Scott Morrison And The Ministry Of Information And Stuff That We Should Believe…

Gladys Berejiklian shows she knows Morrison will push her under a bus.

In a crisis, good information is paramount so it’s really lucky that this isn’t a crisis.

Just in case you’re confused, it’s not a crisis because we have everything on target and going to plan and now, we have a four phase plan which describes what will happen in the future assuming that it does. Added to this we now have some army guys running “Operation Covid Shield” which aims to shield the Prime Minister from any awkward questions by having the generals answer them. General Frewen announced in June that we were having a “complete refresh” which is army talk for: ‘’We just sustained a series of heavy defeats so we’re pretending that our strategy of retreat and surrender is part of a new plan for victory.”

But I think you’ll all agree that it’s good to have the army in charge… Well, not in charge. There hasn’t been a military coup, in spite of Dutton being Defence Minister. The vaccine rollout had been in the hands of private companies but like the Covid-Safe App and JobKeeper, it soon became apparent that this was only fifty percent effective. While it didn’t actually help with the battle against Covid-19, it did manage to transfer money from the pockets of the government into private industry which – as anyone following the Liberals knows – it’s better that people have the money rather than governments.

To illustrate this you only have to look at the Great Barrier Reef foundation who were given nearly half a billion dollars without asking for it, or the Car Park scheme where money was allocated for a car park next to a non-existent train station. You wouldn’t get private industry spending money like that. No, as the Liberals keep telling us, don’t trust us with anything, we’re incompetent! Well, they don’t say it quite like that, but they tell us that governments can’t be trusted to be efficient, even when they’re the government.

Anyway, back to the importance of information in battling Covid-19. Let’s clearly set it all out:

  1. Lockdowns are bad for the economy and we need to work to avoid them, and the Prime Minister says Gladys is wonderful because she’s managed to do just that.
  2. In order to stop lockdowns you need to get vaccinated.
  3. People aren’t getting vaccinated because there’s some confusion about the fact that they can’t book in unless they see their doctor and if they’re under sixty lots of doctors are telling them that they’d be better to wait for the Pfizer dose which is coming in millions of doses in the coming months.
  4. Scott Morrison’s office leaks to journalists that he was the one who encouraged Gladys to lockdown.
  5. More than half of Australia’s population is in lockdown, so you need to consider asking your doctor again about Astra-Zeneca because things have changed.
  6. We need to get more people vaccinated to get the economy moving.
  7. Brendan Murphy and the PM are telling us that more vaccinations wouldn’t have stopped the current lockdowns anyway because Delta is happening in other countries who have a much better vaccine rollout…
  8. By much better vaccine rollout, it should be made very clear that they only had a better rollout because they weren’t victims of their own success like we were and they thought it was a race.
  9. It wasn’t a race but now it is and we have to catch up, so will someone do a story about the restorative power of curries when it comes to hair growth?

I think that’s about it.

Quotes from the movie, Forrest Morrison:

“Life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you’re getting unless you look at the bottom of the box and then all the chocolates fall out.” – Scotty

”Listen, you promise me something, OK? Just if you’re ever in trouble, don’t be brave. You just run, OK? Just run away.” – Jenny

“I may not be a smart man, Jenny, but I know what polls are.” Scotty

”Run, Scotty, run!” Rupert Murdoch

”Stupid is as, stupid does.” Barnaby Joyce.

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About Rossleigh 1447 Articles
Rossleigh is a writer, director and teacher. As a writer, his plays include “The Charles Manson Variety Hour”, “Pastiche”, “Snap!”, “That’s Me In The Distance”, “48 Hours (without Eddie Murphy)”, and “A King of Infinite Space”. His acting credits include “Pinor Noir Noir” for “Short and Sweet” and carrying the coffin in “The Slap”. His ten minutes play, “Y” won the 2013 Crash Test Drama Final.

