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God votes for the LNP

By Paul G Dellit

To avoid confusion or misunderstandings, “God”, in this article, refers to all manifestations of the deity in monotheistic religions. We will allow Christian religions, such as Catholicism to be included even though their god is referred to as “The Holy Trinity”. As we know, their “Trinity” is a legal fiction created for income-splitting tax purposes, much as the Catholic Church exists on Sundays when the plate is passed around at Mass, but ceases to exist when the victims of their paedophilia commence litigation. Apparently they have found a way around the master/servant relationship priests have with the organisation that anointed them and funds them.

The Church of England is also included even though at least one of their Archbishops of Canterbury was too polite to be too dogmatic about the traditional claim that Jesus Christ was, in fact, God (perhaps for fear of antagonising the agnostics and alienating the atheists). The question as to whether this would leave the Church of England with a Holy Duopoly is still up in the air, though the smart money has it that the stationery costs would be more than the change is worth, and anyway, who would send their kids to Duopoly Grammar.

The other attributes of our “God” is that he is omniscient (knows everything about everything, past, present, and to come) and omnipotent (made everything from the smallest particle and wave of energy, can change the course of history, a la raising the dead Lazarus, and override the laws of nature, a la walking on water, large scale catering by creating loaves and fishes out of thin air and turning water into wine. Yep, this guy can do anything he wants to.

And I’m sorry to break it to you, little ladies, but he is a ‘he’, a very patriarchal ‘he’ who inspired all the other guys who wrote the gospels (and Tony Abbott) to tell you so. They might have contradicted each other on a lot of points and never wrote a single line of “Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen”, but they were solid on the assertion that the little woman was meant to be the perfect ‘her in doors’ devoted to life-long domestic duties – to be an underpaid nurse or teacher before she was married, an unpaid wife and mother, and finally, when she was widowed and discovered that her husband had drunk his life assurance and spent his super on a number of Eves who didn’t exactly give their apples away for free, an underpaid tea lady.

The other term we must be clear on is “LNP”. In this article it is used in the parabolic sense of standing for all right wing political movements which espouse the rights of the individual and beggar my neighbour. In other words, “LNP” comprehends any organisation which subscribes to the Thatcher dictum that society doesn’t exist and that people live together in dog-eat-dog competition with one another. Scott Morrison, for example, is an archetypal adherent of LNPism. He may have been born with the usual impulses towards empathy and genuine concern for others, but beneath that shell of smug, devil-may-care self-satisfaction, LNPism has eaten away every last vestige of a social conscience and replaced it with a sociopathic desire to achieve power at any cost.

So, how can we surmise, with any confidence, that God votes for the LNP? Well, even if we allow that Jesus is a fully paid up member of the Trinity and spent the adult part of his thirty three years on earth saying a number of things that smack of socialism (but, sorry girls, not even closet feminism), he must be considered the ‘ex parrot’ of human manifestations of God-on-Earth. He has pissed off to the easy life beyond the sky. God is no longer with us. He is back in his natural environment. He is doing what God does in Heaven. And if you know as little as I do about the religions of The Book, which cover all the bases as far as monotheism goes, you will at least know something about what God has been up to in Heaven. For example, we know that God likes war. He created Lucifer as a really beautiful angel with a big ego. God is omniscient, so he knew that this was going to lead to war and that he will win the war with Lucifer and will kick him out of Heaven and send him to Hell (also created by God). We must conclude that God set the whole thing up for a bit of fun, and that fun, for him, includes war when you know you are going to win. Now, doesn’t this have some parallels with earthly appetites for war. They are waged by those who believe they will win, acquire great power and wealth, have their egos boosted enormously, and all at the expense of people other than themselves. I think you will agree that, in terms of our LNP definition, that’s one tick for an LNP candidate.

Now let’s look at the question of suffering on earth. Our omniscient, omnipotent God created Adam and Eve. It is true that Bible revisionist, faced with the time-frames established for evolution, have had to abandon the 6,000-years-ago date for the beginnings of life on earth and in the light of evidence of all the predecessor species to us, now consider that the Adam and Eve story to be apocryphal. Nevertheless, they still maintain the existence of Original Sin, i.e. once we didn’t have it but now we do. The Bible still maintains that God was our ultimate creator and that we were in a perfect state of being when he created us, but that an Original Sin was committed by our first distant relatives. It was their fault that we live in the kind of world we live in. But it must also be true that God knew from the beginning that he had created those distant relatives of ours with the predisposition to commit the Original Sin and that they would commit it, with the result that all the people, and other species, which have existed from the date of the Original Sin, none of whom/which had anything to do with committing the Original Sin, have been made to suffer. No one escapes this world without suffering. Billions of creatures have suffered much more than any pleasure they have had.

So, what kind of individual has the character trait that seeks personal gratification at the expense of everyone but themselves. I think we have another tick for an LNP candidate.

