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Number 1 for 2022: Jenny Morrison Slammed For Lack Of Manners!

The countdown is over! In proving that satire and a good laugh can lift our spirits in the darkest of political times, Number 1 goes to Rossleigh for this article from February.

Congratulations, Rossleigh. After a couple of runners-up you can finally pop the champagne corks. Well done!

Jenny Morrison Slammed For Lack Of Manners!

The other day I invited a couple over for a barbecue. Actually when I say that I did, it was, in fact, my wife who invited them, but never mind. We went to a nearby park where they have barbecues because I wasn’t going to use my gas on these people. Anyway, things were going along quite nicely until I told the bloke’s wife to go and get me another drink and she said, “Get it yourself, you lazy bastard!”

Well, I took to social media straight away and said what a rude bitch she was and how she lacked manners and I was always taught that when you’re in somebody else’s home… Or at least, in a park close to where someone lives, even if it’s not their home… Or rather when someone invites you… Ok, I didn’t actually invite her.

Yeah, I think you know where I’m going with this…

Spin doctors and the media are good at framing things so that you see a picture but don’t actually notice the wall it’s hanging on. And so, Mrs Morrison’s little dummy spit about Grace Tame on 60 Minutes has just been allowed to stand without the media pointing out some basic facts:

  1. If someone is your guest, it is extremely poor to point out their bad manners to everyone else.
  2. Mrs Morrison did not invite Grace Tame. She was invited as the outgoing Australian of the Year, and whoever did the invitations, it wasn’t Lady Macbeth or her husband.
  3. It was at The Lodge in Canberra. While some people have been arguing that the people of Australia own the place where Scotty and his loved one live and others have been saying that because they live there it’s their home, the fact is that Mrs Morrison lives at Kirribilli in Sydney. I have no information on exactly how many nights, she’s spent at The Lodge, but I’m willing to bet that Josh Frydenberg spent more nights there than her. (Remember how he and Scott were shacked up together and how Josh was explaining that they do the dishes after cooking because apparently there are no cooks, housekeepers or dishwashers, either human or mechanical.)
  4. Mrs Morrison seemed to suggest that she could no longer take holidays after the Hawaiian kerfuffle, but I’m sure that there have been photos of the Morrisons on vacation at Shoalhaven since then. Maybe she doesn’t consider anything within the Australia as a holiday and unless she’s taken to the April sun in Cuba, it’s just another day at the office.

Scott Morrison was very careful not to have a go at Grace Tame. He’s aware that another emotional outburst against a “civilian” like his Christine Holgate tantrum wouldn’t play well in the electorate. So, instead, he got Jenny to say it. You can be pretty sure that candid interviews with any politician’s family are stage managed to ensure that the partner doesn’t come out with something like, “Yes, we certainly had our problems when first met owing to previous relationship with a Hell’s Angel, but once Freddie went to jail I was able to kick my drug habit and I’ve settled to down to the extent that I only ever have a Gin and Tonic on nights when I’m going to the swingers’ event when my husband is in Canberra!”

I probably should add that I’m speaking generally here and, while I’m sure that you all know that I’m not referring to that good Christian couple of Scott and Jen, I feel I should add that if any politician’s wife does drink G & Ts and go to swinging parties, it’s pure coincidence and any defamation action would be an admission of guilt.

Anyway, it’s been a fiery last week in Parliament with The Speaker having the Standing Orders book open for the entirety of Question Time. (This is not a joke, have a look and you’ll see to him refer to it, every time Labor point out that his ruling is inaccurate.)

As we get closer to the election, everything gets a little more ridiculous except for Alexander Downer who has the saving grace that he could never get more ridiculous. He had a piece in “The Australian Financial Review” about the narrow path to victory for the Coalition. Among his pearls of wisdom was this:

“Too few of the current ministry are prepared to do that. Josh Frydenberg and Dutton cannot be left with Morrison to do it alone. Far too many ministers are just sitting in their offices drawing a salary and not getting out and selling the government message to the public.”

Now, I don’t know about Lord Downer, but I’m pretty sure that the idea that there are “ministers sitting in their offices drawing a salary” suggests to the average person like they’re not really working very hard and the only thing that they need to do is “sell” their message rather than any actual work in their relevant portfolio. Yes, that certainly makes me think that this is a party worthy of the slogan, “We don’t hold a hose unless we’re in the prayer room!”