14 Comments

  1. Scummo can’t run as fast or as far as he wishes, because he has this thing called a Gold Standard shoved up his backside. Rupert will just have to perform ultimate surgery to rid him of that.

  2. Post yesterdays federal cabinet, our gladbags has gone MIA. So much for standing up and being counted when your fellow (bin)chickens are coming home to roost.
    With the NSW numbers higher again this morning than they were yesterday,and with more than half of that number at large in the community while infectious, today was not the day to declare a rest day.
    Was it realy any wonder that the various states did not want to share their toys?
    This whole Covid19 battle has been like a Ninja Warrior course, with pointy sticks and slashing blades and acid baths for when the contestants fall off, and everyone is blinfolded, and our federal dealership has entered the field of battle with no training, no strategy for each obstacle, and no idea of how to play the course as a team.
    Australia’s hallowed dealer in chief, scotty of the happyclap, and master (it’s all relative) of the missed oportunity, has stumbled from one disater to another, only surviving thus far with a masterful use of distraction, subterfuge, and deft use of a bus timetable.
    His undoing is coming hard and fast, and I think even he is aware that he cannot escape comments from over his neighbourhood fence that get beamed mid press conference into the stratosphere.
    @ Bill. That is a worrying document from the FDA and CDC in septicville.
    It will be interesting to hear the screams of anguish when some of those little darlings from the overpriced and overprivileged private prat eduction centre in sydney start to show any advers side effects to being “protected” from the virus by “mistake”. Who’s head will it be on the pike?
    Is there a pill, or tonic, that adds backbone to a person? Someone should slip some into the bin-chicken’s morning cuppa, so that she can look straight at the camera tomorrow and say “Fuck this. You all have to stay home. No visits. No group shopping. Home and in bed by 8pm. And stop whining. I gave you a chance, and some of you have fucked it up for the rest of us. Now deal with it” That would be a presser worth watching, instead of the wringing of hands and sad eyes and begging and pleading for humans to stop behaving like our species is really good at.
    Stay safe all.
    Good Luck NSW.

  3. Uhm ….. I stand with Dan and Mark and AP!! Go Early Go Hard and Get Over COVID-19 Quickly

  4. ” – as anyone following the Liberals knows – it’s better that certain* people have the money rather than governments.”

    Fixed. (*In this context, ‘certain’ means ‘the ones who already have heaps of it and donate it to us to help keep us in power’.

  5. It seems to have flown under the radar but the Morrison government are said to be potentially funding the acquisition of Digicel a telecommunications company that dominates in the Pacific region including the largest mobile phone carrier in Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Samoa, Vanuatu and Tahiti.

    The Morrison government, according to Telstra, will finance the bulk of the bid using the now privatised Telstra as the government’s acquisition vehicle.

    According to reports in the media – which are sketchy at the best – our government is doing this at the insistence of the US who want us to block any acquisition attempts by the Chinese telecommunications giant, Huawei.

    For some reason our government are not issuing any statements on this but here is something from Reuters news agency :

    https://www.reuters.com/business/media-telecom/telstra-talks-buy-digicel-pacific-with-australian-government-help-2021-07-18/

    WATCH THIS SPACE !

  6. Correction GL: “Oh for Christ’s sake.” 😉

    Not that the evidence of Christ ever existing is very convincing in it sparcity.

  7. Oh what a photo, Rossleigh!!! Scummo, masked, reflecting his god’s attitude to women, no mask for cladys but the suitably bowed head, all for listening to a snake. Let’s not forget the families of those who died of blood clots who would most likely be alive if scummo had bought the 40m pfizer in 2020 and remind our rabbottians of the pollies access to pfizer, at every opportunity, and loud enough for others to hear. Love the reef crowd a gang of four with $111m each in the bank for 3 years not bad at any interest rate? Be normal if there were targets for them???? ps waltz of the cuckoo lets not forget who gave the rabbott unlimited access to cash so, like the reef splash, money used to seed electorates and buy companies has been no object for the last 6 years.

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