about a former senior staffer to said MP. Reports said that Martin Parkinson had been briefed about the AFP concerns, so my conclusion is he is referring to Malcolm who he always hated.