Scotty and his band of merry men are anxious to suggest that Labor and the Greens are a coalition, which is a strange tactic given one of the criticisms of Labor is that they’re not doing enough about climate change. This strategy will undoubtedly play well to the people who think that Barnaby Joyce is articulate and clever, but it’s not going to win the second preference of anyone voting for an Independent because the Coalition think that committing to 2050 was enough and some future government can sort out how it’s going to happen.

Another line of attack is the suggestion that Anthony Albanese has never held an economic portfolio, which is strange from a party that would argue that every portfolio is part of the economy. However, I guess it’s also a way of putting a dent in Peter Dutton’s leadership aspirations and this may be why Josh keeps bringing it up. Still, I don’t see how being Treasurer while the country piles up more debt than it’s had in its entire history and presiding over the first recession this century is a better qualification for leadership than not ever being Treasurer.

The other line of attack on Labor is that they’re China’s preferred party in the coming election. As a line of attack, this could open up questions of which party do various other countries prefer? I mean would it be a recommendation if Boris Johnson were to say that the Liberal Party is the party he wants, so no more birthday parties! If Boris gives you the thumbs up and then is deposed, would that be a good omen? And will we ask Macron? Would Biden say, “Yeah, you should vote for that fella down under… You know the one that’s worn out the carpet next to his bed… from being on his knees… praying… I need to make myself clear. He’s a good friend to the US but not that good.”

Whatever, I’m not sure that slogan “A VOTE FOR LABOR IS A VOTE AGAINST WAR WITH CHINA!” is quite the vote winner that Dutton envisages…

So, what surprises will the rest of the week bring? A leadership spill? A minister sacked? A trip to Government House. (No not to call an election, just to see if David Hurley is still there or whether he’s moved on…)

Whatever, there’ll be no ukulele playing. The best we can hope for is one of the ministers on the fiddle.

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  1. Phil Pryor

    Among other things, a vote for the Dutton-Smallrecord fiasco is a vote for lies, incompetence, warmongering, social ignorance, economic fumbling, matey leaks of our money, the assorted gauche, sinister and substandard…huckinfell…

  2. New England Cocky

    Ahhh Rossleigh a hard earned and well deserved accolade for your year of keeping Australian voters thinking.

    I look forward to you and your comrades in political comedy GG and PP accurately describing the antics in Canberra from all pollies regardless of their alleged political affiliations during 2023.

  3. Kathryn

    Hmmm, after the people of Australia resoundingly voted against the LNP in order to kick that repugnant little war mongering garden gnome, John Howard to the gutter, did the LNP learn a single thing about humility, compassion and NOT to use war, hate and xenophobic racism as a distraction against their inherent corruption, arrogance, self-entitlement and appalling misogyny?

    Answer: Nope!

    After it became as clear as the long honker on that LNP-supporting fool, John Elliott’s face that the swaggering, inarticulate, totally inept, unspeakably misogynistic intellectual midget, Tony Abbott, was about as popular as a pork chop in a Jewish Synagogue with about as much chance of winning a federal election in Australia as Clive Palmer has in winning the Sydney to Surf Marathon, did the LNP learn a single thing about respecting women, egalitarianism, equality and compassion for ANYONE or ANYTHING except enriching themselves and their obscenely rich donors in the Top 1%?

    Answer: Nope! Nope! Nope! (to quote the RAbbott himself)

    After Abbott was quickly rolled out of view like an embarrassing old uncle with a major flatulence problem, the LNP then decided to go “all out” and push the supercilious Malcolm Turnbull in Abbott’s place. To be fair, in hindsight, Turnbull, an arrogant, non-achieving and extremely wealthy elitist seemed to be the “best” of a very, very bad bunch but his spot in the limelight was rapidly short thanks to the backstabbing maneuvering and power play by the next up-and-coming political psychopath, Scott Morrison! Did the LNP learn ANYTHING about loyalty, support, respect and diplomacy?

    Answer: Nope! Nope! Nope!