We could go on, ad nauseam, citing examples of patriarchal, ego-maniacal, solipsistic, sociopathic, and even psychopathic behaviours on the part of God which neatly overlap with the values of the LNP. We need look no further than the treatment by Messrs. Morrison and Dutton of the children, women and men they have held and continue to hold in torturous, soul-destroying detention to find an instance of complete overlap. God has made these men in his own image.

If you were to ask me to pick one avatar that I would have complete sympathy with, I would choose Guanyin, a bodhisattva which is something akin to a saint in Christianity. Guanyin is the embodiment of compassion and through all of the many versions of her mythical existence the theme of all things anathema to the values perpetrated by the LNP are to be found. Worth a read:

Paul#1 Paul G. Dellit (pictured) has a B. Soc. Sci. (majors in sociology and economics) and a Diploma in Professional Wool Classing. He wanted to be a writer for as long as he can remember, but first became a law student, then a Malay Language Interpreter as a National Serviceman in Malaysia, a Canberra Public Servant involved first in providing international policy advice and then negotiating joint ventures with the private sector on behalf of the Commonwealth, a small scale primary producer and Public Servant commuter, a Melbourne based consultant involved in the commercial development of advanced IT systems, and now, at last, a writer.



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  1. John Kelly

    I’ve always thought Scott Morrison might be a messianic figure of sorts, then again, Satan works in mysterious ways. We would need to have Scott take a 40 year….oops, 40 day sabbatical in the desert to be sure.

  2. Peter F

    Wonderful work, Paul.

  3. Adrianne Haddow

    With ‘God’ on their side, the LNP can justify anything. Something akin to divine right to rule.

    Great idea, John Kelly, although I suggest a 40 day sabbatical on Manus island or Nauru, living under the same conditions as those unfortunate asylum seekers who thought they were coming to ‘heaven on Earth’ and instead found hell.

  4. roaminruin

    Steely Dan fan, Paul?

  5. Anomander

    I take it all the other creatures of god’s realm were similarly affected by original sin? Otherwise why would they have been drowned in the great flood? That would just be needless and wanton destruction of life on a planetary scale.

    Hang on, that does sound a lot like the aspirations of the LNP.

  6. Sen Nearly Ile

    Asimov had god taped! Surely, his god can be convinced to vote labor?

    The copper is good enough for us says the copperman:
    NBN chief financial officer Stephen Rue confirmed in the hearing that NBN had bought 1.8 million metres, or 1800 kilometres of copper worth $14 million, just to see it through the first six months of the fibre-to-the-node rollout.
    but the psalms say:
    ‘Every fiber of my being[a] will shout,
    “Eternal One, there is none like You!’

    I like the rabbott’s “I am dedicating every fibre of my being to ensure this country flourishes”.

    Labor could try having a laugh at the continuing man of warringah and his godly mates by emphasising ‘fibre’ in context with his peak speed with o’brien and his I’m no tech head/bill gates????
    Indeed there are so many gaffes that having a laugh might boost the dullness of the opposition and highlight the danger of re-electing these loonytoons?????

  7. kasch2014

    Christianity is expressed in the “New Testament” and all the above is pretty much irrelevant, vacuous gibberish. The old testament is mostly history and mythology (if it were written by a presently politically correct and popular ancient cultural source, say an Afican Bantu Tribe, it could well be revered for a few months by the same people who rave against it now).

    In the New Testament the words of Christ are : “my Kingdom is not of this world”. Whatever the corrupted church and all other misled trolls make of the misapplied quotes used to spread their personal fear, hatred, and vilification – I would recommend that you actually read the whole of the New Testament (it’s not very long, but meaty), and try to accept the pure but arcane language used and get to the core message, which is nothing like the toxic nonsense pooped out of the writers vent. This is done without any attempt at honest research and clear thinking & comprehension. Usually most people’s state of self medication and prescription drugs will, over time, make clarity and honesty impossible. Added to polluted city air and constant stress, maybe a few weeks of cleaning out and meditation / prayer in a purer rural setting will be a perfect prelude to reading the New Testament so that one can actually take in and understand what’s there.

    And the LNP are the most corrupt, blinkered and ignorant ratbags going. They would quote the Karma Sutra for the gain of three votes from one gullible audience, and be outraged by same in front of another the next day. As would many other politicians, many of whom live in a value free zone, as we all know. The core of all this is – it’s a value-free, I-me world now. People are so myopically selfish, alienated from life, and ignorant in the main, and blindly arrogant to go with that, that a totally ego-challenging doctrine like Christ’s would be an automatic hate vent for most people. It’s really only for a few in the end game, which isn’t so far off now, I suppose.

  8. Kaye Lee


    I guess I was trying to show the danger of using selected quotes as is so often done with other religious texts. I spent many years studying the bible. It has some good messages about living together in an ever more interconnected and crowded society but the emphasis on worship leads to intolerance and exclusion – worship like me or be damned.

  9. corvus boreus

    If Bantu ‘scriptures’ were presented claiming a single male deity, denouncing the seeking of knowledge, justifying/glorifying genocide, slaughter and slavery, and demanding, as ‘divine law’, things like the stoning to death of victims of rape if they did not cry out loudly enough, I would find such texts as ridiculous and repugnant as I do some of the tracts in the ‘Holy Bible’.

