The AIM Network

Scott Morrison Meets And Beats Me Every Time!

Australia’s burning

Now before some PM gets litigious and tries to suggest that my headline suggests some sadomasochistic relationship in the prayer room between me and Scotty, I’d like to state clearly that I didn’t vote the man, so there’s no evidence of any such thing… And even if I had voted for him, there is such a thing as a truth defence…

No, I merely meant that the previous week has been so full of material that I could satirise that I was left with nothing because I couldn’t think of anything that was more ridiculous than this mob of miscreants that some people refer to as a government.

Not Scotty himself, obviously. He’d never refer to himself and his mates as a government… and by never I mean, like most of the things he says, not this week. He runs a “don’t do government” and, like Barnaby thinks that we all want government out of our lives.

As a side-note, I recently read that, as a child, he was in “Oliver” where he played The Artful Dodger… Talk about someone who was typecast at a young age…

So there I was, pen in hand… actually keyboard under fingers but that doesn’t sound as poetic… there I was, pen in hand, about to write about how we agreed to look at our emissions target for 2030 when we’d already looked at it and decided that it was just fine and we were certainly prepared to look at it again in the few hours after signing up and say, “Yeah, isn’t it great. We could look at it all day, I mean, isn’t it perfection? Yes, we’ll continue to look at it and tell it, please don’t change because we love you just the way ou are…”

However, I was distracted by… what was it again? There was something that made me stop and think I should be writing about this not that… Was it one of Barnaby’s sober interviews? By sober, I mean serious and I don’t wish to defame the man by suggesting in any way that he was anything else but serious…

Ah, yes, the nooses… Well, I would like to unequivocally say that we don’t support threats even though I understand why they’re upset and sometimes domestic violence occurs and I certainly condemn it and it has no place but I do understand that men sometimes get frustrated by women and… OH, I THINK I JUST FOUND A WAY OF DOING SATIRE BY BEING MORE OUTRAGEOUS THAN SCOTTY…

Oh damn, I just remembered that he suggested that those women who marched were too far away to meet with and that they were lucky that this was Australia because they’d be met with bullets if they tried it in some other country.

No, he beats me every time.

I think I’ll go to Hawaii…

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