    Once the worst of the very worst, Sloth Morrison, rose to the top like faecal matter in a polluted pond, he quickly revealed himself to be SO DAMN BAD, so megalomaniacal and such a smirking, uncultured, two-thumbs-up BOGAN, he made Abbott aka the WRECKING BALL, look like a frigging genius! Morrison, the internationally condemned pathological liar, had such an appalling lack of discernment he became a signed-up member of the notorious CULT OF HILLSONG, once led by the unconscionable predator, Frank Houston, a convicted, recidivist paedophile! After all the dirt came out about hanky panky Frankie, it didn’t take MorriSCUM long to shun any friendship he maintained with Frank’s son, Brian Houston, and switch over to another obscure, prosperity-driven CULT known as Horizon. Morrison and his Stepford Wife, Jenny, are consistent in their pathetic endeavours to hide their disingenuous, self-serving corruption, malignant treacherous backstabbing disloyalty, stratospheric arrogance and remorseless self-entitlement behind a phony, transparent cloak of nauseating bible-thumping hypocrisy! What Morrison FAILED to realise is that he was akin to the Hans Christian Anderson tale, “The Emperor Without Clothes” in that everyone but Morrison – and the like-minded gormless, Murdoch-manipulated, misogynistic and racist fools who voted for him – could clearly see how depraved, deceitful and corrupt he was and still IS to this day!

    After the abysmal narcissistic bully Morrison eventually destroyed the vision the pompous, late but not great, cigar-chomping, classist UK-worshipping tragic, Robert Menzies, once had in relation to the LNP in rapid time, Morrison quickly turned himself into an international laughing stock and became the most despised, relentlessly depraved and inhumane PM in our history and known throughout the world as a reprehensible pathological liar. Morrison was notorious for being an unimaginative bogan, a non-achieving long-term political parasite who failed to hold down any job out in the REAL world that required hard-work, imagination or commitment! The only dubious talent this mediocre malingerer had was his ability to take credit for OTHER people’s achievements or ideas and managing to select the absolute WORST group of cruel, self-serving miscreants he could find to be part of the WORST, most despised political cabinet in living memory! Did the LNP learn a bloody thing from our nation’s vile experience with their unenlightened f*ck up, Morrison?

    Answer: Not bloody likely because the LNP are INCAPABLE of change!

    How do we know this? Because the LNP have now gone ahead and pushed out one of the worst, most dangerously undemocratic and callously inhumane sociopaths from Morrison’s diabolical cabinet = Peter Dutton! If there is ANYONE who could share the podium with Abbott and MorriSCAMMER as the WORST PMs in our history, the deeply unpopular, sadistic, multi-millionaire, ex-Qld cop, Peter Dutton is it! There he is, a monstrous, remorseless sociopth waiting in the wings like some salivating Behemoth, ready to turn heartlessness, corruption and political malfeasance into some type of warped virtue!

    Does Australia really want a repeat performance by these lying, conniving parasites who’s ONLY legacy is $1 TRILLION in debt whilst thumping their chests and cynically bragging that they are the “best economic managers” !!!!

    Bloody hell!
    The resounding answer should be:

  4. Max Gross

    “We don’t hold a hose unless we’re in the prayer room!”
    Pure gold!!!

  5. Anne Naomi Byam

    Congrats Rossleigh for deservedly being awarded such an accolade as this No. 1 on AIMN. When your fingers hit the keyboard and produce, we benefit from that, with much food for thought and many sanity inducing chuckles. We need a laugh or two these days – and you can be relied upon to provide such sage wisdom, wrapped up as it most always is, in great humour and spot on observation.

    While here : Want to wish you all a very Happy New Year and a better year 2023 than some of the most recent years have been.

    Very special thanks to Michael and Carol for all their hard work, along with Rossleigh. ” Moderatrice extraordinaires. ” … for sure.

  6. Stephengb

    Rossliegh at his very best – thank you

    Kathryn, your paragraph on that Sloth Morrison, is by far one of the best descriptions I have read, well done.


    Thank you to all of the contributors to AIMN, you all have kept us thinking.

  7. Michael Taylor

    Yes indeed, Stephen, Kathryn’s comment could easily be a post on its own. Watch this space!

  8. Claudio Pompili

    Good article…

    One must remember, however, that over 1/2 of all voting Australians elected to vote in Morriscum and LNP for 10 long years, and overall conservative for more times than it’s worth remembering since WWII

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