  10. townsvilleblog

    My message is easy to understand: religion = delusion.

  11. Neil of Sydney

    We need look no further than the treatment by Messrs. Morrison and Dutton of the children, women and men they have held and continue to hold in torturous, soul-destroying detention to find an instance of complete overlap.

    These people were all locked up by the ALP

  12. Sen Nearly Ile

    Sorry, Kaye for a narrow selection and spot on corvus:
    The crux of christianity is by men for men and requires indoctrination to keep this biblical truth:
    “For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.” 1 Corinthians 11:2-10

  13. Michael Taylor

    Neil, there is not one Labor voter here who supports Labor’s policy on offshore detention. It is irrelevant who locked children up. The issue is that the current government should release them.

  14. Mercurial

    NeilofSydney: “We need look no further than the treatment by Messrs. Morrison and Dutton of the children, women and men they have held and continue to hold in torturous, soul-destroying detention to find an instance of complete overlap.

    “These people were all locked up by the ALP”

    Your point being? Who cares who locked them up in the first place? Why is that relevant to the issue? The fact is, they’re there now. If the ALP regained power would you then say ‘the LNP kept them there’?

    What a silly, fatuous argument.

  15. David

    Mercurial…I was going to post on much the same lines, more nonsensical rubbish from that tosser from Sydney. I had lived in false expectation he had been given the order of the boot. Oh well itches can always be scratched

  16. terry

    or there’s the liberal mantra , user pays and if you cant keep up we not carrying you . then they go to church

  17. Kyran

    The ‘omni’ that worried me most was ‘omnipresent’. This being, that knows everything and has unlimited power, was everywhere, in a time continuum. That a powerful, all knowing (and sometimes benevolent) being could witness the cruelty of his ‘earthly charges’ and not intervene, caused me to lose faith in fairy tales of any sort. He was no longer omnipotent, merely impotent.
    The public are no longer allowed access to the electoral roll’s. If I had any money, I would have no qualms betting the lot on god not being enrolled. (As an aside, tiny has declared he wants another go. The questions about his dual citizenship go live again, as they can only be questioned for a certain time frame after he nominates, ie ‘show us your RN’).
    Notwithstanding this, the LNP will, no doubt, say he is on their side.
    “So, what kind of individual has the character trait that seeks personal gratification at the expense of everyone but themselves. I think we have another tick for an LNP candidate.”
    Does this suggest god is not, in fact, a voter? He is, surely, a candidate.
    The movie ‘The man who sued god’ is one I must view again.
    “We need look no further than the treatment by Messrs. Morrison and Dutton of the children, women and men they have held and continue to hold in torturous, soul-destroying detention to find an instance of complete overlap. God has made these men in his own image.”

    Most of the comments seem to reflect the same sentiment. If you have a god, fair play to you, and may your god go with you. But don’t use your imaginary friend to intimidate others. And certainly don’t use tenuous links to reality to explain cruelty.
    Thank you, Mr Dellit. Take care

  18. Paul G. Dellit

    Dear kasch2014,

    Not sure I understand your points. Are you saying that:
    1. the Old Testament is a mixture of history and mythology;
    2. the New Testament is an unalloyed historical record of the life of Jesus;
    3. the four gospels which appear in the New Testament are therefore true, albeit that they contradict one another and were written between 70 and 100+ years after the death of Jesus;
    4. we should therefore discount the Old Testament even though Jesus is recorded in the New Testament as invoking much of the Old Testament, particularly in his use of the threat of Hell for dissenters – not willing to turn the other cheek for these coves – perhaps we should interpret Christ’s compassion as applicable only to his mates.
    5. various Christian churches have got the New Testament all wrong, but you, perhaps uniquely, are possessed of the valid interpretation.
    6. people who disagree with your interpretation, including those willfully misleading Christian churches, are worthy of derision and scorn and should be dealt with as Jesus dealt with his dissenters.

    I was sad to observe such animus and vitriol in your comment, much more in evidence than that any form of critical analysis of the arguments in play – but perhaps that is the Christian way.

    Yours unenlightened,

    Paul G. Dellit

  19. diannaart

    God blesses all who pray to and love Him.

    I guess He has to toss a coin sometimes…

  20. Jennifer Meyer-Smith

    The LNP is made up of pretend Christians. They do more harm to Christianity by claiming to be Christian while performing the work of the Devil. It’s easy to hate them and people like them.

    They shield their consciences (or the place where their consciences would be, if they had them) by attending confession and thinking they have absolved themselves of their sins.

    We all are frustrated and sickened by their outrageous hypocrisy and blatant arrogance, as they either think we don’t see their contempt or they don’t care if we do.

    While it is hard for good people, who also happen to be Christians, to defend their faith in the light of this hypocrisy, I respect those good people for standing up and being counted for keeping their faith anyway.

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